'Running late' or just plain rude?

Lezzie82 · December 2014

What do you all think? Do you consider it extremely rude when someone is always late, or very late... ? What about if they have kids, is that an excuse?

What about last minute cancelers... People that literally wait to the day of or even a few hours before to let you know they aren't coming after all... or just not show up period with no explanation.

itsmevkb · December 2014

I have very little patience for the chronically late. My time is just as valuable as theirs and yet they are indicating that theirs is actually more valuable.

And, I don't really cut parents a whole lot more slack given that I have four kids and manage to get places on time and I've never cancelled something with friends due to my kids.

kac22 · December 2014

Rude. I have a kid and am still always the first one there (sometimes embarrassingly so) because I plan for things to go wrong or what have you. I hate people who are constantly late.

PsMomma718 · December 2014

I agree, it's rude to be consistently late. Things come up, understandable. But if it's a habit, that's just flat out inconsiderate.

Lezzie82 · December 2014

It is rude. DH is late more than I would care for, sometimes it affects me although for the past couple of years I have developed a super sneaky bunch of plans to ensure at least I am not late. Although I just feel like he wants to be late, I don't know why I love the man but he can be an ass. He works in the music business and the 'big wigs' are always late for everything and leave early usually. I don't know if he is trying to emulate that or what but it's stupid and angers me when he is late to meet his friends, or worse, for meetings!

I'll admit lately I have been late to everything but I actually have a very valid excuse, HEG non stop puking. I have had good days and days when I have to pull over, get sick, etc... sometimes even cancel and go home. I am NOT used to it and I hate it more than anything but all my friends have been understanding because they know my history. I was NEVER late before and it takes an act of God to make me cancel something I've said yes to.

Not trying to brag, but that's why I get invited out a lot by my friends. They know I won't say no usually and I will actually show up on time and be there. You cancel too much, you stop getting invites. I am going to have to make this move with a very close friend who lately just doesn't seem to give a shit and cancels all the time. It's too annoying and I give up.

MaryGraceRich · December 2014

My niece is consistanlty late. Hours late. She gets it from my sister who is also consistantly late. My sister has been married three times and has been no less than an hour late to each wedding.
I would rather be 20 minutes early than 5 minutes late.

lgsdesigner · December 2014

It's rude unless they have a legit excuse (car accident, bad traffic, etc), and doesn't happen all the time.

My mother is like this. If I have a party at my house at noon, we always tell her 11:30a. She will then be on time or close to on time. Haha!

Jillibean68 · December 2014

It's super rude. DH is chronically late and I am always early (even with a toddler).

I honestly think he just has zero concept of time though. I will 'prepare' him to leave starting an hour and a half before we actually have to leave and he STILL can't get his shit together enough so we can leave on time. I have no clue what else to do. I nag, I beg, I yell, I promise sexy things, nothing seems to work.

His time management is terrible in other aspects of his life though too. Maybe it's a disease. Someone should invent an 'on time' pill. They'd make millions!

alaw0729 · December 2014

Rude, but I tend to be a little more understanding when someone has small children, because lets face it- baby just blew out his 3rd outfit of the day and big sister does not want to stop watching doc mcstuffins and so she has a huge meltdown.

My husband and his family are TERRIBLE about being late, to everything. I watch my nephew on my day off occasionally and we meet halfway to pickup/drop off. Always late, always. I have to get my kid up early too to met you, be on time!

I also have a friend from high school that likes to text me to meet up when she comes back home. She either sets up a time to meet and doesn't show-no text or call or says she will message me "tomorrow" to meet up and doesn't. Super annoying.

obimom · December 2014

Rude!
One of my IL's are like this. With her though it is as if she has no concept of time. Five minutes is really fifteen or twenty. I hate trying to decipher her timing like some secret code. Two weeks ago she said she would pick me up in fifteen minutes and I managed to shower and get ready with fifteen minutes to spare. But as soon as you're running behind she just takes off and says she can't wait.

tinalovescauliflower · December 2014

I also grew up with a parent who was chronically late and it affected me badly. I am 10-15 minutes early everywhere I go, and I'll sit in the car and read if it's ridiculous to show up that early. But I can't stand being late. I just think about the time I sat outside of middle school for 4 hours waiting for my mother to show up. It was embarrassing, hurtful, and there's no excuse.

