A question for the pros (aka Second Time Moms)

katlarissa · December 2014

I am planning/hoping to have a natural birth, unless something goes wrong and it's medically necessary for me not to. I'm nervous about the labor pains, of course, but I'm MUCH MORE NERVOUS about getting stitched up "down there" after the birth without the epidural's numbing powers. My dr has told me to expect tearing, because my husband and I were both nine lbs at birth and our baby is in the 75th percentile...plus I'm a small woman.
I have read that, without an epidural, the stitches hurt like hell, even if they use a local anesthesia before stitching.

A couple of women told me that I will be in such a euphoric daze holding my baby that I won't even notice the stitches and delivering the placenta. Somehow, that doesn't ring true to me, and both of them had epidurals, so I'm assuming their experience would be different.

If there's anyone here who gave birth naturally and would be willing to share your experiences with that aspect of birth, that would help me a lot.

Giggles1204 · December 2014

I really just lurk around here, but I'll share my experience.
I've had 3 natural births. With baby 1 and baby 2, I had stitches. If you can make it through labor without an epidural, the stitches are nothing. I wouldn't have known it was happening if the doctor didn't comment on it.
Everybody's pain tolerance is different though. Good luck with a natural birth!

KristyL5 · December 2014

I went natural with my second and the stitches definitely did not hurt. The excitement of the baby took away all pain. Good luck!

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

Hmmm, well I gave birth naturally to two, but since I didn't have any tearing I can't really help you with that perspective. My babies were 7 lbs 10 oz and 6 lbs 8 oz, but my first (the bigger one) had a huge head size completely off the percentile charts. I'm not so big, but I've got decent sized hips. When I mentioned the lack of tearing to my MW (last two times I used an OB), she told me that it has more to do with skin integrity, which is genetic and the same thing that affects stretch marks (or lack thereof), and she seems 100% sure I won't tear with my 3rd either regardless of size.

So in that respect, see how your skin does with stretch marks and maybe ask your mom and aunts if they had any tearing (none of mine did), and that might be a better indicator for what to expect than your baby's size relative to yours.

LimaD · December 2014

My birth with DD was unmedicated, and the tearing during crowning is what hurt like a mother. The stitches weren't fun, but I was so distracted with my baby. I think I was holding her while they stitched me up, I'm not even sure!

Regardless of the pain, things went very smoothly and I was really happy with my experience. I plan on going unmedicated this time too. Preparing yourself mentally is really important. Take any classes your hospital offers, as far as techniques to help you get through the contractions. Your DH will play a huge role inhelping you, or doula or whoever you choose as your support person. If it's your DH, take him to the classes with you. The transition phase is often times the most difficult (7-10cm). And in the end, getting your baby delivered safely is the goal. Go into it knowing that things change and don't always go as planned. If laboring ends in you taking the epi or needing a c-section please don't let that be considered a failure in your mind, just because it didn't turn out how you wanted.
GL!

katlarissa · December 2014

Certainly didn't want to offend anyone. "Natural birth" is what my obgyn calls it, so I hadn't thought of calling it anything else.

MAdams728 · December 2014

Snapdragon750 said:
Hmmm, well I gave birth naturally to two, but since I didn't have any tearing I can't really help you with that perspective. My babies were 7 lbs 10 oz and 6 lbs 8 oz, but my first (the bigger one) had a huge head size completely off the percentile charts. I'm not so big, but I've got decent sized hips. When I mentioned the lack of tearing to my MW (last two times I used an OB), she told me that it has more to do with skin integrity, which is genetic and the same thing that affects stretch marks (or lack thereof), and she seems 100% sure I won't tear with my 3rd either regardless of size.

So in that respect, see how your skin does with stretch marks and maybe ask your mom and aunts if they had any tearing (none of mine did), and that might be a better indicator for what to expect than your baby's size relative to yours.

I don't doubt that skin integrity has something to do with it, but I didn't get stretch marks at all, only had a 5 lb 12 oz baby, and still had a second degree tear. I think it's mostly chance, myself.

Hawk&Eye · December 2014

Eh, I had DS unmedicated and I had to have some stitches. I even had some tearing internally. It hurt but wasn't nearly as bad as those last few centimeters and the crowning. They stitched me up as soon as he was laid on my chest. Having him in my arms was all the distraction I needed and it only took a few minutes. I'd try not to worry about it.

However we deliver our babies is awesome and I like to think it turns us into tigers! You got this!

katlarissa · December 2014

Starbuck128 said:
Also want to point out that weight has little to do with this. Head size is more important. A chubby belly and thighs won't cause any tearing.

That definitely makes sense.

