Late Term and Child Loss

* * TTCAL check-in 12/1/14 * *

Maybe JoleisaMaybe Joleisa member
edited December 2014 in Late Term and Child Loss
Welcome to TTCAL check-in! Please don't be shy in asking the PGAL/PAL ladies questions if you have them. 

 Where are you in your TTCAL journey? 

 Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? 

 QOTW: Where the heck was everyone last week?! :) 

 Open Topic: What is on your mind this week?

image
TTC since 10/2010
IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
FET (August 2014) = BFN

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Re: * * TTCAL check-in 12/1/14 * *

  • Maybe JoleisaMaybe Joleisa member
    edited December 2014
    Where are you in your TTCAL journey? This morning we had 1 "perfect" AA blast to transfer. My mind is still reeling with the "choice" to transfer 1. I would've felt better about the choice if we knew anything was guaranteed to freeze, but the other embryos weren't there yet. Our loss + 2 BFNs this year is really taking a toll on me. Throw me a bone, universe! 

    Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? Beta on 12/12. I'd like to go beta or bust, but I'm impatient as hell after about day 7. We'll see. 

     QOTW: Where the heck was everyone last week?! We hosted our families Thanksgiving day. So much work for 30 minutes of eating, but I wouldn't have it any other way. We went out for Thanksgiving a few years ago and that evening had no leftovers for a turkey sandwich--awful FWP. Vowed not to do that again if we don't have to. Sent leftovers home with everyone. 

    Open Topic: What is on your mind this week? If we are not successful this cycle, I'll be heading into the boys angelversary in January not pregnant. That isn't going to make the day any easier, so really it doesn't matter--just feels like our lives have been on hold these past 4 years through IF and losses.

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • @maybejoleisa - everything is crossed for you!!!  big ((hugs))...losses and IF suck.

    where are you in your ttcal journey? cd6 on my FET cycle...just waiting it out...

    any relevant appts. upcoming?  ultrasound on the 11th to check my lining for FET

    QOTW: we went to the mountains with dh's family...we woke up to snow on thanksgiving which was really fun.  It was a great week...now just trying to get back in the swing of things.

    open topic:  just scared to death of this not working out...i was listening to xmas music on my way home last night and got super down about how this is the third christmas we have been hoping to be our year to get our rainbow.  it's just been so hard and I don't see how I have to go thru so much in this dept and some people get it so easy.  debbie downer here.  =)

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • Congrats on your 2 perfect frosties @bunnybun4‌--that is a fantastic outcome from your cycle! 

    The fear of it not working is all consuming at times, BUT there is no reason to think you won't be successful. There's no Debbie Downer about it--IF and loss suck beyond words. 

    Sending you fluffy trilaminar vibes for your lining check next week!



    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • @MaybeJolesia, everything crossed for you!  How are the other embies?  Did you get to freeze any or is it looking likely that you will get to?

    @bunnybun4, good luck to you this cycle!  I hope everything goes perfectly!

    Where are you in your TTCAL journey? Cycle 24, TTCAL Cycle 4.  Today is most likely ovulation day although it might've been yesterday.  I had CD3 bloodwork this cycle and am waiting for 7DPO blood work.  My FSH was not great on CD3, so I'm getting AMH done with 7DPO blood work and am bracing myself for being told I have DOR.  It makes sense with my less than stellar egg quality and short LP but I still want to hope for the best.

    Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?  Just 7DPO blood work next week, and we'll take it from there.  Oh and I have my second acupuncture appointment today.

     
    QOTW: Where the heck was everyone last week?! :)  We traveled and spent Thanksgiving with family.  I avoided extended family gatherings so that I didn't have to deal with newborns born within a month of when my angel should've been.  It was pretty okay all in all.  I ended up with a stomach bug but beyond that it was good.
     
