Family Vent

Ana0927 · December 2014

So I posted a picture on FB last night of all four of us with Santa. About 5 minutes later my cousin texts me asking me if I am pregnant. I haven't told my side of the family yet but am planning to over xmas. I fessed up and told her I was and she replied " Wow I knew it right away you look you more pregnant than you did with #1 and #2. I said thanks I'm only 14 weeks. She replied "Man you are huge" Um thanks bitch! I posted that picture because I really didn't think I looked pregnant at all and my husband agreed.

My family has always been very critical about everything from the way we look, to what we eat , to how we raise our kids and it drives me insane. Two months after I had #2 I went to visit my family and the first thing my aunt told me when I walked through the door was " You got really fat" It is just the way they are.

I really wish I could get drunk because that is the only way I will be able to handle them this xmas.

Vent over thanks for listening!

Schnurette · December 2014

Your whole family sounds like my mother! I've posted about her...a lot...on here lol. Without even getting into the whole rest of her crazy and limiting it only to pregnancy related:

1. When we told her I was pregnant with DD she responded with "Oh. We just assumed we weren't getting any grandchildren." Uh, well, nevermind then? (Edited to add: DH and I had been married less than a year when we got pregnant...and I was only 27 so it's not like I was old by todays standards.)

2. When I was pregnant with DD she continually made comments about my weight.

3. Again, pregnant with DD, at Easter I went to my mother's family dinner and everyone else was really being very nice etc. Mother (who I point out is severely overweight herself and only recently lost some weight as a result of lapband surgery) says "You shouldn't have put on so much weight you'll never lose it." My aunt side eyed her pretty hard and told me she gained 40lbs with my cousin and it all came off immediately. Thank you aunt. Mother follows up with "Look at *cousin* and how she did so well with her pregnancy weight." Yeah, she was 17 when she got pregnant soooo...

4. After having DD via emergency c-section - "I can't believe you let them do a c-section. It will completely ruin your stomach and you'll have a pooch for the rest of your life." Well, DD and I should have just died then, much better than having a pooch belly.

5. Ever since we had DD my mother has tried to basically take her over. She refers to DD as "her baby" and is constantly making stupid comments about DDs development. (i.e. at a few weeks old DD isn't interested in iPad "there must be something wrong with her developmentally because she just doesn't seem to get this".)

I'm so not excited to tell her we're pregnant again. DH is trying to figure out if there is some way to just never tell her.

Elley1486 · December 2014

You're family sounds lovely.

dkleid · December 2014

I feel for both of you ladies!!

awheeler4311 · December 2014

Ooooof. Family drama. I've got my share. Just wanted to sympathize with you that I wish I could drink to get through the holidays. Pregnancy hormones and no wine, HELLO family feuds.

Belle0720 · December 2014

Eeek I'm so sorry ladies, anyone who calls someone 'huge' or 'fat' (pregnant or not) is an insensitive jackass! If anyone makes a comment like that to me, they will feel my wrath. Even when my ILs 'told' me I was showing at 9 weeks, I told them no the baby is far too small and low to show yet and I'm not gaining weight--guess I must just be fat! They definitely got the point and apologized.

mishmardhiono · December 2014

My mother has gone from supportive to overbearing and critical. I was told I won't be getting a capsule, I wot be getting a high chair etc.. We are paying for the baby not her. We are not allowed to find out the sex. Asked me about a drs appt I went to and what happened. Told her what they did, she then told me I was lying because her secretary ha a baby and that's not what happened at her appt. she then started on the weight gain (0.5 kgand I'm 15wk) saying it's a lot considering I am sick and need to be careful.. I was tolerant up until Wednesday and I let loose ad told her what I thought and where she can stick her thoughts and ideas.. It was possibly te happiest day of my life

babybean9 · December 2014

The "um thanks bitch" made me laugh. I feel for you though. I'm in a similar boat. This pregnancy has made me care a lot less for people I already didn't like.

People are rude and annoying, I roll my eyes a lot these days. Hold strong, ladies!

MrsDee1982 · December 2014

If someone told me "You got fat" when I walked in a room my immediate response would be "wow, you got rude"

Ana0927 · December 2014

Thanks ladies! @Schnurette when i told one of my cousins I was planning a c-section she cried, cried because she couldn't believe I was allowing my doctor to do that. She said I should try to deliver my breech baby the "normal way" so I can experience "real" childbirth

Schnurette · December 2014

@mishmardhiono that is suuuuper weird - wtf?

