Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
vvvvvfee
member
Re: Extended BFing Check-in
2. Did you plan on nursing this long? Yes.
3. What are your plans for weaning? Self wean or see how it goes when we get pregnant again.
4. What's your favorite part of nursing an older baby/toddler? I love that she can tell me what she wants when she needs it and she's gotten good at maneuvering herself so positioning her isn't all on me anymore.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week:
What's something funny your LO has said/done recently? She likes to drop items behind furniture and turn around and give an "uh oh" with her two hands raised palms up. It's adorable.
2. Did you plan on nursing this long? Yes...I was always planning a year and hoping for 2
3. What are your plans for weaning? The thought of weaning makes me sad. Sunday morning was the last time we decided that he will nurse in the morning. We are TTC and the lactation is really getting in the way of that. Hoping I can get KU and still nurse at least once a day for a while longer. I may need to wean completely if this doesn't work. I don't like it.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week:
What's something funny your LO has said/done recently? Whenever he spills some water, or finds dirt on the floor, or does something "bad" like climbing the stairs without supervision, he says something that sounds like "a-ya-yay" in the funniest tones and really loud. He knows whatever he is doing is "bad" and does it on purpose to get a reaction out of us. We laugh every single time
2. Did you plan on nursing this long? No, I also thought we would only go a year.
3. What are your plans for weaning? Currently, I'm planning on letting her self-wean, but that may change depending on how TTC for a second child goes.
4. What's your favorite part of nursing an older baby/toddler? I like that it's our bonding time and I think it helps keep illness away.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week:
What's something funny your LO has said/done recently? She used to say "later, later" when we'd ask her to do something she didn't want to do (e.g. brushing her teeth, going to bed, or getting her diaper changed), but now she says, "I tired" and pretends to be sleeping. Another funny thing she did when we were out to dinner last week was that she started dancing to the music in her high chair (while sitting). I love that she didn't care who was watching or what they thought of her.
17 months on Friday
2. Did you plan on nursing this long?
Not originally, but I love the snuggle time. I was just planning on one year. DH would probably be happy if I was done though as we are approaching tandem nursing come February.
3. What are your plans for weaning? Child led at this point. She will have to nurse after the baby though. That may cause some issues with jealousy.
4. What's your favorite part about nursing an older baby/toddler?
Definitely the bonding and seeing how much she still loves nursing.
What's something funny your LO has done or said recently?
She's started repeating things and mispronounced alligator so it sounds like ally lalalala.
For @vvvvvfee, the first trimester is rough for nursing. I didn't enjoy it either and wanted to quit many times. I guess I was too stubborn to give up and I'm still nursing at 31 weeks. It did help to shorten sessions especially if biting or gnawing started up. You got this!! Let me know if you have questions too.
2. Did you plan on nursing this long? My initial goal was 1 yr with hopes to go as long as she wanted.
3. What are your plans for weaning? I don't have any
4. What's your favorite part of nursing an older baby/toddler? Getting my snuggles on her while she's still and calm (unless she's being a crazy lady), being able to gaze into her eyes after a long day away and feeling so connected still!
Non-breastfeeding question of the week:
What's something funny your LO has said/done recently? She's really been interacting with her other buds at daycare this week. She learned one little boy's name and keeps yelling "That's Jack!" over and over again when she sees him. I think she's really proud of herself for being able to say the 2 words together and recognizing her buddy. It's adorable.
-My step-daughter is 12 years old.
-BFP #1 on 9/2/12, D&C 10/18/12 no heartbeat on US @ 10 weeks.
-BFP #2 on 1/7/13, R was born on 9/22/13 via C-Section
do you feel like nursing got easier to tolerate once you were past the first trimester? it's not that it's physically painful for me, it's more a creepy-crawly hypersensitivity thing.
1. I have two DDs - DD1 is 4 and self-weaned at 16.5 months. DD2 is 19 months and still nursing.
2. Not really. She never seemed as into nursing as her older sister, who weaned much earlier, was. So I am surprised that she's nursed longer, but I have always had every intention of letting her nurse as long as she wants.
