SOS

bumpuser10331514 · December 2014

So...the H gives me a hard time for going to bed at 7:30 (usual bedtime is 8 due to my great schedule) bc I'm exhausted. The culmination of 4 nights of 5 hrs of sleep. He turns on the light when he puts DS down. He's super loud in spite of me and DD sleeping. Then when DS starts making noises around 9, he drops him off into bed with me where he begins kicking my head repeatedly with his little baby feet. Eventually the H comes to bed and sits on his phone while said kicking and laughing continue. After H's failure to act, I take DS back to his bed. DD proceeds to wake up Two more times at night. Both times the H wants me to feed her. Then, bc I'm up, he puts his arm around me for some "romance." AYFKM? That's "are you fing kidding me?" for future reference. I'll be using that often.

shannm · December 2014

Your husband is an immature jerk.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

I think it's time to sit down and talk with him about parenting being 50/50.

Vocalize that you are desperate for one night of good sleep. He needs to give you what you need. To him, sex may be very important but your needs (sleep for quality of life) are also extremely important.

DH learned early on to NEVER wake me for romance.

ErinO21 · December 2014

Some men just don't get it. Mine goes through phases like this where is completely oblivious to what all having a child entails and the impact it has on my being tired. That's when I just have to start asking for help.

MommyAtty · December 2014

I was out of town Thursday and Friday. On Thursday night, as I'm falling asleep in my hotel room, DH texts that he forgot he has a half-marathon this weekend in a nearby town, so he's made reservations at a hotel for us. Um, where will the kids be? With us. Okay, you do recall they both sleep in cribs, right? Oh. He got a suite with 2 King beds. Won't that work? Um, no. AYFKM??? So I spent Saturday night with the kids in bed with me, both awake almost all night. The 2 yo was afraid to be in a strange room and the baby couldn't sleep in the travel crib the hotel provided. Now add to that I'm running a meeting all day tomorrow that will have a huge impact on my promotion potential and really could have used some rest time and time to prep. Aaaakkkk!

DiveFrog · December 2014

DH is seriously annoying me about Christmas....Everyday he is going on and on about the list I gave him not being 'good enough' and how much trouble he is having determining a gift for me. At first blush this is a great sign that DH is thoughtful and this great guy for wanting to get me a spectacular gift.

However, all I hear is "woe is me, I'm having all this stress about one gift". Meanwhile I am decorating the entire house, shopping for my family's gifts, his family's gifts, our friends gifts, hostess gift for his friend's holiday party, planning our holiday meal menu's and shopping for all the food for said menu's. I haven't even gotten to wrapping any of the gifts yet which he will also not help with (he always has his mother wrap my gift) and the baking that needs to get done as well.

Seriously, He LOVES Christmas but never wants to do any of the work other than maybe putting up decorations outside and cutting down our tree and putting it up in the stand.

KayteeGee · December 2014

DiveFrog said:
DH is seriously annoying me about Christmas....Everyday he is going on and on about the list I gave him not being 'good enough' and how much trouble he is having determining a gift for me. At first blush this is a great sign that DH is thoughtful and this great guy for wanting to get me a spectacular gift.

However, all I hear is "woe is me, I'm having all this stress about one gift". Meanwhile I am decorating the entire house, shopping for my family's gifts, his family's gifts, our friends gifts, hostess gift for his friend's holiday party, planning our holiday meal menu's and shopping for all the food for said menu's. I haven't even gotten to wrapping any of the gifts yet which he will also not help with (he always has his mother wrap my gift) and the baking that needs to get done as well.

Seriously, He LOVES Christmas but never wants to do any of the work other than maybe putting up decorations outside and cutting down our tree and putting it up in the stand.

Yep. This kind of stuff is why I now hate the holidays.

