Parenting Check-In (12/8)

Jazibel · December 2014

Happy Monday Everyone!

How was your weekend?

Any new milestones, challenges or successes to report?

QOTD: How to you get anything done? What has shifted in your priorities? Any tips? Any goals?

Parenting Roster:

(Please let me know if you would like to be added)

@2brides – G & C born 5/18/06, other Mom is L

@Themommymonster – C (DS) born 2/18/09

@Mystjava – Little Bear (LB) born 3/31/10, other Mummum is Shawn

@winstan1 – J (DS) born 9/10 (currently 3.5 years old)

@Trisholio and @trisholiosboi – Proud foster parents to M born 2/6/12 and K born 8/22/13; baby Adalyn born 8/29/14

@jazibel – Kaden born 7/13/12 and Owen born 5/2/14, other parent (Aya) is EV

@newmompeanut – N (DD) born 2/12/13, other Momma is B

@CageyMack – W born 3/16/13

@JGY – Gabe born 3/24/13, other Mama is S.

@Stringy813 – M born May 2013

@Clairmeij – Alarico born 6/28/13, other mama is V

@Wallace323 – J and L born 8/8/13, surviving triplets born at 31 weeks

@Jrtmom – Henry born 8/15/13, other mama is L

@ATXmommas – Sebastian (“Ash”) born 11/21/13, other Momma is Z

@mwagner25 – Oliver born 11/27/13, other parent is L

@herbabymama‌ – C (DD) born 12/10/13, other Mama is K

@Sarahtrpt – C born February 2014

@AmandaG47 – Twin girls born 2/22/14, other Mommy is J

@Mamosey‌ & @Karlamo‌ – R born 2/25/14

@shameless370087‌ - Anthony and Sati, born 3/9/2014, Other mom is S

@Filmfanatic82 – Charley born 3/15/14

@2momsinCA‌ - B & O born 5/27/14

@KH826 – Will born 6/4/14

@redrockmama – M born 6/19/14, other Mama is J

@ball.and.chain – B born 6/28/14

@Flygirl1228 – Twins 7/25/14

@KLeigh1‌ - S born 7/25/14

@shelly2314 - Elise and Olivia, born 8/19/14, wife is M

@2MamazInSeattle‌ - S born 8/21/14

@rkbo‌ - Amelia born 9/22/14

@pauljl - Callie born 11/5/14

Jazibel · December 2014

Morning :-)

I'm sitting watching the clouds turn pink through the trees out the playroom patio doors. Kaden is playing with the activity center near me. "Choo Choo, weeeee.. Can't fall down. (to the little figurines)." He's using full sentences now more and more, it's like having a person around. Not that he wasn't a person before - but having a conversation with your kid where they "respond" is so cool. I love to hear his thoughts.

We had a great weekend overall. My wife is done with school officially. She'll graduates this month with her masters, and a 3.8 GPA from a really good school. She was a gifted student when younger - but had all of life's odds against her in her family life. I'm proud of what she's accomplished on her own despite those odds. PLUS. I am sooooo excited to have my wife back.

Now we have two whole weeks off together!!!

This weekend EV's grandparents, aunt and cousin came to visit. I love her Grandparents, they are just so sweet and kind. And they love the boys so much. Kaden was super high energy but did great aside from biting me in the shoulder when they arrived (he was overwhelmed and we notice his bad behavior happens more during times like that). Owen was just a sweetheart. Our cousin J is almost 13 years old and loooves babies, so she played with the boys when the rest of us needed a break. I wish I had a teenager - Gosh I'm old enough to have had one.... Poor planning on my part.

