Fun without drinking

Handree · December 2014

Before we got pregnant, hubby and I would spend every weekend partying with friends and family. We would go out a lot, to the bar, beach, friends houses, bowling, play pool, etc. Most activities were centered around having a few drinks and socializing. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm tired and nauseous all the time and don't want to go out. Plus I can't drink so things aren't as fun for me anymore. Hubby is bored and gets restless sitting at home watching tv every night. What kind of non alcoholic fun can we have together?

Bodoni · December 2014

You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.

JennyJensing · December 2014

Bodoni said:

You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.

This! Not to be a Debbie Downer here, but DH and I were very much the same as you are. I had a REALLY hard time adjusting once baby got here. Your entire world will revolve around baby. You will get headaches because you will only be able to sleep for 2-3 hours at a time. You will feel like life will never return to normal. If you're like us, eventually you'll get back to a point where you MIGHT go out once a month, but your life will never be the same. And you'll be ok with that! Enjoy your sleep and down time while you can. GL!

oneblessedmess · December 2014

Uhh, my H and I don't drink and we have always done all the things you have mentioned above (well, minus the bar). You don't have to drink to attend those types of social functions. We also like to try different restaurants with different types of foods, see movies, hit up museums or see plays at the theater. Sometimes we host movie or game nights at our house.

Obviously if you're simply too tired to do any of that there isn't much you can do about it, but when you do feel up to it take advantage of the energy! And, your husband can go do something with his buddies if he is that bored. Not saying he should be out partying it up every night without you, but if he is really getting bored it will probably be better for both of you if he gets some time out of the house.

JennyJensing · December 2014

I agree @caleo! DH brought home eggnog last night and I almost vom'd just looking at it!

winterbaby1210 · December 2014

As soon as you're out of the first tri you'll probably want to do those things again, at least for a few hours until everyone gets too drunk and annoying to be around!

I know it sounds silly, but try bingo! Bring some friends and make a night of it. It's fun, seriously. It's also an amazing place to people watch!

And I agree with pp, try out new resturants if your stomach is up to it. See as many movies as possible. Comedy clubs are fun, try the ridiculous calorie filled frozen whipped cream mocktails they always seem to have. Laser tag is fun too if you're up for it. Mini golf, I personally hate it but some people must enjoy it since I see it everywhere. You know, just throwing out ideas I didn't see posted yet.

MsOCT · December 2014

Let's face it, first tri sucks. I'm way too tired to do anything fun, booze or no booze! Send him out by himself if he's antsy, catch up on sleep, and plan to have some fun in second tri when you're feeling more normal.

Vegasbb · December 2014

I second what the other STMs have said. If he's bored now staying at home, it's 1000x worse once baby gets here. Now that we have a kid we spend 90% of our nights having some wine (when not pg, now he drinks without me) and watching movies or TV on netflix and cuddling on the couch. I love my life and wouldn't trade it for anything! Before having kids we were extremely social and went out drinking or to restaurants or to friend's house nearly every night. With a newborn you will be confined to your house nearly all the time in the evenings (babies go to bed early and sitters are expensive!), so maybe start working on an evening routine at home that you guys enjoy.

Brummy14 · December 2014

While you're not feeling well, can DH go out with some of his buddies? You hopefully won't feel cruddy for the entire pregnancy, and if he's got his act together, he won't be spending a ton of time away from you guys those early months to lend a hand. I've already been coercing DH to plan LOTS of guy time. When #3 arrives, he's going to be basically in change of the twins 100% of the time we're both at home.

ashiscute · December 2014

Ditto PP. When you have a newborn watching a whole movie in one sitting is a major accomplishment. You and YH are going to have to adjust your expectations.

