I told my mom :/

mantgal · December 2014

I just had the worst conversation with my mom. I finally told her I'm pregnant and she was so mad. She said I'm doing it wrong because my fiancé and I are not married yet and she raised me to be more responsible than that. Plus I was supposed to go to grad school in January and she doesn't think I can do it anymore. And then she said how "great" I'll look in pictures as a pregnant bride... I don't understand how parents can be so mean sometimes. None of this is ordeal at this time but it's a blessing and she can't even be happy.

nittanyllama · December 2014

I'm sorry she was so unsupportive. Hopefully she'll come around.

HunterK720 · December 2014

I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially with someone I feel should always be supportive. She'll come around I'm sure, I did it completely backwards too.. And now 3 years later I am married with a handsome 2 year old and almost 11 weeks with this LO. Good luck!:) hugs!!

MigdaliaRose · December 2014

Oh man, that really sucks. I'm so sorry she reacted that way. I hope that she will come around, but it doesn't change the fact that it was a poor reaction. *hugs* and be kind to yourself.

jlbaker08 · December 2014

This sucks! I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Mine wasn't happy either, for various reasons, and was very open about it. I believe the words "now I'll have to deal with 2" came out of her mouth (in regards to babysitting or spending time with more than one grandchild now).

Needless to say, I wasn't happy with her response but truthfully, I don't care how she feels about it. It happened, I'm pregnant, I'm happy and she'll get over it.

I did call her on the word "deal" though and told her that she will never say anything like that around my child because I'd hate for her to think she was a burden. I think that call out helped a little.

TeresaWE · December 2014

That flat out sucks your Mom reacted that way. I would try to not let it bother you too much. As you said, it is a blessing, not a catastrophe. {{{Hugs}}}
My mom was angry when she found out I was expecting my first. She was afraid it would take the attention away from her and her wedding! She came around when she realized baby's arrival worked to her advantage. Unfortunate but true.

MaritimeMama3 · December 2014

Wow, I'm so so sorry that your mom reacted that way. It must have really hurt. Be kind to yourself, and look for the support you need from your significant other, close friends, and other family.

I know it's painful right now, and you might be angry with her for some time, but I guarantee she'll come around. In the meantime, we're all here to remind you of how amazingly blessed you are and how special pregnancy is!

squeakyfrog15 · December 2014

So sorry she reacted that way! I hope she comes around sooner than later!

thiscoffeechick · December 2014

I'm so sorry. That must have hurt so bad. Sending love.

mantgal · December 2014

Thank you all for your support, I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Next I get to tell my dad.. Oh boy

knkmomof2 · December 2014

That is so horrible, I'm sorry she reacted that way. I am in no way supporting how she reacted but I have a mother that reacts similarly (she says mean, hurtful, way too honest things to me). From what I understand of my mom reacting that way is that a mother always has these hopes & dreams that you will do things a certain way (the way she wants it) and when it doesn't go her way, she says mean, hurtful things. So while what she said was not right at all and her reaction was terrible, try not to get too upset about it. You're having a beautiful baby & even though you aren't yet married, you're engaged at least! So who cares which came first, as long as everyone is happy and healthy. ❤️ I'm sure she will come around and be happy about becoming a grandmother. :x

MisSmartyPants · December 2014

That is so sad. I am so sorry you are going through this. Ignore her for now...and dont include her on things unless she shows a spec of interest in your life without the judgmental note attached to it.

TealAppeal · December 2014

That you are telling your mom and dad separately make me think that your mom's relationships may not always have gone smoothly. She may be partially lashing out due to fear for you? Still not an appropriate way to respond. Especially in 2014! Grad school is totally doable with a child!! I'm so sorry. I know from experience how much it stinks when your own mother sees your important life event as something to criticize.

islandwaddle · December 2014

I'm sorry to hear your moms being difficult.
I wish everyone would feed off our excitements.
If it makes you feel even the slightest bit better, I am horrified to tell my mom for this exact reason. My fiancé and I had always said we weren't going to have kids until our 30's. I'm 23 and he's 29. It just happens.
You will find support here all the time

Bodoni · December 2014

Bummer. I'm sorry she reacted that way. Don't let her get you down, I'm sure once the baby comes she'll change her tune. Don't give up on grad school, I know plenty of moms who are enrolled currently or have graduated with honors. It will all work out in the end

Ladybug4u2014 · December 2014

Your mom should be happy that you are healthy and here with her. It is your path you are on not hers.

traceyos · December 2014

I'm so sorry she reacted this way. Hopefully she'll come around and understand how much her support would mean to you. Either way, I'm sure she'll love the baby more than anyone can imagine!!

arjohn · December 2014

I'm so sorry she reacted that way. But like others have said, I bet she will come around. Babies have a way of making people change their tune, and hopefully it won't even take that long. It's your life and she should just be happy about anything that makes YOU happy.

KellyinHB · December 2014

That reaction just sucks. I'm so sorry. Like the others said, she will probably come around but words like that really sting. ((hugs))

BabyShaps · December 2014

Sometimes a I feel that older generations have trouble adjusting to the changing world around them. For example: when my mom was in high school her best friend got pregnant and went to "visit her aunt" for the duration of the pregnancy. It was often shunned to be with child outside of wedlock, much like divorce was shameful or a single woman at 30, mixed race couples, yada yada. Times change. I hope she will get over it and realize today's books are not written in stone. Wishing you well.

karencita20 · December 2014

I have been in the same situation trust me

but i finally told her and she accepted. But it takes time ! jusr giver her time..... your life isnt over just because yur prego ..

ifwisheswerefishes · December 2014

I'm so sorry that you're not having a supportive experience with your mother

abcdefghijk12345678 · December 2014

I'm sorry your mom responded that way. Hopefully she will come around with a more positive attitude eventually.

BabysMomma4 · December 2014

I feel really bad for you. She'll most likely come around. My mom and my fiance's mom are the only two that know outside of me and him. My mom wasn't thrilled either, but I wasn't myself when i found out. She told me she wouldn't judge me for my "choice" and she'd support me either way!! She told me in the past that she didn't think families that were blended were very good. Meaning that i have 3 kids from my first marriage and i shouldn't have any with my future second husband. However, he has none of his own so his mom is really silently quiet while she waits for us to announce it to others.

Hang in there and know you're not the only one!

LadyAnnibal · December 2014

*hugs* I'm sorry she reacted like that. I didn't tell my family for that exact reason. I'm sure she'll come around.

Mommasay0 · December 2014

She'll come around when she sees that sweet baby face. Babies are a blessing from God and they always come at the perfect time.

foodie12rn · December 2014

I'm sorry your mom isn't being supportive right now. Hopefully she will come around and realize this grandchild will be a blessing for her. ((Hugs))

squeegoi · December 2014

What a crappy reaction.

But good on you. I have a friend who became a PhD candidate after a too-short, very stressful, and hospital-ridden pregnancy with twins (who are now right on track where they need to be and ridiculously adorable.)

If she can get married and juggle twins while defending a dissertation, you can do this.

tmorash · December 2014

That's so discouraging and sad, but hang in there! Hopefully she will, as others have sugggested, come around once she's had some time to digest the news.

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