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Breastfeeding
hidingangel82
member
Husband "Helping"... to Tank My Supply
hidingangel82
member
I am BF on demand my almost 5 week son, and things are going pretty well.
We had issues regaining birth weight, so I supplement with BM for his first 3 weeks, but Little Noob is right on track.
I still pump in the morning and occasionally during the day if my husband bottle feeds. I usually have about 6-10oz in the fridge, as well as about 20 oz of a stash in the freezer.
My issue: when I am in the shower, or napping, or if he wakes up before I do at night, my husband will simply feed LO a bottle... doesn't tell me he's bottle fed, doesn't bring me the baby to breast feed, etc. I have explained over and over that I have to pump if baby eats from a bottle to keep my supply, but he still "helps"! It took a week + of More Milk Plus and religiously waking baby to nurse to get my supply back, after he took the 3 am feeding for multiple days.
Can anyone recommend Where can I refer my husband to, to make him understand that this help is hurting, and suggestions?
Thank you all for your help!
PS free muffins to all of you who made it through this novel, sorry for the rambles!
We had issues regaining birth weight, so I supplement with BM for his first 3 weeks, but Little Noob is right on track.
I still pump in the morning and occasionally during the day if my husband bottle feeds. I usually have about 6-10oz in the fridge, as well as about 20 oz of a stash in the freezer.
My issue: when I am in the shower, or napping, or if he wakes up before I do at night, my husband will simply feed LO a bottle... doesn't tell me he's bottle fed, doesn't bring me the baby to breast feed, etc. I have explained over and over that I have to pump if baby eats from a bottle to keep my supply, but he still "helps"! It took a week + of More Milk Plus and religiously waking baby to nurse to get my supply back, after he took the 3 am feeding for multiple days.
Can anyone recommend Where can I refer my husband to, to make him understand that this help is hurting, and suggestions?
Thank you all for your help!
PS free muffins to all of you who made it through this novel, sorry for the rambles!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Husband "Helping"... to Tank My Supply
I'm sure your DH is just trying to help. BF is a lot of work, and it sometimes leaves the dad on the outside. What I had my DH do during the night was get up and bring the baby to me, do the diaper change between sides, and then place the baby back when we were done. This way he still felt involved. During the day, he became quite adept at swinging the babies in the car seat, in a gentle swing type motion. Again, this would help calm them, and he felt like he was actually "doing" something versus just putting the baby in the regular swing. Look for ways to involve him, and remind him that nursing is really critical at this age. Remind him that LO will be on to solid foods in no time, and he'll have plenty of opportunities to feed then. GL!
**DD1 - 7/9/98**
**DS - 11/9/00**
**DD2 - 4/30/13**
Thanks for the support!
I have some powdered formula that was free from somewheres, up in the cupboard. I will take a small bottle of formula with me if I'm going to the grocery store or something, just in case, to 'top her off' till I can nurse. But at home I don't use it.
So the other night, I dozed off watching tv with dh holding baby. I woke up an hour later to he and her gone, to upstairs. I'm somewhat hard of hearing so I hadn't heard her fuss or him move around. I get up to go upstairs figuring she's probably getting hungry, when I spotted an empty bottle on the counter-he had fed her formula with me lying right there!!!
I was so mad-I said why didn't you wake me up? He said, I thought I was helping you rest. I said yeah now I have to sleep with engorgement. This is our sixth child and I bf all of them, so he knows better.
I was mad and hid the formula (I've since told him where it is, lol) . I think he did it because he likes seeing how much she ate by looking at the bottle-he's been like that with all our kids. He has an engineers mind (he's not one but thinks like one) and I think he likes the precision of the ounce marks on the bottle
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
So, last night I did what you suggested: into the freezer it goes immediately! At least this way, when we do bottle feed, we can rotate and use the older stuff first!
Thank you for the support!
Sigh.
I was just in the kitchen after getting up from my nap, to do some chores since LO was still asleep. Top of the trash can is an empty freezer bag. (I didn't even know he knew where I keep the frozen)
He said baby was hungry and he didn't want to wake me. (No wonder why the baby was still asleep)
After I calmed down I asked him if he understands what it means when I say it hurts my supply. It seems that he understands, but he says I always complain how tired I am and he was trying to help by letting me rest.
I told him, again, that *every* time the baby eats, if it's not on the boob, I have to pump, and letting me sleep hurts the baby. "So, you don't want me to let you sleep at all?" NO!
He got huffy about how he is only trying to help me and stomped off.
Why is this so hard to understand?!?!
rant over
She interpreted "LO wakes up every night at 4am to eat. I would LOVE it if you wanted to get up and change him and bottle feed him while I pump, then I can go right back to sleep. Then he wakes up again between 6-8am, and if you got him and let me sleep in, that would be great!" as: "don't wake me up. Grab him as soon as he makes a peep" She turned the monitor on and slept with it by her head!
I'm half tempted to drag him to the LC (don't need the LC currently, but our pediatrician isn't strongly pro-bf, and i don't think she'd push for him to listen like a LC would).
He is being very stubborn lately - for the first time in our relationship I am putting my foot down when it comes to baby, and I'm sure he doesn't like me as Mamma Bear. Is this just one of the few things he can control (so he wcts like a toddler)... or is he just being a dick?
Sigh...
Since he seems like he isn't going to stop feeding bottles, probably the best thing for your supply is to ensure that he does not have the opportunity. Keep baby with you (co sleep or have him next to your side of the bed) or the monitor so you hear him first.
I posted upthread about my dh feeding a formula bottle when I was home and available to nurse. It's our sixth kid, he knew better-I do think it's a control thing, with my dh and yours. I just really try not to leave him opportunities to do so!