Feeling bad

luvboston · December 2014

So as everyone already knows I am a complicated IF girl, complicated medical patient. So I go to the MFM today she thinks baby is doing great but is worried I'm not doing so well. I have a yeast rash all over my groin, abdomen and Vagina. This happened with LO and I delivered 6 weeks later. Also my immune diseases are acting up and my back seems to think its a great time to go on vacation. So she wants me to come back in 3 weeks to check. Then tells me she's calling my OB to talk to her about doing the paperwork to deliver me at 37/38 weeks. I'm totally fine with this as we don't need a bad ending after everything we have gone through.

Cue my mother making me feel awful and telling me the baby will be undercooked and that I'm being selfish that I should just suck it up. Then DH also gets on my case that how can a baby be full term at 37 weeks if most people go to 40 weeks.

Have I missed something? I don't understand what the problem is with delivering at 37 weeks versus 39? And did they forget my last baby arrived at 35 weeks. I'm just planning on ignoring them.

BabyKsMommy · December 2014

I'm sorry you are having a hard time with this pregnancy. And don't feel bad at all for delivering early. I delivered my twins at 32 weeks but it wasn't my choice, baby As water broke. It's also not your choice that your body isn't cooperating. You do the best you can and if the baby comes early or needs then don't feel guilty about it.

As far as the baby not being cooked, I'm sure your dd did and is doing just fine being a little early.

Robeano · December 2014

I would tell your family that their comments are not appreciated and causing you stress. They are not your medical professionals. I get they are concerned for the baby. Can hubby come to an appointment and ask the MFM his questions? Maybe hearing first hand will help him understand. Your health is very important! Especially with a LO at home!

JBDamonM · December 2014

I so feel your pain, this is completely something my mom would do. Just put on your ear muffs and flick them the bird

luvboston · December 2014

Robeano said:
I would tell your family that their comments are not appreciated and causing you stress. They are not your medical professionals. I get they are concerned for the baby. Can hubby come to an appointment and ask the MFM his questions? Maybe hearing first hand will help him understand. Your health is very important! Especially with a LO at home!

My husband was at the appt that's what makes it so ridiculous.

kmc84 · December 2014

Oh lb, I wish this was easier for you! I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive

The change to consider term 37 weeks is fairly new and has some disagreement among medical professionals. We all know that getting to 40 weeks is best for baby, however when risks to mom and/or baby are involved, it's a new ball game. I can't go past 38 weeks (best case scenario) since I have diabetes. DD was born at 36w4d and did great! We of course were nervous because she was a bit early and when they re-broke my water in the hospital there was muconium in it. She was a rock star-no breathing issues, breasted about 10-15 minute after being born, and no time in the nursery except for her car seat test.

37/38 weeks with all you have going on seems completely reasonable to me. Your family really needs to look at the bigger picture here.

Robeano · December 2014

luvboston said:

I would tell your family that their comments are not appreciated and causing you stress. They are not your medical professionals. I get they are concerned for the baby. Can hubby come to an appointment and ask the MFM his questions? Maybe hearing first hand will help him understand. Your health is very important! Especially with a LO at home!
My husband was at the appt that's what makes it so ridiculous.

Wow.... I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. Okay, ignore them and do what's right for you.

itsmevkb · December 2014

You know, I am really hating on the newer don't deliver before 39 week thing. It actually makes me quite angry.

My body has never carried a pregnancy past exactly 38 weeks and guess what? no-one ever did anything to stop it because OMG I wasn't full term yet.

What time frame is best for the baby and best for the mom will vary with each pregnancy. I 100% trust my doctor and my own instinct to know what will be best for my baby and my body and everyone else can just keep their mouths shut.

Julie21613 · December 2014

Robeano said:

I would tell your family that their comments are not appreciated and causing you stress. They are not your medical professionals. I get they are concerned for the baby. Can hubby come to an appointment and ask the MFM his questions? Maybe hearing first hand will help him understand. Your health is very important! Especially with a LO at home!

I 100% agree with this!!! I would be so angry with my mom & DH if they made comments like that....how could we ever be considered selfish with what we have gone through to get these babies.... ok vent over...

mdiblasi10 · December 2014

I'm so sorry @luvboston. I hope YH and family realize that your doctors are looking out for the best interest of you and the baby.

mcgeeva · December 2014

That sounds horrible! Ihope it get's better. You know what, if it's best for you as well baby just needs to come. Yes everyone wants their babies to cook but you really don't want horrible complications. 37 weeks wouldn't be the worse case scenario. Some are strong little buggers! Sometimes I think people should keep it shut unless they know what they are talking about. Had you had a normal pregnancy with zero complications I would think someone was crazy to take a baby early. But this isn't the case. Good luck!

Mrs.AmyDylan · December 2014

Happy_Yahoo_Personaler said:
Does anyone in your family hold a medical degree? No? Then they need to shut the fuck up about your medical situation. Your doctor knows best.

YES! Exactly!

Fwiw, I had a horrible rash in my groin area around 30-32 weeks until 36w from trying to shave my bikini area, add in some mid-preg discharge and a pair of very uncomfortable underwear. I feel your pain, yet yours sounds worse.

What does your hubby say when you tell him to STFU? I understand your mom, etc chiming in their uneducated advice. But if he was at your appointment and seeing your daily struggle, wtf?

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