There will be eight and a half years between DS and this baby. If someone offers to throw us a shower, fine. But I'm not expecting to have one. In my circle it is not unusual to have sprinkles for second and third and beyond babies. For us, it's about celebrating the baby, not an initiation to motherhood. But there are not registries for anything other than first.
This sounds nice! I would like to do something when baby arrives so that everyone can meet them but I don't want to seem like I'm trying to get presents so I'm holding off...trying to decide if there is some other event we can plan a party for shortly after baby arrives so they can make their debut lol
@brennazesquire LOL! OK, now I understand! In that case, maybe you should take your sister out to lunch and tell it to her straight. I gave it to my sister when I was pregnant with my DD and it worked out... She was trying to get me to go to some ridiculous picnic that I just could not do early in my 1st tri. I told her the truth and she backed off.
As for 30, lady, I turn FORTY next year! LOL! Thirty was awesomeness.
Once I was given a gift and the woman (who gave me the gift) said her only request was that I NOT send her a thank you note. This is a woman who is of the same generation as my grandmother (who will not let you REST until you send a detailed thank you note)... This woman said she understood that I would have a lot going on and didn't want to put yet another item on my to-do list and she also said that she gave out of a desire to bless me, not a desire to be recognized.
Granted, I absolutely don't think that people in general are giving gifts to be recognized, especially at showers, and thank you notes are not usually expected for the sake of being praised but just to show gratitude (hence the name) But that did stick with me and of every gift I received in that season of my life, that is the one I remember in the most detail.
So now I always give the same request when I give a gift, although sometimes people still write a thank you (and I appreciate that!)
I just liked the thought behind the woman's sentiment and I think it takes one tiny bit of pressure off the person who receives! Having said that, I always write thank you notes. Just because I don't expect them doesn't mean I don't think I should have to send them!
Anyway, that's just my thought.
Seriously? It's a note with like 3-4 sentences showing gratitude for gifts so graciously given to a recipient. It's not digging ditches. I would write a thank you note regardless. Edited for clarity
Once I was given a gift and the woman (who gave me the gift) said her only request was that I NOT send her a thank you note. This is a woman who is of the same generation as my grandmother (who will not let you REST until you send a detailed thank you note)... This woman said she understood that I would have a lot going on and didn't want to put yet another item on my to-do list and she also said that she gave out of a desire to bless me, not a desire to be recognized.
Granted, I absolutely don't think that people in general are giving gifts to be recognized, especially at showers, and thank you notes are not usually expected for the sake of being praised but just to show gratitude (hence the name) But that did stick with me and of every gift I received in that season of my life, that is the one I remember in the most detail.
So now I always give the same request when I give a gift, although sometimes people still write a thank you (and I appreciate that!)
I just liked the thought behind the woman's sentiment and I think it takes one tiny bit of pressure off the person who receives! Having said that, I always write thank you notes. Just because I don't expect them doesn't mean I don't think I should have to send them!
Anyway, that's just my thought.
Seriously? It's a note with like 3-4 sentences showing gratitude for gifts so graciously given to you. You're not digging ditches. I would write a thank you note regardless.
My mom invited about 40 people who I'm pretty sure I've never met before in my life to my bridal shower. I wrote out Thank You cards to all of them (99% of them I didn't even have a last name to use to track them down) and asked my mother to get me their names / contact information so I could send the cards out. She never did, and to this day there are 40people who think I am a jackass.
DEAR PEOPLE - IT WAS MY MOTHER. When I moved I found the box with all of the thank you cards in it and I actually sat down and cried because I was so mad about the whole thing still.
And if you think I'm exaggerating, one lady asked if I was excited for my sister's wedding, and one asked me, straight up, if I even knew who she was. (And not in a "haha do you remember me" kind of way, like "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM YOU YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPER GIFT GRABBER YOU??")
Once I was given a gift and the woman (who gave me the gift) said her only request was that I NOT send her a thank you note. This is a woman who is of the same generation as my grandmother (who will not let you REST until you send a detailed thank you note)... This woman said she understood that I would have a lot going on and didn't want to put yet another item on my to-do list and she also said that she gave out of a desire to bless me, not a desire to be recognized.
