Baby sleeping schedule

happy924 · December 2014

Hi Everyone- I apologize if their was already a thread on this. I couldn't find one. A friend recommended I read Babywise and that it was a lifesaver for her to get her baby sleeping through the night faster. I know their is some controversy on this. Does anyone recommend this style and if not, what worked best for you?

samiamagirl · December 2014

Exactly what @marybeth080710 said. Instead of just reading up on one technique, I'd really recommend doing research on different techniques. What works for one baby will not work on another.

maritimeme · December 2014

We used Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Child but took a lot of it with a grain of salt. What works for one child may not work for another. You just need to try out different things, but stay consistent (try for a week or so before changing things up) - it's a difficult balance to achieve.

I didn't hear good things about Babywise, but don't have any personal experience with it.

EDIT TO ADD: DD didn't sleep her first 8-10 hour stretch until 10 months old and didn't consistently sleep through the night until 14 months old. I feel like I tried everything, but she just wasn't ready.

sabriel1 · December 2014

I personally recommend just going with the flow for the first few months, there's no sleep training that can occur in the first few months of a baby's life anyways.

I would recommend establishing a routine as best you can as early as possible. You'll use baby's tried cues to know when they are tired. At nighttime we would get a routine of turning down the lights, infant massage with lotion, diaper change, feeding and rocking to sleep. Over time they just started to associate that routine with their long nightly sleep. Eventually when the baby was much older we did sleep train but in the first few months the goal is simply survival and no method will work for every child as they are all different.

lgsdesigner · December 2014

I didn't use anything like that. Here is what I did that got both my my kids to SSTN by 9 weeks:

1- ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. Get them to bed/ready for bed at the same time each night. Do the same thing: warm bath, soft music in background, wear a fluffy bathrobe that you ONLY wear at their bedtime that lets them know it's bedtime, rock and feed then lay them down.

2- Swaddle your child well.

3- Buy a sound machine, and use it from the first day they are home. I use the Homedics Lullaby Spa Sound Machine and Projector. It's $20 on Amazon, and the best $20 I ever spent.

4- Only keep them in your room (in a pack n play or bassinet) for the first 4 weeks. After that-- put them in their own nursery. If a baby is further away from their mommy, they won't smell your milk (yes...they can smell it), and will usually wake less. Also-- this gets them used to their environment and teaches them sleep independence.

HTH!

CamoBride2010 · December 2014

We just did what felt right at the time. We did everything on demand. Babies are not made to sleep thru the night, heck I don't sleep clear thru the night. My toddler still gets up 2-3 times a night although now she's good at getting herself back to bed.

SassyPants150 · December 2014

We used Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child as well. To me it was most helpful in describing signs of being tired (yeah, I figured a 2 month old would just sleep when tired and not cry) and starting to teach how to self-soothe. My neighbors son who is the same age as DD (almost 3) has only slept through the night a handful of times because he still has to be rocked and coddled to go to sleep. Then when he wakes up he has to be helped back to sleep as well. DD started STTN at 8 weeks and is still a good sleeper.

Lezzie82 · December 2014

You can prepare all day and night but when the time comes you may have to go a totally different direction! Keep your options and mind open and listen to your baby's needs. They will show you the right way and you all will figure it out together with time and experience.

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

lgsdesigner said:

I didn't use anything like that. Here is what I did that got both my my kids to SSTN by 9 weeks:

1- ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. Get them to bed/ready for bed at the same time each night. Do the same thing: warm bath, soft music in background, wear a fluffy bathrobe that you ONLY wear at their bedtime that lets them know it's bedtime, rock and feed then lay them down.

2- Swaddle your child well.

3- Buy a sound machine, and use it from the first day they are home. I use the Homedics Lullaby Spa Sound Machine and Projector. It's $20 on Amazon, and the best $20 I ever spent.

4- Only keep them in your room (in a pack n play or bassinet) for the first 4 weeks. After that-- put them in their own nursery. If a baby is further away from their mommy, they won't smell your milk (yes...they can smell it), and will usually wake less. Also-- this gets them used to their environment and teaches them sleep independence.

