Telling the boss....

CrouchingTiger · December 2014

When do you think or want to tell your boss/manager that you are pregnant? This is my second pregnancy but during the first pregnancy I had to inform my boss right away due to chemicals and hazardous working conditions. I miscarried the week after that discussion. Since then I have changed careers that is less hazardous and I'm not sure when it's appropriate to have that discussion this time around. Thoughts?

vsandbrook · December 2014

Something to add to the advice in the Q&As (especially given how far along we are and the time of year): you may want to consider whether or not you want to inform your boss before your annual review. If it's not necessary to do so and if you can manage to keep it quiet, your pregnancy won't be taken into account when he/she is reviewing your performance. Though the bias should not be there, it could be. In some cases, the bias may work in your favor. Just add this factor into all the other things your considering in your own situation.

Personally, I'm in a place where I don't want my new job description and goals to center around my pregnancy; there'll be plenty of time to plan for maternity leave after I hit that 12-week mark.

mrslampert · December 2014

I'm in the same boat. I was suppose to change my position to be in a position that travels for work. Well, obviously this is severely going to limit my ability to travel. I don't want to tell my boss until I'm further along (I'm 5 weeks). My first trip is scheduled for the last week in Jan.

I have a Dr appt Friday, if that goes well, we're telling our family at Christmas. Then probably telling the boss right after the new year.

KMBC2552 · December 2014

I will not be telling until I am into the 2nd tri. I think I waited until about 16 weeks with my last two pregnancies. Then it was starting to get noticeable.

lindy27 · December 2014

I was about 16/17 weeks last time, because I was starting to show and people were suspicious.

MissesFroom · December 2014

I plan on second tri. I am a teacher so I will be off for summer break for my due date, but I will miss the beginning of the school year! That's going to be tough, but soooo worth it!!

pmcd886 · December 2014

MissesFroom said:
I plan on second tri. I am a teacher so I will be off for summer break for my due date, but I will miss the beginning of the school year! That's going to be tough, but soooo worth it!!

I am in the same boat.

lebradford · December 2014

My boss already knows because I told her we were doing IVF because I didn't want people to get the wrong idea about why I had so many days off in November. This pregnancy is being very closely monitored and I'm missing more work so I just told her.

In a normal situation I would tell people I work with at the beginning of 2nd tri and I'd tell my boss just before that.

BethKate2 · December 2014

lebradford said:

My boss already knows because I told her we were doing IVF because I didn't want people to get the wrong idea about why I had so many days off in November. This pregnancy is being very closely monitored and I'm missing more work so I just told her. In a normal situation I would tell people I work with at the beginning of 2nd tri and I'd tell my boss just before that.

This is kind of my situation too. Since starting treatment in October, I've needed a lot more time off from work than what's usual for me. My immediate supervisor worked in my grade level (I'm a teacher) until last year, so we're pretty close. I haven't told her I'm pregnant yet, but she knows we were doing treatment, so I think she may suspect it now that I've had 3 appts. in the last two weeks. I may tell her soon, as a friend, but I won't tell HR or my big bosses until at least the second trimester. Ideally, I'd like to wait until I'm showing and can't hide it anymore.

mrsb30 · December 2014

I already told my work, we are all really close and they were excited.

cubberss · December 2014

I have an ultrasound on the 19th, and as long as everything is looking good I'll tell my boss after.

brochmeltbaby · December 2014

I work in sales and alcohol sales at that. So I told my direct two supervisors and ask them not to mention it to anyone but just didn't want them thinking I was slacking or not being a good team member, since after work events are frequent. They are both parents and have been very helpful and discreet.

emt04001 · December 2014

I'm definitely planning to wait til 2nd tri...I also work in a school so I'll be missing the beginning of next year. I just started my job and have my first annual review in january- announcing after that at some point

myfriendscallmemeg · December 2014

I'm getting caught up with work from home and as soon as I am I'm giving my boss notice.

I hate working from home, which I did my entire maternity leave and since.

It's not fun having a phone you're obligated to answer ring when you've been trying to get your baby asleep for an hour.

lcwed · December 2014

Another teacher here. I am planning on telling my principal after the first tri, but I may say something to the assistant principal when we get back from break in early January if it is pretty obvious. The assistant principal can keep a secret, the principal can't. I already want to be public so I can bust out the maternity pants, but we are being pretty firm on the end of first tri.

stenobook · December 2014

Also a teacher. First time I told my principal around 10 weeks because we had just started back after summer break and I was having really bad morning sickness and wanted her to know just in case. This time, I would like to wait until either the MS starts again or longer, but I currently have bus duty and don't want to be outside with the diesel fumes. I'm debating between just not going out and seeing how long it takes them to notice or telling her when I'm only five weeks.

lafsalot · December 2014

I am going to wait as long as I can with this pregnancy, my DH wants to share with everyone already but we haven't told family yet. The plan is to tell family at Christmas, he has told his prayer group and boss already. I want to wait as long as possible because I am working toward a goal in my career for 2016 and this pregnancy wasn't planned, during my last pregnancy, I lost a promotion, and felt like I was treated much differently because I was pregnant. I love the owners of my company but the VP was trying to lay off me and let me "enjoy" my pregnancy but only caused a lot more stress and damaged our personal and work relationship because of how everything was handled... This time I am not giving them the opportunity to put me in that position again. The nice thing is that I control my maternity leave and will likely work from home until the baby is almost 4 months after my leave is up. I gave them too much notice last time and felt pushed out... The added stress about work sucked.

mrspiatt · December 2014

I'm definitely waiting til my 2nd tri- I just don't know when to do it in that time. I work from home, so I don't have to worry about people noticing. I just don't want to feel like I am being deceitful. I am also kinda new with the company I'm working for, so I'm a little nervous about telling them too soon.