KayteeGee · December 2014

My BFF has this wonderful but awful habit of sending us cookies. Like the big soft thickly iced with buttercream sugar cookies. Wonderful because they are DELISH. Awful because I am having a very hard time losing the weight from DD. and girls, there's no way around it. I am FAT right now. And weight has always been an issue for me but I have never been like this before and it is really hard.
So DH is trying to help because he knows I am upset about my weight.
BFF sent us a box for thanksgiving. 1/2 way through he took them to his office. Okay fine, it's just the two of us and I really don't need them around.
Last week (thurs) we get a big box for Xmas. I shelve them without opening because we have my parents and two brothers coming to visit for Xmas plus my other friend and her family coming for Xmas dinner. I tell DH - don't touch the cookies up here they're for entertaining.
Last night as I'm getting ready for the week I see - cookies are gone.
HE TOOK THEM TO THE OFFICE THE NEXT DAY. THE VERY DAY AFTER I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE THEM ALONE.
he tells me: I just didn't think you needed them around the house; we can buy more.
Sure, DH, I can buy shitty grocery store cookies, but I can't just swing by a bakery and buy 36 gorgeous iced cookies suitable for guests. Now that's one more thing I have to add to my already-too-long holiday list.
And also - I just had your baby in September. Deal with me fat and love me for it (and really he does, he is just trying to help)
And yes, I get that I'm totally irrational about cookies. And no, I didn't vent like this to him.

Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.

2chatter · December 2014

DH is in NY. He left at 7:30 yesterday. At 2:30 today two out of three kids have dr. appointments. I also have to take the well child. This involves waking the youngest from nap at DC (no fever, he's there), pulling the oldest from a station that will determine A or B or C grade on report card and dragging the well one into the germ infested ped's office.

If DH were in town this week OR if he were here yesterday I could have done Urgent Care - but no way was I taking all three kids by myself to Urgent Care and skipping my evening out. It would be nice if DH wasn't travelling non stop before the holidays and over weekends.

bumpuser10331514 · December 2014

DiveFrog said:

DH is seriously annoying me about Christmas....Everyday he is going on and on about the list I gave him not being 'good enough' and how much trouble he is having determining a gift for me. At first blush this is a great sign that DH is thoughtful and this great guy for wanting to get me a spectacular gift.

However, all I hear is "woe is me, I'm having all this stress about one gift". Meanwhile I am decorating the entire house, shopping for my family's gifts, his family's gifts, our friends gifts, hostess gift for his friend's holiday party, planning our holiday meal menu's and shopping for all the food for said menu's. I haven't even gotten to wrapping any of the gifts yet which he will also not help with (he always has his mother wrap my gift) and the baking that needs to get done as well.

Seriously, He LOVES Christmas but never wants to do any of the work other than maybe putting up decorations outside and cutting down our tree and putting it up in the stand.

No wonder he loves Christmas.

DiveFrog · December 2014

socialmediamommy said:

KayteeGee said:

DH is seriously annoying me about Christmas....Everyday he is going on and on about the list I gave him not being 'good enough' and how much trouble he is having determining a gift for me. At first blush this is a great sign that DH is thoughtful and this great guy for wanting to get me a spectacular gift.

However, all I hear is "woe is me, I'm having all this stress about one gift". Meanwhile I am decorating the entire house, shopping for my family's gifts, his family's gifts, our friends gifts, hostess gift for his friend's holiday party, planning our holiday meal menu's and shopping for all the food for said menu's. I haven't even gotten to wrapping any of the gifts yet which he will also not help with (he always has his mother wrap my gift) and the baking that needs to get done as well.

Seriously, He LOVES Christmas but never wants to do any of the work other than maybe putting up decorations outside and cutting down our tree and putting it up in the stand.
Yep. This kind of stuff is why I now hate the holidays.

Double yup. My mom told me today I sound "frazzled." Gee, wonder why mom. Maybe because my husband has yet to lift a finger doing anything holiday related and we're hosting Christmas breakfast and dinner....

I was ready to smack DH when he said "How hard is it to buy a train? Just go to Toys R Us and get it. Why can't you do that?" My response was "Oh, right, when I get an extra 45 minutes in my day without children around, I'll just pop on over and do that. So easy!" *stab stab*

DH thinks that shopping should take me about 5min. since I buy about 90+% of gifts online. Umm, no, just no. It still takes a long time. Sure, I save drive and parking time, but I still have to search, compare prices, browse a ton for those people I don't know what to get. And I CAN NOT do it when I have DD, you just can't be devoted and focused on something other than her when she is around unless you are willing for the house to be destroyed/flooded/set on fire, or end up in the ER because she climbed/flung herself off some high surface.