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

LimaD said:

My birth with DD was unmedicated, and the tearing during crowning is what hurt like a mother. The stitches weren't fun, but I was so distracted with my baby. I think I was holding her while they stitched me up, I'm not even sure!

Regardless of the pain, things went very smoothly and I was really happy with my experience. I plan on going unmedicated this time too. Preparing yourself mentally is really important. Take any classes your hospital offers, as far as techniques to help you get through the contractions. Your DH will play a huge role inhelping you, or doula or whoever you choose as your support person. If it's your DH, take him to the classes with you. The transition phase is often times the most difficult (7-10cm). And in the end, getting your baby delivered safely is the goal. Go into it knowing that things change and don't always go as planned. If laboring ends in you taking the epi or needing a c-section please don't let that be considered a failure in your mind, just because it didn't turn out how you wanted.
GL!

To be fair, the "ring of fire" while crowning is awful even if you don't tear! I remember that pain, and I was really surprised that I didn't because it sure felt like it.

OnceInLoveWithAmy · December 2014

I was unmediated with my son. He was a teeny 6 lbs 14oz, but I tore a fair amount. I was stitched up while tey were cleaning him off/weighing him/ yadda yadda, so I hadn't had the chance to hold him yet. I am pretty sure the doctor gave me some kind of numbing cream or something while I was being stitched up, because I don't remember it.

Also, it doesn't hurt to birth the placenta. After birthing a baby, the placenta just kind of .... slips out.

katlarissa · December 2014

LimaD said:
My birth with DD was unmedicated, and the tearing during crowning is what hurt like a mother. The stitches weren't fun, but I was so distracted with my baby. I think I was holding her while they stitched me up, I'm not even sure!

Regardless of the pain, things went very smoothly and I was really happy with my experience. I plan on going unmedicated this time too. Preparing yourself mentally is really important. Take any classes your hospital offers, as far as techniques to help you get through the contractions. Your DH will play a huge role inhelping you, or doula or whoever you choose as your support person. If it's your DH, take him to the classes with you. The transition phase is often times the most difficult (7-10cm). And in the end, getting your baby delivered safely is the goal. Go into it knowing that things change and don't always go as planned. If laboring ends in you taking the epi or needing a c-section please don't let that be considered a failure in your mind, just because it didn't turn out how you wanted.
GL!

I am definitely approaching the whole thing with a "this is what I'm hoping for/willing to work hard for" perspective as far as meds go, but I know that there are so many variables when it comes to births, and I won't feel like a failure in any way if I end up needing meds or a c-section. I just want my baby to be healthy!!

Also, thanks for all the input, y'all! I really appreciate it.

jil1210 · December 2014

The good news is it looks like I'm in the minority with painful stitches.
I had an unmedicated vaginal delivery with a second-degree tear. The stitches were the most painful thing I remember of that day. I didn't want to hold DD while getting stitches because it hurt so much. My husband held DD and our doula stood next to me and helped distract me.

Knowing this, I still hope to have an unmedicated delivery this time. The only things I would do differently are: warm compresses during labor to help with stretching and trying to deliver in a different position that might reduce the severity of tearing.

In the end it was fine. So just take deep breaths and keep a plan b in mind.

KellyFM522 · December 2014

So I kinda feel like a SS for this but my epidural did not work from my hips down. It masked the contraction pain but I felt everything from my vag to my toes. Which I actually ended up loving having control of my legs. So I felt everything.

But while I was pushing my OB was helping stretch me out. I did some perineum massages the month leading up to labor too but not regularly. But I don't remember labor being painful, as it was intense. My OB too says that stretch marks and tearing are genetic.

Also my OB says natural birth and gender instead of sex. But hey she went to Brown, I'm not going to correct her!

Sannika · December 2014

I had my 2 DS unmediated, but also had an episiotomy done both times. Tbh I didn't feel the OB cutting me because I was so focused on pushing. Afterwards she gave me a local anesthetic shot which I did feel, slight pinch and that was it. I think I had maybe 4-5 stitches. Didn't feel a thing when it was being performed.

Good luck with your natural birth!

vballgirl78 · December 2014

I had an unmedicated birth with DD and had some tearing. I was holding DD while they were stitching me up and didn't notice a thing. Either it was nothing compared to the pain I had just been through, they numbed me up good, or I was so in awe holding my baby that nothing else mattered. I'm not sure, but it certainly wasn't anything that left a lasting impression.

lala5507 · December 2014

I guess I am in the minority here. My stitches hurt like heck! My baby was only 6lb 15 oz. The baby was being cleaned off while I was getting stitched. A student nurse offered to hold my hand and I'm pretty sure I broke it.

itsmevkb · December 2014

I've had two unmedicated births. The last one was so fast that I honestly don't even remember if I got any stitches. However, with my first unmedicated birth I could feel myself tearing during the dreaded "ring of fire" and it hurt, a lot, and them stitching me up hurt as well, although they used a numbing cream and after giving birth it's hard to compare those two types of pain.