For now I'd go out to eat, go to the movies. Maybe take small day trips. Sporting events if you have a preferred sports team. All of these things are doable when you have kids but much more difficult. Enjoy being the two of you even if it's not always something exciting.

bosco213 · December 2014

My husband and I were pretty boring before pregnancy. A typical Friday/Saturday night would consist of going to the movies or dinner with my sister and BIL or having them over for dinner/going there. Sometimes game night and movies at home. It still works so our weekends haven't changed much

My sis and I are not big drinkers anyway and DH and BIL will just drink at home and hang out on the deck, smoke cigars, etc.

amargaret24 · December 2014

I know how you feel! My fiance and I spent lots of evenings posted up at our quite bar, having cocktails, talking about the past and future. Was fun! When we found out I was pregnant (total surprise) it was really hard for me to wrap my head around not drinking, no caffeine, etc. It was a bit of a shock when I realized how much I depended on those drinks to get me through situations (work, social events, etc). I was paranoid I wasn't going to be able to go out and have fun! And I was afraid my fiance was going to resent his new boring life!!! BUTTTT I really just tried to enjoy myself out. So far, my fiance and I have gone out to bars, dinner, bowling, movies, etc. I must admit I'm honestly not THAT fatigued, but with that being said, a late night is 11/12 for us, whereas it would last until last-call before.

Just last night we sat at a quite bar, fiance drank beers, I downed water like no ones business, we split a pizza, and laughed all night. Is it weird that I find it kind of cute that when my fiance gets buzzed (and I'm totally sober) he gets allllll lovey dovey with me. I guess when I was drinking I hardly noticed. I'm rather enjoying it!

Also.... from reading through a lot of these threads... it's important to remember everyone's lives work on different levels. I believe you can totally have fun going out, just shift your way of viewing the event. If you get tired then bail. Your husband will probably be stoked to be able to hang with you, your friends, and see that you're smiling. I've learned that guys just like when their ladies are happy. Sometimes I have to fake it a bit til I make it, but the end result is always the best! Trust me, they fake it til they make it too while we are bitching and moaning about hormones, etc.

I guess the reality of all of this pregnancy, having a baby, changing your whole world thing is - it's not easy...but it's amazing. It shouldn't be a constant battle.....I believe it can be fun and fair!

muffyvonmuff · December 2014

Bodoni said:
You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.

Hah! You sound like you have a great social life. Sucks to be you. OP don't let people bring you down, I totally feel you. I miss going out with friends and having drinks too. At least it's winter? FOMO is way worse in summer right? That's what I tell myself. I also have a 14 month old and still get to go out so anyone telling you how you're "in for a rude awakening" either had a shit social life before, with nothing to maintain. Or had shitty friends. July and the beach will be here before you know it.

Mamamads · December 2014

There is some life adjustments but your old life isn't gone forever. My husband and I just went out last night and we have a 2 year old. So to say you will never do anything fun again is really a huge exaggeration. Yes life will change but for the better and it's all about planning. As for right now most those things you can do without drinking so obviously you can go out once you feel better. As for your guy being bored/stir crazy maybe have him go out wirh some guy friends and you go enjoy a manicure or a nice night in. ENJOY THIS ALONE TIME, enjoy resting, movies, sleeping in and if you feel comfortable with it an occasional glass of wine on your outings is usually just fine.

yelah250 · December 2014

I think the first trimester is way worse than the newborn phase with only one kid. Babies are super portable and love to sleep in arms - get a good carrier and you can go just about anywhere with your LO. Your social
Life will change, but it won't all be for the worst - parents still want to go out and socialize, too.

Can you still go out a bit? We've been keeping up with our social life (locked in to so many holiday events with 2 kids), which involves our kids, other parents we are friends with, alcohol, some late nights...ive been attending and being the DD. W/ a 6 and 8 year old, it's easy to be home and in bed by midnight, though. I would probably struggle with anything after that. I'm pretty tired, but it just is what it is right now. I go as long as I'm not puking. Lol

jlbaker08 · December 2014

You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.
Hah! You sound like you have a great social life. Sucks to be you. OP don't let people bring you down, I totally feel you. I miss going out with friends and having drinks too. At least it's winter? FOMO is way worse in summer right? That's what I tell myself. I also have a 14 month old and still get to go out so anyone telling you how you're "in for a rude awakening" either had a shit social life before, with nothing to maintain. Or had shitty friends. July and the beach will be here before you know it.