Challenges - Kaden's behavior. We started doing a Cooperation board with magnets that we review at the end of the day. He gets full points in all categories (using his words, helping with bedtime, bath time, helping mom) except "Being nice". We still have outbursts of hitting, very occasional scratching or biting. The worst day was at an indoor play place we met our friend and her 3 month old at last week. He had 2-3 minor altercations there. Now to be fair the place was full of toddlers and there was a screaming altercation between 2 or more toddlers every 10-15 minutes, it's just that age. Still I hate to see this behavior in my own kid. At one point (with seemingly no provocation) he slapped a little girl who was 12-18 months in the face. Obviously not hard but she started crying and I stepped in. Sigh. We went to apologize after a time out with me. Things I am trying to notice are triggers: over stimulation, being tired, being hungry, not using words, or having words. Solutions, more healthy proteins, plenty of water, not being out during nap time, taking "quieter breaks" when in overstimulating environments.

Owen has his first tooth coming through. I can feel the sharp edge. Yay! We're doing solids still at least 1x a day. He's not that interested. Kaden was getting solids a couple times a day or more at this age (I had gone back to work and the solids helped stretch what I could pump). Anyway he ate voraciously. Owen could care less really. He spits, drools out even apple sauce or mashed yams/banana. Oh well.

Sleep has been better, last night was a little rough but I attribute that to teething.

I bought Kaden an art/ drawing set and he loves to sit and draw now and show me his animals or letters. Big grin! I was afraid he'd never want to do art projects (one of the main reasons I had kids after all!) LOL just kidding!

QOTD: I am definitely struggling to keep up with my to do list. My house is pretty clean right now because I had company yesterday and deep cleaned. I used to be a neat freak. But dusting all the shelves, washing the glass and even cleaning the bathrooms isn't really a priority lately. I feel like a different person sometimes by how much I'm willing to let slide. Bills and personal business I prioritize in order of importance of due date. I try to automate as much as possible, and keep things in a prominent place so I don't forget. For my catering company, I have to be really proactive and carve out time during naps and at night right now. I am also trying to build a babysitting co-op community with other stay-at-home parents. I'm also looking into pre-schools or babysitters so when I step over the line and start earning enough money to warrant it I can have the childcare I need. Ummmmmm lost my train of thought and Kaden wants a "sandwich" so I guess I'll pop back over later. :-)

Jazibel · December 2014

@Stringy813 - How scary!!! I hope M continues to feel better and I hope your day improves :-)

@sarahtrpt - That sucks about your employer! It's unbelievable that employers, can and chose to discriminate in these ways. As if it makes very much difference in their overall workload/expense. I had an issue with a former employer as well. I hope they get on board soon.

Karlamo · December 2014

I'm back to the land of the living so I'll report in.

I'll start with positives: R has learned to wave. It is super cute and totally uncordinated but I'll take it. He is also crawling on all 4's. Not all the time but he's doing it more and more which is making me less neurotic about his develpment. He still prefers to army crawl all over the house but at least he won't go from army crawling to walking.

The downside is sleep. Or lack there of. We are still sleep training and it's going as bad as it could possibly go. We are doing a combo of our sleep plan plus crying for timed intervals. The kid just want to be in bed with us. Just to paint you a picture of our nightmare. This is what last night looked like:

Bed at 7pm, cried till 7:45

woke at 10:23, cried till 11:45

woke at 1am, nursed, back in crib, cried till.....gods knows until when, we fell alseep thru his crying that's how exhausted we are.

woke at 3:45 and cried and finally gave up and brought in bed with us.

woke at 6:30am. Drank gallons of coffee

The wake up's wouldn't be so bad if we had 3-4 hour stretches of sleep inbetween them. We feel like we are in newborn hell but with less patience for him. Last night I sat by his crib soothing him and just cried. I dread going to my in laws for Christmas and hearing any advice. I only want to hear stories from people who have been in the trenches and lived to tell about it

:P

@stringy813, I'm giving you a big hug and a shoulder to cry on. I feel like we're twins with TTC #2 and a kid that won't sleep. We have emailed our sleep lady 5 times already. Some at 1am with a WTF, this isn't working! I think her plan for us would have been great 3 months ago but now we are at the end of our rope and being gentle just isn't working for us. Please pm me anytime you need to vent. I get it. I wish I didn't, but sadly I do.