ShellyR · December 2014

I'm in a very precarious situation in which I'm supposed to start a new position in July. Yikes. I may very well lose my position once I tell my new boss, so I need to calculate this carefully. Right now my biggest fear by far is losing this baby, but my second biggest stressor is my career.

Kalidawn523 · December 2014

I'm an ICU nurse so I'm going to avoid telling as long as I can but as soon as I'm scheduled to take a flu room I'll have to out myself.

Meeeow · December 2014

Last pregnancy, I told right away because there were pregnancy risks (veterinary hospital; I took x-rays). Now, having changed careers, I wasn't planning on telling until about 12 weeks. However, I've been so miserably sick, I wanted him to know why so I told him yesterday. I'm very lucky to work in the medical field with people who deal with this kind of stuff all the time though.

preppywife · December 2014

This is all so new so we don't have a concrete plan in place but I think* that I will wait until the second trimester unless there is a need to prior.

Also- just to throw it out there work in HR and handle all FMLAs for a sizable company. I'd be happy to offer insight if anyone needs help navigating this.

vsandbrook · December 2014

lafsalot said:

I am going to wait as long as I can with this pregnancy, my DH wants to share with everyone already but we haven't told family yet. The plan is to tell family at Christmas, he has told his prayer group and boss already. I want to wait as long as possible because I am working toward a goal in my career for 2016 and this pregnancy wasn't planned, during my last pregnancy, I lost a promotion, and felt like I was treated much differently because I was pregnant. I love the owners of my company but the VP was trying to lay off me and let me "enjoy" my pregnancy but only caused a lot more stress and damaged our personal and work relationship because of how everything was handled... This time I am not giving them the opportunity to put me in that position again. The nice thing is that I control my maternity leave and will likely work from home until the baby is almost 4 months after my leave is up. I gave them too much notice last time and felt pushed out... The added stress about work sucked.

Just clarifying that this is what I clicked "Love It" for. Glad to hear you're taking a stand for yourself. It's not easy.

mrsthimpson721 · December 2014

I actually told my boss today because I was applying for a scholarship where I would have had to move for a year. So I had to take my name out of the running and told my boss. She was very supportive and excited for me. It was actually a lot easier than I thought it was going to be! This thread was making me nervous to tell.

Hopefully everyone who is having anxiety about it can relax and have an easy time telling theirs!

morganlmw · December 2014

I mentioned before that I work at a blood bank. My job is in planning and recruitment. I plan to tell my team in January at our meeting. Everyone will already be suspicious why I haven't been donating.
Plus I will need to do advance planning that will require her help

preppywife · December 2014

ShellyR said:

I'm in a very precarious situation in which I'm supposed to start a new position in July. Yikes. I may very well lose my position once I tell my new boss, so I need to calculate this carefully. Right now my biggest fear by far is losing this baby, but my second biggest stressor is my career.

If your boss rescinds the offer I would firmly remind them of the protections you are afforded under the PDA https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/statutes/pregnancy.cfm and call the EEOC (assuming no factors other than pregannacy).

tuckerjoy · February 2015

I am at 12 weeks and hoping to wait until the 2nd trimester but I received a raise last week and I'm afraid they will retract the raise and not to it through. I've been missing work a lot for appointments and afraid they are getting suspicious.

GirlOnTheBeach · February 2015

tuckerjoy said:
I am at 12 weeks and hoping to wait until the 2nd trimester but I received a raise last week and I'm afraid they will retract the raise and not to it through. I've been missing work a lot for appointments and afraid they are getting suspicious.

They can't retract the raise because of pregnancy, that's illegal and a form of discrimination. If you're worried that missing work for appointments could jeopardize your raise, then consider just telling them it's because of the pregnancy so they don't think you're just suddenly slacking off.

JemHolo2015 · February 2015

I told at the beginning of the second trimester. The partners at my firm were pretty relaxed about it, especially after I told them
I'm planning to come back full time.

prpl11butterfly · February 2015

My immediate boss knew right away...we work in a small room together, 40 hours a week and we were pretty in sync. She also knew we were TTC. So, even if I didn't tell her, she would have figured it out. Next up in the chain found out because he noticed that I was not sitting with my immediate in her car on breaks because she was smoking. He made an innocent comment so I came clean. 3 other people in my company know, and 2 are because I need a few things finalized before my leave and they are tied to that. I plan to start telling people within the next week. Have another appt on Thursday so it will make me more comfortable sharing.

Want a personalized experience?

Telling the boss....

Re: Telling the boss....

Choose Another Board

Search Boards