First RE Appointment

renegadewhit · December 2014

I met with my new RE for the first time today. I'm kind of all over the place, but here's pretty much how it went:

The good: We're moving forward with all of the infertility testing. Considering I'm 27 and we've been trying for about 6 months, I was surprised he wanted to start all of the testing. I figured we'd start with just treating the PCOS, but he said that we can do all the treatment in the world for the PCOS, but if I have other problems, it's not going to be successful. So we're going to do CD3 blood work including some extra PCOS related blood work, HSG/SIS, and SA for DH. It also sounded like there was one other procedure, but he was writing it all down, so I didn't think to. Now that I'm home, I can hardly read his handwriting.

The bad: I need to lose weight. Since going off metformin then later BC, I've had a really hard time losing weight, and I gained after my miscarriage. I've been working out and working on my diet, but I need to step it up a notch. That's not a surprise, but it kind of makes me feel like this is my fault. If I had done a better job of getting healthier earlier, I might not be dealing with this right now. Healthy Living Check-In, I'm on my way! Also, all this testing has to wait until AF arrives, and I'm currently on CD53. No medicine, no moving forward until then. I took progesterone last week, so I have another week to see if it works. If not, I'll get a second, all-at-once dose. If that doesn't work, I'll have to get an ultrasound to see what's going on in there. At this point I'm kind of hoping AF holds off a few more days so some of this can be done after the first of the year. At least then it will go towards next year's deductible.

The Ugly: Mostly my ugly cry after the appointment. I was expecting to have a lot of information, but it was overwhelming. Talking about my miscarriage, facing the possibility of it happening again, and just talking through all the potential problems I could have, combined with the RE suggesting that I pursue this aggressively after explaining to me that my fertility is already declining and isn't what it was before I was 25...all just too much. I'm still a bit weepy this afternoon, but luckily I'm at home where I can just have a little pity party and cuddle with my fur babies.

Thanks for reading, have a treat:

And a special thank you to the ladies who shared their PCOS experience and gave me such awesome advice last week. @megrae12 @rubysi big shout out!

TheAerialist · December 2014

YAY for getting moving on this, but a BIG HUGE BOOO to your RE for adding to an already stressful situation (miscarriage and PCOS) by tossing in that your "fertility is already declining".

Here is some educational reading for you,

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/

I'm sorry that you had to go through that, I was super emotional after my RE appointment too.

MrsG80inTN · December 2014

I'm so glad that you had your appointment. It sounds like the RE is doing some good things for you that will hopefully provide you answers.

I think it is great that you are going to get healthy and take care of yourself and I'm ALL for that, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not blame yourself for your loss. We have enough stress on our own after losses. My RE told me that if it was that easy to cause a MC there would be a lot less unwanted pregnancies, and while I absolutely understand that health can play a role in pregnancies and TTC, I just don't want you to take extra stress on yourself. does that make sense? I sure hope that it does. I've played this game a lot with myself in the last 5 years (aka - my health was what caused me not to get pregnant and then either exercising too much or not eating well enough caused my MCs)... there are too many unknowns and blaming yourself won't due anything but add stress.

Thinking of you today.

MSU_Girl1202 · December 2014

I'm so glad that you got to go to your appointment and that you have the start of a plan figured out. It sounds like a lot of info to take in all at once, but just remember we're here for you and one day at a time!

Km380 · December 2014

That is a lot to digest. It's a lot to handle but knowing up front what you are or aren't dealing with can only help your RE make a plan. I know @MrsG80inTN‌ already said it but please do not blame yourself for your loss. It is not your fault (((hugs)))
Let us know how the testing goes.

EIsieMae · December 2014

((Hugs)). I'm glad you got all of the information that you needed, but I can see where that would be incredibly overwhelming:/ hoping you have a better day tomorrow.

rslh10 · December 2014

Oh Lady, I'm sorry you're feeling weepy! That's to be expected. The RE makes me weepy too! I think you're just going in with so many emotions as it is, and when you leave it's sort of a release? It was for me anyway. I hope that AF holds off for you and that you can do the procedures in the new year, and put them toward your deductible. ((HUGS)) I'm glad you have a plan figured out!

ellebelle2384 · December 2014

That's so much all at once. (hugs) I think PP have given you lots of good advice about not blaming yourself but I know it's hard not to so lots of hugs.

[Deleted User] · December 2014

Oh! (((hugs))) I'm sorry the information was so overwhelming! I felt the same way at my first appointment. I'm glad you have a plan!

renegadewhit · December 2014

Thanks everyone. DH was not at the appointment with me, but he talked me down when we discussed it tonight. He's all about the one step at a time approach. I'm feeling a little better about it now.

@PetraStonegirl‌ the re wasn't willing to move forward with anything until we have CD3 blood work results. He wouldn't give me the metformin, and he wouldn't even talk about changes I can make now to help with the weight loss (ie low glycemic index or any other diet changes). I guess he wants to get a clear overall picture of what's going on, which makes sense but isn't what I expected.

alm288 · December 2014

Sounds like a lot of information to digest. I agree - don't blame yourself or go through the what ifs. Nothing good comes out of it - it just makes us feel worse. Glad to hear you are feeling better after talking to YH. Take care of yourself. (((Hugs)))

LittleMrsW · December 2014

((Hugs)) I'm sorry it was so emotional, but I'm glad that you have a plan to move forward.

ctk181 · December 2014

That is definitely a lot to take in, but I hope that at least having a plan can bring you some comfort. I hope AF arrives soon so you can move forward. ((Hugs))

rmpar29 · December 2014

((((HUGS)))), I know how scary and overwhelming those first RE visits are. I'm glad that you have a plan and are getting some testing done. Yes, losing weight and being healthy are important, but please try not to blame yourself for this. You are NOT to blame!!! I'm looking forward to seeing you in the Healthy Living check-in!

welly01 · December 2014

How overwhelming! I'm glad the appointment went well. ((((hugs))) for having an ugly cry though.

BookishMomma · December 2014

Mmmmm... thanks for the latte. I know it can be so overwhelming to have these appointments. ((Hugs))

vmatt850 · December 2014

Not much to say here, just offering many (((hugs)))!

Nikolie93 · December 2014

So much info but I am glad you were able to go! Like others have said, please don't blame yourself. I know how very hard it is not to though *hug*

See you in the healthy living check in! :x

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