@sarahtrpt, that's terrible!

@jazibel, Owen has a toof, YAY!

ball.and.chain · December 2014

B is 5m old.

Big news of the week for us is that we've made great headway with sleep training. We started Monday night with the Ferber "progressive waiting" schedule. It took him 40-45m of crying but then he fell asleep for a good chunk of the night. Tuesday he cried for 30 minutes. Wednesday he didn't cry at all but I think it was a fluke and he may have actually been partly asleep when we put him down. Thursday -- 20 minutes. Friday and Saturday, less than 10. Last night he cried for about a minute. We've also been putting him down in his crib for naps on the days we have him at home, and for the most part that has been going well too. The non-Ferber sleep training book I read said it's OK to go back to your pre-sleep training routine (in our case, B in our bed) when/if he wakes in the MOTN, since he's learning the self-soothing skill at bedtime and will eventually use it in the MOTN. Ferber tells you to do the CIO/progressive-waiting routine again. So we started with putting him in our bed for the second half of the night and then mid-week started putting him back in his crib. Half the time I don't think he even completely wakes up while he's drinking his bottle, so it's usually no trouble to put him back down.

Anyway, he's getting so much more sleep now and it's been great for all of us -- him because he needed it and it's healthier and us because we have free time to get things done! Since he would only sleep in our arms before, he was only getting little 30-60 minutes cat naps several times throughout the day and maybe 7-8 hours at night. Inevitably whoever was holding him would have to pee or eat or get the door or whatever and he would wake up. Even if the total amount of sleep in a day was enough (which I doubt), it was interrupted. Now he will take two naps a day at 1.5-2 hours each and last night he slept for 11 hours with one wake-up for a bottle. And we feel so free in the evenings after he goes to bed -- oh, the laundry we fold!

Transitioning him to the crib was our goal; STTN is not as important since he only wakes once and I think it will come with time as he learns to self-soothe. I do think he needs to be eating more during the day if he's going to STTN, so we've been offering him 5oz bottles, but he doesn't finish them most of the time...instead he just asks for them more frequently. Oh well.

I read somewhere that babies don't develop as quickly if they aren't getting enough sleep, and I have to say that he seems to have figured out so much just in the last week -- how to get his feet in his mouth, how to suck his thumb, better rolling skills, closer to sitting unassisted, and more stamina when he is playing (he'll play longer without getting tired). He's giggling a lot which kills me. So. Stinking. Cute.

QOTW: Well, having a child who will nap unassisted and go to bed on his own has made a huge difference -- right now we are enjoying that and we feel super productive! But I guess our main strategies are to try not to get too far behind on certain things -- like we used to leave dishes in the sink at night and say we'd do them tomorrow, but now that tends to snowball fast and then next thing you know we don't have any clean bottles. So we've gotten better about recognizing that staying up 10 minutes later to do the dishes is worth it, even if you're exhausted and really want to go to bed. I've also gotten smarter about using small bits of time -- like the 3 minutes and 50 seconds it takes for his bottle to warm in the middle of the night, I will use that time to load/unload the dishwasher or throw laundry in the dryer (S is usually changing his diaper at that time). It's surprising how much you can actually get done in under 4 minutes! That said, our house is far from immaculate and some things just take a while to get done. I try to be OK with it.

KH826 · December 2014

Will is 6 months old! That’s so crazy!

This weekend was good, but super busy. Saturday we went and did a huge Target trip to a new Super Target about 40 mins from our house. We stocked up on a lot of things, and also used several coupons that were about to expire. We saved $70 off our total with paper coupons and the coupons I had in my Cartwheel app! Yay! Anyway… we did that, we took more of Will’s 25 days of Christmas photos, I did some cleaning, we fed Will some more solids (more on that below!), then we needed bath time HAHA…. Sunday we went to Brunch with Santa with my in-laws. It was fun and we got some good pics. I am attaching a couple here since I have other material to use on PIP Thursday J … After brunch we went back to hang out at my in-laws’ house for a bit, then we went over to J’s aunt’s house because she wanted to see Will and she said she had a gift for him she wanted to give us. After that we had an hour drive home, so we didn’t get home until 5:30pm – another full day!