DiveFrog · December 2014

SomebabiesMom said: DiveFrog said: DH is seriously annoying me about Christmas....Everyday he is going on and on about the list I gave him not being 'good enough' and how much trouble he is having determining a gift for me. At first blush this is a great sign that DH is thoughtful and this great guy for wanting to get me a spectacular gift.
However, all I hear is "woe is me, I'm having all this stress about one gift". Meanwhile I am decorating the entire house, shopping for my family's gifts, his family's gifts, our friends gifts, hostess gift for his friend's holiday party, planning our holiday meal menu's and shopping for all the food for said menu's. I haven't even gotten to wrapping any of the gifts yet which he will also not help with (he always has his mother wrap my gift) and the baking that needs to get done as well.
Seriously, He LOVES Christmas but never wants to do any of the work other than maybe putting up decorations outside and cutting down our tree and putting it up in the stand. No wonder he loves Christmas.

And before kids I was perfectly fine with letting the holiday fall flat on it's face because of his lack of effort. And it did fall flat in our home for pretty much 4 out of 6 years we were together/married before kids. We celebrated in all of our family's homes so really the only task we had was gift buying and wrapping.

But now I refuse to let DD's holiday memories of her home be nonexistent, so I've picked up all the additional work. As I said it's annoying, but I also recognize that a lot of these things are much more important to me than to him. A little gratitude and recognition from him in regards to how much I am actually doing would be really nice though.

shakinros · December 2014

Twice this weekend, DH gave me a lovely speech about how he hated to see me so stressed out and all this Christmas stuff and house cleaning in advance of my MIL coming to stay for a couple days isn't just my responsibility, we're in this together, etc. I went to bed mollified both nights, assuming more help the next day. Actually he then spent the day mostly playing video games and doing one chore per 3-hour block of time.

I can't believe I keep falling for it.

*sparky* · December 2014

Man cold...I don't think I need to elaborate.

DH's use of the Royal We is driving me insane. As in "Did we take care of xyz?" when he knows full well he didn't do it and probably won't do it, he just wants to know if I did it and thinks this is a nice way of asking.

For example last night it was "do WE want to decorate the mantle for Christmas this year?" because I haven't done it yet. Well yes WE do, honey, why don't you get cracking on that then? Oh right, because I am the one who actually does it and your mancold has rendered you completely useless.

ss+el · December 2014

KayteeGee said:

Last night as I'm getting ready for the week I see - cookies are gone. HE TOOK THEM TO THE OFFICE THE NEXT DAY. THE VERY DAY AFTER I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE THEM ALONE.

I bought chocolates for DS' teachers. I told DH that this is what they were for, even stressing that I couldn't find one of the bags when I got home from the store, so I thought the info would stick. Nope, after I found the missing bag (fell out in the car), I went to put it with the others and found out DH had gotten into them and eaten some. ARGH.

I sometimes feel like my DH is also one of those that expects the Magic of Christmas to just happen.

bumpuser10331514 · December 2014

OMG this is my favorite thread. My DH does all of this. I just love the visual of a bunch of man-toddlers.

P.S. DH and I had a long chat and he's being absolutely wonderful. For now.

P.P.S. ^#(^ What does this smiley face say to you? All I see when I look at it is, "Don't eat that."

KayteeGee · December 2014

SomebabiesMom said:

P.P.S. ^#(^ What does this smiley face say to you? All I see when I look at it is, "Don't eat that."

Apparently I need this to put on ALL MY HOLIDAY TREATS.

You are not in this fight alone: For real, DH just opened our box of chocolates for DS' teacher.

WHAT?! WHAT?!!!! As if the cookies weren't bad enough!

babynumerouno · December 2014

KayteeGee said:

Last night as I'm getting ready for the week I see - cookies are gone. HE TOOK THEM TO THE OFFICE THE NEXT DAY. THE VERY DAY AFTER I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE THEM ALONE. he tells me: I just didn't think you needed them around the house; we can buy more. Sure, DH, I can buy shitty grocery store cookies, but I can't just swing by a bakery and buy 36 gorgeous iced cookies suitable for guests. Now that's one more thing I have to add to my already-too-long holiday list.

