Apparently I am burning in Hell EDITED!!!

islandwaddle · December 2014

That's not what I was expecting to hear when we told my fiances grandparents tonight.
Just me. Not him.
I'm a little upset but I'll get over it.
She got herself in such a fit we had to leave. It started out so good too. Talking about our wedding (no huge plans of course just that we plan on May 2016 and decided to ease into the baby news and that's when all Hell broke loose.
My fiancé got upset and told her that when she was ready to apologize she could call but until then we don't need her negativity.
Rest of the family told us that she will come to terms and apologize.
Anyone else get such extreme disapproval from a family member of friend ?

**** edit ***

HUGE thank you to all of you amazing wonderful ladies.
You all have no idea how much I appreciate the unconditional support you all showed me last night.
I even made my fiancé read this and he's like 'you don't even know these girls in real life ?' Haha.
You are all so wonderful and amazing and I'm so thankful for this group.
Also, she called last night and said she rethought her stance and that she was just taken aback by it and reacted immature.
I accepted her apology and she's offered to take me for lunch when I'm feeling 'less emotional' haha. Oh well.

dot2point0 · December 2014

No experience, but just wanted to say I'm sorry you had to listen to that. Hope she comes around, but try not to let it bring you down.

Mamamads · December 2014

Ughh how awful, I can't stand that sort of reaction. No experience but glad your fiance had your back, hopefully she will get over it and give a sincere apology. Sorry you are dealing with that headache.

MigdaliaRose · December 2014

That's really tough and I'm sorry you had to deal with it. I hope that they come around and realize what a great joy this baby is. I hope that the rest of your family has been supportive.

aimbje88 · December 2014

Haven't experienced anything like this but just wanted to say sorry this has happened and I hope she comes around and apologizes! Nobody deserves that kind of negativity.

steen9713 · December 2014

I am so sorry you had such a reaction. I imagine it can't be easy. I don't understand why people just can't be happy no matter what the situation is. Glad your fiancé had your back. I hope she apologizes sooner then later

travelmama · December 2014

I'm so sorry. That's awful. She will come around I'm sure but forgiving her may be hard. :-(

jenwalker1978 · December 2014

Sorry you are having to deal with this.

It drives me nuts when "Christians" act so un Christ like towards others... Actions like that give an entire faith a bad name.

tmorash · December 2014

That is some uncalled-for behaviour right there. I hope you get your apology soon; you deserve it.

ohkay · December 2014

I am so sorry! I'm not sure of your fiancé's grandmother's religion, but as a Christian, I believe only God gets to decide who goes to heaven and hell and all sins can be washed away. If she a Christian maybe someone should remind her God can forgive you AND your fiancé for having a child out of wedlock. Also your baby is a gift from The Lord. Psalms 127:3. A baby is something to rejoice over! Good luck sweetie and pay her no mind.

arjohn · December 2014

What a miserable old wench! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. Glad your fiancé had your back, and kudos to you guys for responding with class and dignity. If she doesn't apologize and come around, then good riddance. You don't need someone like that to be an influence on your child.

shelbutler · December 2014

Wow. I'm sorry she said that to you!

Telling my husband's family was miserable - and we didn't even get to do it, honestly. His mom decided to just "ask" everyone if they knew I was pregnant. His parents were nervous about it, and his sister was thrilled, but his brother is the spawn of Satan himself and is a complete dick. He's told my husband that I'm going to leave him as soon as the baby comes, or he might as well sell his boat and bow because his days of hunting and fishing are over. It's ridiculous.

Bodoni · December 2014

Wow. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Hopefully she'll come around, if not then I see it as her loss.

TEpley15 · December 2014

I don't have any experience like that but I too am engaged and pregnant. We've been engaged for two years and I was really worried about what his family would think. I knew my parents and family were going ro be happy for us. Well when we told them they all kind of looked at us and didn't really say anything at first and my heart sank and I started crying because I was already so worried. So I kind of know how you feel my fiance told mevto focus on the joy of bringing a baby into our lives. It's good that your fiance stood up for you and if anything the negativity will push you two closer!

sutavim2 · December 2014

I'm so sorry. Hopefully she comes around... But if not, it's her loss.

MisSmartyPants · December 2014

...and it will sizzle. Joking!! Don't worry about the old farts. They live their lives as if it was the 18 th century!! Once they see the baby they will instantly fall in love with it!! Especially, since by then you will be a married woman!! Besides, what, they thought you two sleep in two separate beds, and you wear the chastity belt for fashion purposes?? Babies come from sex, adult people have lots of sex...therefore, adult people have babies. Plain and simple lol.

c-elizabethf · December 2014

I am so sorry she said that to you. That is uncalled for and just terrible to say. It's her loss it she doesn't come around. ((Hugs))

jekasi · December 2014

Wow that's terrible, sorry you had to endure it. I like to think we'd be as tactful as you but I'm not sure. Hopefully she does get over it and call and apologize.

