How can I help my 1st grader focus?

litzo27 · December 2014

I checked in with DS1's teacher via email to see how he is doing in school. This is what she sent back:

"he needs frequent reminders to stay on task, to focus, to pay attention, and to keep his hands to himself. Academically he is doing well in spite of these needed reminders. I would focus more on the behavioral issues over the break, as these will begin to have an impact on his academics if they continue."

How do I work with him on these? These are issues that come up in class only - at home with 1 on 1 work he has zero problems - reading, math, chores: he does things without much fuss. I've had lots of conversations with him about school. We practice how he will behave in class. But this issue has been persistent for months so clearly it's not enough (I thought he was improving but clearly he is not). Any resources that can help me? Really, any advice will be much appreciated.

He is August birthday - so one the younger in the 1st grade class.

neverblushed · December 2014

I agree with @fredalina that you need to get more specifics from the teacher.

The frequent reminders to stay on task seen pretty normal for a younger first grader. I would be more concerned about him keeping his hands to himself. To me that's a different kind of disruption, because it is not just attention -- it's recognizing a boundary of personal space. My sense is that it's pretty normal for kindy kids to have trouble with this, but as kids get closer to age 7, they begin to have more ability to "keep self to self" as they say in my son's elementary school.

That being said, you often see kids who have difficulty in both attention and impulse control. I teach GTLD 7th graders, many of whom have ADHD, and some of them, even at age 12 or 13, can't resist "messing with" each other in a physical way, need to be prompted to focus, call out a lot, etc.

You also want to find out what the teacher is doing -- other than just verbal redirection -- to help your child. Changing seating, providing clear expectations, some kind of behavior management plan might be a good idea.

junebugrbig · December 2014

I received similar feedback during DS parent-teacher conference. It boggles my mind about the expectations of kids these days in general. We are dealing with 6/7 year olds!! That being said, I am not as concerned as she is. DS is a July birthday so he is a young first grader as well. DS is very active. He tends to rush through his work...because he wants to play..not a big surprise here. There are zero issues with his academics. In fact, the teacher told me that he is fine and he picks up everything even though there are times that he looks like he is not paying attention. I work with him every night on homework and he does well. I have seen him focus on tasks at home...when it is something he wants to be doing. We remind him all the time about how we expect him to behave at school and taking his time with his school work.

Bottom line...he is young and focus will come with time and maturity. Keep reminding him of your expectations. Things should continue to improve as he gets older. As long as I know he is doing well academically, I am not worried about the other stuff.

FaeryStarGazer · December 2014

I work with children a lot (I'm a family and child portrait photographer and I volunteer weekly in my daughters' class) and you can for sure see the young 1st graders. PP is spot on about it being about knowing boundaries, impulse control, recognizing who is the "boss" at school. There are a LOT of younger boys in their class who exhibit the same sort of behavior. It feels a lot like a maturity thing- not a bad behavior thing.

Adding, these kids have to get through so.stinking.much in their school days- they quickly transition from one subject to the next with no segue way. My daughters are some of the oldest in their class (they are 7, missed the cut off for K entry by 13 days) but it's been really great. They're a little more mature and have a better understanding of the rules at school.

Spin313 · January 2015

I am also having issues with DS (1st grade). He's very bright and is in the middle of the pack, age wise, but he loses focus easily and has a hard time getting work done on time.

DH and I have talked to him about not getting distracted by friends during work time...but they are 6/7 year olds and they gab. We suggested working on all the writing work (which takes longer) first, and doing coloring/pictures second to maximize the work time. DS tends to waste time by stopping and going back to change things, so we've also suggested he get it all done and then he can fix it later.

The teacher doesn't seem as concerned about it as I am, but I frequently get frustrated helping DS with incompelete work that comes home.

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