Transition to Daycare Center

chandlam · December 2014

I head back to work on Jan 8 and am already feeling the blues/worry/dread setting in. DS will be starting at a top notch center just down the street for roughly 8 hours per day. I'm confident in our choice of center but I just can't shake the sadness at the thought of leaving him. I'm EBFing and will have to pump 3-4 times at work which also really worries me.

Ugh.

Any advice from others transitioning to a daycare center type situation? Tips for getting out the door on time, how to survive the guilt etc?

I am SO insanely jealous of those of you who have family caregivers. What a blessing!

lrobi13 · December 2014

Ok my lo has been at daycare for a week now and it has been great. I go everyday at lunch time and watch his teachers interact with all of the babies. I see how hard they work at taking care of them and it is so fun to watch the older ones (6 months to 11 months) play.

If you can find time to visit with them it might help ease your fears. I also keep reminding myself that they have been doing this a lot longer than I have and have tons more experience taking care of children.

It is still hard but being rewarded with a sweet smile once you lo realizes your are there is priceless!

lrobi13 · December 2014

As for getting out the door on time it is all about the prep work. I do all I can the night before. Bottles ready, clothes picked for myself and lo, diaper bag packed, and anything else that I need to have to survive the day. I also suggest starting to get ready 15 minutes before you think you need to. It seems to always take longer to do thing than I had estimated!

mariek312 · December 2014

@chandlam‌ I was getting ready to post something similar, I feel exactly as you do. @lrobi13‌ your response made me take a deep breath...thank you.

sabby2 · December 2014

Did anyone else's pediatrician recommend doing a bottle every day to prep for daycare?

DD does fine with a bottle now but we don't give one every day. She said it will help to ensure that she will still take a bottle and eat during the stressful transition to daycare.

I guess it makes sense but I prefer nursing her because I hate pumping.

chandlam · December 2014

@sabby2 we haven't discussed it with the Ped just yet but the director of our daycare center suggested I nurse with a receiving blanket on my lap for the week before the transition. The same blankey then goes on the lap of the person giving the bottle so DS always smells me. Hopefully that will help with the stress. Ugh- another thing to worry about.

We also give a bottle for the last feeding of the day so my husband can have some one on one baby time. I pump and then go right to sleep.

chandlam · December 2014

@Crawford23‌ @lrobi13‌ - thank you for the helpful and encouraging words. I'm planning to prep the night before but am still curious as to how the mornings will play out. Care to share a wake up to drop off timeline?

LightBright515 · December 2014

I will have to try the blanket tip. DD is heading to daycare in January, and I will miss her dearly.

However, I'm looking forward to getting a piece of my normal life back.

AmandaJean12 · December 2014

I ran an infant room in a day care center before going back to school, and I would absolutely second the "bottle every day" before they start. I had a number of parents not give many (or any) bottles, and their LO wouldn't eat for us for the first few days or weeks. It is always hard to leave your baby, but it's even harder if you get a call that your LO won't eat, and you can hear them screaming in the background. I swear, the inconvenience of pumping is worth it.

I recommend leaving yourself A LOT of extra time the first morning. It's hard to leave. Most moms cry. I've seen a couple sob for extended periods of time in the parking lot before they can drive away. Just give yourself time to linger if you need to, fix your makeup before work, etc. And if you need to call and check in, do it. Any good day care provider will totally understand.

chandlam · December 2014

@AmandaJean12 total pearls of wisdom straight from the source! Do you think one bottle per day is sufficient prep? We've been doing the nightly bottle since week 3. I'm sure I'll have more questions for you.

@crawford411 girl. That is one earrrrly morning. You're my hero. Thanks for the detail. I'm already thinking how our mornings will shape up.

AmandaJean12 · December 2014

chandlam said:
@AmandaJean12 total pearls of wisdom straight from the source! Do you think one bottle per day is sufficient prep? We've been doing the nightly bottle since week 3. I'm sure I'll have more questions for you.

One a day is probably fine but try to mix up when you give it, and if someone other than you or DH can try, that can help too! The more familiar your LO is with the bottle, the more likely they are to take it no matter the circumstances

JessAnnJ · December 2014

My older daughter has been in daycare since around four months. For me the anticipation was much worse. It is difficult at first, but it gets easier. I was terrified DD1 would cry all day because she always needed to be held but surprisingly she became much more easy going when she started. It was almost like she was bored at home with me and enjoyed watching everything that was going on. It seems so far out but there will come a time when it is hard to get LO to leave because he is having do much fun. I also think they benefit from the socialization and learn a lot at school. Good luck with the transition. You can do this!

lrobi13 · December 2014

Since I work in an office not a healthcare setting our hours are a little less early! Since lo is sleeping longer our morning is pretty quick and easy since I do everything the night before. Also, he is FF so I have less to do in terms of gear prep.

6:40 I wake up. Alarm is set for 6:45 but so far I beat the alarm naturally.

I spend 10 mins checking out TB/FB before my feet hit the floor. Since baby was still sleeping I got my self ready. He started to cry around 7:10 just as I was putting on my mascara (which besides lipstick is the final step)

Got him and feed him a bottle. It takes him around 20 mins. to eat. 7:30 was diaper change, clothes change, and snot sucking time.

The I place him in his bouncer. Went to put my clothes on and we were in the car for 7:50.

Thankfully now that I'm leaving earlier it only take me ten minutes to travel to our exit on the interstate. We pull in the daycare parking lot around 8:05-8:10.

Once we get inside the daycare I have to fill out his schedule (love this, they give it to me at the end of the day with all his feedings and diaper change info). Put his bottles in the fridge and take him out of his car seat.

Get in my car at 8:20 and head to work for 8:30 (it is across the street so I am right on time)

So from the time I wake up to the time I'm sitting at my desk is less than 2 hours.

AmandaJean12 · December 2014

Cantisa said:

@AmandaJean12‌ what happened if lo refused bottle for days ? Mom would have to come?

It depended on the situation. I had one little one who was a pretty big baby, and even though he went a while not taking the bottle for us, his pediatrician said that given he was nursing well in the morning and after, mom shouldn't worry. And he was a pretty chill baby, even hungry.

We had another one who was pretty tiny and would SCREAM all afternoon once she got hungry. Mom only tried the bottle the weekend before starting daycare because she wanted to nurse as much as possible. She was convinced because she did it once, we were just "holding the bottle wrong." Eventually we made the decision to tell her that at a certain point in the day, if her LO hadn't eaten and was inconsolable, someone had to come get her or she had to come feed her. The threat of missing work was enough to get her to start trying bottles at home and eventually her LO caught on.

LightBright515 · December 2014

My biggest fear is that they will over feed my baby.

Is paced feeding a foreign concept in infant care? @AmandaJean12‌

AmandaJean12 · December 2014

LightBright515 said:

My biggest fear is that they will over feed my baby. Is paced feeding a foreign concept in infant care? @AmandaJean12‌

That totally depends on the individual caregiver. When I first took the position out of college, I had a degree in child development but no practical experience with things like that. My co-teacher on the other hand was a mom who had been in child care for 30 years and totally would have known.

I would take the time to talk to the teachers in your LOs room, and frame it like "LO has an issue with eating too fast, and then too much when my inlaws (or blame someone fake) feeds them because they don't understand paced feedings. So, if you could just make sure that whoever gives the bottle tries to hold it so the nipple is only half full, and give lots of breaks..." That way you're not putting them on the spot if they don't, and they'll get the information they need.

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