Hi ladies, I'm new to the community and I was wondering how you are all coping, or have coped with the worrying? I am 6 weeks and 4 days and I worry ALL the time. My 8 week scan is on 2nd Jan and the wait to know if things are ok is just agonising!
You're not alone. All I can say is try not to let your mind be consumed with negative thoughts, but its normal; welcome to motherhood....I worried all the way up until the day DD was born and then some!
I hope you find someway to help yourself relax.
# 1
BFP: 9/17/2013, EDD: 6/1/2014
Welcome to the World, Brielle Lorraine: 5/23/2014 @ 2:01pm, 6lbs 6oz, 19.75in
Thank you for your response. You're right I need to find a way of relaxing. Maybe I need to take up yoga! It's just the unknown that is so scary, and I'm a first time mum and I had no idea if this was normal. It's reassuring in a way to know it's not just me.
It will get easier not to worry as much once you get through the first trimester, see an ultrasound, and start growing and feeling the baby move. In the meantime, try to relax and not consume yourself with things you can't control. Good luck!
Thanks ladies, this community is so great, like instant support. I can't wait for the first time I feel the baby move. I think il cry! Until then I am going to say 'I am pregnant'
A little off topic, but this inspired me to look up local yoga classes. The one closest to home is on Fridays from 6-7:15, AKA dinner time. Do not get in between my dinner plate and me. Worst timing EVER.
Hahaha yes food all the way. I'm finding it really difficult to eat well over he Christmas period as we are staying with my mum for a week. I am going to eat loads of veg on Christmas Day.
I like the yoga idea too. I've found somewhere that specifically does pregnancy yoga but only from 13 weeks onwards.
This time around I'm not letting myself get too excited (3 mc last year). I'm looking at each step (ie, week, dr apt, good test results, etc... ) as one step closer. Or goal is to make it to mid-second trimester then we can breathe easier.
We aren't saying we are pregnant till the 2 trimester only that we have positive tests.
It may sound weird to be that disconnected during the first trimester but the first three times i was totally crushed. We were buying cloths, picking names and all the fun planning stuff. We told everyone by 8 weeks when we got a good heartbeat so it was so painful to have to "take it back".
I'm in the same boat. First pregnancy so the loss of control (which is extremely important to me) has been a challenge. I like what marathonhiker said "today you are pregnant." I just take that as my mindfulness mantra. I take some time (just a bit) out of everyday and sit alone with the thought that this is something that is happening, I let the joy do all its good work and then go about my normal day-to-day. Appreciation. I suffer from anxiety, I'd say more than the average amount, so I'm vigilant in not letting that define me, especially now.
Worrying never stopped anything bad from happening. It just makes it harder to enjoy the good, however brief a time you may have it. I try to accept my worry and move past it, because it isn't a productive feeling past a certain point and can really limit your ability to enjoy what positive things you can experience. I've see moms spend their pregnancies as basket cases, only at the end to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of things there is to worry about once the baby is born. They end up even more anxious and unable to take much joy out of this amazing time in their lives because of all the worry.
Fact is, some of us will have poor outcomes even if we do everything "right." Worrying will never prevent nor attract bad outcomes, but it can make the time we spend pregnant that much harder. It doesn't help that we are bombarded with things everyone else tells us to worry about, but I find making a conscious choice to worry less has helped.
~ K.
PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone.
Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss.
Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17 Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.
I am too a first time mom. 6 weeks today and I am right there with you. It is so hard not to worry! BUT worrying won't change a thing. I am just trying to breath and enjoy this time and trust that everything will work out as it suppose to! Congratulations!!
Keep busy! Also, I find it illogical to worry about things I cannot change. So I just don't dwell upon it. If bad stuff happens, I will deal with it then.
Completely with u, worry about everything. Try not to but can't help it. Keep trying to just breathe and relax. I found out 11th December and not seeing the midwife until 20th January. It seems such a long time to wait without knowing of everything is ok. Any tips most welcome.
@SeaParrot is everything settling down for you? It sounded like you had some scares a few days ago.
it's iffy. My hCG is pretty much at the bottoms of the range, but it did double appropriately. I'm having another draw on Monday. Because of the low numbers and bleeding, an ectopic is a concern so I'm supposed to go to emerg if it starts again. But things could just be earlier than we thought and I may have just bled due to the low hCG (decidual bleeding.) Only time will tell, so I'm just taking my progesterone and hoping. Whatever will happen, there's nothing I can do to change it.
