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A little overwhelmed

savvychassavvychas member
in Stay at Home Moms
Ok ladies, I am a stay at home
Mom, and I absolutely love it. is it wrong of me To feel as I am never ever alone? When my husband gets off work for the week he has all these plans on what needs to be done and where he has to go to get these things done. And I'm stuck taking care of the little one all weekend so she is not in the way. Is it wrong that I would like for just once to go to star bucks with out him or the baby?
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Re: A little overwhelmed

  • savvychassavvychas member
    Every time we discuss it he wants to know when he gets free time. So I have dropped the convo for now.
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  • savvychassavvychas member
    I was lucky to have my sister to take the baby yesterday after we left my glucose test, I was so happy that I had a sitter but when I got home I ended up cleaning. I wouldn't know what a day off would be like
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  • savvychassavvychas member
    Ok what is dh? And I know I need to and I'm going to have to. I don't want much just time to catch up on
    Laundry or Christmas shop without he or she around. With a 16mnth old it's getting more difficult to finish the little tasks
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  • Spin313Spin313 member
    DH = dear/darling husband
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  • UnofficiallyLOUnofficiallyLO member
    edited December 2014
    Talk to you DH and tell him what you need, don't ask. I fell in the habit of saying I needed a break or time to run errands but not following thru. Now SO makes a point to ask what I would like to accomplish that day/wknd and we plan what we will do together, what he will work on while I wrangle DS and what I will accomplish will he has him. For example, night before last he took the Christmas decorations down from the attic and then took DS with him to a friends house for 2 hours while I unpacked, etc. that's a win, win in my book. Last Saturday I had a few hours to myself and ran a weeks worth of errands and hung out at a friends house for the last hour. "Free time" works wonders for your sanity, make room for it, good luck!
    ETA and I'm sure he gets much more free time than he realizes. A few hours parenting alone, as you have been doing, may help him realize this ;)
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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member

    DH can also be used as other words beginning with "D" depending on the mood trying to be conveyed...

    What you're describing is exactly why we started DD in daycare very similar to that age when she was little.  3x/wk (because that is what DCP recommended to get her into a routine), as well as DS once he turned a year old.  It's one way to assure yourselves of equal footing time off.  Because really - would you rather have time off while he's home and you can spend time together or while he's at work, kiddo at DCP, and you have that time to get work done while not taking away from other family matters. 

    As others have said - you need to be firm and say that for everyone's sake you need dedicated time that you have alone (whether that be to go to the grocery store, get your hair done, go Christmas shopping, etc.)...  Taking care of the caregiver is not a negotiable deal, you will at some point burn out working 24/7/365, parenting is a 2-person job. 

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  • mrscutforthmrscutforth member
    No it's not wrong for you to take an hour to yourself. I know when I start to get flustered with my kids that I have to tell DH when he has days off I need to take some me time. It shows to myself that I recognize that I need the alone time. I do any of the following: take an extra long shower, do my nails, go to the grocery store, take a warm Epsom salt bath with the lights dimmed, or take a nap.

    Speak up and tell him you need some you time even if it for 20min without baby or him.

    ZBC 11/2012 & SNC 7/2014


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  • Knottie48097161Knottie48097161 member
    savvychas said:

    Every time we discuss it he wants to know when he gets free time. So I have dropped the convo for now.

    Your husband sounds like an ass. You need to sit down and have a cone to Jesus talk. Sorry you married a jerk.
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  • savvychassavvychas member
    You all make good points thanks maybe I just needed a little more insight before we sat down to speak again. Glad to know in not alone.
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  • mandymackmandymack member
    Welcome to the board!!

    We use many acronyms here so check The Bump's Glossary to find out what they all mean: https://pregnant.thebump.com/extras/the-bump-community-extras/articles/community-glossary.aspx

    It can be overwhelming for sure and I agree with the previous posters: raising kids is exhausting and we all deserve mental and physical breaks so, find some time to sit down and discuss what YOU need as far as a break is concerned. Good luck!

    eclaire 9.10.06  diggy 6.2.11

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  • KeeptruckinKeeptruckin member
    The best thing is to have a standing night that is yours. I used to take very Thursday night but now I change it up. Even going to a movie alone is heaven! Take the time, you will be a better mom and wife if you get your time to recharge!
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Take a break & take it for real.


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  • hlm184hlm184 member
    How old is your LO?

    My DH needed a push to become more comfortable on his own with DS.  We decided that he would be in charge of bedtime any night he was home, that gave him some one-on-one time with DS and made my DH much more confident in his abilities as a parent, so it was easier for both of us when I need some time to myself.
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