Level with me..Do I need a New RE?

lilmac2929 · December 2014

I am trying to figure out if i am too picky/expect too much. I know it is a personal questions, but I am curious about your thoughts/experiences.

I saw her for testing before I conceived DS with no intervention. After TTC 6 months, I went back for more testing/battle plan. I haven't actually spoken with her since January. We did IUI and never really heard explanation of the process, the meds, instructions etc. After IUIs failed, I go in and see techs and then get a message on a one-way portal of what to start when. I had to ask staff for info, etc. After conflicting advice (wait this month out because of cyst and then a message to come in for IUI the next day), I voiced my concerns and the nurse gave me her email which has helped a touch.

But i feel like I want more hands on. More exploration of possible causes. More in-depth questioning of what is going on. Am I too high maintenance? I am in the process of interviewing docs but after my first one, I got the same impression so I am wondering if I am expecting too much. Just curious what your experiences are! TIA!

sailorgal · December 2014

If you don't feel comfortable, that is answer enough to move on.

I rarely speak to our actual doctor. I can't recall the last time I saw him. I'm fine talking to nurses and techs because I feel like they know more anyhow

And sometimes I see other doctors in the practice.

But that conflicting info would bug me for sure. And January is a really long time. My clinic does 3-4 treatment cycle plans which are valid for 6 months but if you go on break or whatever, you go back in for a consult before continuing.

CheesyPeas · December 2014

I agree with @sailorgal. Not feeling comfortable is a sign. You need to feel comfortable. You can't expect them to read your mind since they probably have a wide variety of patients, some of whom want extra attention and some who feel confident where they're at with minimal information. You can't blame them for not providing you answers to the questions or concerns you don't express but if you ask and don't receive a satisfactory response, like, say, when they provided you with conflicting answers, it's quite reasonable to feel disappointed and uneasy continuing on with them. Expecting consistent and correct answers to your questions is not high maintenance.

Frenchteachermama · December 2014

This is exactly how I felt at my first clinic...Are you on the east coast? It isn't CNY is it? I decided to switch and am so much more comfortable. I think it's pretty standard that nurses handle IUIs but my doctor is always there if I need him.

ellebelle2384 · December 2014

I agree with PPs. If you're not comfortable and don't get answers when you ask then it's worth considering another practice. We've gone for a second opinion and ended up sticking with our first RE, so even if you go to other docs and decide to stick with your current one at least you explored all the options in your area.

jen4ny · December 2014

I agree with the other ladies too. I would at least go for a second opinion to meet someone else. I rarely speak with my RE because the nurses handle everything. But the nurses are fabulous and if I have a question they can't answer they talk with the doc and get back to me. You should feel comfortable going to them with any questions you have and expecting them to be able to give you a satisfactory answer.

MoFree · December 2014

Bottom line is if you are not confident with your RE then look for another one.

lilmac2929 · December 2014

Thanks all!! I will definitely interview a couple of other ones - to get a feel for how they work and operate. But this does tell me that not talking to doc each cycle isn't super uncommon and as long as the nurses are responsive and smart, that might be okay. I think I just need to speak up more and ask questions. I did ask to meet with the doc to discuss concerns.

Thanks for weighing in!! Sometimes this process has me doubting myself and intuitions.

lilmac2929 · December 2014

@frenchteachermama I forgot to answer your question! No, I am in Chicago, but I am sorry you had a bad experience! Sadly, I am getting from talking around locally that lots of this places can be like that

sailorgal · December 2014

I'm glad you are meeting with them to discuss your concerns. I always feel like businesses can't fix something if they don't know something is wrong.

Davie813 · December 2014

Agree with everyone else--not having a lot of face time with your doctor isn't necessarily a problem, but not having questions answered is. After your failed cycles, did your RE make adjustments to your protocol? And if so, were they explained to you? I do actually have a consult with my RE before each cycle, but I could do without that. I couldn't do without knowing that she was using the results of each cycle to improve my protocol, and without understanding everything that was going on and why.

lilmac2929 · December 2014

@Davie813‌ that's a great point. No adjustments were made and nothing was explained. Thank you for helping me put my finger on just what was bothering me. It is the lack of explanations/adjusting.

CeCe8579 · December 2014

That's how my first RE was and I didn't feel comfortable with that do we moved on.

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