Ana0927 said:

Thanks ladies! @Schnurette when i told one of my cousins I was planning a c-section she cried, cried because she couldn't believe I was allowing my doctor to do that. She said I should try to deliver my breech baby the "normal way" so I can experience "real" childbirth

I actually found the nurses in the hospital pretty much walked on egg shells any time they had to mention even the possibility of me having a c-section. I was like, calm down ladies I just want DD and I to make it out of here alive so whatever we gotta do lets do it. I do know a lot of people who are weirdly attached to "real" childbirth though. Like, you f'ed up if you didn't deliver vaginally.

FWIW - I did experience it with the exception of the baby actually shooting out of my vagina. I labored and pushed and sweated and cried and screamed for four hours (and had a doctors entire forearm up my vag several times) before the doc finally said, lookit, the kid is sideways and keeps flipping around in there, you can keep trying or you can call it a c-section. (I said keep trying but changed my mind before she got out the door because I was so freaking tired.)

Katerina&Baby · December 2014

I'm completely horrified by these comments - big hugs and high fives for not punting those rude people in the groin.

Judging by how hugely bloated I am these days, I feel like I'm sure to get an awful comment soon from one of the more judgy members of my family.
I've mentally started to prep how I'll handle it and in my mind, it goes like this:

However, the more likely result is this:

::hangs head in shame::

Schnurette · December 2014

Katerina&Baby Those GIFs are perfect.

I wish I was bad ass enough to just straight tell people if they don't shut it I'm punching them.

Katerina&Baby · December 2014

genepoolperfect said:
@Schnurette I totally get what you mean by grandparents trying to take over. My MIL has included our son in her Christmas cards the past 2 years.

Guess who doesn't make the cut into the cards, DH and I. WE'RE THE MOTHA-LOVIN PARENTS!

But she's got her other two kids, and the cat on the card too, so, you know.

This might actually be the weirdest MIL move I've heard of to date. I feel like you should win something.

mishmardhiono · December 2014

Schnurette said:
Katerina&Baby Those GIFs are perfect.

I wish I was bad ass enough to just straight tell people if they don't shut it I'm punching them.

This may be terrible but I'm now saying what I think to people about their opinions.. In the end the ball is in our court. Any angst won't last long because of the baby and peoples need to be involved. Telling my mum where to go was the best relief I've had. Why should I be bottling up angst, hurt and frustration over people's rudeness and stupidity? Better them hurt and upset then me and my baby being sad, stressed and tense.

Katerina&Baby · December 2014

mishmardhiono said:

Schnurette said:
Katerina&Baby Those GIFs are perfect.

I wish I was bad ass enough to just straight tell people if they don't shut it I'm punching them.
This may be terrible but I'm now saying what I think to people about their opinions.. In the end the ball is in our court. Any angst won't last long because of the baby and peoples need to be involved. Telling my mum where to go was the best relief I've had. Why should I be bottling up angst, hurt and frustration over people's rudeness and stupidity? Better them hurt and upset then me and my baby being sad, stressed and tense.

It's not terrible at all - people should be informed when they say something that is really hurtful. How else will they know to think twice before saying it to someone else? I'm just that person that always thinks of the "perfect" thing to say WAY after the fact - my first reaction is always just to be super polite and diplomatic, which is a blessing and a curse.

All the high fives for telling your mom exactly what she can do with all her "super helpful" advice and comments!

Ana0927 · December 2014

mishmardhiono said:

Katerina&Baby Those GIFs are perfect.

I wish I was bad ass enough to just straight tell people if they don't shut it I'm punching them.
This may be terrible but I'm now saying what I think to people about their opinions.. In the end the ball is in our court. Any angst won't last long because of the baby and peoples need to be involved. Telling my mum where to go was the best relief I've had. Why should I be bottling up angst, hurt and frustration over people's rudeness and stupidity? Better them hurt and upset then me and my baby being sad, stressed and tense.

I like they way you think! I might have to starting telling people what I think about their comments!

dkleid · December 2014

Adding this here because I feel.its appropriate. Does kt make me a horrible Daughter In Law because my FIL texted me at 530 and said I'll be at your house at 6pm to drop stuff of..I wasn't event home yet. Then at 6pm I texted him and said the door was open and he responded back that he has 2 flat tires and won't make it over today...I did a happy dance in the kitchen because I really can't stand him and really can't stand him when DH isn't around. So the fact that he was just going to drop by 30 min after texting me and I feel like shit AND Didnt feel like Being THE Loving Doting dil I Know I Should be. Yay for sweats and puppy snuggles!!

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