February 2014 Moms

WWF14D?

A friend of mine is getting married the weekend of Dec 20th-21st. She texted me a few weeks ago to tell me the invite was returned to her because she put the wrong zip code. She was going to resend and in the meantime I should look at her wedding website for details - but didn't provide that information. I still have not received a formal invitation, and therefore have not RSVP'd. I haven't heard from her since that last text over a month ago.

Do I actively seek her out to tell her I never got an invite? It's far away (not overnight far, but a good hour+ drive) and H will still not be home from training. So, do I secure an sitter for A and venture out all knocked up to who knows where for a wedding I wasn't officially invited too?

The consensus of friends I've asked is "fuck it, it's not your responsibility to keep track of her wedding website, she should be keeping track of her guest list, RSVPs, etc." Admittedly, I have some bitchy friends so I thought F14 could offer a voice of reason.

I'm not going to lie, going to this wedding is going to be a total PITA, but I can put my big girl panties on, suck it up, and go if it's the right thing to do.

WWF14D?
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Re: WWF14D?

  • Eh, depends on the friend. I'm guessing she's not a real close friend of yours, so I'd probably say screw it.
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  • We were very close when we both lived in DC but have drifted apart over the past few years. Mostly due to the fact that she's always been very flaky - canceling last minute, not canceling at all, but not showing up.

    Example: she was invited to my baby shower last year. I told the host to reach out to her because she's the the type to RSVP and not show up or not RSVP and show up anyway. They took my advice and spoke with her the day before the shower. She said she was coming - still never showed up. I called, texted and emailed her asking if she was ok, did something come up, etc. No answer. For months. Then she gave some half-assed excuse that I can't even remember. NBD I wasn't upset about it and kind of expected it. I just feel like I'm constantly going out of my way to try to connect with her and make plans and I always get blown off. And now the run around with her own wedding. I'm kind of over it.
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  • edited December 2014
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  • Ditto @katybriggs - it sounds like it won't be a terrible loss for you to miss this, and while it sounds like you were invited I would just text her and say something about not receiving the invite but also letting her know you're not able to make it. I'm guessing she expected you to go search out her wedding website? Or if is a known flake she meant to send it but never did. Who knows. I do tend to agree if she REALLY wanted you there, she'd have reached out to you already to ask whether you ever did get the invite the second time around.


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  • I agree about skipping w a text or call as a heads up. I would probably send a gift though. But I'm an "over gifter".
    I hope to create a real siggy but first I need some sleep!

    Mom to Lily and Colin!
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