So, here’s what is new:

SOLIDS! Will has had banana twice, as well as a spinach and pear puree. He loved both, and actually ate a considerable amount each time. We weren’t planning to do purees, but we didn’t have any more bananas, and on a whim we decided to try offering him something else and we just sort of improvised with what we had. I think at least initially we might do a hybrid of BLW and purees for a little while. Partly to get our feet wet with things, and partly b/c life is sooooo crazy right now, and things that are easy and less stressful just have to be a consideration. I am also attaching a PIP of Will with his first banana and the ½ Bday candle that we put in it!

Sleep – so, on Friday night, we transitioned Will from his lounger (like the RNP) to the Graco mini crib in our room. He did great! He slept 11 hrs and 10.5 hrs his first two nights in the mini crib. Last night was a little bit harder, but I think it was totally our fault for two reasons… #1 the boy didn’t nap at all yesterday. He fought his nap and we overscheduled and went from one event to another and he was overstimulated, and we never took some quiet time to make a nap a priority. He was great all day, and we just went with it. We should have known. He was a puddle by 8pm last night. He had a hard time going down (took about 30 mins and lots of rocking… usually he just goes down while still awake and sucks his thumb and goes to sleep)…. Then at 3am this morning, he was moving around and seemed restless (which happens from time to time, and we just let him sooth himself back to sleep, he never cries)… well he let out one tiny little cry (more of a whine really), and my wife jumped up and crabbed him out of the crib. I wanted to scream “Noooooooooooooo” in slow motion. I still don’t know why she did it. Well, funny story, then he thought it was play time and didn’t want to go back down. She took him to the play room and rocked him for about 35 mins and came back with him asleep and then put him back down and he slept until 8am! He needed it! Anyway… we are going to have a little chat about not hopping up if he lets out a quick fuss. I mean, neither of us want to CIO, but it has never even been an issue. I just don’t want to teach Will that he can get up and plan in the middle of the night if he lets out a whimper. He has been a kick butt self-soother since 6 wks, and I don’t want to mess with that!

With all of the above being said about sleep, I am not sleeping. Like at all. Having Will in the new crib is making me a total nut case. There are new noises and he seems a bit more restless (I think it is him getting used to a new space and the fact that he suddenly has a lot more room to move around at night)… and I am just a paranoid nutcase that now that he can move around he is suddenly at risk of suffocation. He is not at any more risk of anything in this mini crib than he was in his lounger. He is 6 months old, it is normal for him to squirm around and roll, etc. when he sleeps. There is nothing in the mini crib with him. He is fine. But I just lay there thinking about him and worry. It is likely going to take me a little time to get used to the new bed and know that he will be OK and then I will relax more. Until then, I am up every hour listening for him, fretting, tossing and turning… while my boy gets 10+ hours of beauty sleep! Ugh! I am not complaining, I know it could be soooooooo much worse, and this is totally a “me problem,” but just sharing my neuroses among friends!

A few other highlights… his new favorite thing is a little Santa that we have that plays the saxophone. He is obsessed with it. He could sit in front of it and watch Santa play the sax for hours… He loves opening his Christmas books at night before bed. He isn’t as big of a fan of sitting still while we read the books, but he loves ripping the paper off to open the books. Christmas is going to be so much fun! … he rolled over to the dog’s bowl on Friday and got himself a big handful of dog food. J got there just in time before he put any in his mouth. Didn’t I say we were going to move those bowls?!?! … Still rocking back and forth with a bit of scooting, but mostly rolling from one end of the room to another… He has a new tickle spot under his neck on the left side. He will belly laugh like crazy if you tickle him there!... Still loving bath time in a big way. Splashing is his favorite… I know I am forgetting things…

We currently have a bet going about how much he weighs. He is a BIG boy. His pedi appointment is on Thursday afternoon. I am thinking 21 lbs. I know, he is as big of some of his 1 yr old buddies on here. I will update after his appointment on Thursday!

