Please tell me I'm not alone...

JamieK1882 · December 2014

Hi ladies-I need support or to at least feel like I'm not alone here.

I'm worried that (as another bumpie put it), I have a "broken" baby. It seems like when LO is awake all she does is cry. I never seem to have a happy or content baby. She is either sleeping, eating, or crying. That's about it. It's driving DH and I batty.

-I don't think it's reflux or gas (have tried gas drops and doesn't seem to have reflux symptoms--rarely spits up).

-I read the definition of colic, and so far I don't think she meets that. What I read said cries >3 hours a day, 3 days a week, for at least 3 weeks. This crying nonstop seems to have really started just this past Tuesday, so I'm not sure it would meet the definition of colic (yet)?

-Before it seemed to be that she slept a lot of the day, but was mostly pleasant when awake (during the day). Her "witching hour" seemed to start around 7-7:30pm. Now, I don't know if it's just because she is awake more or what, but she seems upset during the day as well.

-Also, and why I don't think it is colic, she can somewhat be calmed down (usually) by being held. From my understanding, there is no soothing a colicky baby. So does this mean I just have a spoiled baby? Everyone says you can't spoil a baby this early, but mine constantly needs held. (I WILL say, however, that she does sleep at night in her crib and not on us, so that is at least good)<--and I probably just jinxed myself there.

-She USED to give us a 4 hour, then 3 hour stretch at night. Since Monday of this week, it has been up every 2 hours, max 3, to eat.

So I'm wondering...could it be a growth spurt (she is 5 weeks today)? A side effect from her Hep B shot she had on Monday at her 1month appt? Or is she just a cranky baby?

I have to admit, I'm very jealous of the posts on here where everyone talks about their sweet baby or I see pics on the fb group of smiling or happy babies. Mine never seems happy. Am I alone here? Does anyone else experience this? Should I call pedi?

I'm so sorry for the rambling. My thoughts are all over the place and I just want my baby to be happy. : (

Dumbgurl04 · December 2014

I would say it is the start of the 6 week growth spurt. My LO acted a lot like that starting around the 5 week mark (especially after the her 1 month where she got a shot) She was super whiny and cried a lot, barely slept we couldn't set her down because she wanted to be held ALL THE TIME. So I would say it's the start of the growth spurt

missnacholover · December 2014

Sounds like a growth spurt. But if you feel like you want to call the pedi, I see no harm in giving him/her a call.

Hang in there!

lizzielu82 · December 2014

I'm so sorry! Sounds like you are working very hard with little reward.

It'd probably be hard to read a whole book at this point, but I found that the "5 S's" from the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" really do work well in soothing. You can google videos on techniques, but they helped us a lot when LO was sick and almost inconsolable leading up to our 2nd hospital visit.

Hang in there and I'm sorry it's been so hard! Xo

BridgetThoams · December 2014

My LO did the same thing, went from happy baby to angry baby! Lasted just over a week and now he is back to his happy self.
Good luck mama! You are doing great!

pixie523 · December 2014

Not alone. I love my baby, but this is hard and she's not an easy going baby. She's 4 weeks old (mobile bumper here, no sig) and we have good days and bad days. Good days? She sits nicely in a contraption for 10 minutes or will allow her daddy to soothe her. All the rest are hard "bad" days. She doesn't smile yet. She needs to be held or jiggled constantly. It's a lot of work. Not to mention the hell that is bedtime and trying to get her into her bed.

We went to the pediatrician yesterday for a weight check. I asked if maybe my LO had reflux? Colic? Nope. She's just kind of a jerk and the diagnosis was newborn.

Hang in there. You're not alone and this is temporary. Soon we'll get smiles and longer sleep stretches and it'll get better!

Cici3913 · December 2014

You're not alone, I only have small windows of happy times with my baby. She hates tummy time, she hates laying on her back. The only time she's really happy is if she is sitting in her bouncer being bounced it when she's being bounced on my leg. Other than that she's sleeping.

mamaluzi · December 2014

No experience here, but found these articles a while back....does this sound like your kiddo?

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/high-needs-baby?doing_wp_cron=1418914190.3668949604034423828125

Good luck, mama! Everything will work out in the end, I'm sure...T&Ps!

BrittG13 · December 2014

@pixie523‌ I could have written that. Super fussy but will quiet if being jiggled or bounced. Which I guess is great that he quiets but I can't hold/bounce 24/7...mom needs a break.