~ K.
PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone.
Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss.
Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17 Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.
It's incredibly hard to try not to worry. I can relate, @SivanG. My H and I TTC for 2.5 years and suffered a loss in that time. It's so hard not to worry, but I'm taking it one step at a time. First, I wanted to see that my first betas were higher than last time. Then, I wanted to see that they're doubling. Yesterday, we had our first u/s and got to see a heartbeat. Each step is a big milestone, and I'm pretty much just living from milestone to milestone at this point.
TTC since July 2012 BFP 5/22/13. Lap. to remove ectopic and dx with endo. 6/16/13
RE consult: June 2014
DX: FVL, endo, hypothyroidism, blocked left tube
Oct. 2014: First treatment cycle: Clomid+trigger+IUI=BFN
I worry every day. We had a miscarriage two years ago and we are finally pregnant again. But I told my husband the day we found out that I was going to enjoy every single second of this one. Granted, that was before the real morning sickness kicked in, but in all seriousness, when I need to relax I fill my bathtub and put lavender ad peppermint oil in it and soak for an hour. It does wonders for my nerves and the morning sickness.
my first pregnancy, now at 5 weeks. the worrying symptoms kicked in today. partly because of the festivities and the nausea, headaches, sore bb lessened. so glad others on same boat
The worry -- like the exhaustion and lack of sleep -- prepares us for motherhood! But honestly, last time I had so many complications and was in the MFM office so much, I had to embrace the fact that worry does nothing for us. I can take care of myself, and I can try to rest as much as possible - but other than that, it's just not up to me. For those that pray, this is what I'd reread as needed: Who of you by worrying can add a single minute to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? (Luke 12:25-26)
Re: How do you cope with the worrying?
You're not alone. All I can say is try not to let your mind be consumed with negative thoughts, but its normal; welcome to motherhood....I worried all the way up until the day DD was born and then some!
I hope you find someway to help yourself relax.
Thank you for your response. You're right I need to find a way of relaxing. Maybe I need to take up yoga! It's just the unknown that is so scary, and I'm a first time mum and I had no idea if this was normal. It's reassuring in a way to know it's not just me.
It will get easier not to worry as much once you get through the first trimester, see an ultrasound, and start growing and feeling the baby move. In the meantime, try to relax and not consume yourself with things you can't control. Good luck!
A little off topic, but this inspired me to look up local yoga classes. The one closest to home is on Fridays from 6-7:15, AKA dinner time. Do not get in between my dinner plate and me. Worst timing EVER.
I like the yoga idea too. I've found somewhere that specifically does pregnancy yoga but only from 13 weeks onwards.
This time around I'm not letting myself get too excited (3 mc last year). I'm looking at each step (ie, week, dr apt, good test results, etc... ) as one step closer. Or goal is to make it to mid-second trimester then we can breathe easier.
We aren't saying we are pregnant till the 2 trimester only that we have positive tests.
It may sound weird to be that disconnected during the first trimester but the first three times i was totally crushed. We were buying cloths, picking names and all the fun planning stuff. We told everyone by 8 weeks when we got a good heartbeat so it was so painful to have to "take it back".
PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone. Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss. Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17 Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.
Also, I find it illogical to worry about things I cannot change. So I just don't dwell upon it. If bad stuff happens, I will deal with it then.
it's iffy. My hCG is pretty much at the bottoms of the range, but it did double appropriately. I'm having another draw on Monday. Because of the low numbers and bleeding, an ectopic is a concern so I'm supposed to go to emerg if it starts again. But things could just be earlier than we thought and I may have just bled due to the low hCG (decidual bleeding.) Only time will tell, so I'm just taking my progesterone and hoping. Whatever will happen, there's nothing I can do to change it.
PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone. Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss. Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17 Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.
It's full of worry and doubt! But yes, I'm terrified of a miscarriage! Just leaving it up to the Lord!
TTC since July 2012
BFP 5/22/13. Lap. to remove ectopic and dx with endo. 6/16/13
RE consult: June 2014
DX: FVL, endo, hypothyroidism, blocked left tube
Oct. 2014: First treatment cycle: Clomid+trigger+IUI=BFN
November 2014: Clomid+trigger+IUI again=BFP!
BFP 11/28/14 MC discovered 1/14/15
Blogging to stay sane
so glad others on same boat