RE Appt and Dissapointment

Limbo2000 · December 2014

I was referred by a lot here to get an apt with an RE instead of a regular gyno. I've had 3 OBGYNS in the past 2 yrs TTC. I had to get a referral last week from a family doctor and was sooooo excited for the appointment. However, I'm really disappointed, she said I've had all the tests up to this point (unexplained 2ndary IF), and she wants me to start by more in depth charting (I currently just use an app). And that was kind of it. Was I expecting too much or is this the norm? Ive done the extreme charting off and on - and am glad all the tests are coming back normal - but after 2 yrs and 2 miscarriages why am I the only one that feels something is NOT normal????? IDK. She was very nice, and said since there isn't a diagnosis as of yet we will start with these steps. I guess it just didn't seem any different then the obgyns. I should change my user name to impatient expecting miracle workers lol.

Cheetara2 · December 2014

Unexplained IF is tough. You almost want them to find something so that you'll at least know what it is so you can think of ways to 'treat' or 'fix' the problem. Sorry, I don't know your full history, but has your DH been tested as well? Did she mention going the IUI route at all?

welly01 · December 2014

I have not seen an RE yet, so I have no experience with that. I just wanted to say I'm sorry she wasn't able to give you a better game plan.

Limbo2000 · December 2014

Thanks all. I keep meaning to make a signature so my full history is there. But DH has had his swimmers tested and all is well, wears boxers, the whole nine yards lol. She did say after my "more in depth" charting, she could look at it and thinks clomid is worth a try. But we already know I ovulate? I don't know, 2 years, no explanations, 2 losses, and I made it clear we also want to be very aggressive. I've heard of Famera, maybe I should ask for it???? IUI was not mentioned at the apt at all.

emsmama15 · December 2014

May I ask how old you are @Limbo2000? The only thing I can think of, is if you have some "time" (ie. you're not old like me), maybe your RE would like you to chart and pinpoint ovulation for a few months, have good timing, and make sure it's not just that you ovulate later or earlier than you think?

That being said, I honestly would look for a different RE if I were you. After two years and more importantly, two losses, I think a RE should be more aggressive. I don't blame you for being disappointed and I don't think this is how your appointment should have gone.

At my very first RE consult (in 2012), my RE looked at my charting, but didn't really rely on that to dictate a treatment plan. I'm rambling, but I'm honestly a bit perplexed that this happened. So, bottom line, second opinion?? Good luck!

Limbo2000 · December 2014

Im thinking a second opinion too - and I feel I'm pretty aggressive with all the doctors I've seen too - but still get "blown" off. I was told yesterday not to worry until 3 m/c. I'm 31. I've done the BBT charting (w/ stressed me out) ovulation kits etc. I found the app works best for me - and we make sure we are BD every other day so we'd be covered ne way with out the extra stress. It took me a year to get pregnant the first time, and almost another year after that both ended in loss. Ive been taking prenatals the entire time, but that's it. I was prescribed progesterone for both pregnancies tthat ended in M/C - even tho my levels were already ok. I see you have used clomid before - did u have problems ovulating? Im just wondering why she would want to prescribe that since I know that I ovulate (and had tests to confirm with doc). But if it works, that would be great. The RE wants me to BBT again and I did that almost the first full year TTC before the first m/c, and was told by another doc don't bother lol. I don't know its def a vicious circle

leah2489 · December 2014

I feel your pain. I am in almost the same boat, 2 years TTC and 2 miscarriages but all tests normal. I am still working with my OB, and I am doing the same things as you. I also feel there is something wrong with that picture, and want to know what! lbvs. Good luck!

Limbo2000 · December 2014

GOOD LUCK to you as well!

Reagan1010 · December 2014

I'm sorry to say this, but I would find a new RE. Our first appointment we went over our health history, the tests she was going to do and most importantly to me, she went through almost every possible treatment. She said that it would all depend on our test results, but we would have lots of options. We could discuss how aggressive we wanted to be and go from there. I left my first appointment feeling hope. ..I hadn't felt hopeful in a very long time!

I'm so sorry your RE appointment was a let down!

emsmama15 · December 2014

To answer your question, I do ovulate every month. It's a later ovulation when not using a trigger shot (cd 19-20) and probably a weak one. My RE just gave me the diagnosis of "ovulatory dysfunction" related to my PCOS. Clomid can help your eggs mature, so even if you ovulate on your own, Clomid does help. Femara does the same thing but less side effects, less chance of twins,and less uterine lining thinning (which happened to me with Clomid). If you're having sex every other day, I don't think charting is going to offer much for you. I think, like @Reagan1010‌ mentioned, you should leave your RE with hope. I literally said to my husband "this guy is going to get us pregnant!" I just had such faith in him ... And still do.

chloebeth930 · December 2014

Unexplained IF is no fun. It is even worse almost when all your tests come back normal.

Maybe she is just wanting you to chart to confirm O and make sure you aren't missing your fertile window? Trying to take the least invasive route first.

I brought my charts into my RE at our first appointment (the last 2 months worth) so they can see that I do infact no how to chart, when my O day is, and that we were DTD during our fertile window.

If you aren't happy with your RE plan, try speaking up. Many times we have to be our own advocate. If your DH hasn't had a semen analysis you could always self refer that to an urologist to get done.

lilmac2929 · December 2014

I'm sorry

If you were clear you want to be aggressive, then that stinks. I am actually mad at mine for pushing me toward IVF without being more open to other causes (thyroid, endometriosis. etc).

I agree you have to advocate for yourself. And ask questions. I am high input. I trust the doctor but want to know what tests are for, why certain tests are not done, what possibilities for future courses of action could be etc. I am sure I am a pain in the butt but this is hard on us. It may be just routine to them but it is our journey and we need to know what is going on in their heads (at least in my view).

Millimeter · December 2014

I'm sorry. I would have been upset too if I were told to chart.

I'd try a different RE. My first month I had femara, trigger, and IUI. After 3 or 4 months, I pushed him more and I had surgery where he discovered I had stage 2 endometriosis.

I'm a proponent of it being a joint effort--not just going along with whatever the doctor says because he/she is a doctor. (I'm not saying you do that).

Good luck!

wreckitsmommy · January 2015

We went through 3 REs before we doing THE ONE. He has both DH and I do extensive testing from the start. My OB is also very proactive so that helped a bit as she had already asked me to complete most of the labs. I'd get a second opinion if you weren't feeling the RE. That's definitely someone you have to feel comfortable with.

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