Breastfeeding in front of dad/grandpas or extended family

SherryBaby2014 · December 2014

Just curious since the holidays are in effect and a lot of people will be around family, how many of you breastfeed in front of family/friends?

I think I've fully decided that my boobs are now food. I haven't' BF full out in public but anytime someone's visited me I think, "Eh whatever, they're boobs." By full out I mean no cover. Plus DD is using nipple shields still so there isn't much modesty getting those all situated. I thought I would be more shy around dad/FIL but I guess not.

Not sure what I'll think being around more extended family. Might be a good excuse for some alone time with DD.

kareik01 · December 2014

I've nursed and pumped in front of both my parents before. My mom didn't breastfeed any of us, so I thought they'd think it was awkward and ask me to do it in private. But my mom gets right up close and watches DD nurse now! It was kind of weird the first time, but now I know she's just so happy I EBF while working full time and loves to see DD eat so well that way.

As for my dad, I just sit on the other side of the room as him so he can't see anything unless he's trying to...which of course he isn't!

Will not feed or pump in front of my brother or BILs though...just too much sharing going on for me with that company!

lookame3639 · December 2014

I used to go to the bathroom while in restaurants or go upstairs in my parents house but it all gets annoying. I'm in the camp now that I'll cover her and myself while getting situated and during feeding. No one seems truly bothered and while at the zoo someone even thanked me for nursing. (Again we were both covered and i couldn't excuse myself to the bathroom for 15 mins for her to eat so i just sat on a bench while everyone else looked around the area)

caybeh · December 2014

I've nursed with a cover in front of my parents. I don't have the same comfort level in front of IL's.

Cat&S · December 2014

I BF in front of both our families, but I pull a light blanket up so that nothing can be seen. I'm more comfortable that way, and I've BFed in public that way as well.

becominggold · December 2014

In front of my mom or sisters I wouldn't care. I use a cover or do a bottle and pump quickly in the other room.

MC03 · December 2014

I nurse without a cover in front of all family. Whole family is very supportive of bf and my sister bf her kids so even BIL is used to it.

dvmmomma · December 2014

I personally like to get away! I have no issues doing it in front of people (strangers are the easiest for me, ILs I usually excuse myself) but it's nice to have quality time with DD and let her calm down a bit from all the hubbub of the holidays and all the new faces.

kaitm22 · December 2014

I try to cover up around my own father but it doesn't always work out, its his problem that it makes him slightly uncomfortable. He just acts sort of weird about it, but we spend a ton of time with my parents and it may be a UO but he needs to get over it. He never sees anything he just acts antsy. I use a cover around my in-laws but of course that is usually when LO decides to be a pain about eating. I am pretty much in the camp of not caring who sees anymore. I try not to be rude, but I am not going to hide myself away either.

Eena1242 · December 2014

dvmmomma said:
I personally like to get away! I have no issues doing it in front of people (strangers are the easiest for me, ILs I usually excuse myself) but it's nice to have quality time with DD and let her calm down a bit from all the hubbub of the holidays and all the new faces.

This for me too.

Unknown · December 2014

This content has been removed.

wandsandwine · December 2014

I will nurse in front of my mom or sister usually with a blanket to cover. They are both very supportive and wouldn't mind no cover but I'm a bit modest. With IL I will excuse myself mostly because I don't like them and will use any chance to get me and LO away.

As for this Christmas I'll go in another room because there will be about 40 people, a lot of teenagers and people I don't know well. Plus I think LO will get WAY to distracted to actually latch

gahorseygal · December 2014

I'll nurse pretty much anywhere (except in front of my boss....that was an awkward lunch). I keep us a bit covered until she is situated and for modesty my clothes keep me well covered and I like to wear scarfs when out to help keep anything from peeking out. My FIL and dad don't really mind and they will leave the room or they just don't look. Unfortunately we won't be around much family at Christmas since LO has RSV and we are avoiding people ATM.

chase16 · December 2014

I nurse in front of anyone anywhere, anytime without a cover. I've never gotten anything but positive reactions from people. "Its so nice to see mothering." I wasn't particularly modest to begin with though. I've showered in a large room with other women (no curtains) in the army more times than I can count. They're just boobs.

lynds002 · December 2014

I nurse with no cover around my mom and sister, and with a cover around everyone else. When the kids are around, I go to another room. Although, I used a cover once around my three year old half brother, and he thought it was hilarious that I put Henry "under my shirt."

rstarrlemaitre · December 2014

I have no problem BFing in front of my female relatives, boobs out or only slightly covered by whatever top I'm wearing/DS's mouth.