I just need to gush for a minute… I just love this child so freakin much. He is the happiest, sweetest, dreamiest little baby love I could have imagined. Seriously. He is amazing. My wife and I say that to each other several times a day. I just couldn’t love him more. And I couldn’t love being a mom more. It is just amazing. I know we will likely have difficult and challenging phases ahead (and maybe our next kid will be a terror – gosh I hope not!)… but honestly, parenting is such a joy for us. That is not to say that life is all rainbows and unicorns. It’s not. There is plenty about life that still feels hard. But being Will’s mom is not one of those things right now. I just can’t get enough of this kid. I referred to it as the baby honeymoon period a couple of months ago. I can tell you that at the 6 month mark, we are still in that honeymoon stage.

QOTW: Welllll……. We don’t get a lot done. We are behind on a lot of things. Laundry gets done and folded, but then it just sits in laundry baskets and never put away…. I haven’t done a deep clean of our bathroom in an embarrassingly long time. I just keep doing a quick surface clean to “get by” … Christmas shopping? Eh… whatever, Amazon can do it. We have prime shipping!.... My house looks like a tornado hit a lot. My organization level has gone from A+ to B-. Cooking has taken a backseat 50% of the time. Oh well. Life is short, and we are so busy, and honestly, being a crazy lady about all those things that used to matter so much, is just not at the top of my list anymore. I am thinking of paying someone to do a deep clean of my house as a Christmas present to myself. I have also decided that for the rest of December I will cook 1 or 2 nights a week out of 7, and the rest is salads, soup and the occasional take-out. I officially don’t care right now. If our boy is fed, bathed, happy, played with, read to, etc…. the rest if just gravy right now.
OK - here are the pics I mentioned... Santa & Bananas!

Karlamo · December 2014

Ugh, I always forget the QOTW, #sleepdeprived

We're "doers". Hell, we put our house up for sell/moved when we had a 2 month old with colic.

In terms of running our household, for meals we plan a menu every week and whoever gets home first makes the meal for that day. Cleaning is done on a regular basis, though we have sub contracted this one out when we needed/wanted. We also wear R all the time which allows us to do a lot of our chores. There have been times when I've made dinner with R strapped to me, nursing. Things don't always get done on time but they get done some how.

ball.and.chain · December 2014

Sooo I typed my post before I read @stringy813's or @karlamo's and now I feel bad. I didn't mean to come across all "Neener neener, my kid is sleeping GREAT" when I know that others are struggling so much! I am really proud of B for taking so well to sleep training and I am proud of us for sticking to it, but I acknowledge that every kid is different -- we are not dealing with the same set of issues M or R has and I certainly hope I haven't given the impression that it should be this easy for everyone to accomplish. I think it helps that B is not nursing, for one thing. I can't imagine how upsetting it must be for R to go from the two-boob Breastaurant to his crib all of a sudden! And while I wouldn't advocate weaning from the breast just for sleep, it certainly does give us a leg up.

I feel for both of you. Especially since I'm sure it felt like the sleep consultant was going to solve (or help solve) your problems and it seems like that hasn't been the case. I remember how I felt when B was a newborn and I couldn't get him to sleep with any regularity -- part of it was him being a newborn and part of it was that I just didn't know how to get him to sleep yet. I felt totally hopeless and I hadn't been sleep-deprived for 9, 10, 12+ months like you have. So I am sending out hugs and sympathy and good sleep vibes for both your kiddos. I hope something clicks soon!