3. Planning to let her wean on her own. I might start considering weaning her around 2 just because it's exhausting for me and I can already tell my supply isn't what it used to be.
4. I love the special private time that we have together and the snuggles.
Non BF question:
She loves to watch the Mickey Mouse clubhouse and always has to hop up at the beginning and end of the show to do the hot dog dance. She kicks her little legs and it's so cute.
1. How old is your LO? She will be 3 in March
2. Did you plan on nursing this long? No. I was one of those annoying ignorant people who thought nursing past 1 was gross. Clearly my views changed!
3. What are your plans for weaning? Self weaning unless it is causing preterm labor (I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant)
4. What's your favorite part of nursing an older baby/toddler? I think what I love most is that since she's able to verbally ask for it. It shows me how much she still loves it and that she finds it comforting. It just is a constant reminder that we have this special bond.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week:
What's something funny your LO has said/done recently? She snatched DH's phone out of his hands the other day and gasped and exclaimed "I need to check my emails RIGHT NOW!"
2. Did you plan on nursing this long? Nope. I had no specific plan and struggled early on with supply issues so really just had a "one day at a time" mindset. But various "milestones" came and went and neither LO nor I was ready to stop so here we are!
3. What are your plans for weaning? Leaning more toward child-led at this point since we are already at morning and night nursing only. For the first time this week she refused her morning nursing session and I really had mixed feelings about that. But the next day she was back to her usual routine so not sure what that was about.
4. What's your favorite part of nursing an older baby/toddler? Not stressing about my supply and whether she is getting enough.
Non-breastfeeding question of the week:
What's something funny your LO has said/done recently? LO has gotten the idea that we take her temperature in her ear (she has had lots of colds recently so unfortunately we have been doing this a lot). Whenever I tell her it's time to take her temperature she grabs her ear and says "Ear!". The other day I wanted to check if it was too cold to go out and play. I picked up my phone and told LO I was going to check the temperature and she immediately grabbed her ear and said "Ear!".
2. I didn't have clear goals related to how long I wanted to nurse. I had clear goals about BF in other areas. I really had a pretty open mind and I often thought out loud about it to anyone who would listen long enough before and after Dd was born. That helped me to find what I really wanted.
3. I plan on child-led weaning.
4. I love how tenderly I feel towards DD when I'm nursing her. I love how she can express her excitement towards nursing.
5. Yesterday I took DD and her cousin (only 9 months older) to the playground. On the way back DD was telling her cuz "jokes" and just cracking her up. The jokes were "cuckoo!!!" And "aaaaahhhrrrrr" I really thought it was so cute how they were interacting.
@vvvvvfee congrats! I have not BTDT but I am newly pregnant too (6 weeks) and I just wanted to offer my support. Hang in there! I don't have any aversion yet (though I have had it off and on since day 1 of nursing DD before getting KU) I do have nipple pain related to pregnancy. I am taking the attitude of just muscling through it. DD nurses so much (it seems like she actually wants to nurse more the last 3 weeks) and I am willing to tandem so I just try to distract myself from the pain during nursing sessions and keep going.
Even though I've had nursing aversion I don't think I can help there bc my solution was to end the nursing session as gently as possible, get up, walk around, talk, move, stretch, give it time and come back and try again and that almost always did the trick.
Anyway congrats and GL!
thanks so much and congrats to you too!
i think things are starting to get a little better for me now as far as the aversion goes. one thing that definitely helped was cutting DS back from 3x a day to 2x a day, because i found the aversion worse when my breasts were mostly empty. at 2x a day there's a decent amount of milk both times, so it's more bearable.
i think i will start adding a pregnant/BFing bonus question to the check-in, since there are several of us here now.
2. Did you plan on nursing this long?
3. What are your plans for weaning?
4. What's your favorite part of nursing an older baby/toddler?
Non-breastfeeding question of the week:
What's something funny your LO has said/done recently?