Intro after 3yrs of silently reading boards while TTC

Bizzy4Baby · November 2014

I have finally decided to be vocal on my TTC journey with you lovely ladies! I have been researching and reading all of the wonderful, motivation and helpful posts that you ladies write and i would like to partake in the boards and share my stories and vent with you all if you would pls allow me to.

My DH and i have been TTC since we got married in 2011. Unfortunately we were unable to even start the process because I was not having an AF and hadn't had one 6 months prior to getting married! so now its been 3 yrs, 5 Dr's and a PCOS diagnosis later and still no baby! my husband is military and I have only been able to see military Dr's. (although I have requested a referral to see an RE but have been denied that.) The insurance (tricare) is pretty awesome but every time I go and see my PCM, It almost feel as though they don't want to help me because they tell me that i'm still young and it'll happen... (I'm 28 BTW) and they tell me that if i lose weight it'll happen (which i understand). Then last but not least i get told that in order to be prescribed clomid i have to be at a BMI of i think it was 30 she said. Since that info I have lost 30 lbs and still trying to lose more not to mention that cycles have become regular for a yr now (although they're about 40-45 days long) and i have started taking vitamins (geritol) and things to help me. So i think im doing my part, but each time I go back to the Dr they prolong my wait and tell me to get an opk and keep trying naturally for 3 mos and see what happens. And when i ask about seeing an RE, i was told that they cannot give me referral to an RE yet for some bullcrap reason and so forth. Im so Frustrated!!! I just dont know what to do or how to even continue! I need an HSG and cant even get that done. Not to mention EVERYONE ON MY FB NEWSFEED IS PREGNANT even my sister in law just announced she was pregnant a couple of days ago. Im happy for her and losing hope for myself. Help ladies!!!

Sorry about the Long and unorganized explanation but thats what my mind has become of due to all this!!!

Bizzy4Baby · November 2014

Thank you so much!! It all has been a train wreck just getting some medical help. But I'm definitely still trying to keep my head up! i don't want to get too discouraged considering i haven't tried everything yet but trying to get to the next step is definitely challenging! and of course being military and the sudden moves doesn't make it any better either as far as PCM changes are concerned! the BMI requirement came off as a surprise to me also considering i have seen women with a BMI higher that 30 as well as BMIs higher than mine taking them lol! but i pray that she can give me some pointers on what i can do! I appreciate your response! you have no idea!!!

juneroses · November 2014

I'm sorry you have to be here, but glad you joined us. Your doctor's approach makes me so mad. I second @rainbowbridge14‌. My RE went to great lengths to explain that PCOS is a syndrome that is caused by an imbalance in how your body uses insulin - the EFFECTs of which can be weight gain, infertility, increased risk for heart disease, etc. I'm within the normal bmi range, and that hasn't "prevented" my PcOS - I've always had irregular periods, and have the low "good" cholesterol you sometimes see with pcos. Advocate - hard! - to get the treatment & information you need. PCOS affects many areas of your health - it just sucks that so many ob's and gp's don't realize it. FX for your next steps!

Bizzy4Baby · November 2014

I sure pray that when i find an RE theyll be as awesome as some of yours! I just have not had any luck with Drs lately!!!

BandM14 · November 2014

I don't have much advice, but welcome. I'm sorry you have to be here, and for the awful experience you've had with trying to find a good doctor for IF. Wishing you lots of luck!

BunnyBerry · November 2014

I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. I'm glad you've joined us, but I do hope your stay is short!

I agree with PPs - I bet Ketchup will have some good advice on how to get Tricare to do their job and send you to an RE.

Kudos to you for self-advocating. I am so glad that you are not just accepting their BS. I don't have any good advice unfortunately...I can't understand why all PCPs and OBs don't just write a referral and send a woman on her merry way to the RE once she's tried unsuccessfully for a year. Who do they think they are? You started TTC 3+ years ago because that's when you planned your family. Who are they to say that you should just adjust your timing to "whenever it happens to work, or you get old enough that it will start to get even more difficult to help you get pregnant."

Rachaeleigh · November 2014

I'm sorry that you're dealing with so much frustration. Hopefully you can get it figured out soon
Welcome

tlc35 · November 2014

Welcome to the board. I am sorry to here you are having insurance issues. That is really frustrating.

pinkdoggie · November 2014

Welcome. It sounds like a very frustrating journey you have had. I also have PCOS and understand the struggles. GL to you and hope you're not on here much longer!

SND1231 · November 2014

I just wanted to say welcome. PP have covered pretty much everything. Good luck. Hope your stay is short and sweet!

emmuffy · November 2014

Welcome. Good luck with getting your RE referral and I hope your stay here is short

ronniesgirl1981 · November 2014

Welcome! FWIW I was on clomid with a BMI over 30. I hope you can get the medical care you need.

Bizzy4Baby · November 2014

OK @iPutKetchupOnKetchup Can i just say that I LOVE YOU!!! LOL! No one has ever broken things down for me like you just did! I will be making an appt first thing monday morning. you just gave me sooo much hope right now. I'll go with option number 2, hopefully i can find an RE in my area! lol i will definitely keep you posted! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! Also to the rest of you ladies and i also pray for sticky baby dust to you all!!