HTH!

All of this. I also third the rec for Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I followed his advice to the T and both my kids STTN at 12 hour stretches by 3 months old. He does give different, specific advice for different ages and different situations (co-sleeping vs. not, for example), so he's not pushing a parenting style, which I appreciated a lot.

mylittleladies1229 · December 2014

I read Babywise and Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child and took elements I liked from each method. My twins have always been great sleepers and some people say I got lucky, but it's not luck. It's a lot of work done by the parents to get their child to sleep in the proper environment. It should be dark (we put aluminum foil over the blinds because "blackout" curtains are a POS), cool, and having a sound machine is a lifesaver (I use DOHM).

I did a ton of research while they were small and I would advise any new parent to listen to these webinars: They teach you the science of sleep and how to practically apply what you learn.

Another tip- After you child becomes a swaddle houdini get your baby a Baby Merlin Sleepsuit. https://www.magicsleepsuit.com/

Lezzie82 · December 2014

I will say that we personally had the most luck and still do with the routine method. We do bath, book, bottle (or now sippy cup of water right before he goes down). A lot of people choose not to give them anything to drink in crib, but we did. We have video monitoring and it just helped him sleep so much better to have a baba in there with him. We finally broke him of it the same time we got rid of the paci. Now he drinks an entire sippy cup of water before he lays down. And yes it does make for a full diaper sometimes.

So maybe learn from our first experience and don't give them anything to drink in bed.... It did help but it can also be a pain in the ass.

pilar311 · December 2014

lgsdesigner said:
I didn't use anything like that. Here is what I did that got both my my kids to SSTN by 9 weeks:

1- ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. Get them to bed/ready for bed at the same time each night. Do the same thing: warm bath, soft music in background, wear a fluffy bathrobe that you ONLY wear at their bedtime that lets them know it's bedtime, rock and feed then lay them down.

2- Swaddle your child well.

3- Buy a sound machine, and use it from the first day they are home. I use the Homedics Lullaby Spa Sound Machine and Projector. It's $20 on Amazon, and the best $20 I ever spent.

4- Only keep them in your room (in a pack n play or bassinet) for the first 4 weeks. After that-- put them in their own nursery. If a baby is further away from their mommy, they won't smell your milk (yes...they can smell it), and will usually wake less. Also-- this gets them used to their environment and teaches them sleep independence.

HTH!

So you swaddle them before they go to bed at night and leave them that way all night? Wouldn't that get constricting? I have no idea, I'm just asking.

RachiCakes · December 2014

pilar311 said:

lgsdesigner said:
I didn't use anything like that. Here is what I did that got both my my kids to SSTN by 9 weeks:

1- ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. Get them to bed/ready for bed at the same time each night. Do the same thing: warm bath, soft music in background, wear a fluffy bathrobe that you ONLY wear at their bedtime that lets them know it's bedtime, rock and feed then lay them down.

2- Swaddle your child well.

3- Buy a sound machine, and use it from the first day they are home. I use the Homedics Lullaby Spa Sound Machine and Projector. It's $20 on Amazon, and the best $20 I ever spent.

4- Only keep them in your room (in a pack n play or bassinet) for the first 4 weeks. After that-- put them in their own nursery. If a baby is further away from their mommy, they won't smell your milk (yes...they can smell it), and will usually wake less. Also-- this gets them used to their environment and teaches them sleep independence.

HTH!
So you swaddle them before they go to bed at night and leave them that way all night? Wouldn't that get constricting? I have no idea, I'm just asking.

No, newborns love and crave swaddling (well most). My kids screamed when they broke free of the swaddle. The tighter the better

RachiCakes · December 2014

We used babywise as well. We had twins and absolutely had to have a routine or I would have done nothing but feeding, changing, and putting a newborn to sleep all the time. Routines and sleep schedules worked for us...both slept 6-8 hours a night by 8 weeks. As PP have said, babywise sometimes gets criticized for being strict or something, but take any advice as a guideline and you'll figure out what works for you and LO

SassyPants150 · December 2014

@pilar311‌ That was something else I was totally wrong about. Since DD liked holding her arms up, I assumed that she was most comfortable that way. However, sleep wise, she slept best swaddled tight!

