Oh Christmas! — The Bump
Parenting after 35

Oh Christmas!

So I was just curious if I was the only one dealing with in-laws who want to buy the kids gifts you don't want them to have?  I am coming across as a big B I am sure to my MIL but I am sorry I don't want my almost 3 year old to have her own tablet. To be fair, I am the self proclaimed tv nazi, I hardly ever have it on.  My kids play.  My daughter has an amazing imagination and has such great pretend play skills and I want to encourage that not have her sitting mindless in front of a tablet screen.  My in-laws have the TV on 24/7.  Literally it is always on unless they aren't home.  The moment they return the tv goes right back on.  It makes me crazy.  Due to this fact my MIL can't understand why I don't want her to have a tablet.  Oh yeah she wanted to buy it last year too, when she was almost 2.  I said no then too! 

I talked her into getting a Melissa and Doug farm for the kids but she is getting it reluctantly.  I don't care.  Sorry, not sorry!  

Anyone else swimming in the same sea?

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Re: Oh Christmas!

  • My LO is just 6 months, so I'm not fighting the technology fight yet, but I've let all friends & family know that he doesn't need anything at all.   We've been fortunate to have received many nice shower gifts and lots of hand me downs.   So I'm hoping they'll comply and that we can set the standard that we want Christmas to be small & quiet going forward too.   I just don't want him to associate it with mountains of gifts.   My MIL is trying to get around this by sending things here and there.   She doesn't call them Christmas gifts.  :)  He's her only grandchild so I'm trying to cut her some slack.
    Me-41, Hubby-40.
    1st BFP-8/17/12!  Missed Miscarriage discovered @ 8 week US.  D&C.
    2nd BFP-2/13/13!  Blighted Ovum discovered @ 8 week US. Natural miscarriage.
    3rd BFP-5/22/13!  By early June, progesterone plummeting.  Another loss.
    August 2013 - started Donor Egg process, but surprise BFP with my own eggs.
    Dear Son born 5/28/14
  • I gave up a long time ago. Lol. My in laws keep my kiddos while I work, and I often return at the end of the day and notice new stuff. I used to want to keep toys to a minimum. That went out the window about three toy baskets ago.

    My bigger problem is that my in laws don't think my kids should have to wait for special occasions to get stuff. I think (and research backs me up) that anticipation is as much a part of happiness as getting the thing is. (Recollection is also as important. If you haven't, read The Happibess Project. Her research is fascinating!) So my mother in law is horrified that I tell my 2 year old to put things on her Santa list instead of buying the thing immediately. Argh! She's coming around now that she's seeing how much joy DD is getting out of "getting ready for Santa".
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  • My ILs don't ask, just buy.  When DS1 was 1 on Christmas MIL bought him a power wheels ATV because it looked fun.  What makes you think a motorized vehicle, even a slow one, is a smart idea for a 1 year old?  Ugh!  None of them would spend the money on a tablet though so I'm not worried about that.

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  • Geeps!! Are you sure you aren't my evil twin? :)

    I am EXACTLY the same way about tv. I have some shows I like to watch at night but other than that I never have it on. If my husband is home he leaves it on ALL DAY. I can't stand it. That's the way he was raised.

    FIL called from Toys R Us a week ago to ask what she needed for Christmas. I was so relieved because I've HATED most of what they've given us so far since she was born. I know that sounds ungrateful but they have picked out things I've specifically stated I didn't like. So I hope this is a new trend.
    Me:41, DH:41 Positive for MTHFR mutations- one copy C677T, one copy A1298C. One daughter born on Thanksgiving in 2013. Six losses.
    Geeps2
  • QOTR said:
    My LO is just 6 months, so I'm not fighting the technology fight yet, but I've let all friends & family know that he doesn't need anything at all.   We've been fortunate to have received many nice shower gifts and lots of hand me downs.   So I'm hoping they'll comply and that we can set the standard that we want Christmas to be small & quiet going forward too.   I just don't want him to associate it with mountains of gifts.   My MIL is trying to get around this by sending things here and there.   She doesn't call them Christmas gifts.  :)  He's her only grandchild so I'm trying to cut her some slack.
    This is us exactly. Everyone has been asking what to buy for Spencer and I don't know what to say. We all buy gifts for the kids in our family, but honestly Spencer needs nothing. I've been saying clothes 9 months+. In fact, I don't even know what to buy him for Christmas because, really, what does a 5 month old need?!
  • I am glad I am not alone.  Guennie- it's like we are bump soul mates LOL 

    I just don't want Christmas, or birthdays to turn into a "Gimmee" fest.  I've seen it with my cousin's kids and its flat out rude and obnoxious.  I was literally asked the moment I stepped foot in my Aunts house by one of my cousins children on Christmas day "and what did you get me"?  I wanted to respond a "swift kick in your ass" but I held my tongue.  

    We are so lucky in that my sister has 3 kids that are older than my daughter so I get all the hand me downs, toys included so my 2 little monkeys need for nothing.  My youngest niece is less than a month younger than my son so this Christmas my sister and I planned what we wanted to get the little ones with the intention of swapping toys in a few months so it will be something new for them to play with.  

    Oh what fun!


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    springbeduk2
  • I'm lucky that at least do far both my family and inlaws are seeming pretty reasonable (plus inlaws are halfway across the globe which limits things) but I totally agree with you all about keeping gifts to a reasonable amount, the importance of anticipation/ delayed gratification, and real toys vs. screens. Its funny that we're more old-fashioned (at least I think of those things as more traditional/yesteryear ideas and values) than relatives who are actually a generation older!

    Good luck and hang in there!
    Me: 39  DH: 44  together since 2000 married 9/2004 TTC #1 since 2/2012
    BFP #1 6/5/2012  m/c 6/15/2012 about 5w3d   BFP #2 6/?/2013 m/c 7/1/2013 5w 3d
    BFP #3 8/25/2013  EDD 5/7/2014    DD A. born 5/8/2014!!  Love!!!!
  • For your little munchkins, ask for teething toys! They are inexpensive, take up very little space, and you may need to try several diff textures to get your baby to chew. (Take it from a mommy whose first child didn't cut her first tooth until the week before her first birthday even though the bump had been right there for two months because the kid refused to chew on anything! They need to chew!) My view is, if people ask what to buy, it's because they want to express love for your baby. That's a great blessing, even if you have everything you need. So give them something easy. And merry Christmas!!
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