Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Breast feeding tips and advice
#1 BFP 1/10/11; missed m/c discovered 7w5d
IF Dx: Endo, hetero MTHFR mutation, poor morphology
#1 IUI: 1/18/12 = BFN
#1 IVF/ICSI 4/2/12 = 2 x 7-cell and 1 x 5-cell transferred (3dt) = BFP!!
H was born at 41w2d on 12/29/12 - be still my heart!
#2 IVF/ICSI 1/19/14 = 2 x 8 cells transferred (3dt) = BFP!! EDD 10/09/14
M&W born at 37 weeks on 9/18/14 - I am the momma of 3 boys!!!
My oldest was a 37w (twins were 34w and in the NICU w NG tubes) and near-term babies tend to be very sleepy. Ask for tips on how to keep them awake and eating.
Remember that their stomachs are the size of marbles in the beginning. You don't need to produce a lot to fill that and it is totally normal to feed every 1.5-2 hrs. Also normal for feeding to last 30-45min. Because of that, I highly recommend tandem bc otherwise feeding is constant. It may take a few days for your milk to come in (mine took 5 days, which is on the longer end).
It's not pain-free, but it's also temporary. I loved gel pads on my nips to get me through the first couple weeks. Lanolin also works.
The first 2 weeks and then the first 6 weeks are rough. It gets better. So so so much better. Never quit on a bad day and don't be afraid to ask for help.
I nursed my oldest for 20mo and the twins for 14mo. You can do it!
At night, I went with whoever woke up first. The other one would get a diaper change also and then would fed as well.
Have H help at night. Have him get the babies, change them and bring them to you to nurse. Have him help you out them back in their cribs or whatever and have him soothe back to sleep if they don't fall asleep right away (they will in the beginning).
You'll find your groove. Different things work for different people.
- spend time with a LC in the hospital focusing on latch
- get some gel pads (medela makes some) now; they work way better than lanolin and really help with the discomfort in the first few weeks (by the way the discomfort gors away with time)
-in the beginning you will nurse all the time- literally- someone other than you needs to cook, clean, and manage everything other than nursing
-if possible avoid bottles, formula, nipple shields and anything else that can interfere with the latch
Good luck
OUBU didn't work for us either- educate yourself but trust your instincts too.
TTC #2 since July 2010
March 2012 IVF (MDL Protocol) Started stims 3/3; ER 3/11 (9R, 8M, 7F) ET 3/16 (5dt of 2 blasts graded 3AB and 3BA, 3 frosties(!!) Beta 3/26 = 386; Beta 3/28 = 827; u/s 4/11 says TWINS! Boy/Girl Twins delivered at 36 weeks 6 days
8/15 FET #1 - transferred 1 thawed embryo - Pregnant with Baby C, it's a girl! Due April 2016.
8/15 FET #1 - transferred 1 thawed embryo - Pregnant with Baby C, it's a girl! Due April 2016.
Also, for my boys it has worked better to have each boy on their own side. I was doing this for the majority of feeds but then thought I should switch it up so their necks wouldn't get so used to turning to one side. So for an entire 24 hrs I put them on their opposite sides. Big mistake! Each breast had already adjusted itself to the way the boys eat (one eats more less frequently and the other less more frequently) so I ended up getting slightly engorged again and my one baby was getting frustrated because there was too much milk.
Oh and one last thing, make sure you have a ton of easy to grab snacks around. You will have very little time to prepare food but will need a lot of extra calories to feed the babies. I keep losing weight which isn't good! Keep snacks near your nursing stations! I eat a ton of trail mix at night.
Bringing them both home...UPDATE...The girls are home!!! 1/7/15 after 20 days in the NICU!