Granted, I absolutely don't think that people in general are giving gifts to be recognized, especially at showers, and thank you notes are not usually expected for the sake of being praised but just to show gratitude (hence the name) But that did stick with me and of every gift I received in that season of my life, that is the one I remember in the most detail.
So now I always give the same request when I give a gift, although sometimes people still write a thank you (and I appreciate that!)
I just liked the thought behind the woman's sentiment and I think it takes one tiny bit of pressure off the person who receives! Having said that, I always write thank you notes. Just because I don't expect them doesn't mean I don't think I should have to send them!
Anyway, that's just my thought.
Seriously? It's a note with like 3-4 sentences showing gratitude for gifts so graciously given to you. You're not digging ditch. I would write a thank you note regardless.
Quote fail*****************************
@ifaithlove clearly states that she always writes them, just doesn't expect them in return. Read it again.
She clearly states that someone said not to write a thank you note for her because she "didn't want to put another item on her to do list". I was clearly addressing this part of the post and the absurdity of a thank you note being such a burden to some. The "you" was generalized and not directed at her specifically.
Once I was given a gift and the woman (who gave me the gift) said her only request was that I NOT send her a thank you note. This is a woman who is of the same generation as my grandmother (who will not let you REST until you send a detailed thank you note)... This woman said she understood that I would have a lot going on and didn't want to put yet another item on my to-do list and she also said that she gave out of a desire to bless me, not a desire to be recognized.
Granted, I absolutely don't think that people in general are giving gifts to be recognized, especially at showers, and thank you notes are not usually expected for the sake of being praised but just to show gratitude (hence the name) But that did stick with me and of every gift I received in that season of my life, that is the one I remember in the most detail.
So now I always give the same request when I give a gift, although sometimes people still write a thank you (and I appreciate that!)
I just liked the thought behind the woman's sentiment and I think it takes one tiny bit of pressure off the person who receives! Having said that, I always write thank you notes. Just because I don't expect them doesn't mean I don't think I should have to send them!
Anyway, that's just my thought.
Seriously? It's a note with like 3-4 sentences showing gratitude for gifts so graciously given to you. You're not digging ditch. I would write a thank you note regardless.
Quote fail*****************************
@ifaithlove clearly states that she always writes them, just doesn't expect them in return. Read it again.
She clearly states that someone said not to write a thank you note for her because she "didn't want to put another item on her to do list". I was clearly addressing this part of the post and the absurdity of a thank you note being such a burden to some. The "you" was generalized and not directed at her specifically.
Then maybe it is you that is not "clear" enough.
Well if you looked you'd have seen I edited for clarity. Read again. Honestly, your previous post was unnecessary. I didn't flame OP. I stated my opinion so chill.
I actually agree with @carolyngrace on the thank you note thing. I think the societal pressure is over the top. I've had conversations with several friends and family about this and have come to one conclusion. My parents generation+ seem to care about them. My generation and under generally don't care. Majority of my friends straight up told me, don't worry about writing me one and since then I've said the same to any shower or birthday or whatever I have gone to.
I always here the reason that it's so personal and meaningful. What I find though is that people come up with a few sentences for the majority of their notes and just sub in the item for each one. It's not personal and meaningful, it's simply an obligation.
And yes, I sent thank you notes (although my baby shower ones took forever since it didn't happen until after my preemie dd was born and I was a little preoccupied with the whole having a preemie thing).
I haven't finished reading through this train wreck of a thread yet, but I can't let this go. I wrote my thank-you notes while pumping for my preemie in the NICU. Having a preemie does not make you a special snowflake with no responsibility to be polite.
ETA: I do realize you said you did them. The idea that having a preemie gives anyone an excuse to be lax with their thank-yous rubbed me the wrong way. I apologize if my post came off more harsh than I intended.
People!!! Thank you notes are a must! Even if it takes you awhile - you need to do it! Someone spent time planing for the gift, shopping for it, wrapping it, giving it to you - and you can't spend two minutes writing them a thank you!? This also goes for your child's birthday parties - even if they can't write you still need to do a thank you! I disagree that thank yous are something only our grandparents care about. It is common good ettiquete!
