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My fiancé doesn't want to know the sex...

Kbchavez23Kbchavez23 member
in June 2015 Moms
I am 15 weeks now, & when we went to our first ultrasound the tech said "it's too soon." I was 13 weeks. So I want to schedule a ultrasound at those places that do the sneak peek thing. BUT my fiancé is throwing a big fit about it and said he doesn't want to know until the baby is born. I just can not do that. So he says I can find out but I can't tell him. I am no good at keeping secrets & then I feel like there's no fun in that.any advice on this situation would be great. I have a daughter from a previous relationship and he has a son from one as well. I just want to know the tie breaker and so I can buy stuff!!! Lol
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Re: My fiancé doesn't want to know the sex...

  • angielayne926angielayne926 member
    Unfortunately, that's only a choice that the two of you can make together.  If you search "team green" you'll get some great stories about some STM's that were team green.  

    With our DS, DH did not want to find out, and I kind of did, but after listening to his reasoning, I knew it was more important for him to not find out than it was for me to find out.  

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  • finchfeeder80finchfeeder80 member
    There are some really great Team Green stories floating around on here. My thinking is, I'll have my whole like to buy the baby clothes, etc. It'll be June, and nice out, and no one really goes anywhere the first couple of weeks. The worst case scenario, you have a bunch of white onesies at the very beginning and you go out and buy something more personal when you're venturing out of your home more. And there are TONS of adorable gender neutral things out there! I'm enjoying being Team Green.

    But ultimately, you two need to have a good discussion and make the decision with each other. We can't tell you what's best for your lives and situation.   
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  • TrampslikeusTrampslikeus member
    Wait for the 20 week ultrasound and discuss it again then. You have 40 weeks of pregnancy, enjoy it for what it is in the moment. Is it really worth fighting and paying for a pointless elective procedure for something you have to just wait a month or so for? He may change his mind at the doctors office during your anatomy scan. Be patient.

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  • KonaCoffeeBeanKonaCoffeeBean member
    Um, it's entirely possible to purchase baby stuff without knowing the sex of your child.
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  • willowprincesswillowprincess member
    KonaCoffeeBean said:
    Um, it's entirely possible to purchase baby stuff without knowing the sex of your child.
    Yes. I've never understood the mentailty that you can't buy anything without knowing the sex. What do they think team green people do? Are you seriously going to buy all pink or all blue items? Doubtful.
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  • sgarmandsgarmand member
    My situation is exactly like @hbanana18 and @angielayne926. My DH wants to know and I was perfectly fine being team green. I think you need to respect your husband's choice, just like he's respecting yours. He said you couldn't find out, just to not tell him. My DH said he was finding out either way, and he could either find out and not tell me or we could find out together. I'm choosing to find out with him. Just hear his reasons and come to an agreement between the two of you.
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  • Kbchavez23Kbchavez23 member
    edited December 2014
    Thanks to the girls who had positive comments! I didn't need any judgement on this. Just trying to see people's opinions. Im very impatient, one of my many flaws. I'm just really excited to find out what we are having.
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  • sscott2111sscott2111 member
    sschwege said:

    If you guys really can't decide, then maybe you give the tech two envelopes, with two sheets of paper.  If the tech is willing, ask him/her to write the sex on one sheet, seal the envelopes, when you get home you burn one and open the other.  If it's blank you wait, if it's written on there you find out.  Seems fair to me!

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  • megmamamegmama member
    I think it is EASIER when you have other kids, to help prepare them for a specific sex (IF they are wishing for one or the other). That is the reason we decided to find out in a week, we want to prepare our daughter (she really wants it to be a girl). That way if it is not the sex your kids are hoping for, you have plenty of time to prepare and get them excited.

    If I was in that position I would make a list of pro's and con's of doing team green vs. find out now, share them with each other and make a decision together. It will be difficult for one of you to know and not the other! 
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  • enjoylifeenjoylife member
    We are team green. With my first we found out and looking back I wish we had not. In the end it didn't matter, we still bought gender neutral baby gear and decorated the nursery pretty gender neutral too. With my second I asked DH to go for team green, he didn't particularly want to but he listened to me and I think I had to compromise something along the way, but I can't remember now what that was we agreed on.
    br> Now with #3 he really would like to find out, daily we get questions if we are trying for a girl as our older two are boys. Girl or boy it won't matter as this is our last pregnancy and I really enjoyed finding out at delivery time. DH wants to know, but he's willing to go along with me. Of course his compromise that I agreed to is that we will most likely be buying a minivan in a year or so with my support/blessing and no bellyaching (something I have vehemently refused to consider in the past).
    br> So to each their own in how they decide to find out or not, but should probably be something both agree to be in on together. I can't imagine someone knowing for half the pregnancy and never dropping a pronoun or something being bought or looked at on store that gender specific and not getting found out which is disappointing for the one who wanted to be surprised.
    br> Good luck on finding a compromise!
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  • Kbchavez23Kbchavez23 member
    sschwege said:

    If you guys really can't decide, then maybe you give the tech two envelopes, with two sheets of paper.  If the tech is willing, ask him/her to write the sex on one sheet, seal the envelopes, when you get home you burn one and open the other.  If it's blank you wait, if it's written on there you find out.  Seems fair to me!

    This is the best!!
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  • crikit83crikit83 member
    I guess I don't quite get the draw to waiting, because it's a surprise either way, whenever you find out. But if it were something my guy felt strongly about, I'd have to hear him out on it.

    But there's no way I'd be able to know and not accidentally spill the beans before the baby came. Like one poster said, I'd be sure to drop a pronoun and spoil it. So that definitely wouldn't be a realistic option for us, but if you think you'd be able to keep a secret successfully, maybe he'd be open to that.
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  • jjtogsgirljjtogsgirl member
    edited December 2014
    My husband was kind of toying with team green, but then the quilting circle ladies at church told him in no uncertain terms that they needed to know the sex to make a quilt. He told them they could make a gender neutral one and they just scoffed at him. Guess that settles it!

    (Eta: this was just intended to be a funny story. The decision is totally up to the two of you & don't let anyone give you grief about it)
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  • KonaCoffeeBeanKonaCoffeeBean member
    jjtogsgirl said:
    My husband was kind of toying with team green, but then the quilting circle ladies at church told him in no uncertain terms that they needed to know the sex to make a quilt. He told them they could make a gender neutral one and they just scoffed at him. Guess that settles it! (Eta: this was just intended to be a funny story. The decision is totally up to the two of you & don't let anyone give you grief about it)

    Lol. The unchecked power of the quilting circle ladies.
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  • nf0kssnf0kss member
    jjtogsgirl said:

    My husband was kind of toying with team green, but then the quilting circle ladies at church told him in no uncertain terms that they needed to know the sex to make a quilt. He told them they could make a gender neutral one and they just scoffed at him. Guess that settles it!

    (Eta: this was just intended to be a funny story. The decision is totally up to the two of you & don't let anyone give you grief about it)

    I totally get it. I could see the same thing happening at my church! Those stewardesses, the older choir mothers and the ladies usher board are no joke! Truly pointless arguing with them!!! Lol.
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  • taboullio84taboullio84 member
    If you want to go get one... Go get it. If he doesn't want to know he doesn't have to go. But don't start buying all pink or blue and ruin it for him.

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