    Open Topic: What is on your mind this week?  Christmas.  I'm doing a tree for my angel, and purchasing ornaments for it proved to be pretty emotional for me.  Knowing that the only Christmas presents I will get to buy for her each year are ornaments and a grave pillow really hurts my heart.
    November 2010 - 10.5 week loss  o:) 
    October 2011 - DS (7)  <3 
    July 2014 - Stillborn DD (24 weeks)  o:) 
    August 2015 - DD (3)  <3 
    April 2018 - 5 week loss o:) 

  • **** siggy warning



    Just wanted to step in and wish everyone luck!!!!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic   image image

        My Blog

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
      

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
    Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013

    BFP # 2 8/7/14 EDD 4/22/15
    Please be our rainbow!!

    **All AL Welcome**

  • Hi ladies,

    @Maybe Joleisa‌ - FX and big ((hugs))!
    @bunnybun4‌ - GL this cycle! FX for your lining check.
    @CheesyPeas‌ - the holidays are really hard. I love that you are doing a tree for your LO. We are thinking about doing something similar - we planted a tree in the backyard for our son this past spring and I think we will decorate it for him on Christmas Eve, make it a new tradition we can do very year.

    AFM:
    Where are you in your TTCAL journey? Cycle 4, CD ? I'm not sure. 1st cycle TTA to avoid baby sharing birthday with Colton. Decided I wanted a break from temping and obsessing so not really sure where I'm at.

    Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming? A pre-conception appointment with a new OBGYN at the end of January. Found out a couple weeks ago that my OB is moving, so I'm hoping this new doctor will be a good fit and I can let go of some of this anxiety about having to switch doctors right now.

    QOTW: Where the heck was everyone last week?! At the ILs. Blah. No wifi or cell service - who lives like that?!

    Open Topic: What is on your mind this week? Christmas. All the family drama and I just don't want to deal with it. I wish we could just stay home. I haven't bought a single Christmas gift, and I feel no inspiration to start, which is really not like me, I usually love the gift giving part and have all my shopping done by now. I just want to stay home and not have to deal with people. And while I'm wishing, I wish Colton were here and we were celebrating his second Christmas and it would be so much fun.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • @cheesypeas: Of the 6 remaining embryos, I got the call yesterday that 2 made it to freeze. I'm elated and FINALLY slept like a log last night.

    FSH and AMH is only part of the picture. AFC plays a huge role, as well. Are you loving acupuncture?! I have the best 1 hour naps there! :)  A friend mailed me an ornament for the boys, so I'm going to start a tree for them, as well. It will be the only tree that gets put up this year. (Bah humbug.)

    @stefuge: I'm glad you found a new OB--hopefully it is a good match. When I originally looked for a GYN (years ago before TTC) I just wanted an office with a lot of women doctors that was convenient. After my experience on the OB side with them last year, I've decided I never want to go back there. Good GYN apparently =/= Good OB

    Everything on your mind this week? ((Big hugs)) Maybe you get sick and can't travel?

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Just wanted to say in thinking of you ladies and praying this ttc journey is coming to an end! It sounds like everyone is making huge steps! Can't wait for some wonderful BFP news! Sending lots of prayers always!
  • Hi Everyone,

    I am new to this check in -- and a bit of a weirdo because I'm not trying to be pregnant, but we are in the process to start engaging with that process again with my partner's body instead of mine (I just can't do it again right now, it feels so risky and I still haven't come to terms with my cervix issues), so we are TTCAL. 

     Where are you in your TTCAL journey?
    We are just in the beginning process of starting the frozen embryo transfer protocol for my partner.   We only have one day 3 embryo left, but we wanted to transfer it before we start another fresh cycle.  

     Do you have any relevant appointments upcoming?
    We have an appointment next week to see how the lining's coming, and do an intralipid infusion, but that's about it.  I keep thinking something will happen that will delay us more (it always seems to...), so I'm trying not to get too obsessed with this process just yet.   It also feels scary as hell so I don't really know how to process that either....  I have lots of feelings ;)

     Open Topic: What is on your mind this week?
    The effects of pregnancy on my body are still showing up, and this week has been a hard one for that.   My back/pelvis is messed up still so I've been getting intensive treatments for that and they've been hard on my body and emotions.   It feels incredibly cruel to be having to look up postpartum exercises and wade through all the "baby and me" exercises to find a few recommended core exercises to deal with that.   I've also been in quite a lot of lower back pain from a loose SI joint, which really just reminds me of pregnancy and how my body is still positioned like I'm carrying twins.   Bah.  It sucks. 

