What would you do...

CMSullivan326 · December 2014

Ok, so I just found out DH spent a LOT of money on something for Christmas that I don't want at all and won't use. I then found out he got this particular gift instead of something I said over & over that I wanted & would get a LOT of use out of....

I actually went in the room & cried (without him knowing). I know I'm emotional because I'm pregnant. I'm not upset about not getting what I wanted, I'm honestly pissed that he spent so much on something he KNOWS isn't "me" & really didn't think it through. I feel like such a horrible person....

What would you ladies do if you found out your SO did something like this?

CMSullivan326 · December 2014

jenniebird327 said:
Is there a possibility you could return it without starting anything?

I don't have the receipt & the place he got it from requires one...

Nikelizabeth · December 2014

I don't know what the gift is, but maybe say something is wrong with the item and ask for the receipt to exchange it for one that works, then say they didn't have any in stock and get something else... That's what I would do

leenziepops · December 2014

I would just be honest and tell him as nicely as possible. Something with the mix of ... thanks for trying to surprise me...you are so sweet.. but... i would prefer...

Trampslikeus · December 2014

My dad used to do this to my mom. It took him like 20 years to finally learn. She'd ask for something practical, because she's a practical person, and he'd go buy her some ugly overpriced jewelry because that's what he thinks men are supposed to do, and the evil women at Kay certainly know a sucker when they see one.

She tried to be nice but eventually she had to get real with him. It led to an awkward Christmas one year with my dad having hurt feelings, but then they established a new rule that my dad is NOT allowed to buy presents for my mom without me or one of my siblings approving first.... aka NO MORE MALL JEWELRY!!!

Its all been fine since. So, basically what I'm saying is, if you want him to return it, and you don't want this to become an annual event, have an awkward conversation with him now and do something sweet to make up for the hurt feelings. Maybe go return it together and then go to your favorite restaurant.

Bednarova · December 2014

I've asked DH to return/exchange jewelry before, bc he's bought things that were so far in left field from my normal minimal/low key style.

How he bought the perfect engagement ring for me still confuses me given subsequent jewelry attempts.

As far as other items, I've generally stayed pretty quiet. He can usually tell though.

any chance that you can say the gift he got you is far to $$$ and ask him to return it for something more practical like the gift you actually want? only works if the gift you want is less expensive.

schroead · December 2014

@JimBobCooter‌ I'm in the same boat. My DH is convinced I want a tablet, despite me being very clear that I don't. I hope to God he doesn't buy me a tablet.

starkbaby22 · December 2014

My H is good at gifts, but one year bought me these ugly earrings (expensive). I had to flat out tell him that I appreciated the thought and the gesture, but that I simply didn't see myself wearing them. He was fine and we exchanged them for a pair that we both liked. It's hard, but I'm sure if you just come from a sincere point of view, he'll be okay and understand.

beckynsean11 · December 2014

@CMSullivan326 Holy crap lady! Is that you?!? How did I not know you were KU?

also, I love what tramps said.

CYBURRCHIC · December 2014

Are you sure or maybe he is trying to get you to think he got the thing you don't want to throw you off? I am just being hopeful!

poppyc8 · December 2014

JimBobCooter said:
I would expect it. Every year I tell him explicitly what I want and he tells me those aren't good Christmas gifts and then buys me things I don't want and won't use. I've given up.

Eh me too!!!

sideboth · December 2014

My DH is the worst gift giver ever. He would love it if I would just accept some gashly jewelry. One Christmas, after years of horrible gifts, I went to the store and picked out a robe for myself. I picked a neutral color because he likes to "borrow" my stuff. I showed DH and figure that was that. One C-day, I open up my present...neutral robe...nope. HOT PINK robe. I looked at him and said how in god's name did you screw this up...He said...I thought you would like this one better.

For the next year, I got to watch my husband go around the house in my hot pink robe while I seethed. I finally "lost" the thing and put a kaboosh on Christmas presents. I now just buy my own gifts and appreciate the man for his other good characteristics.

jamieswifeyforlifey · December 2014

If it makes you feel better, I'm about 80% sure my DH bought me a dildo (as a gag gift, but still...). If it is, I'm definitely regifting it for him next year. Hahaha
In all seriousness, it's really too bad your DH wasn't considerate of your requests for Christmas. But let's face it, men aren't always the most considerate creatures on the planet. It may hurt his feelings if you don't appreciate the effort he tried to put into your gift. If you must approach him about it, try to be delicate. Who knows, he may be really understanding! I hope it's not worth potentially ruining your holidays. Try to make the best of it, at least it's not a dildo. Lol

beckynsean11 · December 2014

jamieswifeyforlifey said:

If it makes you feel better, I'm about 80% sure my DH bought me a dildo (as a gag gift, but still...). If it is, I'm definitely regifting it for him next year. Hahaha In all seriousness, it's really too bad your DH wasn't considerate of your requests for Christmas. But let's face it, men aren't always the most considerate creatures on the planet. It may hurt his feelings if you don't appreciate the effort he tried to put into your gift. If you must approach him about it, try to be delicate. Who knows, he may be really understanding! I hope it's not worth potentially ruining your holidays. Try to make the best of it, at least it's not a dildo. Lol

Lol, did we marry the same guy? MH got my vibrators, nice vibes but still, as a gag wedding present.

jamieswifeyforlifey · December 2014

@beckynsean11‌, what is up with that, I never realized dildos/vibrators were go-to gift ideas... Lol
It's the thought that counts, right? :-bd

C6091 · December 2014

I understand you are emotional hun, I'm sure he meant well. Talk it over in a calm way. Explain to him your feelings & that you think that amount of money would be better spent on something you would use, try and make him see your point of view then he may not take it as a rejection of his gift and be more understanding. Good luck

beckynsean11 · December 2014

jamieswifeyforlifey said:

@beckynsean11‌, what is up with that, I never realized dildos/vibrators were go-to gift ideas... Lol It's the thought that counts, right? :-bd

@jamieswifeyforlifey I mean at least it's something I've gotten some great use out of, lol. There are definitely worse gifts.

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