My dad got in a fight with his own father over sharing a room with my mom before they were married. It got so heated they didn't speak for over a decade, and even then it was sparse and strained and we never saw him. I grew up without a grandfather because of this (the other had passed). I hope that she realizes there are more important things in life to worry about, I've experienced first hand when a family allows itself to become distant because of things like this.

emwithpeanuts · December 2014

I was 15 (16 when I found out) when I got pregnant with my first. My husband and I already wanted/knew/told everyone we were going to get married even before I got pregnant. So, even though it was way sooner than either one of us would have planned (obviously), we were happy and we had very supportive family. Alas, I still had one family member who tried to convince my parents I should be sent to a home for unwed mothers. Needless to say, my parents were furious. Didn't go over well, haha. So, I totally get you with having family that is unsupportive and angry. It will get better!!!

SAHMommie · December 2014

ugh I just want to give you a hug. How awful.
>:D<

gem717 · December 2014

Wow how terrible, you deserve an apology for sure! A baby is a blessing and if she can't understand that then that's her loss. I'm sorry but a marriage license doesn't make two people more deserving to have a baby than an unwed couple. I'm engaged, we already have one son together, my family pressures me all the time about getting married before this next one is due. We own a home together, are loving parents and love each other, we're committed to one another and I don't need a piece of paper to tell me otherwise.

Kudos to him for standing up for you! He seems very supportive!

KatD2011 · December 2014

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That's terrible!

My FIL had a negative reaction but not that extreme. He thinks that baby means he will never see his Son again and we will end up in divorse like he did, blah blah blah. He lives in another province and DH usually goes out there for a few days each year for a visit. I don't see why this would stop because of the baby, but even if it did, there is nothing stopping him from coming to visit us.

I feel really bad for DH, he is feeling really down because of the reaction. I am not close with FIL so his oppinion doesn't bother me. I just hate seeing DH so sad

kate5all · December 2014

Gotta love a good ol' fashioned double standard. Good for you fiance for sticking up for you! It sounds like the rest of your family is behind you two so hopefully Grandma comes around sooner rather than later!

stacearace · December 2014

Nowhere in that did she say they are Christians.

jenwalker1978 said:
Sorry you are having to deal with this.
It drives me nuts when "Christians" act so un Christ like towards others... Actions like that give an entire faith a bad name.

mantgal · December 2014

Awww I'm sorry. I got a very negative reaction from my mother for the same reason of not being married to my fiancé and it just not being the right time. Eventually she apologized and said she just needed time. I know my dad won't take it well either. But they will come around and just lean on the family and friends that support you. My fiances family is so thrilled. Good luck

ifwisheswerefishes · December 2014

As a Christian, hearing the phrase "burn in hell," I immediately went to words I've heard vindictive assholes from my own faith blurt out for no reason.

I am SO sorry that you had to deal with that. It makes me so angry on your behalf. Lean on your partner, enjoy being pregnant, and celebrate that you're going to become parents.

RWPhoenix · December 2014

I am so, so sorry you are going through this *hugs*

lindylogana · December 2014

I'm so sorry

That is not ok and I hope she apologizes soon but it would take a big apology for me to forgive her.

MittenMomma · December 2014

Yes, my husband and I lived in separate states for my job for about a year, I got pregnant that year of course and his great aunt left a message on my phone thinking it was his saying, "the baby probably isn't even yours, you better get a DNA test when it's born."

So I sent her a picture of my daughter, myself, my principal, and a fellow teacher (who were clearly not her father) at the hospital and wrote Who's the Daddy?

She has since apologized and I only interact with her if needed.

ohkay · December 2014

Love the update! I am so happy she came around and apologized! Sounds like everything will be much better moving forward.

abcdefghijk12345678 · December 2014

I'm happy to read your update!

c-elizabethf · December 2014

Glad to read your update

mrstutus · December 2014

My DHs grandparents reacted somewhat similarly when his cousin informed them she was pregnant. She was with a guy for a long time but they weren't married. The gparents came around and now love that LO beyond belief! (PS. The cousin is now 32, still with the same guy and still doesn't feel the need to get married) They eventually had to get over that too

skippinkate · December 2014

When we first told my MIL she told us that we were working in the wrong order and that the pregnancy threw a wrench in the plans for a family vacation to Disneyland this summer. A few days later she and FIL DROVE 16 hours for our tiny makeshift wedding and were very excited about baby.
My story isn't as burn in hell-y as yours, but I just wanted to say I know how hurtful that can be. And also that these people do come around. No one can resist a cute baby even if it's parents are sinners.

KellyinHB · December 2014

I am so happy to read your update and that she is coming around.

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