    I'm also really glad for many of you posters here.  I have been lurking, if not posting, regularly and I just wanted to let you know that your sharing helps.  I'm rooting for you guys too!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

  • @Manada: It is nice to see you back! You are not a weirdo and I'm so sorry you are still suffering the physical aftermath of the birth of your girls. If you ever figure out how to not become obsessed with this process (IF, TTCAL, etc...) write it down and you will be a very rich woman.

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

  • @Manada: It is nice to see you back! You are not a weirdo and I'm so sorry you are still suffering the physical aftermath of the birth of your girls. If you ever figure out how to not become obsessed with this process (IF, TTCAL, etc...) write it down and you will be a very rich woman.
    Thanks for the welcome -- I've been thinking of your experience as well as I go through this.  I haven't met many people IRL out there who have lost twins in the way that we have, so I value those few I find online.   I may have TAC questions in the future, if we get lucky enough to get a living, take-home baby via my partner and I decide I may want to try to be pregnant again (I pretty much feel like a TAC is the only way I would risk it).

    As for not obsessing -- honestly, it's currently easier for me (just for a moment) because I'm not actually having to remember to take the estrace all day long, and the FET requires so little appointments for now...   we're only in the beginning though, I guess I'm also just waiting for something to go wrong and delay us as well.  
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

  • I'd be happy to answer any TAC questions you may have if you decide to move forward in that direction one day. My MFM told me I wasn't "an ideal candidate for a TAC" and that "a TVC should work." That is the last day I ever needed to see any of them. (Their ideal candidates have lost 2+ babies.) The length of my siggy (and the balance in our savings acct) explains why I needed the 95% chance to carry to full term (37w) with a TAC.
    Looks like you have a nicely graded frosty, so hopefully all goes well and on schedule. The waiting during IF treatments is awful.

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  •  The length of my siggy (and the balance in our savings acct) explains why I needed the 95% chance to carry to full term (37w) with a TAC. 
    YES. 

    This is EXACTLY how I feel about it!   I'd be quite interested in how you approached those conversations (maybe in the new year, right now my heart is too full with the FET cycle and holiday grief) --- but yeah, I have recently learned there is a local hospital that is doing them pre-pregnancy, so I am considering doing a consult with them to try to plead my case for the future.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    queer couple - 32 (me) & 33 (my love) years old - donor sperm,

    Our IF/TTC journey since Nov 2012.

    Me: dx of DOR in Nov. 2012. Low AMH, AFC - 6, Normal FSH, SS-A (RO) Antibodies (Autoimmune issues), tubes clear, Sono (November 2013) NORMAL! <p>

    7 IUI's - December 2012-September 2013.  Medicated, Injected, Triggered.... all BFN.

    My Love:  (the amazing @Healz413)
    Normal AMH & FSH, AFC ~27, blocked tube dx'd via HSG in 2012.   Hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in May 2013.
    dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy in June 2013.  

    image

    Partner IVF#1a- December 2013 - H's eggs, my Ute - CANCELLED due to low response
    Partner IVF #1b - February 2014 - H's eggs, my Ute - ER February 4 (10 retrieved, 3 fertilized), Transfer Feb 7 of one Grade 1 and one Grade 2 day 3 embryos.  1 - Day 3, Grade 1 frosty saved.   BFP - 6dp3dt via FRER, Beta #1 - 110, Beta #2 175, Beta #3 - 348, Beta #4 - 2222!, Beta #5 - 4255.  Ultrasound (6w1d) - 2 heartbearts!  

    We lost our beautiful Twin baby girls on June 18, 2014.  Tavin Sara and Casey Elizabeth were born at 21 weeks gestation and were absolutely beautiful, precious, amazing babies.  We miss our daughters every day and love them with all our hearts.

    image

  • Yes--you concentrate on the FET and getting through the New Year and many of us would be happy to share info. Your lead on when you are ready!

    image
    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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