Too close for cousins?

wlrtimes2 · December 2014

So here is my question. My maiden name is Harrison. I had always planned to give my first boy my maiden name. Well my sister in law just had a baby and they named him Harris. I don't want my kid to always be considered the kid with the copy cat name, but I also don't want to not pass on my maiden name that means a lot to me. Opinions? How close it too close for cousins (namewise)?

be888 · December 2014

I think it is too close. You can use it as the mn.

ETA: I reread your post. I thought your SIL had named her son Harrison. I still think it is too close for cousins to be named Harris and Harrison, but at least it's not the same name.

wlrtimes2 · December 2014

That is what I was afraid of. With our last name it sounds weird as a middle name. I just hate it because we had the maiden name conversation in June (2 months before her baby was born.) My fault for assuming it was off limits.

NicoleWI · December 2014

I'd use it. Especially since you did even talk about it. She should kind of know that you may end up using the name.

parenthood4 · December 2014

It would bother me. I would only use it as a middle name...but if it doesn't bother you, then I say go for it

DaisyZH · December 2014

I would use it, it has meaning to you and she must know it's a possibility that the cousins will have similar names if you had already spoken with her.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

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wlrtimes2 · December 2014

arrestclementine said:

That is what I was afraid of. With our last name it sounds weird as a middle name. I just hate it because we had the maiden name conversation in June (2 months before her baby was born.) My fault for assuming it was off limits.
If Harrison sounds weird as a mn with your last name, I don't understand how it would sound any better as a fn? I mean most of the time your lo is going to go by Harrison LN. So based on that I would not use it. Eta fixed auto correct

Our last name also ends with an "n" sound. So I feel like if it has a mn buffer it would be ok...I don't know... I guess I just don't like it as a mn. You are probably right, and I am just trying to find excuses so I feel justified using it.

wlrtimes2 · December 2014

Pegleg715 said:

I say go for it. I assume this is DHs sister? And she is not connected to the name Harrison? I feel like a lot of families (at least in decades past) had cousins with the same name. You name your child what you want. And don't let someone else names choice dictate what you can and can't use. But I would also discuss with H how he feels about it.

Yes it is DH's sister. So she doesn't have a connection to the name. DH is on board with still using it. My Dad was just diagnosed with terminal cancer, so he also feels like it would be really significant.

capulet · December 2014

My preference is for cousins not to have names that are too close (easy for me to say because my kids only have one cousin so far), but in this case I would still use it since it has meaning for you.

queenbone · December 2014

NicoleWI said:

I'd use it. Especially since you did even talk about it. She should kind of know that you may end up using the name.

This. I know no one owns a name, but it was kind of a d-bag move on her part to use if after having a conversation with you about it. It isn't just some name you pulled from no where, it is your maiden name.

I'm sorry about your father's diagnosis, I think you should definitely use the name in spite of the possible confusion at family gatherings. Maybe your DS coudl have the NN Sonny at those events just to more easily distinguish between the two.

ashiscute · December 2014

I have tons of cousins with the same name so it's not odd to me. But I probably would not do it personally. It really depends on how close you are to your SIL and how often the cousins are together. I would MN it.

this decaf life · December 2014

I wouldn't do it because it's pretty close, Harrison as a MN?

Overall I think it's fine, just not what I'd do - I have cousins named Jonathan and it's sort of silly but not that big of a deal.

delujm0 · December 2014

I have a nephew Harrison whose last name ends with an N and I don't think it sounds silly. Would you use Harry as a nn? I ask because my nephew uses Harris as his nn so two Harris' at family gatherings might get confusing. I like that the name has significance for you though.

kmvisioli · December 2014

I'd still use it, especially since you had already talked to her about the name, and because of the deep family significance for you. How rude that she even put you in this situation.

lovepink2007 · December 2014

I think you should use it! It is so significant & you had the conversation. Best wishes to your father

firsttimeauntie · December 2014

For me, it depends how often you spend time with them. I see my sister and nephews every week so that pair would be too close but if you see them once a year or something I would probably use it. You aren't copying, it's your maiden name

Dr.Loretta · December 2014

With all the background info, I would use it. You can be your own version of My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Unknown · December 2014

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wlrtimes2 · December 2014

Ok, you ladies are making me feel better. We do live across the country from each other , so our kids would see each other tops...a couple times a year.

@delujm0‌ we would probably use Harry as a nickname. I am not opposed to it. I originally liked Harris as a nn but in this circumstance we would probably go with Harry.

I will be going home for Christmas so I may just have an honest conversation with my SIL and let her know that my plans haven't changed. And in the end if it bugs me too much I will try to get used to the idea of using it as his mn.

Thank you ladies for your honest opinions!

mommabird77 · December 2014

I wouldn't do it, but I could see if you barely ever see each other not minding the closeness in names.

jburdet1 · December 2014

I'd go forward with using it. I feel she will seem more silly using the name just because she likes it while you have family significance.
The name is a surname not a first name so I feel like if SIL wanted to use a surname as a fn she should have made sure it wasn't a family name of an IL. Very awkward for her, IMO.

sunnyday016 · December 2014

Too close IMO.

4N6s · December 2014

I'd use it.

LexiSophie55 · December 2014

I know cousins Mikayla and Ayla. Same thing. I've never heard a word about it and we all live in the same small town and see each other every other week or so.

USE IT!

LtlAngL · December 2014

The name has meaning to you, so I think you should just use it. I have cousins named Lauren and Laura, and it's only ever been an issue if someone is calling them from far away and they both answer. Neither of them mind. It made them closer, actually.

Elsa1984 · December 2014

I say go for it. I have the same name as my second cousin (who is a year older than me), and it doesn't bother me. But mine as more of a twist (I won't use exact names): My mom's name is Rachel Ann. After she was born, my grandparents had another daughter, Ann Irene. My mom and aunts cousin, June, had a daughter and named her Ann. Then had another daughter and named her Sonja. A year later, I was born, and named Sonja Ann. So my first name is shared with my cousin who is a year older than me. My middle name is shared with my cousin (with the matching name) sister, my aunt, and my mom's middle name.

Its ridiculous, and someone should have handed everyone in my family baby name books when they first got pregnant. We have about 10 people in my family with the same name. I went the opposite when it came to my daughter.

scaggsed · December 2014

I'd use it.

I have cousins Brooke & Brooklyn, not a problem. I have an uncle and a female cousin with the same name, never a problem. Also, with the amount of great uncle dicks I have, there were a lot of cousins named Richard all together

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