I'm with @Bodoni here, I only go out for holidays or my birthday, so I'm averaging 3-4 times a year... and my social life didn't suck at all before DD, I went out most weekends and I have fantastic friends. My friends didn't have kids until my DD was 1.5 or 2 so they were still going out and I wasn't anymore; it didn't mean that we wouldn't still hang out or get lunch when we could but it's totally different when you have a little person in tow (or you have to find a babysitter who is expecting you to be home at a particular hour).

Also, when I do go out, I'm exhausted from working and parenting so my nights out are essentially over at 11/12 when I start yawning and dozing off. The idea that you can go out drinking and partying then come home to your kids is great, however, getting home after last call and having a few too many doesn't go well when the wee one wakes up at 5am anyway. Try nursing a hangover and dealing with a toddler (let alone if you're actually nursing and you had too much to drink to feel comfortable using that milk).

Having a child completely changes your life. Period. Fortunately, I'd say that mine changed for the better and there's nothing I'd rather be doing than dinner and a movie with my sweet girl. I wouldn't trade that for all bar hopping and beers in the world!

jlbaker08 · December 2014

Also, this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36OKi1DRgoA

this is actually what it is like to have children and spend time with friends who don't yet...

wineandcake · December 2014

We were quite social before having DS, lots of nights out, friends over, travelling, etc. Once he was born, things changed - not in a bad way, just different. We have some drinks on occasion, have friends over rather than going to their houses, earlier dinners, and our trips are usually to see family. I think it was a natural change for us since we were at that age where our friends started getting 'adult jobs' (we were the first to have real jobs and buy a house) and things slowed down for everyone.

Having one is easy to be social, as a newborn they will sleep anywhere and don't have an early bedtime routine. We took DS everywhere with us and never had an issue, he actually did much better out of the house. Now that we're having a second things will probably be trickier because DS is in his routine, only sleeps in his crib, and goes to bed early. The new baby will be flexible but DS not so much - plus we'll be even more exhausted because our tiny terror doesn't sleep.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

muffyvonmuff · December 2014

jlbaker08 said:

Also, this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36OKi1DRgoA
this is actually what it is like to have children and spend time with friends who don't yet…

Granted I don't have 2 yet but so far with one kid I still host brunches with all my childless friends twice a month no problem. I meet them for lunch or dinner and still go out to bars, yup till 1am, and still wake up with DS at 830. Newborn was even easier with a non mobile baby sleeping in his carseat while we chatted at a restaurant. DH and I flip flop and each go out with friends once a week sometimes twice. And I do have a babysitter that I call and we pay so we can both go out together. Im hosting a party this week and went out with friends on Saturday night, so my life is very much like it was BC (before children). Social lives are what you make of them.

ashiscute · December 2014

muffyvonmuff said:

Bodoni said:
You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.
Hah! You sound like you have a great social life. Sucks to be you. OP don't let people bring you down, I totally feel you. I miss going out with friends and having drinks too. At least it's winter? FOMO is way worse in summer right? That's what I tell myself. I also have a 14 month old and still get to go out so anyone telling you how you're "in for a rude awakening" either had a shit social life before, with nothing to maintain. Or had shitty friends. July and the beach will be here before you know it.

Congrats that you still party a lot even though you have a LO?

Anyone who doesn't think parenting is a rude awakening must not be doing it properly. It doesn't mean you never leave your house. It just means that you are going to have to figure out what your new normal is. Not everyone can afford to go out a lot and not everyone wants to. Doesn't make your social life better. Or your friends.