I was really hesitant to have one because of the "etiquette" thing. That said, my family and friends and co-workers were so excited to throw one. They made the point that this baby was as special as the first, even if he came along later. So we compromised and did two sip-and-sees and I made it clear that presents were not expected. It worked out really nicely.
Now for my third, I am really really hesitant to have one. Not only because my co-workers have now held a wedding shower and two baby showers for me, but because I was looking online the other night and I don't really need anything new. My close friends still want to at least take me out because they love me but if we do anything, it will be a sip-and-see and strongly discourage anything but books.
You guys seem to think because I'm making a registry I'm just expecting free things to be given to me....like I'm some kind of loser who can't provide for my child? Seriously WTF?
So I'm not allowed to have a registry to save items to that I may want to buy for MYSELF or if my FAMILY asks if there is something I need?
I never said I was throwing a shower for myself or expecting anything....I said the gals at work MIGHT throw me one. Jesus remove stick from ass then talk.
You guys seem to think because I'm making a registry I'm just expecting free things to be given to me....like I'm some kind of loser who can't provide for my child? Seriously WTF?
So I'm not allowed to have a registry to save items to that I may want to buy for MYSELF or if my FAMILY asks if there is something I need?
I never said I was throwing a shower for myself or expecting anything....I said the gals at work MIGHT throw me one. Jesus remove stick from ass then talk.
I really don't get why people are getting on everyone for having second showers when their kids are far apart and someone is offering to throw one. And of course you would register if someone is offering to throw you a shower! I'm sure the women at work and your family (and maybe even some of your friends) are excited for you and want to get you something you need.
I never had a shower for my first child because I was young and dumb and she came 6 weeks early. Now I will have my 2nd 8 years later and am looking forward to having a baby shower. I have been to quite a few in the last year and they are super fun. Also plenty of my friend's had one for baby #2. I wouldn't worry about having another one if people don't like it they won't come!
I always thought that anything after the first was tacky. MAYBE something small for close fiends and family but nothing formal. The circle I'm in now does a full on shower for pregnancies even after the first. I don't mind so long as they are appreciative and send a thank you. I know one is in the works for me because my best friend mentioned being excited about doing another. I would probably skip it, but I think she would be hurt and our friends would feel like I judged them for having them too. I do of course appreciate their kindness and joyful feelings about it.
Not expecting for someone to throw me one at all but if they surprise you with one then it's not your fault. People here in Miami can give 3 f's about baby showers whether you make them yourself or not. But no, it's not right to have a second one.
Re: baby shower for a second child?
Seriously? It's a note with like 3-4 sentences showing gratitude for gifts so graciously given to a recipient. It's not digging ditches.
I would write a thank you note regardless.
Edited for clarity
DEAR PEOPLE - IT WAS MY MOTHER. When I moved I found the box with all of the thank you cards in it and I actually sat down and cried because I was so mad about the whole thing still.
And if you think I'm exaggerating, one lady asked if I was excited for my sister's wedding, and one asked me, straight up, if I even knew who she was. (And not in a "haha do you remember me" kind of way, like "DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO I AM YOU YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPER GIFT GRABBER YOU??")
She clearly states that someone said not to write a thank you note for her because she "didn't want to put another item on her to do list". I was clearly addressing this part of the post and the absurdity of a thank you note being such a burden to some. The "you" was generalized and not directed at her specifically.
Well if you looked you'd have seen I edited for clarity. Read again.
Honestly, your previous post was unnecessary. I didn't flame OP. I stated my opinion so chill.
ETA: I do realize you said you did them. The idea that having a preemie gives anyone an excuse to be lax with their thank-yous rubbed me the wrong way. I apologize if my post came off more harsh than I intended.
The circle I'm in now does a full on shower for pregnancies even after the first. I don't mind so long as they are appreciative and send a thank you.
I know one is in the works for me because my best friend mentioned being excited about doing another. I would probably skip it, but I think she would be hurt and our friends would feel like I judged them for having them too. I do of course appreciate their kindness and joyful feelings about it.