Hi Ladies,
I know this has been addressed in the past but I would like to get some fresh opinions on what is an appropriate Christmas / holiday gift for a full time nanny.
Our nanny has been with us for about a year. She is excellent and we definitely want to keep her. We pay her very well and often allow her to leave early (probably more often than not). She had a week of paid vacation this summer and gets paid holidays off. For example on the week of Thanksgiving, she left at noon on Wed. and was off until the following Monday, but was paid for the full week. I would like to give her a nice Christmas gift, but I feel that the "week's pay" standard seems a little excessive. Perhaps this seems reasonable to those who are accustomed to getting large holiday bonuses at work, but this has never been my experience. I was thinking more of a gift card for several hundred dollars and a small personal gift. It seems to me that a gift is a gift, a token of appreciation and that there should not be an expectation of a certain $ amount.
Thoughts?
TTC #1 12/2009
BFP #1 1/2010, M/C 6 weeks
BFP #2 6/2010, DD lost to congenital heart disease,
we are heartbroken.
TTC #2 4/2011, diagnosed MTHFR, FVL
Four natural cycles BFN; Clomid IUI BFN; Follistim IUI BFN;
1/2012 IVF #1 BFN
4/2012 FET BFP #3
5/2012 7w1d u/s: anembryonic demise; M/C @ 8w.
6/2012 found Stage II/III endo on laparoscopy, removed w/ laser.
8/2012 IVF #2 epic fail: no viable embryos.
Vacation, break, second opinions, on to new RE.
1/2013 Surprise chemical pregnancy BFP #4 (break cycle), IVF #3 postponed.
2/2013 TI w/ hormonal support, prednisone, aspirin, Lovenox, acupuncture gave us a miracle BFP #5!
Heartbeat on U/S at 6w1d! Baby,please stay!!Our miracle baby boy arrived 10/2013! We are so in love!!
10/2014 Surprise BFP #6
Our second daughter arrived in May 2015! We are so grateful!



Re: Nanny holiday gift
I would say though, your arguments for her paid time off arent really relevant. I also was off Thursday and Friday of thanksgiving week and was paid for a full week. Most salaried employees are. I also get more than a week of paid vacation throughout the year. I would say with many nanny families I know, 2 full weeks paid vacation is customary-1 of their choosing and 1 of yours plus paid holidays.
You letting her leave early when you are able to is not a substitute for a Christmas gift. Also your vacation and holiday pay for her is pretty standard.
A week's pay is still the norm, but I think if you do what you are suggesting that would still be appreciated. I would not do any less than that.
BFP #1 1/2010, M/C 6 weeks
BFP #2 6/2010, DD lost to congenital heart disease, we are heartbroken.
TTC #2 4/2011, diagnosed MTHFR, FVL
Four natural cycles BFN; Clomid IUI BFN; Follistim IUI BFN;
1/2012 IVF #1 BFN
4/2012 FET BFP #3
5/2012 7w1d u/s: anembryonic demise; M/C @ 8w.
6/2012 found Stage II/III endo on laparoscopy, removed w/ laser.
8/2012 IVF #2 epic fail: no viable embryos.
Vacation, break, second opinions, on to new RE.
1/2013 Surprise chemical pregnancy BFP #4 (break cycle), IVF #3 postponed.
2/2013 TI w/ hormonal support, prednisone, aspirin, Lovenox, acupuncture gave us a miracle BFP #5!
Heartbeat on U/S at 6w1d! Baby,please stay!!
BFP #1 1/2010, M/C 6 weeks
BFP #2 6/2010, DD lost to congenital heart disease, we are heartbroken.
TTC #2 4/2011, diagnosed MTHFR, FVL
Four natural cycles BFN; Clomid IUI BFN; Follistim IUI BFN;
1/2012 IVF #1 BFN
4/2012 FET BFP #3
5/2012 7w1d u/s: anembryonic demise; M/C @ 8w.
6/2012 found Stage II/III endo on laparoscopy, removed w/ laser.
8/2012 IVF #2 epic fail: no viable embryos.
Vacation, break, second opinions, on to new RE.
1/2013 Surprise chemical pregnancy BFP #4 (break cycle), IVF #3 postponed.
2/2013 TI w/ hormonal support, prednisone, aspirin, Lovenox, acupuncture gave us a miracle BFP #5!
Heartbeat on U/S at 6w1d! Baby,please stay!!
I give one weeks salary. I just think of it like a bill like car insurance or preschool tuition. Yes. It is painful, especially this time of year. There have been years in the past where it has been more than our budget for everything else for the holiday put together (we don't get holiday bonuses either). But that is kind of what's expected, and I know that she has her own expenses and charities she would like to give to this time of year.
There are industry standards for every industry. I don't get tips, but that doesn't mean I don't have to pay them to waitresses. I don't get paid overtime but I have to pay it to my nanny.
Bonuses are discretionary, so you can pay what you want. If your total payment/benefits package is less than she would be getting down the street, you run the risk that she'll get a new job down the street, so you just have to weigh that risk against what you're willing to pay.
BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14. 4/27/14: Our second take home baby is here!
Give me a break... just because someone can't or doesn't give a nanny 1 week of pay as a bonus does not make them an employer that doesn't pay well. This is ridiculous. Maybe it wasn't your intended opinion but it sounds that way.
If I were a nanny, I'd rather work for a family that is kind, level-headed with a smaller Christmas bonus than work for a nightmare family and get money. We all make similar decisions to take a particular job that may not pay as much but the other benefits are more important to us.
So to OP, give generously within your means and make it heartfelt.