Going tomorrow to confirm if our 8 wk old is still w/out a heartbeat after check up last week. — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Going tomorrow to confirm if our 8 wk old is still w/out a heartbeat after check up last week.

This has been the most wrenching week of my and my DH's lives. The loss is hard to pin point and it feels so foreign. I go from functioning, to crying at least every 2-3 hours on this vicious, tiring and cleansing cycle. It is hard to understand how loving something so small that we never even met is so possible. I feel more ready then ever to get pregnant again and for that I am grateful, but now there is a new anxiety that I did not have about not just "can I get pregnant" but can it stick?? I am now scared for my apt. tomorrow and the news. And trying to decide whether it is best to wait, take the pill, or do the surgery. I would love the closure of the surgery, but problem is that our deductible is $10,000 so I don't think the surgery is going to be possible. As of now, physically, there no major bleeding, no cramping whatsoever, but some spotting which I have had the whole time I was pregnant anyhow, even at 6 and 7 weeks when there were heartbeats. So there is still this illogical hope I am carrying for tomorrow, though I know it is futile. What I am looking for are not horror stories, there are plenty of those online, but stories of m/c survival, tips and advice, esp. those who did it naturally or with the medication. The emotional pain has been present, but I am awaiting the physical. Thanks.


Re: Going tomorrow to confirm if our 8 wk old is still w/out a heartbeat after check up last week.

  • I am so sorry you are going through this *hug*

    I am a little confused though, have you not yet confirmed you have miscarried? Is there a chance your dates are off and you weren't as far along as you thought last week? 

    All of your feelings are pretty normal for what you are going through and it's hard to know what route to take, be it pill, natural, or a D&C. Unfortunately sometimes you don't have that choice and your Dr will tell you what it's best you go with since every situation is different. 

    I would recommend reading the Advice and Experience thread at the top of this board. It gives insight to the different options. You may want to wait to see what your Dr says and if they point you in one direction you can read up on that option. It may be overwhelming right now to read everything since you are not sure which one you will be going with. 

    Again, I am so very sorry. Please come back and update us to let us know what happened and how you're doing. 
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 

    blackbird818[Deleted User]ashleyann62215
  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. I personally would choose a d&c and here's an insurance workaround: there is always a cash price for a d&c because it's technically the same procedure as an abortion and many people pay cash for those. I had a d&c in NYC for a 9 week mmc and the cash price would have been $425.

    Also if you go the natural route at home, an 8 week baby is far enough along that you may become alarmed by the amt of blood and tissue you pass and end up going to the ER anyways, as a number of women here have done. That bill will be much higher than if you had a d&c.

    Again, so sorry, and please know it gets easier over time. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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  • I am so sorry to hear that you are in limbo right now. Will you be doing blood work tomorrow to check your HcG levels? Could it be that your not as far along as @Nikolie93 said? I'm also sorry that while you're dealing with this stress, you are also dealing with the stress of having to figure out which route to go because of payment options (I'm Canadian so every option is free). I took the pill route and it was excruciating :'( But that's what the doctor suggested and to be honest, I wasn't up for a D&C (the thought of surgery freaks me out). The doctor will suggest what is best for how far along you are.

    Please keep us posted tomorrow. Sending positive vibes your way. xo
  • So sorry you're going through this. :(
  • I'm sorry you're going through this, my appointment was last week and I have my next one, to confirm, on Thursday.  My emotions are nearly exactly as you described.  I don't have any advice, but wanted to say that you're not alone. 
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