My bff said the same thing when her daughter was born and sure enough she began sleeping better when swaddled.

lgsdesigner · December 2014

RachiCakes said:

I didn't use anything like that. Here is what I did that got both my my kids to SSTN by 9 weeks:

1- ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. Get them to bed/ready for bed at the same time each night. Do the same thing: warm bath, soft music in background, wear a fluffy bathrobe that you ONLY wear at their bedtime that lets them know it's bedtime, rock and feed then lay them down.

2- Swaddle your child well.

3- Buy a sound machine, and use it from the first day they are home. I use the Homedics Lullaby Spa Sound Machine and Projector. It's $20 on Amazon, and the best $20 I ever spent.

4- Only keep them in your room (in a pack n play or bassinet) for the first 4 weeks. After that-- put them in their own nursery. If a baby is further away from their mommy, they won't smell your milk (yes...they can smell it), and will usually wake less. Also-- this gets them used to their environment and teaches them sleep independence.

HTH!
So you swaddle them before they go to bed at night and leave them that way all night? Wouldn't that get constricting? I have no idea, I'm just asking.
No, newborns love and crave swaddling (well most). My kids screamed when they broke free of the swaddle. The tighter the better

@pilar311- What she said.

pilar311 · December 2014

@RachiCakes‌, about when do you stop swaddling them at night before bed?

mylittleladies1229 · December 2014

pilar311 said:
So you swaddle them before they go to bed at night and leave them that way all night? Wouldn't that get constricting? I have no idea, I'm just asking.

Babies have what's known as the Moro (startle) reflex where it feels like they are falling. The can be fast asleep and then will move their arms in a startling manner because it feels like they are falling. Swaddling helps to calm this reflex.

SassyPants150 · December 2014

I stopped swaddling when it was apparent she was strong enough to consistently break free. We used the SwaddleMes so I think she was just over 3 months.

RachiCakes · December 2014

pilar311 said:
@RachiCakes‌, about when do you stop swaddling them at night before bed?

Every kid is different but my son was done around 3 months, and my daughter a few weeks before that. We used the Halo sleep sacks with the swaddle on them, so when they didn't need swaddled any longer, we just used the sleep sacks (they used sleep sacks until they were 18 months). I've heard of moms swaddling kids until they are close to a year old...just depends! Even though babies can't talk, they are pretty great at communicating what they like/dislike.

KellyFM522 · December 2014

I totally second or third, maybe even fourth what @lgsdesigner‌ said. All of this was the exact advice our pediatrician gave us.

Once we got night time feedings down to once per night for about 2 weeks we then just cut them out until the morning. I'm ok with letting babies cry it out when I am sure they are ready. Right amount of weight gain and ate enough when I put him down.

Only 2 nights with 20 mins of crying and Bam! Done. DS slept through the night at 2/3 months And is a great sleeper now and has been the last 2 years. It's rare if he gets up in the middle of the night.

I agree that every child is different, but remember they also take their cues from mom and dad's behavior.

beaseg · December 2014

I did my best with routines and such, but I nursed DD when she wanted to nurse- so I was up with her at all hours of the night. For the first 4 weeks, she was awake more at night than during the day- and so was I. I was on mat leave, so it wasn't a big deal- but it was only working because I had no work and no other kids.

When I was preparing to return to work, I read babywise and generally agreed with a lot of it. It emphasizes the importance of your relationship with your SO and how it's fine and normal for a baby to cry and the parents need their sleep and baby has to learn how to self soothe. I totally agreed with it all, but could not actually bring myself to follow through on any of it. Neither could my husband. The longest stretch we ever let her cry was 6 minutes, and I was on the other side of the door weeping silently while my husband stared at his stopwatch and frowned. We were miserable, and for us what ended up working was co-sleeping.

