Irrational, hormonal venting

loriann091 · December 2014

I'm probably going to sound like a mega bitch here, but I just have to get this off my chest to people who may understand.

I understand that as pregnant women we aren't supposed to/cannot do things like we used to (ie., standing on chairs to reach things, lifting heavy objects, etc). However, am I the only one annoyed with how other people react whenever you do something normal that you are completely capable of doing?!

Two examples:

1. I was the DD for my hubby and BIL one night, and my BIL asked me if he could use the phone in the car because he wasn't sure if "being pregnant impaired my ability to drive." He was being 100% serious (not sarcastic/joking).

2. A teacher at work will not let me carry anything! Today she took 2 Kleenex boxes and a ream of paper out of my hands because it "looked like it was too much for me." Kleenex. And paper.

These are just the ones that happened recently. There are many others.

I know I sound ungrateful, but I hate feeling handicapped and like a charity case. Sure, you can lift the 5-gallon jug of water for me but I'm pretty sure I can carry paper.

Maybe I'm the only one. And maybe I should just suck it up and appreciate the help. Meh. Hormones.

JessicaH1020 · December 2014

THIS. My office went out for our Christmas lunch and when I said that I was thinking about ordering the fish tacos, my coworkers reacted as though I said I was going to take body shots. Even though the kind of fish listed is totally safe to eat while pregnant, I wound up getting a stupid quesadilla just to stop the judgmental stares.

Yesterday I wore heels to the office and you would think I was walking around with a bomb attached to my midsection. I was told to take them off, I was hurting the baby (?!?).

I just want to get a t-shirt made that says "I'm pregnant, not handicapped."

chickyclg · December 2014

The only thing that ever got under my skin was everyone telling me to take it easy (including my 6yr old niece).

chicagojackie · December 2014

Somewhere along the line people got the idea they could counsel pregnant women like we are big, adult sized children, not adults carrying a child.

It gets old, fast. Hang in there.

bhjones1980 · December 2014

nobody cares this go round, with DS if I lifted anything heavier than a book I had people commenting about how to be careful and asking if they could help.

second kid..... suck it up!

tee18 · December 2014

I'm actually getting the opposite from my family! This was my dh last weekend "hey can you help me carry this dresser upstairs?"

I've been questioned by some friends for having a cup of coffee at brunch.

MissEm15 · December 2014

I can't stand it either. & now that I'm on bed rest bc of discordance everyone is being so annoying about me taking it easy and eating a lot.

lexi8990 · December 2014

I get both reactions.... if I complain about something being too heavy for me to carry my BF does the "he's pissed at me" sigh and carries it for me, but honestly I have somewhat of a reason to complain...I carry an almost 10 pound backpack around throughout the day.. but my friends on the other hand won't even allow me to drink a caffeine free drink I get from Starbucks

chickyclg · December 2014

Oh on the caffeine subject, it is rare that I drink caffeinated drinks but damn it if I want a freaking Coke or Dr. Pepper, you better not say a damn word.

dacora · December 2014

I had to educate my mother on the fact that caffeine isn't completely banned during pregnancy any more, like it was when she was pregnant with me. She also won't let me carry anything... It sort of depends on my mood on whether it annoys me or not. My husband brought all the groceries in the other night so I wouldn't have to be out in the cold, which I thought was sweet.

wirtlehm · December 2014

@dacora, my DH limits me to 1 grocery bag at a time and last time DID tell me that I didn't have to help since it was so cold out... however I would have felt bad making him bring in $300 worth of groceries by himself hahaha...

@chickyclg, I'm right there w you. I typically don't drink caffeine, maybe once a day on the weekends... occasionally if they're out of Sprite at work I'll get a Coke or Pepsi and I DARE someone to say something to me! I cut out coffee and a daily coke so if I want one 2-3 times a week you can kiss my pregnant ass!

@loriann091, I don't think that you're being irrationally pissy! Hell you should have seen me yesterday! BITCH CITY over here, granted thank God my husband was riding that train with me so he didn't seem too affected by my constant bitchfest (ahhh, extended/estranged family issues!)!

pitdigger · December 2014

I have been restricted from lifting things to help set up the mini rugby and am pretty much just working the food and registration stand. My revenge is making everyone do math for me. But seriously, last week I couldn't even drag something over to the table; they got one of the U17s to haul it over. I was like: "I'm still lifting weights that are heavier than this bin." And they're like: "You'll have enough to cart around soon." It annoys me, but I roll with it.