I am of course understanding when people have a legitimate reason. But if it's a pattern, I speak up.

abbijoy · December 2014

Rude. I don't have children yet, but my mom had four and we were NEVER late. Aside from a traffic accident or something crazy happening on the commute to your destination, I accept no excuses.

mpiemont · December 2014

When people are consistently late, I think that is rude and very irritating. On occasion, we all run late, kids or no kids. Having 2 little ones, I will say that the kids can be the reason, but it's not necessarily an "excuse" for it to happen all the time. I know to allow an extra 20 minutes just to get out the door- if I want to leave at 9:00am, I shoot to actually leave at like 8:30...

As for last minute cancelers, it totally depends on the situation. Play dates are notorious for late cancellations- obviously that is because of the kids. They can wake up sick, be coming off a really really bad night, etc etc. Otherwise, I can't think of a lot of non kid related reasons I've had for last minute cancellations (sickness aside).

Lauracox3 · December 2014

I don't have much experience with kids causing lateness. However, if kids are not involved it is VERY rude to be habitually late. Growing up, my aunt, uncles, and cousins were late for everything by at least a half hour, and they developed a bad reputation because it always threw off everyone's plans. Recently, I have a friend who habitually cancels every plan she makes, and it's so RUDE because I plan all week for things, and then she cancels last minute. I agree that it makes someone seem like your time is not valuable, and it irritates me badly. Once in a while being 10 minutes late is ok in my book. However, the constant offenders irk me to death.

jennnyboomboom · December 2014

Oh yikes! (hangs head) I am extremely guilty of this. I'm always late. I'm late for everything. My family usually tells me to be somewhere hours before the actual event so that I'll actually be on time.

I do think, (I know, I know. You're all already haters against us late people so you don't care about excuses) it's a cultural thing. My family has never run on a schedule. Family comes and goes whenever and nothing ever has a set time. Our good-bye's take hours so you'll never leave at 5 if that's the time you say you wanted to leave.

My poor husband puts up with me. He's always on time (and by on time, I mean like 30 mins early to everything) so he helps keep me in check.

I don't mean to be rude, ladies! I swear! I'm just terrible with time management!

Lauracox3 · December 2014

@jennnyboomboom‌ I have to say, DH and I went to a wedding in Puerto Rico for a friend of mine who married a man who is Puerto Rican. His parents were an hour and a half late for the wedding. Apparently, Puerto Ricans run on "island time" and are late for everything. This is the only place I have encountered a cultural trend of people being late. But hey, maybe in some other places it is a cultural thing too. In the US I have never encountered it, though.

mp03jp · December 2014

<===== just about 5-10 minuets late to everything. And, I have no clue how it happens. I plan to get going early and do whatever and then next thing I know it's like 10 minuets after I planned to leave. Personality wise I've never been in a rush for anything and I get really really overwhelmed when I do have to rush.

mp03jp · December 2014

oh but constantly cancelling plans last minuet seriously pisses me off. SIL does this all the time with me. It's like some people wait to see if something better to do comes along.

saric83 · December 2014

I work at a large corporation that is very meeting-based, so everyone is always running from one meeting to another, and they're often in different elevator banks or even buildings downtown, so it's normal for folks to be 5-10 minutes late, and I've just gotten completely used to it, and it doesn't bother me since it's legit.

But in my personal life, that's just frustrating when people are really late. But I get far more annoyed when people don't RSVP at all. I would honestly rather someone say they're coming and back-out at the last minute than have people randomly show up who couldn't be bothered to determine if they were coming or not. I see that happen way more often, and people blame it on the kiddos.

manacita · December 2014

@jennnyboomboom‌ - my husband's family is Hispanic and they have a totally different concept of time than my Lily white scots Irish family. I was appalled for a while. Now I simply make sure I'm on time and leave at a time that works for my kids and I. My husband meets me in the middle with this most of the time. But I totally get where you are coming from.

