- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
August 2014 Moms
kimberlybethh
member
Would you do this or am I being lame?
kimberlybethh
member
I'm in a wedding of a good friend this spring. I was informed that the bachelorette party will be in a different city than where the bride lives which would be about a 16.5 hour drive round trip for me. They are driving up on a Friday and leaving on a Sunday so I would be gone the entire weekend. I’m sure it would be a great time but 1. I don’t really want to leave the kids with DH for that long. I know he would do it but he doesn’t multi-task well so I don’t feel comfortable with DS being so young still and 2. I don’t really want to spend that much time in the car for a weekend trip.(I can’t afford a plane ticket). I emailed the MOH back explaining that while I would love to go, it just isn’t going to be feasible. That did not go over very well so now I’m rethinking if I should go or not.
I thought about splitting the kids up so he only would be watching DD but my parents are already watching the kids three weeks before when DH and I are going to Florida so I hate to ask them and my only other option is out of town the weekend of the bachelorette party. If you have two(+) kids (2 ½ and under), would you leave them with your significant other for the weekend? I would feel totally comfortable leaving them both if DS was just a little bit older but the thought of doing it in March makes me panic a little. It’s also possible that my expectations of DH are too low. What would you all do?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would you do this or am I being lame?
But I'm sure your H could handle his kids just fine for a weekend.
First BFP: 12/16/13
EDD: 08/23/14
Baby BOY born: 08/29/14
I personally wouldn't worry so much about what the MOH thinks as I would the bride. Could you plan a Bachelorette night in town and maybe include some friends other than the wedding party? Not instead of the trip, but additionally?
Just my 2 cents :-P
I wouldn't go, and if the MOH can't respect your reasoning then that's her problem. If you aren't comfortable leaving your children, no one has the right to judge you for that!
Maybe talk to the bride and explain also, that way she isn't getting a biased version of your story from the pissed off MOH...
If I didn't live close and knew that a drive would be expected when I made this commitment, then I would try to go.. If you can.. I'd leave LO with hubby if I was super pumped about a trip.
If you live close to the bride and everyone just thought it would be "super cool" to do something inconvenient as a bachelorette party, I wouldn't go and I wouldn't lose any sleep over it either...
however I'm sure your husband could handle the kids.
Honestly, your only duty as a bridesmaid is to show up on time the day of the wedding, preferably sober. The bachelorette party isn't an obligation, and I think it's crazy that anyone would expect you to transmit that far with two small children.
That said, your DH should be able to handle his kids, you do it, so can he. And I, personally, would go on the trip in a heartbeat, but only because I want to get away. But if someone TOLD me I had to go, or tried to pressure me, I'd flat out refuse because I don't roll that way.
Which is also probably why no one has ever asked me to be in their wedding.
2. Hell no to a 16 hour drive for 1 weekend! No. Just no.
3. Screw the MOH for guilting you.
Baby Boy due October 2017
Thanks for all the input! The bride lives about 2 hours from me so I did expect there to be some driving involved but assumed that the bachelorette party would be in the city she lives in. I talked to the bride to make sure she was getting the real story and she was very understanding. @beccominggold, I love the idea of hosting something in addition to the other party. I asked the bride if I could do something in town for her and invite some of our other friends who aren't in the wedding party. She thought it was a great idea too
After reading some of your posts, I realized that I need to leave the kids with DH more. I told him he's in charge of them Friday night so I can go to a wine bar with a friend. I can't wait!!
MOH doesn't get it. She won't until she has kids (assuming she doesn't).
I didn't go to my SIL's bachelorette. I was in her wedding party. My sister didn't either. SIL was pissed but 1. She picked an expensive resort 2. Expected to be paid for and 3. I was about to make a big move to another city so most of my belongings were packed, my money was tied up, etc. It was going to be something like $400 per person for 2 days, 2 nights, not including meals or spa treatments or my share of the bride's stay. I even offered to put in my share of the bride's stay but was told it wasn't necessary.
I felt so inadequate for a long time for not being able to swing it but you know what? I bet she doesn't even think about it or care anymore. It sounds like your bride friend is understanding. MOH is a jerk for making you feel bad about it.