Intro- loss story. — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Intro- loss story.

The past few weeks have been so insane I can't remember if I actually did an intro or not. So, if this is a repeat, please just know it's been such a hard time and I'm not sure what's up and what's down, but i'm here now.

I was a part of the June '15 board, expecting in the first week of June. At 12 weeks, an ultrasound found that our baby had hydraencepalopathy (sp?), meaning that half of her brain hadn't formed and was just liquid. It had been a rollercoaster pregnancy because we weren't trying and were surprised to find out we were expecting, then i had horrible pain from an ovarian cyst, and then spotting which my doctor felt was normal. By 12 weeks we had told everyone we knew and were so excited. I had read 15 whole pregnancy books, signed up for a training to teach prenatal yoga, and talked to my belly constantly. Then all of a sudden we had to suddenly decide how to move forward- to either have a d&c, get induced at any point, or wait until we gave birth and let our daughter suffer a few moments of life. 

We decided that it was right for our child to go forward with a d&c. Your posts about getting through that time were really helpful to me. Because it was Thanksgiving, I had to wait a week for the procedure and I think so far it was the worst week of my life. On Monday I was dilated- without anesthetic- and had cramping/contractions(?) begin immediately. Last week, on Tuesday, I had the procedure done in on OR at the hospital my husband works at. While I was out he got to see our tiny tiny baby, and I think that helped him process this better than I have. 

I've been home for two weeks now, trying to figure out how to get back to our 'normal' life. This was our first pregnancy and I wake up every day still not believing she's gone. I hate having to be here, or that any of you have suffered like this, but I am grateful for the community at a time that feels so alone. I think the holidays will be especially hard and I hope we find some comfort in this community together. 

Thanks for reading and sharing in my experience.

Re: Intro- loss story.

  • I am so sorry for your loss, it's so very hard *hug* 

    Sometimes it takes a while to get back to a "normal" life. I never thought I would get there, but I did. I am not saying you will completely forget it and there won't be times something triggers you to get upset, but as for the day to day, it gets easier. 

    It really doesn't help when it's near the holiday's and we will be here for you if you need it! 
    I am not sure how to say this without getting a "solicitation" warning so I guess I just say that I am not longer active on THIS site. 

  • I'm sorry that you have to post here and I'm sorry for your loss. *hug*
    Married 10.03.2014
    TTC the day we were married
    BFP October 2014 - Due 7/2/2015 - MMC discovered 12/1/2014 (D&C)
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  • im sorry for your loss.  I feel all the same emotions as you...i was on the June boards as well, it feels like im just so dumb and want to hide in a hole for a while. 
    Gotta try to be strong for my big kids, and i know there is a light at the end of this tunnel!
  • Bless your heart, I am so sorry for your loss!
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  ::hugs:: 
    Me (29) + DH (31) = Married 9 1/2 years
    BFP 11/9/14 - EDD 7/15/15 - natural MC at 8w5d   
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