Bodoni · December 2014

muffyvonmuff said:

Bodoni said:
You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.
Hah! You sound like you have a great social life. Sucks to be you. OP don't let people bring you down, I totally feel you. I miss going out with friends and having drinks too. At least it's winter? FOMO is way worse in summer right? That's what I tell myself. I also have a 14 month old and still get to go out so anyone telling you how you're "in for a rude awakening" either had a shit social life before, with nothing to maintain. Or had shitty friends. July and the beach will be here before you know it.

I'm confused as to how you can determine what my social life is like from this post. But as long as it makes you feel better about your parenting style, by all means feel free to make shit up.

OctoberStars · December 2014

@muffyvonmuff‌ there's no need to tell people their social life sucks. That was out of line. Don't think I didn't notice you @Mamamads‌ love titting that comment. The drama llama is consistent.

jlbaker08 · December 2014

muffyvonmuff said:

Granted I don't have 2 yet but so far with one kid I still host brunches with all my childless friends twice a month no problem. I meet them for lunch or dinner and still go out to bars, yup till 1am, and still wake up with DS at 830. Newborn was even easier with a non mobile baby sleeping in his carseat while we chatted at a restaurant. DH and I flip flop and each go out with friends once a week sometimes twice. And I do have a babysitter that I call and we pay so we can both go out together. Im hosting a party this week and went out with friends on Saturday night, so my life is very much like it was BC (before children). Social lives are what you make of them.

8:30? Congratulations! Unfortunately with children, there's no guarantee that they will sleep until 8:30 and it just so happens that by Murphy's law, the nights I'd get home at 3 would be the mornings DD woke up at 5:30.

I'm not saying I don't enjoy spending time with friends or having a "night out" every once in a while, I'm just saying it's tough to do that often and I'd actually prefer to be home with my girl than out with friends most nights.

Edit to add: My DD's father goes out with his friends on the weekends and has lunch with friends and beers with the guys watching football games, his life is very much like it was BC (before child), but that's because he's absent in our daughter's life for the most part. (save the once or twice a week we swing by his job so he can say hello to her)

muffyvonmuff · December 2014

jlbaker08 said:

muffyvonmuff said:

Granted I don't have 2 yet but so far with one kid I still host brunches with all my childless friends twice a month no problem. I meet them for lunch or dinner and still go out to bars, yup till 1am, and still wake up with DS at 830. Newborn was even easier with a non mobile baby sleeping in his carseat while we chatted at a restaurant. DH and I flip flop and each go out with friends once a week sometimes twice. And I do have a babysitter that I call and we pay so we can both go out together. Im hosting a party this week and went out with friends on Saturday night, so my life is very much like it was BC (before children). Social lives are what you make of them.

8:30? Congratulations! Unfortunately with children, there's no guarantee that they will sleep until 8:30 and it just so happens that by Murphy's law, the nights I'd get home at 3 would be the mornings DD woke up at 5:30.

I'm not saying I don't enjoy spending time with friends or having a "night out" every once in a while, I'm just saying it's tough to do that often and I'd actually prefer to be home with my girl than out with friends most nights.

Edit to add: My DD's father goes out with his friends on the weekends and has lunch with friends and beers with the guys watching football games, his life is very much like it was BC (before child), but that's because he's absent in our daughter's life for the most part. (save the once or twice a week we swing by his job so he can say hello to her)

Im really sorry he is not present in her life, that does sound like there is a lot more on your plate. My husband and I have always gone out separately or together even before kids. Now its more often seperate since someone has to be home with DS but I have always made my friendships a big priority. And I make date nights for us a priority as well. I think its really healthy for people to spend time with friends and their spouses alone, helps get a break from a lot of the monotony of being at home. A divorced friend of mine years ago said "never forget to take time for your other titles in life" and she couldn't be more right. Besides being a mom and a wife I am also a friend among other things. So I really think the "in for a rude awaking" is garbage. Any relationship is what you put into it, and having kids doesn't mean your social life is gone unless you want it to be.