I agree that delivering the placenta is no biggie but I will say that with my first baby having the nurses knead my stomach after the delivery actually hurt far more than my labor. I had an epidural with that labor which was glorious, but by they time they were rubbing my stomach it had pretty much worn off.

fitzgirl17 · December 2014

After my first I had a 4th degree repair. They told me if I hadn't had the epidural, they would of had to put me under. I am very greatful I had the epi and they even left it going while getting stitched for 2 hrs.

mpiemont · December 2014

I've had 2 vaginal med free births, both times I had some tearing and both times I needed stitches. The needle poke for the local anesthesia was a needle poke like anywhere else, but after just having given birth, it was the least of my concerns. The 2nd time, the local anesthesia wasn't quite working and so the stitching was a bit more uncomfortable but tolerable. It's something that's more painful to actually sit and think about than it is when it's really happening.

Willapop · December 2014

I had an unmedicated birth after preparation through Bradley courses. My OB cut an episiotomy while I was pushing because she said I was going to tear internally, which would have to be fixed in an operating room.

After she cut the episiotomy, I tore further, resulting in a third degree tear. While my daughter was being cleaned up and checked because she'd been born with meconium in the amniotic fluid, I was stitched up. I did not enjoy the stitches and would guesstimate that they took about 10-15 minutes (or at least it felt that long). My OB did use a shot to numb me locally, but I still felt the tugging sensation and found it very uncomfortable. While she was stitching me, I did not want to hold my daughter and wouldn't let my husband go look at her for long because I needed him.

My third degree tear was definitely the worst part of my birth and recovery.

Lezzie82 · December 2014

You natural ladies are so incredibly brave. I don't think I could do it.

OP is that your real name? If so you may want to edit it so no creepos creep on you

itsmevkb · December 2014

viola27 said:

I've had two unmedicated births. The last one was so fast that I honestly don't even remember if I got any stitches. However, with my first unmedicated birth I could feel myself tearing during the dreaded "ring of fire" and it hurt, a lot, and them stitching me up hurt as well, although they used a numbing cream and after giving birth it's hard to compare those two types of pain.

I agree that delivering the placenta is no biggie but I will say that with my first baby having the nurses knead my stomach after the delivery actually hurt far more than my labor. I had an epidural with that labor which was glorious, but by they time they were rubbing my stomach it had pretty much worn off.
An unmedicated epi birth? Wut?

I've given birth four times:
1. epi
2. unmedicated
3. epi that barely worked
4 unmedicated

itsmevkb · December 2014

Speaking of stitches, the ob who delivered my first baby was teaching a medical student how to do the stitches and actually said to the student "it helps if you remember what it looked like before the birth." All I could think was what the h*ll does it look like now?????? Looking back it is funny to me now but at the time it was slightly terrifying.

katlarissa · December 2014

Lezzie82 said:
You natural ladies are so incredibly brave. I don't think I could do it.

OP is that your real name? If so you may want to edit it so no creepos creep on you

I didn't think I would do anything except lurk, so I just put that as my username. Good suggestion though!

mnbando · December 2014

I gave birth without drugs and didn't even know there was a tear. I didn't feel the stitches either. I do remember feeling like I wanted to be done with having everything "out there",I just wanted to put my legs down at that point while holding my baby

2ndTimeMommyA · December 2014

I had an unmedicated vaginal birth and luckily did not have any tears. Baby was 7 lbs 1 oz. I'd do it again - I have a feeling tears would hurt but I'll take my chances again (shorter recovery time!). Good luck!

supersarah77 · December 2014

I had a little tear that only required one stitch if I remember correctly. I pushed in a squatting position except the last push I was on the bed in a seated recline so I could put DD right on my chest. They worked fast to stitch me up, cut the cord, wipe DD off a bit, and push out the placenta, all while DD was on my chest and I barely even noticed what was going on. Needless to say, the stitches didn't hurt.

jil1210 · December 2014

SaltyH2O said:

FWIW, I'm facing having another unmedicated birth this time around (not necessarily by choice...it's a common recurrence for those that are prone to gestational thrombocytopenia, but that's another story).