For male relatives, I play it by ear... one BIL is totally cool with it, but I wouldn't feel comfortable in front of the other. I nurse in front of my dad, but only if wearing a proper nursing top with a flap (i.e. not boobs completely out).

I would definitely not feel comfortable in front of FIL. It never hurts to ask though! I find most male family/friends have no problem with it, and avert their eyes when needed.

jamjoyful · December 2014

I am pretty open about nursing. I use a cover whenever others are around but they all know that if LO is hungry I'm gonna whip my boob out.

RoccoBabyK · December 2014

I 100% use nursing as an excuse to have peace and quiet with DD while at my IL so I run to another room. I've NIP a few times but get too flustered trying not to flash anyone so usually I just go to the car. DD hates hates hates covers/blankets over her while nursing.

SoSayWeAll · December 2014

I am fine nursing in front of any female. Around my immediate family, I just tell my dad/brothers not to look. DH's friends or family I will use a cover or go in another room. I like going in another room the best because it gets me away from what can be really overwhelming and DS doesn't nurse as well with the cover.

cdseno · December 2014

I cover with an A&A blanket in front of my dad and FIL. I go in a different room if H's grandfather is around by that is usually when the rest of his extended family is there too so I appreciate the break from them. I won't do it in front of my one BIL because, even though my sister is currently BFing, he totally creeps me out.

IceHide61313 · December 2014

I just want to applaud you ladies for keeping it up. I still feel guilty about not being able to/quitting. Sometimes I just want to attach LO just to see if I could make milk again (highly unlikely as I quit just shy of two weeks pp). Keep up the good work!

ungraceful13 · December 2014

I nurse some in front of my male family members. A large family function and I usually go to a different room (comfiest chair) but small family functions or at a restaurant I go for it. I never use a cover bc it's a big hassle.

Elaina22 · December 2014

I nurse without a cover in front of my mom, sister, SIL and girl friends. I use a cover if my brothers are around or my friends' husbands. At the ILs, I go and hide because I can't stand them and it's a wonderful excuse to get away! I will probably have to go into another room with my extended family too because LO is way too distracted these days.

leannerivers · December 2014

In front of my family I'm all boobs out (minus my dad because he isn't around) but my in laws I would Just put a burp rag over my boob or something. Now she is so distracted I have to go into a different room alone.

rovingminstrel · December 2014

I've just decided that if there's a blood-tie anywhere in the relationship, even in-laws, I'll nurse with just my shirts/DS's face covering me. (I'll never use a cover if it's just girls.) We live with DH's brother and his wife, and we both nurse in front of the other's husband. I think they're so used to it they don't even notice! I HATE covers and struggle with positioning enough that a cover makes things SO irritating, lol. But if there's no blood relation, then I'll struggle through the cover. -.- This Christmas, we'll be spending lots of time with my sister and her fiance - not sure what I'll do about that, since I don't know him that well yet. I think I'll just talk to my DH and my sister and see what they think. I can only handle that cover so long before I throw it out the window. :-P

shevaCC · December 2014

I haven't used a cover at all with DS but I'm semi-covered with nursing tank plus shirt. At my own house I nurse openly. My dad and FIL typically go elsewhere when they visit. At ILs house I usually looked for a more private spot out of respect for FIL.

GreenMonkey1 · December 2014

I nurse without a cover in front of my family including my Dad. This is my second so I feel more comfortable latching LO without flashing anyone. With my first I nursed without a cover in front of my female family members, but not Dad or brother. I wear a cover in front of my inlaws. Definitely not the same level of comfort and my MIL has the tendency to tell everyone everything. It would not be unlike her to tell all her friends about the "joy of watching my DIL breastfeed" with decent details.

In public/in front of male friends I use a cover. LO does ok under a cover and it provides some quiet since he is in the distractable eating phase.