Finally I feel like i came to the right place! Ill be back with an update!

deelopi9 · November 2014

Hi and welcome! I can certainly feel your frustration, doctors are supposed to be helpful and it's beyond frustrating when they give you that bullshitt response... oh you're still young. Good luck

Bizzy4Baby · November 2014

Oh I apologize!!! i will remember that! Thanks @rainbowbridge14

dominicandreamer · November 2014

Welcome to the board and I'm sorry you find yourself her after a long and frustrating process. Although I have no first hand experience with the military or their obeisance, I wish you luck going forward. Hopefully someone will see you and understand the struggle they'be put you through. GL

MissK23 · November 2014

Welcome and GL! I hope you can get the referral you need! Dealing with IF is a nightmare without being denied the support you deserve!

mshandlebar · November 2014

Welcome! I hope your stay here is short and sweet. Good luck!

LaceyStardust · November 2014

Good luck with talking to your PCM!

I actually used to work in the Family Health section at my last base, and I have seen a lot of patients on bended knee asking for referrals that didn't get anywhere...this is, as PP has said, the PCM will not budge, even with a PA on their back, without proper medical 'justification'.

So bring a laundry list of information with you-

Tell the technician that is screening you that you have had all the appropriate work up and have been dx'd with PCOS and you are just looking for a specialist referral. Point-blank tell the PCM that you would like a RE.

When patients have been rejected for their referrals, its usually due to rushing into the more expensive treatment. Lets face it, the Military is alllll about saving money and doing as little as possible in routine care. And they are not the biggest fans of reproductive rights.

Make sure to let them know the steps you have already taken. Medical professionals tend to be skeptical of subjective history. You gotta back it up!

Again, good luck! Ketchup's breakdown of Tricare was great advice. Best wishes!

dancerspose · December 2014

I have nothing additional add, but wanted to say welcome and good luck! Also, thank you to you and your husband for your service!

Bizzy4Baby · December 2014

Hello Ladies! So after chatting with ya'll i made an appt to see my OB. Fortunately for me i didn't see my original OB and ended up having to see a completely different one. She was the most caring and driven Dr I have ever met in all VA Dr history :-). Long story short she is going to schedule my Hsg and will be monitoring me on clomid cycles. I didn't think OBs did monitoring cycles which i politely asked her about because i don't want to unmonitored while on that pill but she said she makes sure that she does. Everything looks promising from here on out. I went to the appt with my guard up and quickly had to let them down because i barely had to ask her anything, she just did what a Dr was supposed to do. AND HUGGED ME at the end of the appt! the only thing that is unfortunate in this situation is that my husband and i have to PCS AGAIN in march and if this cycle doesn't work out i only pray to find a good Dr as concerned as her when we get to the next duty station. but fingers crossed that it only takes 1 cycle! Thanks for the help ladies!!! Count down to CD1 starts!! ;-)

PeonyPop · December 2014

GL! I can attest to the fact that losing weight is not the golden ticket for PCOS. I lost 15 lbs over the last year and now weigh 127.. doesn't get much closer to ideal weight for me and yet here I am on day 65 of my cycle. It can be hard as hell to lose weight with PCOS, but I found that [sticking as closely as possible to a] low carb (only whole carbs, whole rice etc when I do)/no processed sugar helped a ton. However, my bloodwork looks MUCH better (normal testosterone levels now!), and I have gone from having like 40+ follies in each ovary to 16 and 13 follies so... at least (edited to clarify) working my health helped to alleviate some symptoms of the problem, so I would still recommend working on it.

Another thing to consider: My new RE put me on metformin about 6 weeks ago, which seems to help for a lot of girls on PCOS with insulin resistance. It can take a while to affect your system, so I am still holding out hope that it will help.... I just thought I would put it out there in case you want to discuss with your doctor/future RE, as they will be able to determine whether it is a good option for you.

Also, I'm glad your new OB seems to be helping, but I would still recommend continuing to pursue the RE path at least to get a second opinion. My fertility journey has been long and frustrating.. and clomid won't necessarily be the magic pill that changes it all (in fact - it can thin your lining, which did happen for me on clomid and letrozole). A good RE can help keep you from going down that path too and have expertise in understanding and treating fertility problems.

southernyankeegirl · December 2014

Bizzy4Baby said:
Hello Ladies! So after chatting with ya'll i made an appt to see my OB. Fortunately for me i didn't see my original OB and ended up having to see a completely different one. She was the most caring and driven Dr I have ever met in all VA Dr history :-). Long story short she is going to schedule my Hsg and will be monitoring me on clomid cycles. I didn't think OBs did monitoring cycles which i politely asked her about because i don't want to unmonitored while on that pill but she said she makes sure that she does. Everything looks promising from here on out. I went to the appt with my guard up and quickly had to let them down because i barely had to ask her anything, she just did what a Dr was supposed to do. AND HUGGED ME at the end of the appt! the only thing that is unfortunate in this situation is that my husband and i have to PCS AGAIN in march and if this cycle doesn't work out i only pray to find a good Dr as concerned as her when we get to the next duty station. but fingers crossed that it only takes 1 cycle! Thanks for the help ladies!!! Count down to CD1 starts!! ;-)

