WWYD? (NCDR)

Guennie · December 2014

We know a couple who had a baby 6 months after we did and we are "friends" on fb but not actually friends in rl. (Meaning we are more just acquaintances.) The other day the mom posted a picture of her baby in her new car seat and she totally had her strapped in wrong. My h said not to say anything because I would come off as being holier than thou. I said this is about the safety of a child, how can I not say anything?? I decided to just post a general reminder to "all my friends with little ones" about making sure they were properly strapping them in. I thought maybe that was a good way to address the problem without actually singling her out...?

Guennie · December 2014

I'm really not sure how she would take it. I guess I thought she might be more open to seeing she was doing something wrong if she just saw it in a random post rather than being told by someone she doesn't know very well. I sort of agonized over this last night.

Nvywife · December 2014

This happened about 5 years ago but still makes me shake my head. My husbands uncle has a child a year younger than ours. I came home for a visit from out of state and realized their baby was way over the weight limit on his seat. I informed MIL and together we purchased a new seat for little man, I even installed it correctly. Then showed the uncle in law how to instal it. The very next day he shows up driving a different vehicle with little man back in the infant seat strapped in with a seat belt. Sometimes people just don't understand safety, or fail to see the importance. I let MIL handle the remainder of the situation. Hopefully the audience your trying to reach isn't so dense.

TJ1979 · December 2014

I would say something. And state it as a fact, not a judgment. Just "hey, csftl (or name your citation of choice with a link) says that seat should be buckled like xyz." The end.
Y'all are acquaintances, who cares if she thinks you are holier than thou.

PipSqueak0313 · December 2014

mamalamb10 said:

@Nvywife‌ I know people like that and I just want to smack them! I actually have a "friend" who doesn't believe car seats expire. Her H convinced her to get rid of an expired seat by telling her it's illegal but she even tried to argue that. I'm a strong believer hospitals should have trained techs on staff and parents should have training on proper use of car seats before being released to go home.

yeah, it would be nice if the nurses that assist you with loading up and getting out to your car knew how to install car seats....I had ds2's car seat installed correctly behind the driver's seat for reasons I won't go into and the discharging nurse undid it and installed it incorrectly in the middle position. Since we were leaving in a blizzard and dh didn't know anything about installing the carseat the error wasn't noticed until after we made it home.

Critter015 · December 2014

I have so many friends doing this, or turning their 10 month old front facing in a seat that is sitting crooked and looks horribly unsafe! I usually just do a reminder with a link showing proper carseat use. One friend had her baby FF way early in a pickup and I realized their backseat is the same as mine and their seat won't properly install RF in that truck anyway. (We tried every seat at BRU and the only brand that had a base depth that fit on the seat properly was Britax.)
Our pedi does mention carseat safety at every appointment ie. when to switch from the infant seat, RF until age 2, no puffy coats, etc.

TJ1979 · December 2014

Or act dumb and say "oh, I thought you were supposed to buckle it like so..." Then list off the correct points to buckling in LO.

Nvywife · December 2014

I would be really upset if someone installed our seat improperly. @PipSqueak0313‌

Into+the+Kitty · December 2014

I would send a PM.

I have sent a PM to an acquaintance mom who was wearing her baby in a severely dangerous way, chin to chest and slouched below her belly button. I would much rather someone think I'm rude (which she didn't) than find out that something happened to a baby based on the ignorance of the parents when I knew something was dangerous.

I also kind of did the compliment sandwich format. Like, 'Hey, saw all the new pics you posted, your baby is so adorable! I noticed that in the one picture with the baby carrier he was hanging a little low. I know babywearing for me was a bit of a learning curve, this link helped me figure out how to use my ring sling (included link with safety and technique). You look like you're adjusting to mommyhood so well, your kid looks so happy in all the pictures you post.' Or some shit.

ComeMai · December 2014

I tried to tell my BFF that she had her daughter strapped in the infant seat incorrectly and she cut me off and said doing it the correct way was uncomfortable for the baby. We've been friends since we were 3 yrs old. I hope someone else has the courage to tell her. Some people are just too stubborn to listen. :-(

Into+the+Kitty · December 2014

ComeMai said:

I tried to tell my BFF that she had her daughter strapped in the infant seat incorrectly and she cut me off and said doing it the correct way was uncomfortable for the baby. We've been friends since we were 3 yrs old. I hope someone else has the courage to tell her. Some people are just too stubborn to listen. :-(

Also, this is when I'm a bitch IRL like behind my iPad and would have cut her off right back with, 'Probably a lot more comfortable than being dead!'

PipSqueak0313 · December 2014

mamalamb10 said:

mamalamb10 said:

@Nvywife‌ I know people like that and I just want to smack them! I actually have a "friend" who doesn't believe car seats expire. Her H convinced her to get rid of an expired seat by telling her it's illegal but she even tried to argue that. I'm a strong believer hospitals should have trained techs on staff and parents should have training on proper use of car seats before being released to go home.

yeah, it would be nice if the nurses that assist you with loading up and getting out to your car knew how to install car seats....I had ds2's car seat installed correctly behind the driver's seat for reasons I won't go into and the discharging nurse undid it and installed it incorrectly in the middle position. Since we were leaving in a blizzard and dh didn't know anything about installing the carseat the error wasn't noticed until after we made it home.
I might have punched that nurse! And you have a PM.

Yeah, I probably would have if we hadn't made it home safely since I haven't seen that nurse since then and have no intention of getting pg and therefore no intention of delivering another baby at that hospital so no reason to see l&d/post partum nursing staff. I am mad enough at the hospital for the way they handled a lot of stuff related to ds2 during his first month that we won't go there for medical care again. Btw @mamalamb10‌ return pm sent.

haileyq · December 2014

Gah! My old BFF from high school recently posted an old pic of her son when he was 2 1/2 strapped in with a loose, crooked, janky looking chest strap, a puffy coat, and chocolate milk in a bottle to top it off.

Guennie · December 2014

I don't understand people who won't take the time to make sure they are using the car seat properly. I really don't. It's not that hard, and the whole point of using a car seat is to keep your kid safe so why wouldn't you do it right? I suppose a lot of it is ignorance, I really hope it isn't laziness because if you're too lazy to protect your child you shouldn't have one.

I posted a photo asking all my mama friends to please please make sure they were strapping in correctly. Hopefully she will see it and realize her errors.

Rrrrrachel · December 2014

Anytime I've said something directly it's gone really poorly.

freezorburn · December 2014

People make mistakes. I did. We started off with a used carseat and after I cleaned it I didn't realize that I had re-threaded the shoulder straps incorrectly. In fact, I think I re-threaded it in the same way that it came to us. But, it seemed kind of off the first couple of times we strapped DS in, and DH took it apart and figured out what was wrong. Thankfully no harm came to DS and we figured out the problem quickly. Lesson learned.

I'm sure if anyone would have said anything to me in person I would have taken it just fine. As an exhausted and overwhelmed FTM I would have been grateful for the help and concern.

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