At 7pm each night, we went to bed and I nursed her to sleep (usually was asleep by 7:45). Then hubby and I would watch tv in bed and chat quiety. We did this for FIFTEEN MONTHS. When she was ready, we knew. We laid her in the crib one night, and she slept 11 hours straight. Easy Peasy. But that will NOT work for the 2nd baby, and while we LOVED co-sleeping, I don't recommend it. But to each their own. Good luck!

stephaniesee · December 2014

@lgsdesigner I literally just screen shot that and added the sound machine to the registry. there is no way ill remember this stuff in may

I'm also adding all of these books to my amazon cart... panic is setting in

CTcoffeequeen · December 2014

My personal feeling is that the parents who say "it's not luck, it's hard work" are the lucky ones with the naturally good sleepers

It's so variant baby to baby. Look at adults-my husband and I have completely different sleeping habits.

I have tried many many methods with my 17 month old and he's only been sleeping through the night for a month. I didn't do anything differently-he was just finally ready. We did CIO, gentle methods, routines (still do). I have a friend with a baby 2 weeks older than mine and we were literally trying the same things on the same nights and getting totally opposite results. Do what you can to make bedtime as calm and relaxing as possible and then pray to God that you're one of the lucky ones with a good sleeper.

Snapdragon750 · December 2014

CTcoffeequeen said:

My personal feeling is that the parents who say "it's not luck, it's hard work" are the lucky ones with the naturally good sleepers It's so variant baby to baby. Look at adults-my husband and I have completely different sleeping habits. I have tried many many methods with my 17 month old and he's only been sleeping through the night for a month. I didn't do anything differently-he was just finally ready. We did CIO, gentle methods, routines (still do). I have a friend with a baby 2 weeks older than mine and we were literally trying the same things on the same nights and getting totally opposite results. Do what you can to make bedtime as calm and relaxing as possible and then pray to God that you're one of the lucky ones with a good sleeper.

I bought Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child when DD1 was about 6 weeks old. I logged her sleep, and it was about 11 total hours a day. Two weeks after reading the book and putting his advice into effect, she was sleeping 18 hours a day.

Yes, some babies are naturally good sleepers and their parents get all proud of themselves for no reason, but there ARE things you can do to help a bad sleeper become a good one, and some parents work very hard to make that happen.

LolaCachia · December 2014

Reading this thread is giving me major anxiety. What have I gotten myself into?!

happy924 · December 2014

lgutu28 said:
We used Babywise with my daughter and it was such a blessing for our family. We will definitely be doing it with baby #2 and all future kiddos. Honestly at this point it's so ingrained in how we parent that I couldn't imagine doing anything else. BW gets a bad rap because of people who aren't flexible with it. There will be times when your baby is hungry or sleepy off schedule and that's ok...consistency is key.

Along with the tips that PP posted, I will also add that staying away from feeding to sleep is big in BW as well. Setting up a eat, wake, sleep routine is important so that baby doesn't associate a bottle or boob with having to fall asleep. Why set up that sleep crutch when you will have to break it down the road?

My daughter fell into the BW routine pretty easily on her own and was STTN at about 8 weeks (8 hrs at 8 weeks and 12 hrs at 12 weeks). We never had to do any kind of CIO with her (another reason BW gets a bad rap) or really any sleep training because she was already used to the routine.

Feel free to PM me if you have any BW q's. Like I said...it was such a blessing to us and I am so passionate about it that I tend to be a little long winded.

Thank you. I just started reading BW so I will def PM you if I have questions.

Morenajuliet · December 2014

I think this is a good time to learn a bit about different methods- you won't want to read a whole book when you are sleep deprived!!

I only started reading about sleep training because I was having a hard time with my daughter not napping well. I realized a lot of what we did was already the Sleep Easy Method and in my current J14 mommy group a LOT of the ladies have used this method with success. I implemented it for her naps and she has been napping regularly since about 5 months.

I do think that my daughter is really good at falling into routines and though we try not to be militant about it, everyone is happier when she stays in a routine for the most part.

Good luck!

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