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Baby shower expenses

KitKat0369KitKat0369 member
in Baby Showers
My sister and coworker/friend are throwing me a baby shower but I'm not sure what is acceptable to ask them to pay for or do. I personally put together and paid for two of my other sisters baby showers and it got pretty expensive and she never expressed any gratitude. None of her "friends" helped either even after offering. I see on other bump discussions that it is considered tacky to throw your own baby shower, but I'm not really comfortable with putting that burden on someone else either. Baby showers can get expensive and stressful. So my question is what is acceptable to ask my sister and coworker/friend to take care of and/or pay for? Some other friends are bringing food items too so that will help. Also I don't think my sister is reliable for much time wise and financially, but I don't want her to feel left out. Any suggestions on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Baby shower expenses

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  • KitKat0369KitKat0369 member
    I have let them know that I would like it to be as simple as possible. I just get the feeling that she wants me to pay for everything. She asked me to go shopping for decorations and while we we're there said "you can probably get a better price online and just have them sent to my house." Also she offered her rec room at her housing development but then notified me it would be a $75 charge.
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  • thehills1983thehills1983 member
    KitKat0369 said:
    I have let them know that I would like it to be as simple as possible. I just get the feeling that she wants me to pay for everything. She asked me to go shopping for decorations and while we we're there said "you can probably get a better price online and just have them sent to my house." Also she offered her rec room at her housing development but then notified me it would be a $75 charge.

    Your friend/co-worker has no idea how hosting works. If she offered, she is responsible for all the associated costs. It sounds to me like she is roping you into paying for the venue, decorations and who knows what else. This completely rubs me the wrong way and I would decline politely.
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  • neverblushedneverblushed member
    Ditto previous replies.  Just politely decline this mess.  The people who have offered to "host" it for you aren't reliable and don't understand how this is supposed to work.

    Spare yourself the hassle and spare your guests the awkwardness of this train wreck.  People who want to buy you a baby gift and welcome you to motherhood will find a way to do so even if you don't have a shower.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
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  • jennypolkadotsjennypolkadots member
    You shouldn't be involved at all. Give them each other's numbers and tell them you can't wait to see what they come up with. Believe it or not, they will set their own budget and work it out without you in the middle of it. They are adults and offered to do this for you, let them. 

    I understand where you are coming from. I am a bit of a control freak and feel antsy knowing that people are planning my shower and spending time/money on me. I love doing these things for other people, but being the center of attention isn't my thing and I don't want anyone to go out of their way. But they have taken care of everything and I know practically nothing except when and where to show up. That's how it should be! 
    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • jennypolkadotsjennypolkadots member
    Oh geez - just read the replies. You need to decline. You shouldn't be paying for and planning your own shower. How in the world is she "hosting" then? Weird. 
    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • SunAndRainSunAndRain member
    Wow! I'm impressed that you were able to turn that around! Being a hostess can be a steep learning curve. You must be a great person and friend to help her understand her role without her feeling so embarrassed that she backed away entirely! I don't think my conversation would have gone that well!
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  • KitKat0369KitKat0369 member
    Lol well it turns out she really wanted to do this for me and after me trying to decline due to the expenses she is taking care of everything. I thought about how to go about this a long time without upsetting her. We did decide to do it at a park that won't cost us anything : )
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