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September 2014 Moms
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Annoying napper and an even more annoying Husband.

Ivorytower2Ivorytower2 member
in September 2014 Moms
LO sleeps great at night in the RNP, but has always been a horrible napper. I have to rock her to sleep and she'll sleep maybe 40 minutes after that. Her only long naps are in the Ergo or being held. DH thinks she's getting dependent on being held, and that we should let her CIO at 12 weeks old. He's constantly on my case for spoiling her and not teaching her to be a better napper.

While this does concern me with daycare in the near future (can't expect the daycare to wear her in the ergo 4 hours a day) I would never ever let her CIO this young. I think she just needs more time and maturity to get better at napping independently.

In the meantime, what can I do to help her nap and how can I explain to DH that letting a baby this young CIO is wrong and will probably hurt her development in the long run.
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Re: Annoying napper and an even more annoying Husband.

  • barbiedoesbabybarbiedoesbaby member
    This. I have no advice because my DH is the same way. We have gotten in several fights over it so I am looking for recommendations as well!!! Hope it gets better for you!
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  • Tch4lfeTch4lfe member
    Following this post as well!!! Help us!!
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  • rose913rose913 member
    40 doesn't seem like a bad nap to me. The average sleep cycle for a baby is 40-45 mins but can be as short as 30 mins, every kid is different. My LO takes 3-4 naps a day and they last anywhere from 20 mins to 2 hours. Longer naps tend to fall into place at like 5 or 6 months when they learn to selfsooth and you can sleep train, if you choose to.

    I used to think my LO wasn't a good napper until I started paying more attention to the time she is awake and less on the time she is asleep. I only let her stay up a hour and a half from the time she wakes up after every nap. Sometimes if her naps are shorter she will take 4 maybe even more naps in the day.

    While I agree with you that letting your LO CIO isn't the way to go, you do need to give her the chance to learn to selfsooth. Letting her sleep on you often doesn't give her the chance to learn to stay asleep on her own.

    The more she got used to sleeping alone in her bed the longer my DD has been napping.
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  • RedBaramidRedBaramid member
    There is a difference between CIO and letting them fuss down a bit.  DH and I let her fuss for up to 10 minutes as long as she doesn't break out into a full cry.  No matter how long she has going a full cry means we drop what we can and go to her. There was one night where we let our little one fuss for almost the full ten minutes and decided  to go get her, and then as we got to her room she was out. Listen to your baby, learn the difference between a fuss that may calm down, and a cry that won't. 
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  • mana8503mana8503 member
    Lo will only nap in the swing. After I feed her, I put her in it. I know pretty quickly if she's gonna sleep or not. Usually she'll stare at the mobile and fall asleep. If she cries (more than fuss), it's not going to happen. We go to the rocking chair to see if she'll fall asleep there.

    I agree 40 mins is good. Our Naps are anywhere between 30 mins and 3 hours. Some days she cat naps all day, some days she only takes 1 big one.
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014
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  • MLE_C2BMLE_C2B member
    I'm not sure what exactly constitutes a CIO but I'm in the school that if you never let a baby cry then they never learn to console themselves. 12 weeks is old enough that they start being little manipulators, don't you see that yet? That to me is the key to start watching for the fake BS real cries. I let LO fuss and cry a bit and usually he gives up. If not then no I don't let him CIO very long. I pick him up calm him down and start over. Now he's starting to find his fist and grab his lovie and soothe himself a bit. I suggest a compromise of CIO training. Try letting LO find how she can calm herself but know that you're still on her team.
    Lilypie - (JLjB)


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  • MLE_C2BMLE_C2B member
    Also what I mean by manipulation: DS1 used to fake choke because he figured out that when he made that noise I came running faster. He was only 8 wks. DS2 just has a really obvious fake cry and will sometimes giggle when I call him out on it.
    Lilypie - (JLjB)


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  • HorseLover11HorseLover11 member
    I also agree with letting them fuss a little while - crying is a different thing. I finally came to terms that most of our naps start with some fussing - the later the day the longer the fussing before she passes out. By doing this I think she's really gotten the hang of self soothing with her fists and thumbs. Our lo is different as she loves to be held she's not the type who can easily take naps on your lap.

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  • Ivorytower2Ivorytower2 member
    edited December 2014
    Thanks for the suggestions and sorry to everyone else going through this. While LO will self soothe back to sleep after MOTN feedings, at nap time she'll go from fussing to all out screaming in less than a minute. She'll work herself into an absolute tizzy and it will take even longer to get her back in a sleepy state. Hoping she'll just outgrow this, but I also bought a mobile projector so hoping that might help as well.
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  • Ivorytower2Ivorytower2 member
    Also good to know that 45 minutes is still a somewhat decent nap. It does make me confused when trying to follow the EASY schedule, however.
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  • VavavictoriaVavavictoria member
    Ivorytower2 said:

    Also good to know that 45 minutes is still a somewhat decent nap. It does make me confused when trying to follow the EASY schedule, however.

    I feel the same way too since mine is a fan of the 45 minute nap as well. I just figure she has to eat more often. Our cycles end up being about 2 to 3 hours depending on how long she stays awake. As she gets older they are stretching out a bit longer. And lately she has been sleeping longer stretches at night so if that's what it takes to sleep more at night I am totally happy to feed as often as she wants.
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  • rose913rose913 member
    Ivorytower2 said:

    Also good to know that 45 minutes is still a somewhat decent nap. It does make me confused when trying to follow the EASY schedule, however.

    I think you should follow a schedule that works for your baby, not one written by someone else. You will never have any control over when your baby is hungry, tired or how long they will sleep, so I think trying to follow a schedule like EASY would just stress me out.

    With that said, you can follow the EASY schedule but just adjust the times to your baby's needs, instead of trying to adjust your baby to fit a schedule.
    BabyFruit Ticker
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