My consolation is that once this pregnancy is over, I get to get back to contact and contact coaching.

misshart00 · December 2014

I drink way too much caffeine. But I'm getting better. And I agree with @tee18‌. I'm picking up the 20 pound toddler even though it kills my back but no one offers to help with that.

mirigirl · December 2014

Omg on the caffeine note, people are SO judgey!

I was grabbing a small cup of coffee at my church's coffee bar on Sunday and the lady behind the counter stepped out so she could see if I had a baby bump. When she confirmed it, she gave me a super judgey glare. Pissed.me.off

lizjennings81 · December 2014

At my friendly neighborhood Starbucks (don't get me wrong, I love those baristas and they seem to like me), I got caffeine-policed on Monday. I asked for something, the cashier eyes my belly, and then says, "Sure you don't want decaf?" I just laughed.

My mom was impossible the weekend of my shower. To the point where when I reached up to help my sister with a banner, she freaked. I finally had to say, "You're driving me insane. I'm not angry now, but I will be if you don't stop." She calmed down after that.

misshart00 · December 2014

Either people don't really side eye my caffeine intake or I'm just oblivious. Edit: except a couple nights ago. I was having a dr pepper and someone said "you're going to teach him to stay up all night."

Oem617 · December 2014

The most annoying thing to me is the question "How are you feeling?" with a sad looking face. I'm fine people. Fine! Leave me alone.

cloe111479 · December 2014

Oem617 said:

The most annoying thing to me is the question "How are you feeling?" with a sad looking face. I'm fine people. Fine! Leave me alone.

I HATE that one too. It's daily in my office. I guess I am throwing them off by being nice, not bitchy, and whiny. (as a previous employee who was preg was) But I am not an invalid. I am really totally fine. I can still function and will not go 0 to bitch in seconds.

agm04 · December 2014

Oh lord DH and I have this fight like 3x a week right now. Every time I lift a box (we're mid moving), no matter how light, or stand on a stool, he's like "CAREFUL!!!" Yeah no shit, thanks, got it. Last weekend he careful x3'd me, and I thought he was just doing what he always does (I was on a stool) and it turned out he was trying to alert me that I was about to drop something (I did drop it). He's all "I warned you!" and I was like "well your 'careful' doesn't mean anything to me anymore bc it's so overused!

I try to remind myself that people have good intentions, but it rubs me the wrong way, bc it feels like the implication is that left to my own devices I'd do all these things that harm my baby. Whew thanks for this thread, that felt good.

MommyOfAMiracle · December 2014

My annoying thing is when I say something around my mom about my back hurting or being winded, the response I get is, "OH! You just WAIT! This is nothing, yet!!" <enter evil laugh>

I get it. You've had 4 kids, (two at once). I know you are all pro at this pregnancy thing and I know it's going to probably get a lot more painful. But I don't need to be reminded.

My DH on the other hand. It's like nothing has changed, other than the occasional comment on my waddle or belly size.

dacora · December 2014

MommyOfAMiracle said:

My annoying thing is when I say something around my mom about my back hurting or being winded, the response I get is, "OH! You just WAIT! This is nothing, yet!!" <enter evil laugh>

I get it. You've had 4 kids, (two at once). I know you are all pro at this pregnancy thing and I know it's going to probably get a lot more painful. But I don't need to be reminded.

My DH on the other hand. It's like nothing has changed, other than the occasional comment on my waddle or belly size.

YES, God forbid I comment on anything bothering me. I know it's going to get worse, that doesn't make it a freaking cakewalk right this second.

CogDis · December 2014

My most recent annoying experience of this was when flying on Monday. I tried to lift my carry-on luggage into the overhead bin and struggled because 3 different men were trying to grab it out if my hands to "help". Fuc- it was annoying and awkward (especially being as huge as I am, in the little tiny airplane aisle and 3 men are coming into my f-ing space to "help").

The Most annoying experience of this involved my idiot friend who I was meeting up with in Vegas around 28wks preggo to go to her wedding (that she selfishly moved to a different location 1 month prior after people had already bought tickets and hotels in Vegas - long story). Anyway, while the wedding was still on and She was constantly complaining about how I was the only friend of hers going she kept saying over and over again about how much it sucked that I was pregnant as if I was somehow f-ing less of a person because of it or something. I wanted to slap her! She should have been grateful that I was willing to go spend the money to support her and travel when 28wks pregnant. If I could have canceled my ticket and gotten a refund, I would have, times a million!

twinklymama · December 2014

bhjones1980 said:
nobody cares this go round, with DS if I lifted anything heavier than a book I had people commenting about how to be careful and asking if they could help.

second kid..... suck it up!

Yep, second kid, no one cares.