Karlamo · December 2014

ball.and.chain said:

Sooo I typed my post before I read @stringy813's or @karlamo's and now I feel bad. I didn't mean to come across all "Neener neener, my kid is sleeping GREAT" when I know that others are struggling so much! I am really proud of B for taking so well to sleep training and I am proud of us for sticking to it, but I acknowledge that every kid is different -- we are not dealing with the same set of issues M or R has and I certainly hope I haven't given the impression that it should be this easy for everyone to accomplish. I think it helps that B is not nursing, for one thing. I can't imagine how upsetting it must be for R to go from the two-boob Breastaurant to his crib all of a sudden! And while I wouldn't advocate weaning from the breast just for sleep, it certainly does give us a leg up. I feel for both of you. Especially since I'm sure it felt like the sleep consultant was going to solve (or help solve) your problems and it seems like that hasn't been the case. I remember how I felt when B was a newborn and I couldn't get him to sleep with any regularity -- part of it was him being a newborn and part of it was that I just didn't know how to get him to sleep yet. I felt totally hopeless and I hadn't been sleep-deprived for 9, 10, 12+ months like you have. So I am sending out hugs and sympathy and good sleep vibes for both your kiddos. I hope something clicks soon!

Thank you for being so considerate. One of these days I'll get to be the one to post how great their kid slept. Of course you all will probably have 8 year olds by then!

BTW, I think R is Ferber proof! Dr. Ferber may have met his match. Maybe I should schedule an appt at his sleep clinic.

Karlamo · December 2014

stringy813 said:

oh hey @karlamo YGPM too

back at ya!

JGY · December 2014

So I'm not ready to write an update, but I had this kind of off-the-wall thought for @karlamo and @stringy813 ...

Our journey through our sleep plan and sleep training was not quick, nor was it a walk in park (as I'm sure you all know, having been bored to sleep yourselves reading my endless posts about sleep deprivation). But I kind of had an odd ace-in-the-hole, that I think you guys don't have. S had NEVER been invovled in putting G to sleep. Nighttime was purely my domain including both bedtime, and any overnight wakings. G and I had developed these habits and rituals together and that made them almost doubly hard to break. It seemed like we only started to make some progress when we shook things up a bit and changed his expectations. Left alone to try to alter habits, I would have failed miserably. But when we instituted a changing of the guard (I would nurse and rock him until drowsy, but then instead of me putting him down I would hand him off to S and she would put him down), all bets were off for him. It wasn't magic, and it wasn't instant, but he didn't have all this established stuff to rely on since I wasn't there, so he learned some new self-soothing techniques and eventually new patterns were formed.

Now I realize that you guys don't have this options because (honestly, I'm a bit jealous of this) you both have partners who are equally active in the going-to-bed process. But I'm wondering if you perhaps have a trusted (and Saintly) family member or friend who could offer you an hour or two every evening for a week? Maybe I'm talking crazy. I know that we don't have this kind of support, with no family close, but I thought I'd throw it out there in case you do.

Lastly, our Sleep Plan really hinged on this changing of the guard. And they were careful to stress that once the new routine had been successfully implemented, it would be critical for me to return to the role of bedtime person to reinforce that these new rules were here to stay.

Anyway, you know that I am there with you in spirit and in (recent) memory. Just thought I'd throw my craziness around a bit today, I blame it on my fever.

KH826 · December 2014

@Stringy813 - I am so sorry that M has been sick - it is always scary, especially when it is ER worthy. I hope she is 100% ASAP!

@Sarahtrpt - Ugh! That upsets me so much about your wife's employer. Please keep us posted on how this shakes out...

@Jazibel - Yay for EV being done with school! And yay for 2 weeks of family time!

@Karlamo - I am so sorry about sleep... all I can say is that you deserve some kind of an award for functioning as well as you do. Seriously.

Also, in terms of sleep, I echo @ball.and.chain's comments... I too hope that something clicks soon for those with sleepless nights.

Speaking of @ball.and.chain - yay B!!!! Gold star for Mr. Baby!

@Jrtmom - yuck for a rough weekend! Let's hope that Henry emerges from this wonder week ASAP and gives his moms a little reprieve!