I have to say, this would really p*ss me off as it sounds like his coworkers liked the cookies the last time he brought them to work and so it was more important for him to be the "awesome cookie guy" at work than it was for him to listen to you and respect your wishes for the cookies baked by your friend. I don't want to sound too pessimistic, but I can't tell if he did it because he was trying to help you with your weight, or if he was just trying to be popular at work. I mean, what made him think--after you said you were not going to eat the cookies and were saving them for guests--that you would then eat the cookies? So annoying.

KayteeGee · December 2014

babynumerouno said:

KayteeGee said:

Last night as I'm getting ready for the week I see - cookies are gone. HE TOOK THEM TO THE OFFICE THE NEXT DAY. THE VERY DAY AFTER I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE THEM ALONE. he tells me: I just didn't think you needed them around the house; we can buy more. Sure, DH, I can buy shitty grocery store cookies, but I can't just swing by a bakery and buy 36 gorgeous iced cookies suitable for guests. Now that's one more thing I have to add to my already-too-long holiday list.

I have to say, this would really p*ss me off as it sounds like his coworkers liked the cookies the last time he brought them to work and so it was more important for him to be the "awesome cookie guy" at work than it was for him to listen to you and respect your wishes for the cookies baked by your friend. I don't want to sound too pessimistic, but I can't tell if he did it because he was trying to help you with your weight, or if he was just trying to be popular at work. I mean, what made him think--after you said you were not going to eat the cookies and were saving them for guests--that you would then eat the cookies? So annoying.

Really, I think he just doesn't want me to be fat.
He also hid the pretzels.

To be fair, I do always say that I don't want this kind of stuff in the house

babynumerouno · December 2014

KayteeGee said:

babynumerouno said:

KayteeGee said:

Last night as I'm getting ready for the week I see - cookies are gone. HE TOOK THEM TO THE OFFICE THE NEXT DAY. THE VERY DAY AFTER I TOLD HIM TO LEAVE THEM ALONE. he tells me: I just didn't think you needed them around the house; we can buy more. Sure, DH, I can buy shitty grocery store cookies, but I can't just swing by a bakery and buy 36 gorgeous iced cookies suitable for guests. Now that's one more thing I have to add to my already-too-long holiday list.

I have to say, this would really p*ss me off as it sounds like his coworkers liked the cookies the last time he brought them to work and so it was more important for him to be the "awesome cookie guy" at work than it was for him to listen to you and respect your wishes for the cookies baked by your friend. I don't want to sound too pessimistic, but I can't tell if he did it because he was trying to help you with your weight, or if he was just trying to be popular at work. I mean, what made him think--after you said you were not going to eat the cookies and were saving them for guests--that you would then eat the cookies? So annoying.

Really, I think he just doesn't want me to be fat.
He also hid the pretzels.

To be fair, I do always say that I don't want this kind of stuff in the house

Okay. Well in that case, what he did was only slightly annoying...

2chatter · December 2014

I have to vent here or I will lose it on DH (over something trivial in the grand scheme of things).

This summer on the beach we collected sand dollars. I dried them and DH put them in the garage in a cup. I told him they were important and not to move them again. He transferred them from the cup to ????. Now they are ????

Each year our elf brings a family ornament. This year it was to be a clear globe with the sand dollars in it. Hard to do without the EMEFFING sand dollars. DH is of course in NY and texting me random places to look in the garage (which by the way is a DISASTER because he literally throws things out the back door then shoves to piles to make more room).

I swear I am going to take a day off and clean the garage the way I want it to be and then prohibit him from going in there.

If I buy sand dollars and pretend they are the ones from the beach is that awful??

alli2672 · December 2014

ughh...I totally forgot to get something for DS2's preschool teachers. This thread just reminded me. DS1, DD, and I have all been sick for the last few days, and I am helping plan the Christmas party for DS1. I was so focused on that, I completely forgot about teacher gifts for DS2.

Maybe I can drop off a card with a gift card tomorrow.

alli2672 · December 2014

2chatter said:
If I buy sand dollars and pretend they are the ones from the beach is that awful??

No. That is actually much nicer than saying "daddy lost our special ornament for this year," which is probably what I would do.

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