Handree · December 2014

Thank you! This made me feel a lot better reading it :-)

Young_Love · December 2014

Do you guys have pets? MH and I used to go out a ton, and once our dogs came into our lives, we found so many fun things to do with them. We take them to the park, to the beach, go to dog meetups, all kinds of fun stuff. And when we're just sitting around the house, the dogs are always entertaining us. We're always having a blast with these two furballs.

Mamamads · December 2014

OctoberStars said:
@muffyvonmuff‌ there's no need to tell people their social life sucks. That was out of line. Don't think I didn't notice you @Mamamads‌ love titting that comment. The drama llama is consistent.

Don't think that I care. Like at all what you notice. Her comment was way off base basically scaring op into thinking life is over now that she's having a baby. Hate that mentality, it is what you make of it.
But thanks for trying to be the comment/love tit police. Good effort on a wk!

Bodoni · December 2014

Mamamads said:

OctoberStars said:
@muffyvonmuff‌ there's no need to tell people their social life sucks. That was out of line. Don't think I didn't notice you @Mamamads‌ love titting that comment. The drama llama is consistent.
Don't think that I care. Like at all what you notice. Her comment was way off base basically scaring op into thinking life is over now that she's having a baby. Hate that mentality, it is what you make of it.
But thanks for trying to be the comment/love tit police. Good effort on a wk!

Wow. I wrote two sentences, neither of which implied that her life was over. Life changes when you have a child, if you think that is being off base then you are a moron.

Mamamads · December 2014

Bodoni said:

Mamamads said:

OctoberStars said:
@muffyvonmuff‌ there's no need to tell people their social life sucks. That was out of line. Don't think I didn't notice you @Mamamads‌ love titting that comment. The drama llama is consistent.
Don't think that I care. Like at all what you notice. Her comment was way off base basically scaring op into thinking life is over now that she's having a baby. Hate that mentality, it is what you make of it.
But thanks for trying to be the comment/love tit police. Good effort on a wk!
Wow. I wrote two sentences, neither of which implied that her life was over. Life changes when you have a child, if you think that is being off base then you are a moron.

I think it was that with the combo of a few other scary type comments about after baby comes. Obviously life changes nobody is debating that.

JennyJensing · December 2014

muffyvonmuff said:

You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.
Hah! You sound like you have a great social life. Sucks to be you. OP don't let people bring you down, I totally feel you. I miss going out with friends and having drinks too. At least it's winter? FOMO is way worse in summer right? That's what I tell myself. I also have a 14 month old and still get to go out so anyone telling you how you're "in for a rude awakening" either had a shit social life before, with nothing to maintain. Or had shitty friends. July and the beach will be here before you know it.

What a fucking bratty thing to assume, much less say aloud or actually type! DH and I had a very healthy social life before DD, and Id say we still do. But at some point, you have to grow up and priorities change. If I'm working 40 hours a week and leaving DD with daycare, the last thing I want to do is leave her with someone else on the weekend or after work one night. To me, that's just part of being a good mom and my DD is way more important than any sorority sisters from the past, etc. I also think doing things separate from my hubby all the time is a recipe for divorce. We take the occasional boys/girls weekend trip or do a dinner after work once a month, but he is my husband and I married him for a reason-mostly because I like him and want to spend time with him. OP, I think it's definitely important to find a balance, but I was mostly trying to prepare you for something that I had a hard time adjusting to at first. GL!

OctoberStars · December 2014

Mamamads said:

@muffyvonmuff‌ there's no need to tell people their social life sucks. That was out of line. Don't think I didn't notice you @Mamamads‌ love titting that comment. The drama llama is consistent.
Don't think that I care. Like at all what you notice. Her comment was way off base basically scaring op into thinking life is over now that she's having a baby. Hate that mentality, it is what you make of it. But thanks for trying to be the comment/love tit police. Good effort on a wk!

I'd say from the # of love tits I got for that comment that a lot of people on here are tired of you trying to start drama on threads. It's just a matter of time before you get banned again.