@KLeigh1 - When is your next pedi appointment for S? Any idea on how much she weighs? Will is mostly in 9 month and 12 month stuff too. The 9 month jeans he wore yesterday will be a final wear - too tight! A lot of his jammies are 12 months now! I think we will be transitioning to the convertible carseat as well come January!

@Flygirl1228 - Go Weston! Hopefully he does it again and you can capture it on video!

ATXmommas · December 2014

Ash is one year old.

We had a busy and challenging week! First things first, Ash's birthday was on 11/21, but he just had his one year well check last Tuesday. I can't remember if I updated here last week, so forgive me if I did, but he weighed in at 21lb, 3oz and 29 inches long. He received 3 vaccines. He cried, but was comforted by nursing afterwards. All in all, a good visit. I have several things I want to update about and this may not all be linear, so bear with me!

First, I'll tackle what we discussed at the appointment. Regarding sleep - Ash is still waking twice a night. Z takes the first shift and rocks him back to sleep without feeding him. I take the second shift and nurse him back to sleep. I mentioned last week (or the week before?) that I was interested in night weaning, but my one attempt was an absolute nightmare and a complete failure. The pediatrician told me that about 10% of babies Ash's age still wake to eat at night (we're just lucky!) and that I should (I'm not sure if she said "should" or "can" or some other verb) continue to nurse him at night until 15-months-ish, at which point most babies will self-regulate and not need to eat at night. So, I decided to postpone night weaning until at least that point. The discussion made me feel better about our current routine and didn't leave me with the impression that we had enabled any bad, difficult to break habits. So, status quo for now.

I think @2MamazinSeattle asked me recently about giving Ash soy milk and whether there were any concerns of giving too much soy. I pressed the doctor about it a little because I've wondered that as well. She basically spouted out some stuff about various studies, but what I took from it is that soy milk is recommended to vegan babies due to the higher protein content. I still think that's a bit ridiculous because Ash gets protein through other sources, but at the same time he is only drinking soy milk 1-2 times a day right now. Once he starts to cut out more BF-ing sessions, then I might do some combo of soy and almond or coconut milk.

Why this past week was challenging - I received a call from Ash's daycare on Tuesday afternoon (he received his vaccines this morning) and they told me he was running a fever and not acting like himself. I was a little bit annoyed because I thought he was just running a temp from the shots, even though the pediatrician told me that with this particular set of shots, the fever usually occurs 7-12 days later. So, I leave work to pick him up and he ran a fever all night. Poor thing had a really rough night and ended up in bed with us. He was fever-free in the morning and seemed happy, so I sent him to day care. They called in the afternoon and told me he had a fever again. So, same thing happened that night (and the next…). I took him back to the doctor's office on Thursday morning and turns out he had a viral infection and the fever had nothing to do with the shots. I stayed home with him Thursday and Friday. Finally by Friday afternoon he seemed to kick the fever and remain in good spirits the rest of the weekend.

About my few days home with him and my attempt to stop pumping at work - Last Monday was my first day of no pumping at work. My right boob was hard as a rock by the time I got home and I immediately had to nurse him even though I normally don't nurse him until after dinner these days. Then, with him being sick these last few days, he nursed A LOT. I was/am a bit worried about not pumping all day, so I brought my pump along. I'm going to try and make it through the day… We'll see how it goes.

And now, just a random story. So, we bought our Christmas tree on Saturday with intentions to have an evening of family decorating fun & photo op on Sunday night. I bought Ash some super cute holiday PJs and had envisioned a lovely evening playing Christmas music and decorating the tree. Z and Ash got out in the afternoon so that I could put the lights on in peace. I even baked cookies while they were gone! Once they arrived home, we ate dinner and set out to decorate the tree. And, it was just crazy town. Our tree is just a hodge podge of miscellaneous ornaments with a bunch of classic round ornaments. I bought a set of shatterproof ornaments several years ago in anticipation of having a little one in the house. We put those on the tree first. Ash dove straight into the box with those ornaments and proceeded to throw them all about, which I really didn't stop, because shatterproof. He ended up getting ahold of two shatterable ornaments, which ended up shattered. We tried to get sweet family photos of us decorating the tree and it just wasn't happening. This kid does not sit still and does not pose on command. Argh! I mean, it was still a lovely evening, and Ash looked cute as a bug and entertained us to no end… it just wasn't picturesque (is Pinterest ruining us all?). Then, this morning, this happened. Organically. No attempts to pose. Just perfection.

