TTC After a Loss

When someone says "I'm pregnant!!!"

"B*tch" is NOT an appropriate thought in response, right?

Just checking, because that is my new gut reaction, which is tough to smooth over with a smile and a "congratulations"

I have a feeling that this drawn out ectopic on top of a m/c is going to send me to therapy... anyone else there with me?

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Re: When someone says "I'm pregnant!!!"

  • Amen!!! It's better than what I said when my "friend" told me she was pregnant right after I lost mine...." F U, from the bottom of my heart F U!" lol but there was more to it than just her being pregnant...she also had her other kids taken away for neglect. Yeah...I had every right to scream that at her. lol
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  • BAHahahhahahaha! I say that to myself everytime someone announces a pg on facebook. Glad to know I'm not alone! I hope the ectopic gets cleared up quickly. I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
    missed miscarriage began 04/08, ended 07/08 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFetus Ticker
  • A friend of mine from high school (we stay connected through facebook) got PG 5 months later got married.  Had the baby, 2 months or so later got PG again.  Talk about not fair... She was PG twice in 2008 and b/c of a m/c.

  • Thats so funny, bc I think the same thing. I am sure that is normal, I am so jealous. I think therapy is a great idea.
  • Thanks for the laugh.  :)

  • Oh snap, LMAO! Can't say I blame you after what you went/are going through.
  • Usually I think "son ofabitch!"

     

    But over the holidays I found out my sister is KU.  She's not married and wasn't trying, suprisingly I wasn't devastated and wasn't super jealous.   I might feel worse if I get a BFN this month.  (PLEASE let it be a BFP!!!)

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  • It's only bothering me now when people announce that they are due within a week of Harpie's due date -- & it's happened to me 5 times in the past week or so.

    I get over myself & smile because I am genuinely happy for them, & say congratulations.

  • I'm right there with you!  I actually went into therapy after my 1st m/c because I found out someone was pg at a wedding and became hysterical! (I'm sure the open bar may have played a role in it - at least I hid it from her! Poor DH).  I'm extra bitter these days, but that could be because I'm on cd 60...
    BFP #1: 10/22/07; 12/12/07 - Missed m/c discovered, 12/13/07 - d&c
    BFP #2: 9/25/08; 10/27/08 - Blighted ovum discovered, 11/5/08 - b/o confirmed
    BFP #3: 1/19/09 - Chemical Pregnancy
    BFP #4: 2/12/09; EDD 10/26/09 - Richie born on 9/4/09 at 4 pounds, 10 ounces
    BFP #5: 5/27/11; EDD 2/4/12 - Sylvia is on her way!
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  • I'm with you.  I even wrote about it in my blog last night.  I'm sure if any of my 1000s of pg friends read it they will be hurt, but it's about my feelings not their pregnancies.
    Todd & Kristin, 3.10.07

    After 5.5 years of loss, heartbreak, and empty arms, our dreams were fulfilled through the beautiful, selfless gift of adoption. We are amazingly blessed!

    Blog About Us | Blog About RPL/IF/Adoption

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  • After getting over the initial gut kick I usually try and get a half assed "congrats" or "that's exciting" comment out. I mean it but at the same time I want to tear their hair out and shout "wtf is my bfp?"

    Im trying to be better about this. It isn't their fault that I am infertile.

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  • Oh yeah. Totally there with you on this one...

    My first thought is usually "Of course you are, because life is fair that way" my second thought involves ripping my heart out and jumping on it a few times, since that would make it feel better. Usually by the third thought I can muster up a semi-convincing Congratulations.

    *sigh* I'm going to hell.

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  • Or... when your best friend calls to tell you that she's 11 weeks pg and is contemplating aborting the pregnancy.  Try telling her how hard it is to lose a baby naturally.... let alone how hard it must be to consciously end your child's life.  I just wanted to yell at her sooo much!!!!  But, all I did was cry a little and try to talk to her out of it.
  • I think that mostly when I they are due in July which is when my little one would have been born. 
    From miscarriages, a diagnosis of a bicornuate uterus, and fibroid removal surgery...It's been quite the journey but it was all well worth it. Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Whenever I'm at Target or somewhere and see a pg lady i walk the other way and think bad things about her.  then i try and think, "Maybe it was really hard for her to get pg too, maybe she's suffered too" and try to get over it.

    I hope when I'm a big fat pg lady nobody who has gone thru these struggles will see me bc I look like I'm 15 and they'll probably think, "Great, another pregnant teenager."

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