Mamamads · December 2014

OctoberStars said:

Mamamads said:

OctoberStars said:
@muffyvonmuff‌ there's no need to tell people their social life sucks. That was out of line. Don't think I didn't notice you @Mamamads‌ love titting that comment. The drama llama is consistent.
Don't think that I care. Like at all what you notice. Her comment was way off base basically scaring op into thinking life is over now that she's having a baby. Hate that mentality, it is what you make of it.
But thanks for trying to be the comment/love tit police. Good effort on a wk!

I'd say from the # of love tits I got for that comment that a lot of people on here are tired of you trying to start drama on threads. It's just a matter of time before you get banned again.

Liking someone's comment doesn't equal starting drama. Calm down.

ChristyM87 · December 2014

JennyJensing said:

muffyvonmuff said:

Bodoni said:
You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.
Hah! You sound like you have a great social life. Sucks to be you. OP don't let people bring you down, I totally feel you. I miss going out with friends and having drinks too. At least it's winter? FOMO is way worse in summer right? That's what I tell myself. I also have a 14 month old and still get to go out so anyone telling you how you're "in for a rude awakening" either had a shit social life before, with nothing to maintain. Or had shitty friends. July and the beach will be here before you know it.

What a fucking bratty thing to assume, much less say aloud or actually type!
DH and I had a very healthy social life before DD, and Id say we still do. But at some point, you have to grow up and priorities change. If I'm working 40 hours a week and leaving DD with daycare, the last thing I want to do is leave her with someone else on the weekend or after work one night. To me, that's just part of being a good mom and my DD is way more important than any sorority sisters from the past, etc.
I also think doing things separate from my hubby all the time is a recipe for divorce. We take the occasional boys/girls weekend trip or do a dinner after work once a month, but he is my husband and I married him for a reason-mostly because I like him and want to spend time with him.
OP, I think it's definitely important to find a balance, but I was mostly trying to prepare you for something that I had a hard time adjusting to at first. GL!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I think it is a bit much to say spending time separately is a recipe for divorce. My husband and I are not one of those couples who have a lot of similar hobbies. If he wants to spend time doing his stuff with his friends sometimes that is fine, and we do manage to still find time to be together as a couple

muffyvonmuff · December 2014

JennyJensing said:

muffyvonmuff said:

You are in for a rude awakening once the baby gets here... Enjoy your alone time together.
Hah! You sound like you have a great social life. Sucks to be you. OP don't let people bring you down, I totally feel you. I miss going out with friends and having drinks too. At least it's winter? FOMO is way worse in summer right? That's what I tell myself. I also have a 14 month old and still get to go out so anyone telling you how you're "in for a rude awakening" either had a shit social life before, with nothing to maintain. Or had shitty friends. July and the beach will be here before you know it.

What a fucking bratty thing to assume, much less say aloud or actually type! DH and I had a very healthy social life before DD, and Id say we still do. But at some point, you have to grow up and priorities change. If I'm working 40 hours a week and leaving DD with daycare, the last thing I want to do is leave her with someone else on the weekend or after work one night. To me, that's just part of being a good mom and my DD is way more important than any sorority sisters from the past, etc. I also think doing things separate from my hubby all the time is a recipe for divorce. We take the occasional boys/girls weekend trip or do a dinner after work once a month, but he is my husband and I married him for a reason-mostly because I like him and want to spend time with him. OP, I think it's definitely important to find a balance, but I was mostly trying to prepare you for something that I had a hard time adjusting to at first. GL!

Grow up? Im a full grown adult, own 2 homes, go to work and still make time for myself, my friends, my husband, and my family. Time management, its a wonderful thing.

Priorities change? Nope. My friends are still my priority as is speeding time alone with my husband and family, very much the same.

Leave him with someone else? So you're saying hiring a sitter so my husband and I can go on a date is bad parenting. But Id be a "good mom" if I didn't go out once or twice a week and watched tv on my couch while my kid slept.