Story: DD1 and DD2 are 15 months apart. When I was VERY pregnant with DD2, I took DD1 to the mall to have her 1 year pics taken. We had a mini recliner looking chair to use as a prop for the photo. I took her by myself while my then-husband was at work. We went into the mall (no parking close to the Picture People) with DD1 in her stroller and me carrying this chair halfway through the mall. No one else going in or out opened any doors for us. Sad. We had the session, and since you wait the hour or less for your photos with Picture People, DD1 and I took the chair back to the car to help pass the time. Again, no one around us held open any doors.
At the time we were supposed to view the session, they told me that the photos were destroyed before printing (11 yrs ago when not everything was digital), and they offered to do the session again for free. Okay, I'm down with free pics! So we went BACK to the car and hauled the damn chair in again (No one holding any doors open YET AGAIN), did the session, damn chair back to the car, this time kid on my VERY PREGNANT hip, chair teetering dangerously on the stroller... Still had to open all the damn doors!! (At this point, I'm cursing not only all the inconsiderate a-holes around me, but myself, as I chose the wrong NON-AUTOMATIC doors to park near). If I had thought to, I would have asked the Picture People people to help me take the chair back to the car again, seeing as they were the reason I had to haul it in and out twice.

Yeah, people figure if you have one kid already, you can do it all yourself. Oh, and people can be really inconsiderate.

dreemkin84 · December 2014

I am sick of the "how r u feeling" questions too. I usually just say "good" to end the convo.

SquirrelsRWatching · December 2014

Right there with you ladies.

I'm a clerical, and every clerical at work has a cart to move cases around the units. I've never used the cart; I think they just slow me down. I still don't use the cart, unless I have a particularly big case to transport. I'm always getting comments from people: "Where's your cart?!?!"

I'm perfectly capable of judging if the load in my hands is too heavy to carry!!!

hollydenton · December 2014

Oh my gosh this drives me insane. I really appreciate everyones concern but come on. DH has been the worst one too. He is constantly freaking out over me lifting anything. He wouldn't let me lift the laundry detergent the other day to start a load in the wash. Seriously!?

lizjennings81 · December 2014

KristinMTBell said:

lizjennings81 said:

At my friendly neighborhood Starbucks (don't get me wrong, I love those baristas and they seem to like me), I got caffeine-policed on Monday. I asked for something, the cashier eyes my belly, and then says, "Sure you don't want decaf?" I just laughed.

My mom was impossible the weekend of my shower. To the point where when I reached up to help my sister with a banner, she freaked. I finally had to say, "You're driving me insane. I'm not angry now, but I will be if you don't stop." She calmed down after that.

*************STUCK IN BOX********************

The Starbucks thing would really piss me off. I have no tolerance for the phrase "Are you sure..." Yes, I'm sure I want some caffeine. Yes, I'm sure I can eat this cheese. Yes, I'm sure the research I have done and all of my OB's recommendations make me more informed than the random stranger talking to me. In fact, I'm sure that I'm just fat and not pregnant, if that makes you feel better.

Sorry. Got angry there.

Eh, she's about 15 years younger than I am. She probably only knows what she's heard. If it were my ILs or my parents? Then yes, I'd get annoyed, but that's mostly because I feel comfortable telling them off. A 20-year-old woman who greets me by name every morning? Not worth the stress.

Amee12 · December 2014

People drive me insane with the how are you feeling? I can't believe your still working? Really?! I'm fine not sick or dying AND I have 8wks left so I'm capable of siting at my desk.
Then there is DH who expects me to keep going at my same crazy organized pace! Glad I'm not the only one who has been irritated.

Beth.1212 · December 2014

This does drive me a little crazy. The one who does it to me the most is my dad. DH and I were moving furniture around our house the other weekend with the help of some family and friends, and I was avoiding anything heavy. I was mostly on cleaning duty

He saw me carrying the vacuum upstairs and freaked out that I was carrying it. Um, who do you think vacuum's this house every week? He also told me he didn't want me carrying individual drawers from one room into another. I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm pregnant, not infirm!

loriann091 · December 2014

Amee12 said:
People drive me insane with the how are you feeling? I can't believe your still working? Really?! I'm fine not sick or dying AND I have 8wks left so I'm capable of siting at my desk.
Then there is DH who expects me to keep going at my same crazy organized pace! Glad I'm not the only one who has been irritated.

Yes! The "how are you feeling" sad face question. It's almost worse! Even more so, if someone ever says they aren't feeling well or whatnot they quickly say "Well who am I talking to? I shouldn't complain!" Um, no, you're allowed to not feel well. I knew what I was getting into when I got pregnant and I feel fine for the most part. Just because I had sex doesn't mean you can't complain about your cold.

