July 2015 Moms

XP Weaning advice?

Hi ladies. I also posted this question to the breastfeeding board, but thought some of you might have experience, too.

It's time to wean LO. I'm underweight, anemic, exhausted, and nauseous. He currently nurses 3x a day: before bed, middle of the night, and morning. I thought I would try cutting back on the length of nursing sessions, but last night we just WOULD NOT go down without nursing to sleep. He cried until 10:45pm (DH checked on him periodically), and I finally caved.

To make matters worse, he's falling off his growth curve, and the doctor suspects he may be anemic, too. We're having bloodwork done to be sure. I suspect part of this comes from the nursing. He often substitutes breast milk (or whole milk, during the day) for food. The kid just doesn't have an appetite. And kids in our family are HUGE. DH is 6'4", I'm 5'8", and we were both chubby toddlers.

I feel guilty and completely desperate. Has anyone else struggled with this?

TIA for any help/advice/encouragement you can offer.

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Re: XP Weaning advice?

  • It's tricky! @cabusbey‌ he's 18 months.

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  • Lurker here :) I just weaned my 14 month old and what seemed to help us was to offer a water bottle (camelback to be precise) when he would wake up in the night. Also, my husband starting consoling him in the middle of the night, I know this isn't an option for everyone but it helped us. Or maybe offering whole milk before bed would ease your mind to know he has a full tummy before bed. I think weaning was harder on me than him. I honestly feel like I grieved after weaning but DS got over it much easier. It also helped me to remember that he will be getting more sleep (eventually) when he doesn't have to get up to nurse and it will be a lot easier on your body! Good luck, I hoped this helped.
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  • Thanks for the tips, @cabusbey and @SidneyEllen! I'll try avoiding the rocking chair--I never thought of that. I'll also try the water option!

    What I struggle with most is how long to let him cry. I'm just so used to going in there and nursing him when he cries... It breaks my heart to not be able to offer him comfort anymore.

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  • @MaritimeMama3 let me just start by saying that you are amazing! The fact that you've been able to nurse this long is incredible and no small feat!

    I think every mama kind of "knows" when their time to stop is, and it sounds like you've reached that point. As PP's said, I think I definitely kind of mourned and took it harder than DD did when we weaned.

    What worked for me is eliminating 1 "session" per week. So, if I was nursing 3x a day, I'd eliminate one nursing session the first week, give him (and your body) time to acclimate, and then eliminate another the next week. If you do it the way I did, you'd have him weaned by week 3.

    This gentle transition is what seemed to work for us, and those late night nursing sessions are now a distant memory. HTH!

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  • Good job momma! I weaned my first at 16 months. We started by moving her nighttime routine to the living room instead of her room. I would sit it the rocker, read a book, nurse, bed. First step was to start disassociating the nursing from the sleep. Then I started giving whole milk instead of nursing. When I put her down I would stay and "shush" her for 5 minutes, leave for 5, comfort for 10 minutes, leave for 10, then 15, 15. It took a few nights but she got it. After that one Was eliminated We slowly worked the other feedings out. It was helpful to do it when my husband had a few days off of work so he could go in the middle of the night. Good luck!
  • Everyone else had some good things to say! I weaned DS at 14 months and thankfully it was easy. DH took a few nights of going in with him and giving him a bottle of half BM, half WCM, and we transitioned it to WCM. After a few days we switched off each night and only did a bottle, and he thankfully handled it very easily.
                                       
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  • I'm sorry your worried, breastfeeding always had a level of stress for me too. Supply/demand issues were constantly on my mind. As for weaning I officially weaned at 10months with some pumped milk reserved to last me a bit, but since you LO already drink WCM it should be even easier for you. I just started with the shortest feedings 1 by 1 which for me were in the middle of the day. Then I eventually dropped the before bed nursing session and last to go for me was morning since that was my favorite one. I tried to hold on to it for the time together but he flat out refused to nurse after about 2 weeks so I was done. Hope it goes smoothly for you.
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  • I weaned my LOs at 13 and 14 months. They were both at about 3 feedings per day when I decided I needed to be done. I started by eliminating the feeding that they were least attached to. And then left the hardest for last. For DD that was the bedtime feeding. We gave her a cup of whole milk at bedtime (she didn't drink much) and DH put her to bed. We did that for a couple weeks before I put myself back into her bedtime routine. For DS it was the middle of the night feeding and it was the same thing. It took about 3 days before they were both sort of over it. Good luck!
  • Thank you so much for all your replies and support! It's nice to hear others have been through it and survived, and you've given me extra motivation to stick to it. Even though it's not "recommended", I think we're going to try the cold turkey approach. DH just put him to bed with a bottle of WCM, and it sounds like he's asleep, after 15 minutes of crying. We'll see how often he wakes up. Please cross your fingers for us!

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  • I don't have advice but I'm glad the first attempt seems to have gone well.

    My DD is 18 months and loves the boobs. We've struggled so much with her taking a bottle and then sippy cup as well as major eating issues.

    We're down to nursing before nap and MOTN. I am planning to wean in a month or so and I'll be going cold turkey for nap (and unfortunately letting her CIO to fall asleep). Then, once that is solved I'm going to start offering sippy cups MOTN instead of nursing. She's going to spazz but I know it's time.

    I have no desire to tandem nurse and I want her to be done with BFing for a few months before the baby arrives in hopes that she won't get jealous lol.
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