Sleep deprivation at its best

CandEChicago · December 2014

Ok...let's share our sleep deprivation stories and have a good laugh.

Edit: DH, SO, etc are fair game.

CandEChicago · December 2014

LO woke up at 3am and I pulled him from the bassinet. When I turned back to the bed DH was sitting up right trying to rock & soothe the "baby" in his arms.

rshamos · December 2014

MH woke me panicked bc he thought I forgot to feed the baby. No, he just slept through the session an hour before.

LinziLoo09 · December 2014

The bassinet is on DH's side of the bed, so after I'm done nursing, he arranges the swaddle blanket in the bassinet for me to lay LO in and scoots over so I can lay her down. Two nights ago, I woke him up so I could put her in the bassinet, and he reaches to pick up a picture frame on the bedside table and tries to hand it to me...not remotely what I was requesting.

Apparently I've been regularly speaking nonsense at night though after he changes her diaper and tries to hand her off to me for feeding. We're no longer functional.

BayCamp · December 2014

I mixed up my shampoo and face wash yesterday. My face wash has those gritty things in it and no matter how much I rinsed I still feel like there is sand on my scalp.

ColeyCannoli · December 2014

I have washed my hair with body wash a few times and today DH put on two pairs of underwear and somehow forgot pants... 3 weeks down...

kwikwi8181 · December 2014

Wow...You guys all have such entertaining stories...I just end up having emotional meltdowns and cry for awhile every few days from lack of sleep.

CandEChicago · December 2014

I managed to get a couple of naps.

Nap #1 - wake up to holding the pillow in my arm like I am holding a baby.

Nap #2 - DH woke me up telling me that he was nearly done with baking and wanted to give me a chance to become functional before he walked the dog. I was convinced that he left the LO with me...and even felt the blankets move. I frantically started to look for LO in the blankets and called out to DH asking him to help me find LO. DH was very confused since LO was with him in the kitchen.

DoctorWorm222 · December 2014

After DD#1 was born, DH had episodes at night where he'd become convinced that LO was in our bed, trapped in the covers. During one of the worst nights, I woke up to find him trying to rock the dog in his arms. This dog is a 70lb lab mix. I wish I had this on tape bc the look on Kiwi dog's face was priceless. And DH looked right at me and said "you have to help me carry the baby back to bed. She's too heavy." Can't wait to see what madness will ensue this time

gdaniels77 · December 2014

DH woke up a couple of nights ago while I was feeding LO and reached into the cosleeper to pick her up and rock her because apparently he thought she was fussing, started panicking and feeling everywhere in it for her and looked right at me (she was in my arms nursing) and asked frantically where she was.

AbsolutelyAyrianna · December 2014

Ugh, i'm so jealous. All your DHs' sleep deprivation shows they're actually helping with the baby and other stuff instead of using the "well-i-pay-the-bills" line bullshit.

As for me, I just get crabby and snappy at DD1

brookey79 · December 2014

So far, DH came home and pointed out I had my jeans on backwards. Also put a wet diaper back on the LO and only realized it when I saw the clean diaper still on the change table. Boo for sleep deprivation!

kimmyshmimmy · December 2014

These stories are hilarious! DH and I didn't have anything like this happen to us with DS#1 but when this LO comes, we may find ourselves more sleep deprived so I hope to have some stories to share within a couple of weeks

thanks again ladies!

gdaniels77 · December 2014

Momtobe85 said:
Our first night home, DH fell asleep on the floor next to DS's crib after putting him down after a long screaming fest. DH was so tired he didn't hear LO wailing and I came to grab him to feed him. DH woke up as I was getting him, glanced at us, and started screaming bloody murder at us. I couldn't understand what he was even saying at first but after a few moments and DH frantically trying to take DS out of my arms, I realized DH kept saying "his head is falling off!!!" He saw LO's feet dangling a bit as I was cradling him but thought they were his head....now at least a few times a day I tell DH that our baby's head is falling off

This one just had me laughing hysterically... Maybe that's my own sleep deprivation setting in?

