*trigger* Christmas cards — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

*trigger* Christmas cards

AllyDoggAllyDogg member
edited December 2014 in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
As if it wasn't awful to open one Christmas card with a baby announcement on it today, but I opened two! They were both from friends whom had children the same year we had our DD, and now they are having babies in 2015 - when our baby was due. I should be 18 weeks today, and we were planning on announcing with a Christmas card this year too. Sigh.
This has to get easier someday.

Re: *trigger* Christmas cards

  • I told my MIL about our pregnancy right away. It would have been her first grandchild so I knew she would be excited and I couldn't wait to see her excitement and happy tears. That happened on November 8 and she was sending her Christmas card out around December 1. We didn't find out till Dec 2 that we had a mmc and I was scared to death to open her card... afraid that she had put it in her Christmas card (even though we told her she couldn't tell any one until I let out on FB after our first OB appt). Thank God she did not put it in the Christmas card!

    More related to your OP... even seeing my friends' families with new babies from 2014 all huddled together smiling brings me to tears. Oh how badly I want that... 

    I haven't gotten any "announcements" yet... praying that doesn't happen. That sounds painful. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It actually makes me more aware of probably not announcing it like that if I have the chance in the future... I don't want to put someone else through that. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    TTC since July 2014
    BFP#1 11/1/14, EDD 7/15/15, 
    MM/C (blighted ovum) 12/2/14 at 8 wks, D&C 12/5/14
    Fur Parents to Mercy, Fluffy and Big Tex
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    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I am so sorry that this was a trigger for you. The holiday's are especially hard for those that have experienced losses. 

    It will get a bit easier one day. There may always be triggers that impact you but they do get to be less over time. 

    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 

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  • Bel831Bel831 member
    edited December 2014
    So sorry to hear, that does hurt. Not sure the emotional side of it will ever disappear entirely.

    We haven't received any announcements by christmas card, but I have seen lots of posts on facebook. :( Plus friends and family that already have kids, that send their family photo cards...I'm happy for them, but sad its only my husband and I with the dog on our card. We would've been able to announce our pregnancy on the cards too, but it wasn't our fate this time around.

    Big hugs!

    1st BFP 08/08/14 EDD 04/21/15 confirmed MMC 09/17/14 waited for natural m/c no luck, D&C 10/06/14
    2nd BFP 02/06/15 EDD 10/13/15
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers


    Creativity knows no bounds.
  • *hugs* for you. So sorry about the triggers :( Hopefully after the holidays it'll get a little easier for you . I love Christmas but am ready to get past it this year.

    ------------ http://ourangelsandrainbows.blogspot.com/ image † "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." -Psalm 127:3 †
  • I totally understand what you are going through. I have not opened a single card that looked like it would be a photo card. Right in the trash.

    Married 12/4/12

    Began TTC 11/2012

    Diagnosed as anovulatory 7/2013

    Round #1 Clomid 50 mg 8/2013= BFN

    Round#2 Clomid 50 mg 9/2013=BFN

    First appointment with RE 9/27/2013

    HSG showed left tube completely blocked, diagnosed with hypothyroid and began 50 mcg Synthroid, Vitamin D level low and began 2000 iu Vitamin D, Hubby's SA showed "super sperm" according to RE

    Round#3 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 10/2013= BFN

    Round #4 Clomid 50 mg + Ovidrel trigger 11/2013=BFN

    Round #5 Clomid 50 mg (no trigger, on vacation) 12/2012= BFN

    Round #1 Femara 2.5 mg, no trigger, IUI cancelled due to early ovulation 1/2014= BFN

    1/25/2014= BENCHED for the first time (two leftover follies on the right)

    2/7/14 Diagnosed with MTHFR/Benched

    4/2014 Round #2 Femara 5mg, IUI #1=BFN

    4/28/14 positive opk with no treatment while on break, confirmed with ultrasound= BFN

    5/16/14 5mg Femara + trigger + TI=  BFN

    6/2014 5mg Femara + trigger + TI= BFN

    Awaiting IVF consultation appointment on 7/29/2014

    8/8/14 Began BCP's to prep for IVF

    9/16/14 Began Lupron injections

    9/25/14 Began stimming for IVF #1 with Menopur and Bravelle

    10/8/14 10 eggs retrieved

    10/13/14 2 embryos transferred

    10/21/14 BFP!!!

    11/24/14 confirmed that baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, d&c scheduled 

  • Thanks ladies! As much as I've been leaning on DH these past two months, he just doesn't seem to understand how I feel. It's comforting to open up here.

    The worst part is one of those friends knows about our loss. I just wish she would have told us, rather than surprise us with a card. I definitely would not send announcement cards in the mail in the future, albeit how cute that can be.

    DH and I purchased an ornament this year for "Sunny." It is a seashell that says "every life leaves something beautiful behind." I hung it the other day and part of me felt good knowing we are honouring our angel baby.

    Sending hugs to all you ladies! I hope Christmas passes soon...

  • I totally understand what you are going through. I have not opened a single card that looked like it would be a photo card. Right in the trash.

    I had strong gut feeling about the cards (I knew the one couple was trying) - should have listened to my gut.
  • @AllyDogg the ornament sounds awesome :) 
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 

  • I was surprised that distant family members who know we just went through our loss would send christmas cards of their kids smiling faces to us. I would never. Why not buy just one extra plain card and send? I don't understand people.

  • I understand! I would have been 13 weeks this week! It's tough.
  • I think that I have cried more this year over Christmas cards then ever before. (We lost ours right after Thanksgiving). We were going to tell our families at Christmas this year.... At this point I just really want the holidays to be over... :(
  • @daydreamer3451‌ - we lost right before (Canadian) thanksgiving. I was suppose to have my anatomy scan the week after Christmas, and we planned on announcing at Christmas too. I'm looking forward to the holidays being over too. Definitely a sad time this year.
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