Yes or No to being a bridesmaid?

kmsbaby · December 2014

Hey everyone I'm a first time mom-to-be and I'm so excited! My good friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding which is on August 22, 2015 and my due date is August 11, 2015...I need advice...will I be up to being in the wedding only 11 days after giving birth? And who knows I may go late? Idk what to do, I want to be a good friend and of course be in her wedding but don't want to let her down on her big day if I deliver late or if I'm so uncomfortable? Should I say yes to being her bridesmaid or should I let her in on our secret and ask her to find a replacement?

myfriendscallmemeg · December 2014

I would tell her that you won't make it. Some people bounce back from having babies like it's not a big deal. Others (like me) take up to 2 weeks to even walk up the stairs without wanting to pass out.

So even if you do go on your due date you may not be physically up the spending all day/night at a wedding.

kmsbaby · December 2014

Thanks for the replies

I was kind of thinking the same thing as what you are telling me but I'm just so bummed

I know she will understand, now just have to decide when to tell her...she is having a short engagement (they just got engaged 2 weeks ago ) so I know I should break the news to her soon but don't want to break the news until we announce to everyone of course, which is why we may announce as early as Christmas or New Years

lebradford · December 2014

I think she'll still have plenty of time to adjust if you tell her in December or January. :-)

BethKate2 · December 2014

I agree that there's no way you'll be able to be in the wedding. I mean, you likely won't even make it to the wedding at all.

I think waiting until January to tell her leaves plenty of time. They probably won't even start bridesmaid dress shopping for a few months.

lindy27 · December 2014

I would have to say no. I went 5 days overdue and was not in shape to do any bridesmaid activities for probably a month after giving birth.

Janme524 · December 2014

Hi! I would probably decline, but offer to help as much as possible until you no longer can. After the wedding I would take her out for a special dinner. There is a possibility you won't deliver on time, and may be in labor for the wedding! Good luck with whatever you decide!

ps...we have the same due date

cleblanc18 · December 2014

NOOOO. just think about this: you'll still be hurting like your vag went through it's own battle scene, leaking boobs, and exhaustion. Plus a newborn whose going to be nursing. And you'll want to experience that in a nice dress and be around people who get to drink and be happy who are NOT in your shoes? Hell no. And those lovely giant live saving ice sickle pads won't look pretty under that dress (frozen pads with tucks and with hazel on them) And plus she should understand. If it were me I would totally understand!

There's a reason why most moms don't leave the house and hibernate for the first couple of weeks.

llw42614 · December 2014

I agree with PPs. Also, I was the MOH for my BFF for her April wedding after I gave birth at the end of December and I was still uncomfortable about the dress and really not feeling as confident as I would have liked. I couldn't imagine doing it only weeks after!

GypsySoul74 · December 2014

Eleven days after I delivered, I was still peeing all over everything and crying every night at 7 pm, so this would not have been a wise choice for me.

SpartyKim · December 2014

I'm in a similar situation: due 3 Aug and one of my best friends wants me to be a bridesmaid at her 29 Aug wedding. She knows about my losses and how important this is to me so we've already discussed changing my role to that of hostess instead. We're waiting to see if there's a HB tomorrow at my u/s because all my losses have been pre-HB.

beccey143 · December 2014

I would agree right now and then once your ready to tell everyone tel her that you still want to participate in everything and be there for her but you just don't think you can make it! She should be so happy that your having a baby that she will totally understand

LAF0926 · December 2014

I have the same due date and I agreed to be MOH in my BF wedding 10/2. I am worried about that being so close! I would say no way to your situation like PP's. I am sure your friend will understand. Good luck!

kmsbaby · December 2014

Thanks everyone! I think I will be declining but will offer my help as much as I can

beachy84 · December 2014

I was in the same situation. I had agreed before I found out I was pregnant and then had to tell her and her fiancé that my husband and I couldn't be in the wedding. We felt horrible but it wouldn't have been fair to either of us.

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