Cadg0986 · December 2014

I woke DH up the other night to have him change LO so I could go to the bathroom quick and he reached down under the night stand and said he couldn't get her. Lol. There was nothing under there and LO was in her bassinet on my side of the bed. I had to specifically say. "DH, you need to wake up, LO is in her bassinet...you need to sit up and wake up so I can pass her to you." He finally woke up then and stopped reaching down into the night stand haha.

Beevol · December 2014

The other night, I woke up draped over the bassinet holding the binky in DD's mouth (I use it while I change her diaper at night to keep the noise level down so I don't wake my toddler ). I was completely disoriented until I realized that I was supposed to feed her not just attempt to soothe her in my sleep.

Kim0710 · December 2014

I answered the door today with my boob hanging out of my nursing tank. I never snapped it after my last feed. Thank god it was only my SIL and she totally understood!!

xc1148 · December 2014

3purpleroses said:

Does DH count? Today when we went about to go to Target, he got in the car, looked down, and realized he was still wearing his slippers.

I did this on my way to work....2 years ago....before I had a child....on 8 hours of sleep....and didn't realize it until i was 2 streets down.

$:\$ ">

rshamos · December 2014

Tonight, I woke up thinking I had the baby in my arms. I panicked bc he wasn't there. What was I holding and lovingly stroking? My stomach fat roll. LO was asleep in the bassinet next to me.

arynras · December 2014

SO has to wear ear plugs at work. I opened the freezer yesterday and a bushel of ear plugs fell out. Sleep deprivation is the only logical reason I can think of to stuff a bunch of ear plugs in the freezer.

ladybug480 · December 2014

I have 100% done the thing where I think I'm holding LO in bed with me, but I'm just holding and rocking a pillow. The first time, I was soothing the pillow and baby started crying in her bassinet, so I stood up and started swinging and swaying with the pillow, since I was hearing the baby cry. I remember looking down into the bassinet thinking "wait, if she's down there, who in the hell am I holding?!"

LinziLoo09 · December 2014

Last night I was nursing DD in the dark, and my arm was cradled around her head and down the middle of her back (so I could only see the right side of her body). I started feeling a creepy clammy hand grabbing at my side under my arm, and I totally freaked (picturing a creepy possessed child like in The Ring or The Grudge). I couldn't see what was going on because my arm was in the way, so I had to reach back with my other hand only to discover DD's baby hand holding my side. I was ready to attack though!

milylove143 · December 2014

I totally tried to nurse my dog instead of DD. Lol gotta love those late night/early morning feedings.

agsgrrl · December 2014

While I was in the hospital they had us keep a log of all the feedings and diaper changes and I guess I was pretty sleepy last night because I wrote that she had a dirty diaper at 4:200 this morning.

ColeyCannoli · December 2014

At 4AM I tried very hard to nurse my baby through my shirt. Both of us were very frustrated until I figured out how dumb I was being.

nwsnowbunny · December 2014

RN536 said:
I just wake up in the middle of the night thinking that I am nursing. Then I realize baby is not in my arms and i freak out for a second until I realize he is asleep in the bassinet. It takes me a few minutes to figure out what time I fed him last and to remember actually putting him back to sleep.

This is so me. I hate that freak out feeling!

kelsz12 · December 2014

This morning I went to pump after feeding LO, got everything hooked up and started pumping. Something was leaking on my leg and I couldn't figure out what--I forgot to screw a storage bottle onto the shield so I was pumping milk all over my leg.

LinziLoo09 · December 2014

ColeyCannoli said:

At 4AM I tried very hard to nurse my baby through my shirt. Both of us were very frustrated until I figured out how dumb I was being.

This made me LOL. I haven't done this yet, but I'm sure it's coming.

knight1983 · December 2014

We were home a week and I was a walking zombie. Got up for the third feed in the night as my lovely son decided to cluster feed at 3 in the morning...I thought I was winding him and my husband looks over and starts laughing, I was patting the top of his head instead!

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