Off-topic, but I also have gestational thrombocytopenia, and I had it with DD. I was hoping for a unmedicated labor and delivery anyway which I think makes it easier to handle being told you can't have an epidural.

masonsmomandmaybaby · December 2014

I did get an epidural with my first but wanted to say something anyways. I never pushed my pca so I could my legs and feel and I was up walking right after birth. I had a 7lb baby and didn't tear and I'm a pretty small. My dr did do perineal message. Which I think definitely helped. I also didn't get stretch marks so what someone said earlier might be true. I wanted to go natural but the nurse totally psyched me out by saying I would go for 24 hrs. My labor was just 6hrs. I had him 2 hrs after getting the epidural. So I wanted to tell you to stay focused and don't let anyone psych you out. I plan on going unmediated this time. Labor was so wonderful I can't wait to do it again honestly. It was the easiest part of pregnancy for me.

autumn907 · December 2014

I had a full tear front to back well almost complete and I will tell you after pushing her out I did not feel anything I felt the tear but not the stiches. I don't know if they gave a local or not.

renarene · December 2014

I did not have an epi and ended up having 3 tears and a full episiotomy. My daughter was 9 pounds and had shoulder dystocia, I pushed for 2.5 hours to get her out. It was all very painful but I was pretty numb down there from all the pain of the delivery I don't remember the stitches hurting much. I wasn't distracted by my new baby either because they took her for a while because she wasn't moving one of her arms.

Leslie2003 · December 2014

Both my boys were born with no pain management.

My first left me with a 3rd degree tear that was mostly internal. Dr gave me the option of just local or local and stadol (iv med). I asked for her opinion and she told me it was pretty severe and to take the stadol. However I wouldn't be able to hold the baby. I took the stadol and it took her 45 min to stitch me. DH held alexander. At first I regretted it but I honestly don't think I could have handled it with just a local.

With my second, I was afraid to tear badly. I read ways to get things ready down there so I would be more elastic. I also read about how to control pushing. When he was born, I had a minor tear that required two stitches. I opted for local and it was done in seconds. It was not that bad.

If I had another large tear or had been cut, I would have asked for IV meds again.

putput19 · December 2014

I had an epi and leaked spinal fluid so they couldn't give me more meds. It had totally worn off by the time I started pushing. I had a second degree tear which was about 20 stitches. This was the worst part for me. I was holding my daughter and could care less and had to have someone else take her. Next time I know to ask them to wait for it to kick in or use more local.

staccajaye · December 2014

itsmevkb said:
Speaking of stitches, the ob who delivered my first baby was teaching a medical student how to do the stitches and actually said to the student "it helps if you remember what it looked like before the birth." All I could think was what the h*ll does it look like now?????? Looking back it is funny to me now but at the time it was slightly terrifying.

Omg imagine if he takes a before photo so when they do stich back up, she looks just like she did lol

staccajaye · December 2014

Can I just say, these stories are amazing and have blown my mind...
I am half excited and half absolutely shitting myself. I even missed my stop to work.
High five to all your women, I have never asked any of my friends indepth stories about giving birth...
Thank you for sharing
.... Slinks off to start reading about birth (I've put it off this long)

smurf605 · December 2014

I had a unmedicated birth with DS2. I know I was stitched, but don't remember feeling it.

lala5507 · December 2014

itsmevkb said:

Speaking of stitches, the ob who delivered my first baby was teaching a medical student how to do the stitches and actually said to the student "it helps if you remember what it looked like before the birth." All I could think was what the h*ll does it look like now?????? Looking back it is funny to me now but at the time it was slightly terrifying.

LOL! I was crying during the stitches and I think my doctor was getting annoyed. She said, "Well don't you want it to look normal again?!?" I thought the same thing as you...what in that world does it look like now???!?!?!

katlarissa · December 2014

staccajaye said:
Can I just say, these stories are amazing and have blown my mind...
I am half excited and half absolutely shitting myself. I even missed my stop to work.
High five to all your women, I have never asked any of my friends indepth stories about giving birth...
Thank you for sharing
.... Slinks off to start reading about birth (I've put it off this long)

@staccajaye Oh my goodness, I know!! I have been telling myself over and over, first of all, "birth isn't optional, so you're gonna have to deal with it," and secondly, "women have been doing this literally since the beginning of the world, so relax!"

Birth is a nasty, amazing, unbelievable thing. As someone who was told she would probably never get pregnant, being where I am is incredible, and I keep reminding myself of that! It helps with the nerves...a little.

sb5366 · December 2014

fitzgirl17 said:

After my first I had a 4th degree repair. They told me if I hadn't had the epidural, they would of had to put me under. I am very greatful I had the epi and they even left it going while getting stitched for 2 hrs.

OH MY GOD! You poor thing! I may get an epi just because of your story lol!

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