Also, it's SUPER AWESOME when my baby is quiet angel for literally everyone but me. It makes me feel like a total failure. Like everyone else knows his needs better then me.

TeeJ526 · December 2014

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I have to say that when I read this I said, "Wow, someone like me." My LO is 7 and a half weeks old and like you, unless she's eating or sleeping, she's crying. Now with that said, DH and In resolve the crying by holding her, but carrying her around nearly 24/7 is exhausting. I also get jealous when I see other people's photos of cooing and happy babies or when I hear that they're snuggling with their baby on the sofa or wherever.

harmonicbabe26 · December 2014

This totally

pixie523 said:
Not alone. I love my baby, but this is hard and she's not an easy going baby. She's 4 weeks old (mobile bumper here, no sig) and we have good days and bad days. Good days? She sits nicely in a contraption for 10 minutes or will allow her daddy to soothe her. All the rest are hard "bad" days. She doesn't smile yet. She needs to be held or jiggled constantly. It's a lot of work. Not to mention the hell that is bedtime and trying to get her into her bed.

We went to the pediatrician yesterday for a weight check. I asked if maybe my LO had reflux? Colic? Nope. She's just kind of a jerk and the diagnosis was newborn.

Hang in there. You're not alone and this is temporary. Soon we'll get smiles and longer sleep stretches and it'll get better!

This is us too minus letting daddy soothe her. And this is my SECOND child who is like this. Ughh. I HATE HATE HATE the newborn phase. Honestly if we could go straight to being 6mo i would be sooo much happier... No amount of newborn cuddles compensates for this.

JamieK1882 · December 2014

Thanks everyone. Glad to hear at least I'm not alone. It's sad, but last night DH and I were both like "we can't wait until she grows out of this" yet at the same time we feel bad wishing the time away.

I'm HOPING this is just a growth spurt, but I don't know. It started last Saturday, but we didn't notice it Sunday because it was her baptism and she was held all day. Then Monday it started back up. I do have a call into the pediatrician but I don't have high hopes they'll really do or say anything to help me.

I guess if this was a growth spurt, though, I thought it would be over by now? From what I've read other people say, it seems like they usually only last a few days? We're going on a week now...

JamieK1882 · December 2014

@knitsmagee‌ thanks. I hope this phase passes for us too!

@Econosaurus‌ I know I'm so worried that LO won't grow out of this and will just be an unhappy child. Hopefully were wrong and this will pass.

JamieK1882 · December 2014

So the nurse from the pedi office just called back and said that maybe we are holding her too much and she has just gotten used to being held? WTAF? I thought you COULDNT spoil a newborn and now I have?

We are going in at 5:15pm to discuss "strategies,"

Awesome and now I feel like a total freaking failure as a mother.

moroccojade · December 2014

My new baby is a lot fussier than my first. It escalated to being downright miserable when she ate.

I had enough. It was breaking my heart to see her so unhappy. So I took her to the chiropractor yesterday. The results were instant. Her naps went on a little long after but it seems it was because she was so relaxed and that some of her pain was relieved. So I didn't care. We haven't had one angry feed since the appt. no way that can be a fluke.

We have more appts coming up and I can't wait. The chiro ttreated me through pregnancy and it's like the baby knows her.

She had no problem with the treatment. It was all so gentle and sweet.

I don't think any of us gave birth to a jerk. But birth is traumatic. Their bones, muscles and joints experience pain just as ours do. I'm so glad there are professionals that can actually help. Unfortunately, regular doctors rarely can help with this.

ssstephanie214 · December 2014

When my baby gets like this I try to remember that the world is really overwhelming for her at 5 weeks. Makes sense that she quiets down when I strap her to me in the ergo and walk around, sometimes with a blanket over her head. She misses the womb!

I know you've tried everything, and I really feel for you. You'll get through it and everyone knows you love her.

TeeJ526 · December 2014

@JamieK1882 You're not a failure and I'm sorry the nurse suggested you're holding your LO too much. I'd be curious about what strategies your pedi has in mind.

NunyaBennis · December 2014

JamieK1882 said:
So the nurse from the pedi office just called back and said that maybe we are holding her too much and she has just gotten used to being held? WTAF? I thought you COULDNT spoil a newborn and now I have?

We are going in at 5:15pm to discuss "strategies,"

Awesome and now I feel like a total freaking failure as a mother.

What? Oh, nooooo. I'm doomed! Update us on these strategies indeed...