I also cut people with small kids a huge amount if slack. Especially if one parent is trying to mobilize two kids. It is like the little buggars have a secret radar system that goes off 15 minutes before we need to leave.

'Attention siblings! 15 minutes to departure, everyone here needs to crap their pants, hide their left shoe, barf or spill a drink, lock themselves in the bathroom, and suddenly hate the pants they're wearing. Ready! Go!'

Without my kids I'm always 10 minutes early. I keep a book in my car to read while I wait to meet people. With my kids... Not so much. But I mostly hang with other parents and they're in the same situation. So we don't really get upset about things.

khaleesi123 · December 2014

What about this one.. I had a friend telling me she wants to come over and cook for my partner and I because I'm pregnant and need a break so she was planning to come over at 8:30pm and bring the food she cooked. She was late and I was asking her if she is still coming so I know if I should just cook she said yes blah blah excuse excuse.. She arrived at 11:30pm with KFC..

kj808 · December 2014

I think it's rude. I have a friend who is always late and it drives me nuts.

jil1210 · December 2014

mp03jp said:
<===== just about 5-10 minuets late to everything. And, I have no clue how it happens. I plan to get going early and do whatever and then next thing I know it's like 10 minuets after I planned to leave. Personality wise I've never been in a rush for anything and I get really really overwhelmed when I do have to rush.

This happens to me frequently! It definitely happens more frequently when I'm going somewhere with my DH and our daughter. My DH is terrible at being on time and maybe it's rubbed off on me over the years. I acknowledge that it is rude. I try to call or text people as soon as I realize I'll be late, so they're not waiting around.

Ballet80 · December 2014

Late people are rude!!! They consider themselves more important than you! I am super busy and don't have time to wait around on someone else. I have a friend that doe ms this to me regularly when I am on my lunchbreak, she doesn't work so it doesn't matter to her. Last week she showed up 15 minutes late, so I ate with her for 20 minutes and then was like well I gotta go back to work. She was confused as to why I didn't want to stay longer, I reminded her I had been waiting an additional 15 minutes before she got there and I actually have a schedule to keep.
As far as last minute cancelers go, they are not a friend of mine. People know if they don't want to do something or if they can't make it, tell the other person ahead of time. Last minute cancelers make me furious. I have a tiny group of friends, my husband makes fun of me and says I don't like anyone. But honestly there aren't that many people who are truly reliable. I expect a lot from people but I give a lot too.

dj99 · January 2015

My mom used to always be late for everything and made us late, this drove me crazy. I can occasionally be late by 5-10 minutes but DH is always late. I will usually tell him we had to be somewhere like 15-30 minutes early.

I really can't stand when people cancel last minute. I had a friend who used to do this and I just stopped making plans with her eventually.

queenrich · January 2015

When it comes to work, punctuality is a must. However on a non work day sometimes I will be running a few minutes behind when attending social events or with friends. I know I'm a terrible person. I never cancel last minute and always call/text to let my friends know in advance if I'm going to be late. All of my family functions (on my side) everyone is late and I guess it has rubbed off on me. It drives my husband crazy and he calls me out on it. I've been working on it! I know people think it is disrespectful! Haha I guess I just get too laid back on my days off!

Morenajuliet · January 2015

RUDE!

I also hate how it seems to be a copout for people- like you're supposed to feel bad that they are bad at time management. Nope- get it together buddy and don't waste my time.

chavez2685 · January 2015

Rude and after it's been done a few times I make no effort to get together with that person anymore. If they contact me I will get together but as someone who is on time or early 95% of the time I find it really annoying.

padleylynn · January 2015

I agree, its rude. I was taught if your not at least 10 minutes early, your late. I always plan on extra time to get DD ready so we can leave at the right time. As for excuses, it depends on the excuse. Some are legitimate and if its not a pattern, I it slide. Others are just poor planning and I don't appreciate those. When DH and I were picking planners/pastors for our beach wedding, one pastor showed up 45 minutes late after we drove 2 hours to meet her. Her reason.. sorry she ran on beach time (kinda like island time) DH told her our time was valuable too, and that if she couldn't show up on time to a meeting how can we expect her to show up on time to the wedding. We ended up hiring her competition.

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