***** Grad / Pregnancy related info in Siggy *****

Helllllo... Ketchup covered the TriCare stuff beautifully. I am sure the rest of the ladies will emphasize how important it is to be 100% on top of your new sympathetic OB. So glad to hear she's at least doing an HSG! It sounds like she really cares. Just be careful as even those OBs who care aren't as qualified as an RE and can sometimes do more harm than good. After as long as you've been trying, an RE is more than justified.

However, if you were going to start with this OB, the other tests that are essential before starting any medication are:

- A sperm analysis for your DH. He can request this from his PCM, and he should push back if they give him any shit. After 1 year of trying, you are entitled to testing for infertility. Your OB can write a request that he can bring in.

- Day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound. This will check to make sure your body is functioning normally and can rule out issues that would prevent a healthy pregnancy.

And as for monitoring, most OBs don't do the full monitoring really necessary, and cutting corners can have devastating consequences. Make sure they do the Day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound (to check hormone levels and to look at your ovaries for any cysts - especially important for PCOS girls! A cyst that is then pumped up with Clomid can rupture and at the least cause excruciating pain, and potentially require your ovary to be removed surgically) as well as pre-ovulation ultrasounds (around CD 9 or 10 the first cycle, maybe another a few days later - once you get a feel for when you ovulate on Clomid, they may push this to CD 12 or something accordingly). This will prevent you from continuing with a cycle when you would release too many eggs - this way you don't end up as the next Jon & Kate Plus 8 (in military base housing - yuck!)

I will also say that TriCare Standard is probably my favorite thing ever, so if you really find you aren't getting good care on Prime (either now or after you PCS), it's nothing to be afraid of in terms of costs. No matter how you shake it and how much you use it, it will never cost more than $100/month out of pocket over the course of a year. Of course, there's infertility specific things that are an additional OOP (specifically related to IUIs and IVF) but they would be for Prime also. If you get to those types of procedures, PM Ketchup and/or me and we'd be happy to help you navigate those obstacles and minimize costs.

The deductible is indeed rank dependent, but the highest amount is $150 annually. As an individual, your annual cap would be $1000 additional with a cost share (called co-insurance) for most covered services. The "family" cap only really applies if you have more than 2 kids also on Standard - individual is what matters right now for your care.

However, plenty is covered with zero deductible or co-insurance even before the deductible is met, including an annual well woman visit, PCM check-up, and all maternity coverage when you get pregnant (with the absolutely ridiculous exception of $18/day spent in the hospital - pennies, I tell you). And TriCare negotiates amazing rates with doctors, so I have never paid more than $30-40 for a doctors visit or procedure, far more frequently only around $10. I absolutely used-and-abused my insurance last year between infertility testing, infertility treatment cycles, weekly psychologist visits, physical therapy, several dermatology issues and biopsies, and a whole bunch of sickness-related issues (probably my immune system was crap from all the stress) and I still didn't hit the cap out of pocket. Pricing that out, it's less than $100/month budgeted out over a year. To me, it was soooooo worth being able to pick my own doctors and not have to deal with the hassle of referrals.

Big hugs and best wishes!!! Dealing with infertility in a military community is a special kind of hell because everyone else seems to be so damned fertile. I nearly punched the lady who was complaining about how easily she got pregnant when I first arrived here a year ago - empathy for infertility is just lacking! Always here to talk to a fellow MilSpo if you need a sympathetic shoulder.

***** Grad / Pregnancy related info in Siggy *****

Bizzy4Baby · December 2014

I still definitely want to take the RE route for a second opinion. It actually works out with me PCSing again, so when i get to my new duty station, i may just switch to standard and possibly head out to dallas and find a good RE, Ive heard great things about a specific Dr there. My husband did the SA a couple of months back and his was superb!!! and she did tell me to come out on CD3 for all bloodwork and ultrasound and then i do an HSG between days 7-9. i think overall she may be doing 2 ultrasounds. I think 1 on CD3 before the hsg and 1 after OV! but i may need to call and get a little more clarification on that now that u bring that up. thanks for that. I was so excited that everything she said sounded good. If this doesn't work im sure she will give me a referral for an RE, I remember that she had that on the list as well. but if not standard i go! so before i leave i could just ask her about it!

But i try to not go on post as often... lol all the women have Baby Bumps.

) and im just there like :-S... But you ladies definitely know your stuff. I pray i can one day help women that are going through the same thing in the future with all the info that y'all have packed me with! :-) Thank you so much!!!

southernyankeegirl · December 2014

@Bizzy4Baby‌ - just ask about a pre-O ultrasound too. Don't wanna release a gazillion eggs and end up with septuplets!

Good luck :-)

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