@linegirl313 and other church go-ers

mommatotwo2 · December 2014

@linegirl- I saw your post in the sleeping baby in the carseat thread (hilarious, btw). Anyway, we just started trying to back to church. We're Catholic, so it's Mass and there is no nursery. There is a "cry room" and we sit in there some, but can't hear well in there and feel really isolated from the main group. Since we haven't been taking LO her whole life, she's totally not used to it and she's pretty unruly while we are there. We've tried books which she normally loves but isn't interested in, and we've tried cheerios, but she gets them all over and we spend half of mass picking up after her. Do you have any advice? Will it get better? I kind of feel like there is no point in going with a toddler

tee18 · December 2014

Do they have Sunday school at some point? My church does have nursery. We started using it at 9 months. Before then, we did use the cry room and I understand how hard it is to keep them occupied and to actually be able to focus.

Maybe snacks that are slower to eat?? My lo always takes his time with a box of raisins... It may buy you a little time during the sermon (I'm not catholic so I'm not sure how your formatting is)

Otherwise, my only advice is to have one parent in the cry room and the other parent in the service and switch off every other week.

mommatotwo2 · December 2014

@tee18, yes, they do have a part of mass (which equates to around half-3/4 of mass) where the older kids go off for Sunday School. I'm not sure what age that starts at, I'll have to ask. I assume probably at least preschool age.

We did have nursery in my Non-Catholic church growing up and so this whole having kids in Mass thing is new to me.

That's excellent advice about the raisins and the switching on and off. Thank you!

mommatotwo2 · December 2014

@3timemom, my six year old is struggling a bit too, but she's reading now, so she can at least sit and read for the part she is in Mass. I'd really prefer she listen to the Mass, but realistically, she's not getting most of it anyway.

I've experienced the same thing, some judgy looks and whispers about my ansty kids and it's really frustrating to me! Especially in the Catholic church, where in general, huge families are the social norm. You'd think people would be more understanding.

c-elizabethf · December 2014

Our church has a nursery and dd usually does really good. The one time she did cry they called me back and I took her in the lobby and they have flat screens to see the sermon. I had crackers and other stuff for her.

surpriseaddition · December 2014

Bummer....the Catholic churches I've been to have had nurseries (including our current one). With my older 2 we always took them in to Mass, but this LO is a little loud and doesn't do so well. They only have the nursery during 2 Masses on Sunday morning, and if we go to a different one, she needs to stay with us. We've been doing the split family thing. Tonight, I took DS and myself, and DH stayed home with LO. It does get better as they get older. I totally agree with you. Catholics are all about pro-life, until your kid is screaming in Mass! That's kind of how we ended up with the surprise addition in the first place....

mommatotwo2 · December 2014

Thanks everyone! @3timemom, is PSR the religious ed? I need to look into that, because I think First Communion happens around 7. We haven't even gotten LO2 baptized yet

That's scheduled for February. Everything got harder to tackle after the 2nd baby came along!

mommatotwo2 · December 2014

surpriseaddition said:

Bummer....the Catholic churches I've been to have had nurseries (including our current one). With my older 2 we always took them in to Mass, but this LO is a little loud and doesn't do so well. They only have the nursery during 2 Masses on Sunday morning, and if we go to a different one, she needs to stay with us. We've been doing the split family thing. Tonight, I took DS and myself, and DH stayed home with LO. It does get better as they get older. I totally agree with you. Catholics are all about pro-life, until your kid is screaming in Mass! That's kind of how we ended up with the surprise addition in the first place....

LOL at the bold, @surpriseaddition!! I had that first thought the last time we were getting side eye from judgy mcjudgerson next to us, like HEY, you guys want us to have a million babies! Be glad I've only got two antsy ones sitting here! We do have a Catholic church in our area that has a nursery, but we ended up at the one that doesn't because the Priest from our old church ended up there and we followed him, because he's really great. I think we may end up doing the split family thing, I kind of hate that idea, but it might be what we have to do. Because right now, I'm seriously getting nothing out of Mass at all, I can barely hear or focus on what they are saying.

mommatotwo2 · December 2014

@dillngr9, we actually just started going to this church after a six year (I know, terrible) absence from the church. We've been to mass about 4 times now. We haven't really gotten to know any other parents yet, though we do sit with a large amount of them in the pews in the cry room, which is really just a glassed in portion of the main worship space. The parish seems very large, we attend 1 of 5 masses offered and it's packed. So I bet there could be in interest in having a nursery with rotating parent caregivers, like you mention. It's a large building, I haven't been through the whole thing, but I imagine there is a space that a nursery could be in.

pnutg · December 2014

C is very difficult in church these days. He hasn't stayed in the nursery for more than 10 minutes since he was about 11 months. He screams bloody murder. So, 1 parent is always standing in the back/walking around with him in the lobby. It certainly isn't ideal but if we don't get him use to it now I don't think he will ever behave in church. So, we keep chugging along.

Today he actually spent the last 15-20 mins in the nursery without crying. So I'm hopeful.

mommatotwo2 · December 2014

Thanks all! You made me feel much better about the way my kiddo acts (like a toddler) in church, so the next time we're there, I'll at least know I'm not alone!

bishbecraycray · December 2014

If our church didn't have a nursery there's no way we'd be making it there every week with a 3 year old and 1 year old ! That's such a bummer it seems like there's no option other than a perfectly behaved toddler, or the cry room. I make sure to bring plenty of snacks/books/activities like coloring and play dough, in case they're super opposed to the nursery that day. DS2 still cries when we drop him off but is always happy when we pick him up. Also, it does get better ! Our 3 year old can definitely sit through a service now quietly if he decides he doesn't want to be in his sunday school room. Although, we're not Catholic so maybe your services are longer ? GL

remember that people are probably less annoyed with you than you think they are, and you're not the first OR last to have a squirmy toddler in church

bishbecraycray · December 2014

Also I read this a few months ago and LOVED it- hopefully you will too !

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamie-bruesehoff/parents-kids-church_b_3909085.html

mommatotwo2 · December 2014

Thank You gals, soooo much. It's so helpful to hear your advice, ideas, support and words of encouragement. @bishbecraycray‌ , that article was amazing and I loved it. I cried, lol. Thank you so much for sharing!

bishbecraycray · December 2014

mommatotwo2 said:

Thank You gals, soooo much. It's so helpful to hear your advice, ideas, support and words of encouragement. @bishbecraycray‌ , that article was amazing and I loved it. I cried, lol. Thank you so much for sharing!

You're welcome ! I cried too lol

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