Dani_Love · December 2014

Ugh I'm having the same issues! Dh won't let me take laundry downstairs because it's too heavy or let me load or unload the laundry because the cat box is in there. Can't help with groceries and any time I rest my eyes my husband thinks I'm about to faint.

I have hg, had it last time too, and everyone asks me "are you still throwing up?" I can puke up to 30 times a day if I'm unmedicated. Not that it's their business but yes, I will throw up everyday until this little guy comes out, I will be medicated everyday, yes it sucks. Then they have the balls to ask if I'm done having kids since I get so sick and have a girl and a boy coming.

mels823 · December 2014

It drove me crazy at first, but I can't lie... I've learned to embrace it! I can't Imagine so many people wanting to baby me happening for a long time. At our work Christmas party last night guess who got first dibs on all the food? Me! If my coworkers want to make me a hot chocolate so I don't have to walk 30 feet across the office... Sure freakin thing! Replacing printer paper? Sure I will let you do that for me! I know it will be over soon so I'm going to enjoy this while it lasts lol

jeanzcarol · December 2014

My coworkers treat me like I'm dying. They always tell me I haven't had enough water or ask how much I've drank in a given day. Then in the afternoon they want to know if I've been sitting too long. And eventually they tell me I can't work too many hours. So, I used to be mad... And now I am milking every second of it... "Oh, you're so right. I shouldn't work such a long day so I'm going to head out around 3. Thanks for looking out for me!"

If you can't beat em, join em.

flyster · December 2014

I haven't had this too badly. DH isn't great about realizing when I need help with stuff unless I tell him, but then usually he doesn't make faces anymore like he was a month or so ago. He has been very sweet anytime there is snow/ice and cleaned my car off before he leaves. Thats New England love.

loriann091 · December 2014

@mels823‌ and @jeanzcarol‌ you two are doing it right! I need to get to that place lol - I should be soaking it up bc I know it won't last much longer. The only person who DOESN'T drive me crazy is DH. He loves doing stuff for me and I think it's sweet so I let him. But he was that way before, too. It's all the other crazies...

SquirrelsRWatching · December 2014

Amee12 said:

People drive me insane with the how are you feeling? I can't believe your still working? Really?! I'm fine not sick or dying AND I have 8wks left so I'm capable of siting at my desk. Then there is DH who expects me to keep going at my same crazy organized pace! Glad I'm not the only one who has been irritated.

My husband usually only helps out when I flat out say, "I just can't do it!" usually laughing out of pity as I try to reach the baby socks out of the bottom of our top-load washing machine. The only thing he ever scolded me for was eating cookie dough out of the freezer.

kerrycharpe · December 2014

DH and DD have no problem letting me carry things, but strangers drive me crazy. I feel like there's no right answer I can give them. Everyone keeps telling me to "take care of myself" and that I need to be relaxing. If I don't do anything all day I can't sleep and am SO restless! What does "take care of yourself" even mean, and why must they ask it condescendingly like I need to be reminded?

mamabisme · December 2014

Some lady at WalMart told me I needed to go home and lay down with legit concern in her voice. I was just standing in a short line holding one small item (an action figure). She then asked me how far along I am and when I told her I thought she may explode right there in front of me. Apparently I am "tiny," (I get it a lot) and she was not expecting me to be anywhere near the 30 weeks I am. So, I guess I should've just climbed in to bed the moment I got my BFP and not emerged until I had a baby? I don't think my kids would tolerate that. Sounds nice though.

mamabisme · December 2014

dreemkin84 said:
I am sick of the "how r u feeling" questions too. I usually just say "good" to end the convo.

I hate the way this question is always asked with a certain tone/look. My mother was diagnosed with cancer after DD1 was born (she's been in remission for 4 years now) and it's the same look/tone I've seen so may people use when asking her how she was feeling when she was sick. Come on people! I'm pregnant, not dying. Regardless of how good or bad I am feeling at this moment it is not that serious! Stop with the the pity.

anxiousmommy85 · December 2014

The one that's getting me is, "Oh honey, you aren't going to make it to your due date." Yes my baby is a big girl, little bigger than average, but not big enough for my doctor to be concerned, but I don't have a history of premature babies. And I've only gained 15 lbs. I'm not that big.

Maple403 · December 2014

I am happy that most people don't baby me. I work in an office with a lot of people who have small kids though, so I think they are pretty savvy. My h doesn't crowd me, but is ready to help if I need it. Lately as I've gotten bigger people are starting to treat me a little bit more like I'm fragile, but not too much. I guess I can't really complain- id be super annoyed if people tried to boss me around or make decisions for me!

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