ElinJ · December 2014

harmonicbabe26 said:

This totally
Not alone. I love my baby, but this is hard and she's not an easy going baby. She's 4 weeks old (mobile bumper here, no sig) and we have good days and bad days. Good days? She sits nicely in a contraption for 10 minutes or will allow her daddy to soothe her. All the rest are hard "bad" days. She doesn't smile yet. She needs to be held or jiggled constantly. It's a lot of work. Not to mention the hell that is bedtime and trying to get her into her bed. We went to the pediatrician yesterday for a weight check. I asked if maybe my LO had reflux? Colic? Nope. She's just kind of a jerk and the diagnosis was newborn. Hang in there. You're not alone and this is temporary. Soon we'll get smiles and longer sleep stretches and it'll get better!
This is us too minus letting daddy soothe her. And this is my SECOND child who is like this. Ughh. I HATE HATE HATE the newborn phase. Honestly if we could go straight to being 6mo i would be sooo much happier... No amount of newborn cuddles compensates for this.

ME TOO! I want to slap all my friends who told me second baby was easier. Granted, this second baby might be a LITTLE easier than the first, but still lots of crying, constant holding, (will only sleep being held), won't sit in swing or bouncy seat more than 10 min MAX. My solution is just WEAR THE BABY ALL THE TIME. I don't care if it spoils her, I can't stand the screaming. My baby is getting close to 7 weeks, and I think we are starting to have actual windows of happiness, but they are brief. Hang in there. It DOES get better. I remember wishing time would hurry up when my first was like this. This time I am not doing that, just doing what I can to survive, & snuggling her when she's sleeping. (Don't get me wrong, I've had crying breakdowns because I can't set her down to clean, cook, etc. Let ALONE do something for myself!)

Maelara · December 2014

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way

it really does sound like a growth spurt and they can last up to a week. If it started last Saturday, then you still have a couple days left. You can't spoil a baby, that nurse is giving you bad advice. Just remember, our babies are used to being held 24/7 while inside us. This is all new and scary to them too! I highly suggest getting a Moby (or whatever floats your boat) and wear her. Its the only way I'm surviving an extremely fussy baby and 18 month old right now. The baby loves being so close.

You are not a failure as a mom. I promise! Newborns are so hard. You are doing great

JamieK1882 · December 2014

thanks. Today she has been sleeping and eating all day. Really really hoping it is the growth spurt and my child just isn't an unhappy baby in general. If I know it's something that will pass, I can get through it. However, thinking she might always be this unhappy for weeks to months makes me want to cry.

Will definitely post an update after our appt.

JamieK1882 · December 2014

Well didn't really get any answers at the pedi. She is healthy which is good. They gave me a lactaid-type supplement to try in her bottle to see if she's having trouble digesting my milk. Next step is for me to eliminate dairy from my diet. Said she might just be colicky-not really sure. They didn't say anything about holding her too much though which is good. I just wish I had answers-this is so frustrating : /

Alid86 · December 2014

I could have written this post! Your not alone momma - I'm holding onto the hope that this will pass and we will forget how it was! that said I have cried my fair share and wondered what the heck I did - life was easy with DD who is 3 and my hubby and me. That being said I love this little person and need to remind myself over and over that every day he is one day older! He will be 5 weeks Sunday! Thank you for this post though because I totally felt alone in this as well! Even people I know with babies here seem happy and to have it together but who knows what goes on behind closed doors I guess!

alharper07 · December 2014

Long time lurker here, but I had to jump in. I don't think it's anything you've done or that there's anything wrong with your baby. Newborns just like to be held. They go from being in your womb (the perfect environment) to a cold, loud, crazy world where the only thing that seems relatively normal is your smell, sound and warmth. I've even read about the first 12 weeks after delivery is the fourth trimester (and not just for moms). Of course, some babies may be OK being alone for short periods of time, but generally, I'd say it's just natural for them to want to be held 24/7. As PPs have said, get a Moby or something similar. I've got a near two year old as well and no way would I survive without mine!

AlliJeee · December 2014

Oh man, my LO is 3 weeks old...I'm scared....

kstirton · December 2014

4 weeks old here, you are not alone! I too thought something was wrong with my baby that was causing her to cry. The ped put her on zantac but I wasn't 100% convinced she had reflux as the fussiness hasn't really subsided. I think their little digestive systems just bother them at this age and they don't really have any other way of reacting then to cry. It does help to know we aren't alone though!

momtojad · December 2014

My first wouldn't sleep more than 45minutes at a clip till he was nine months old but was generally happy. This one is pissed off and sleep for veryblong stretches, I dont know which is better

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