And I have absolutely used breastfeeding as a reason to take a break from family gatherings. LO is a great cover story when I need a sanity break.

kareik01 · December 2014

hmctagg01 said:

I never quite mastered the blanket thing. I have a cover that I will use out in public, but family's houses I just go for it. My dad is fine because my mom bf all of us. I think my FIL gets a little awkward about it but he leaves. I think if it makes someone feel awkward that's their deal and they should move, not us. However, I sometimes use it as an excuse at the in laws to get away. At Thanksgiving when the whole extended family was over I went into the other living room because it was quieter and then I wasn't in the main area. I wasn't hiding, but it was just easier than making anyone feel weird (cousin's bfs were there who I don't know very well).
The very first time I nursed in public I was a hot mess. Thank god H was with me. A woman came up to me and I panicked and she basically said good for you for doing it and how she always got weird looks when she bf her kid. I was almost in tears and told her it was my first time and how encouraging that was. I want to say the same thing now to every bf mom I see but I feel like that would be weird to go seek them out lol.

I have only nursed in public once, DD was probably 6-8 weeks old. I was out of bottles so I sat in a chair and pulled out my nursing cover. I was at the mall, so there was really no discrete place to do it, so I was sitting in a chair near the front doors. Only other option was the bathroom and no way was I doing that. Well a patient of mine (60 year old male) from a place I used to work recognized me and come over, sat down across from me and started chatting away with me. The whole time I'm thinking to myself..."does he realize I'm nursing?!" Eventually he asked, "Am I making you uncomfortable?" I said no, just that this was my first time nursing in public and I was hoping I was being discrete. He was very encouraging saying I shouldn't have to be discrete, it's a shame society has a hard time with BF moms (or something along those lines). It was very sweet.

It's nice when people offer support that way!

Russiandea12 · December 2014

I use my cover with anyone other than DH & DD but my FIL still usually leaves the room and my mom has made it known on multiple occasions that it makes her uncomfortable.

courtniko · December 2014

I have nursed with no cover in front of my parents, my MIL, and other women when they were at my house. At MIL's house I would go to a different room, but that was also to get a break from all the people. No one has ever even flinched. I was originally a little awkward in front of my dad, but he was so supportive and made it not awkward.

For Christmas we will have my parents, my brother and SIL, and SIL's parents staying with us for about 5 days. I am not sure how comfortable I will be nursing with no cover with my brothers FIL, but at the same time I don't want to hide in my own house for 5 days every time I nurse. I may just try out a cover or something...

SherryBaby2014 · December 2014

I'm taking my cover along but the few times we've tried it with dd its hit or total miss! Last night I asked DH how much boob he could see so he snapped some photos. Mostly the side boob action was showing. My skin is the same color as her nearly bald head so it looked like two heads on the side! Ha!

herecomesthesun · December 2014

My Mom, sis, and MIL have seen a lot of my boobs but they helped me in the beginning. I BF in front of my family, no big deal. H has asked me to cover up around his family (other than MIL) but they are pretty conservative. I try to be as discreet as LO allows just to be polite to those that are uncomfortable with it- but gosh darn it, I'm feeding my baby!

H's family can be so darn uncomfortable about anything like this. It's not even sexual... but you can imagine how sexual things go over. H has had to relax about all of this since meeting me. I'm just way more open about all of it.

rstarrlemaitre · December 2014

Also, funny story to add. We visited DH"s cousin and her 4 year old son last weekend, and I went in the other room to nurse. 4 yo was curious, so I said as long as his mom didn't mind, I had no problem with him coming in.

He watched the whole thing fascinated, and kept saying "he's so thirsty!" and "he uses the long thing to drink your milk" (the "long thing" was my nipple lol) and "you drink milk, and then it goes into you and through the long thing so he can drink." I just smiled and nodded along to this impromptu anatomy lesson. Hope he doesn't still call nipples 'the long thing" when he starts dating

SherryBaby2014 · December 2014

rstarrlemaitre said:
Also, funny story to add. We visited DH"s cousin and her 4 year old son last weekend, and I went in the other room to nurse. 4 yo was curious, so I said as long as his mom didn't mind, I had no problem with him coming in.

He watched the whole thing fascinated, and kept saying "he's so thirsty!" and "he uses the long thing to drink your milk" (the "long thing" was my nipple lol) and "you drink milk, and then it goes into you and through the long thing so he can drink." I just smiled and nodded along to this impromptu anatomy lesson. Hope he doesn't still call nipples 'the long thing" when he starts dating

Lol great story!

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