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Things to Read for Health Care Providers

SeaParrotSeaParrot member
edited December 2014 in TTC After a Loss
I've been lurking, not posting much lately, because exams were kicking my butt. I've mentioned before that I'm hoping to start med school next year and as a result I know a number of future doctors already. A friend of mine is doing an OB observership and while she has been enjoying all the happy experiences, I know it won't be long before she encounters a woman experiencing a loss, given how common it is. I know, from speaking with the med students and residents I have encountered, that most do not receive much information on how to communicate to women experiencing pregnancy loss (like they do for people experiencing loss of a loved one, or facing death) so I thought I'd provide her some recommended readings, particularly on what NOT to say.

So I'm asking for suggestions of reading material - blogs, in particular - that you ladies would recommend. Yes, I can google, but there's a lot of crap written on the topic of loss and I really trust your guys' compassion and I would like to offer her suggestions from the loss community, not just what Google pops up.

I hope this doesn't come across poorly. I just want to help her understand in a way that doctors often don't seem to.

~ K.

PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone. Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss. Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17 Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.
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Re: Things to Read for Health Care Providers

  • ellebelle2384ellebelle2384 member
    Another vote for everything @PetraStonegirl said.

    I think anything on Still Standing (https://stillstandingmag.com/) is amazing.  They have multiple articles on support.
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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  • SeaParrotSeaParrot member
    PetraStonegirl said:
    I don't have anything handy at this moment, but if you tell them only two things, they will be better prepared that most doctors.

    First, tell them that those patients have lost a child, and to treat them as such. Grieving parents who have lost a child are something they have been prepared for (albiet poorly). They need to speak compassionately and tell the parents that they are right to grieve this loss.

    Second, tell them that if they ever utter the words 'God's Plan, 'it wasn't a baby', 'statistically likely/unlikely to happen again', 'aborter/spontaneous aborter/habitual aborter', or suggest that a patient did anything remotely wrong to bring about the miscarriage (too fat/too thin/too old/too young/had a coffee/went for a run/too stressed), that you will personally and professionaly hunt them down and beat the ever living shit out of them with their MCAT Princeton Review book.

    I love this, thank you. Think I'll add that quips about bad timing and any suggestion that a loss is a good thing are unwelcome too (I have been told twice by health care providers that my losses were "blessings.") Mind if I pass on quotes of your post (with credit, naturally)?
    ~ K.

    PCOS, EDS III, low progesterone. Six early losses (5-8 weeks,) 1 twin loss. Surprise natural BFP 2014-12-17     Ectopic dx and MTX 2015-01-02.
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