Doing things separate from you husband is a recipe for divorce? HAH! that must be a joke right? So If he likes to go watch the game with his friends on Monday night and I like to hit up the piano bar with my girl friends we should seek marriage counseling? Do you wipe his ass too? I would hate for you to do anything separate.

Important to find a balance. That is basically the only thing I can agree with you on. We have a very healthy balance in this household. And for us that means we can do things together or separately, and shockingly not need to file divorce papers.

JennyJensing · December 2014

Grow up? Im a full grown adult, own 2 homes, go to work and still make time for myself, my friends, my husband, and my family. Time management, its a wonderful thing.

CONGRATULATIONS on your two homes and all of this free time you supposedly have! Would you like me to start a slow clap for you?

Leave him with someone else? So you're saying hiring a sitter so my husband and I can go on a date is bad parenting. But Id be a "good mom" if I didn't go out once or twice a week and watched tv on my couch while my kid slept.

Being a "good mom" is different for everyone. My idea of being a good mom is not leaving my kid with someone else for the majority of his/her waking hours. I also don't require a date with my husband once a week-maybe because I spend more time with him than my friends, but wtf knows...

Doing things separate from you husband is a recipe for divorce? HAH! that must be a joke right? So If he likes to go watch the game with his friends on Monday night and I like to hit up the piano bar with my girl friends we should seek marriage counseling? Do you wipe his ass too? I would hate for you to do anything separate.

I said nothing about marriage counseling. I just know that I married my husband for a reason-and it wasn't because I wanted to leave him home all the time while I go pursue my "other interests." I don't wipe his ass yet, but I would have no problem doing that when we get old and decrepit if that's what he needs. I also don't see how that's your business.

At the end of the day, differences in opinion are what makes the world go around. I can respect your opinion, I just can't respect your snarky ass comments. I'm willing to bet your friends are actually the shit ones...based on some of your previous rude comments.

Mackalack · December 2014

jlbaker08 said:

muffyvonmuff said:

Granted I don't have 2 yet but so far with one kid I still host brunches with all my childless friends twice a month no problem. I meet them for lunch or dinner and still go out to bars, yup till 1am, and still wake up with DS at 830. Newborn was even easier with a non mobile baby sleeping in his carseat while we chatted at a restaurant. DH and I flip flop and each go out with friends once a week sometimes twice. And I do have a babysitter that I call and we pay so we can both go out together. Im hosting a party this week and went out with friends on Saturday night, so my life is very much like it was BC (before children). Social lives are what you make of them.

8:30? Congratulations! Unfortunately with children, there's no guarantee that they will sleep until 8:30 and it just so happens that by Murphy's law, the nights I'd get home at 3 would be the mornings DD woke up at 5:30.

This. I'm lucky to see 6:30 with DD. She was up at 5:50 the morning after our company Christmas party this year and I was a waste of space the entire day.

yelah250 · December 2014

I think we've found a balance between a few things separate and most things together as far as our social life. I think that a lot of it just comes down to logistics with kids - we preserve bed time as sacred on weeknights. This means that we don't do many social things on weeknights unless it's separate. On 2 wednesdays a month, I have a book club/girls night and the kids stay home with my husband. Every Thursday my husband plays in a soccer league. His games range from 7-11 PM so sometimes he's home for bedtime and sometimes he's not, but I definitely stay with the kids and do our normal routine. On weekends, for the most part, we hang out as a family. Mostly we hang out with friends at houses, vs going out to bars/restaurants. We do take our kids out to restaurants, but not usually with other families. It gets a little crazy with many kids eating together at a restaurant. lol.
A couple times a year we will hire a babysitter, and maybe 1/month (or 1/every other month) my parents will be here visiting and we will go out for a "date night". It's not really a priority for us - I'd rather not spend the $100 on a babysitter when we enjoy bringing them with us. That's just what works for us - we do have a very active social life but we include the kids in pretty much everything.

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