I'm seriously losing it!!

Mwest8312 · December 2014

I have a 2 1/2 yo, and he's really been acting out lately! It's been a long week and my husband says that's it's my fault for the way our son acts! He's always pointing the finger at me and saying I need to change all the time! We have another boy otw and I feel completely hopeless and our marriage is failing! Every single little thing is my fault, and he thinks he's perfect and doesn't need to change! Seriously stressing out and not sure what to do!!!

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GASuzuki · December 2014

I am so sorry for the added stress. I would recommend sitting down and really telling DH how you feel. You should suggest counseling so that you would each have a neutral third party to talk to. BTW, it's not your fault your son is acting his age. Duh. Tell your damn DH to read a parenting book and STFU.

jrush89 · December 2014

It's just the age. Not helpful, but know your son is normal and it's not your fault. If you're stressing you probably need some time to yourself, but if your husband is acting like a Dick he's probably not the one to ask, do you have a gym nearby with a daycare? Typically about $15 to drop in and use the daycare, just use the sauna and shower, read a magazine, whatever. Give yourself some you time. It won't help your situation but it'll at least get you away from it long enough to relax a bit. Sorry I don't have any hubby advice though

Bednarova · December 2014

we had a particularly challenging time at 2.5 too, I feel like it goes in phases. as long as you react to him testing you consistently, it's not you!

As for your DH, he needs a throat-punch and I like the idea of him reading a child development/parenting book!

Drop in daycare and/or hiring a babysitter to give you a break is also a good idea.

Hugs!

mommacandi · December 2014

Yeah, a 2.5 year old who acts out? Who's ever heard of that happening? (Sarcasm to the millionth degree). How you and YH respond to him may influence his behaviors, but he's a perfectly normal kid behaving as such. It's never one parent's "fault" for anything happening with their child. Teamwork, yo! In all seriousness, I'm sorry you're on the receiving end of what sounds like constant criticism. I would certainly tell YH how you're feeling.

Edit because everything is hard right now

taboullio84 · December 2014

If he was so perfect... He would know not to blame you for a toddler acting toddler. He needs to quit being an ass and understand you are stressed too. Tell him to keep his rude comments to himself.

Katerina&Baby · December 2014

First of all, they don't call them the "terrible twos" for nothing. Bring your husband with you and talk to the pediatrician - most likely he'll tell you that your son is behaving like a normal toddler (which should go a long way to shutting down DH's criticisms). Regardless though, it sounds like you guys need to sit down and have a good long talk about how parenting is a team effort. Can I ask what specifically he is asking you to change? Does he disagree with a particular parenting tactic that you use? If he is disagreeing with something specific, you should talk about why you think that what you're doing is the way to go and then really listen to his perspective too. Importantly - this should be a two way discussion so if there is something that he does that you feel is counterproductive, talk about that too. It never hurts to change tactics and see what works best for your kid.
There is no one "right" way to raise a child but it sounds like you two aren't seeing eye to eye here and that warrants a discussion to regroup. The blame game isn't productive.

leenziepops · December 2014

Your husband spoke to you like that? AND you are PG!??! How did you not murder him after that!!!

Emren · December 2014

Really sorry to hear that this happened. You sound like a great mommy. It is hard when kiddos act out. But its important to keep in mind that our children are their own person. Do you think talking with a counselor about your hubby's mindset would help?

((Hugs and Love))

Emren0316

blu-eyedwife · December 2014

I think the two of you really need to get in for some counseling. This is obviously not just about parenting. Things are not going to be easier with two, they will only be harder. Which is going to increase the stress level for both you and your husband. If he's acting this way now, it is going to be worse when you have another. And anything you say to him is only going to set him off and not be constructive in the long run. You both need to learn how to communicate effectively with each other. Things are not hopeless, your marriage is not failing, but you do need help.

starkbaby22 · December 2014

My 3 year old daughter is giving my sanity a run for its money. I constantly tell H that I'm not coming back after grocery shopping or a girls day. Also have threatened to check myself into the hospital for rest/mental health day. Lol

Our marriage is also rocky and counseling for us had been nothing but a nuisance. It's another place to be each week, we never got anything out of it. Surprise pregnancies (my case) kind of make you HAVE to work on stuff. But it's not really "better".

I personally benefit more from individual counseling.

ceejay1315 · December 2014

Ugh, I'm sorry. We had (and still occasionally have) really bad fights. We both used to do really unfair things to each other, but we got counseling and it has made things ten bajillion times better. We look at it as going to the dentist now, maintenance every few months, rather than waiting until we have a blow up.

Mwest8312 · December 2014

I really love all of you guys! Your comments made me LOL and I seriously needed that! Nice to know I'm not actually crazy! He refuses to go to counselling but I probably should go back! Really made me feel grounded! But something defiantly needs to change because he is an ass and I think especially while pregnant you should be treated like royalty :-)

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