Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
KayteeGee
member
Re: Why aren't there "Mom coaches?"
I am seriously going to talk to DH about this tonight. It would be remote - email/phone/skype - but I think it could help...... ??
And I feel like I could've written this ... The discipline part is so hard for me. I feel like I'm creating a monster though
I did see on some reality tv show a rich couple hiring a baby sleep consultant. Of course, that was in LA so I'm not sure that service is widely available elsewhere.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
We have had people who only qualify for one visit (anyone who asks qualifies for one visit) or who feel like they don't need non profit services day they'd love to pay for the service, but our agency isn't set up for it. I'd love to see someone try it as a business but having administrated the services, I can say that it would be a huge amount of work - at least 60-80hrs a week for one person to get it off the ground. But that's any new small business.
Parents as Teachers provides prenatal care and then can help with parenting stuff and they're all over the country, but I know their programs vary a lot in terms of who gets services (they have a lot of sleep info and potty training tools in addition to the read to your baby stuff they're known for).
I don't think there is ONE person who can be an expert in everything having to do with child rearing but I think we can build a pool of resources that we can turn to within our community. Mine consists of our pediatrician, the lactation consultant who lead our weekly support classes (I attended these while on maternity leave), DD's teachers who are very experienced at dealing with behavioral issues and always willing to offer advice and support, and finally my friends and family...as well as the moms on this board!
When I had questions about DD's sleep I asked our pedi for advice as well as asked my lactation consultant if she had a referral (she did!). And I find that I learn a lot of tricks by observing DD's grandmothers as well as my mom friends. I have asked them many times how they have handled a certain situation.
I am not a natural when it comes to motherhood. My instincts can only get me so far. I, too, don't have time to read umpteen books, often that will contradict one another. I too need infomration and to learn skills and tools that will making parenting easier. I prefer to get multiple perspective and choose the approach that makes most sense to me than to follow one person's view of the world.
I don't... It is what it is.
I think, though, you miss my point.... I want someone who can help guide me and add perspective to that which I get from pedi etc...
I don't plan on blindly following one person's view of the world. I just want another perspective (like you say you want) but one that's fully informed about a lot of different strategies.
I think of it as someone who can "curate" all the parenting info that's out there and help distill it into something that is acitonable in my life.
And I need a lot more help than a pedi visit.
For clarity: I'm thinking like you hire a personal trainer to help build a diet and fitness plan and coach you through it. Sure, I could read a bunch of books or just ask friends and family what they do, but I don't really have that time and I like the idea of someone who's formally educated about it... If that makes sense?
I have a great network but it's just non mom centric. Only a few of my friends have kids. Most are older. No sisters, no aunts, grandmas have passed on, mom is thousands of miles away, MIL in another country. So the "village" some have, well I don't have it.
It's all good. I know I "outsource" a lot. I like expert strangers perspectives.
Anyway - I've connected with someone at the site my friend told me about and I'm super excited to have a pro there to coach me.