A
QOTW: Jeez. Well, we do have a housecleaner who comes once every 2 weeks. I am very tempted to splurge and have her come once a week, but I really don't think that's in the cards. Even though she comes every two weeks, the house gets to be quite the mess in the meantime. We partially get things done by dividing and conquering. Ash is at the stage where he is busy, busy, but doesn't stay entertained by toys for long periods of time. He'll play independently for a bit, but then want one his mommas. I've learned to do all sorts of things one-handed and my left bicep is probably twice the size as my right by now. On the other hand, I'm still trying to be okay with a little bit of mess. My biggest stress are the hardwood floors. We have dark hardwood and three pets who shed like crazy. I can sweep and it be covered in hair 10 minutes later. I'm SERIOUSLY considering investing in the $700 roomba. Does anyone have any experience with one? I feel like if I came home to clean floors, it would be such a relief to me. May seem small, but it may do wonders for my sanity.

Karlamo · December 2014

JGY said:

So I'm not ready to write an update, but I had this kind of off-the-wall thought for @karlamo and @stringy813 ...
Our journey through our sleep plan and sleep training was not quick, nor was it a walk in park (as I'm sure you all know, having been bored to sleep yourselves reading my endless posts about sleep deprivation). But I kind of had an odd ace-in-the-hole, that I think you guys don't have. S had NEVER been invovled in putting G to sleep. Nighttime was purely my domain including both bedtime, and any overnight wakings. G and I had developed these habits and rituals together and that made them almost doubly hard to break. It seemed like we only started to make some progress when we shook things up a bit and changed his expectations. Left alone to try to alter habits, I would have failed miserably. But when we instituted a changing of the guard (I would nurse and rock him until drowsy, but then instead of me putting him down I would hand him off to S and she would put him down), all bets were off for him. It wasn't magic, and it wasn't instant, but he didn't have all this established stuff to rely on since I wasn't there, so he learned some new self-soothing techniques and eventually new patterns were formed.
Now I realize that you guys don't have this options because (honestly, I'm a bit jealous of this) you both have partners who are equally active in the going-to-bed process. But I'm wondering if you perhaps have a trusted (and Saintly) family member or friend who could offer you an hour or two every evening for a week? Maybe I'm talking crazy. I know that we don't have this kind of support, with no family close, but I thought I'd throw it out there in case you do.
Lastly, our Sleep Plan really hinged on this changing of the guard. And they were careful to stress that once the new routine had been successfully implemented, it would be critical for me to return to the role of bedtime person to reinforce that these new rules were here to stay.
Anyway, you know that I am there with you in spirit and in (recent) memory. Just thought I'd throw my craziness around a bit today, I blame it on my fever.

Thanks! I know you've BTDT and your sucess is what gives me hope that things can change no matter how bad they seem. I think my facebook post should read "sleep is for the weak!"

BTW, a fever?? Like your immune system is lowered cause there's a baby in there???

[-O<

KH826 · December 2014

Karlamo said:

JGY said:

So I'm not ready to write an update, but I had this kind of off-the-wall thought for @karlamo and @stringy813 ...
Our journey through our sleep plan and sleep training was not quick, nor was it a walk in park (as I'm sure you all know, having been bored to sleep yourselves reading my endless posts about sleep deprivation). But I kind of had an odd ace-in-the-hole, that I think you guys don't have. S had NEVER been invovled in putting G to sleep. Nighttime was purely my domain including both bedtime, and any overnight wakings. G and I had developed these habits and rituals together and that made them almost doubly hard to break. It seemed like we only started to make some progress when we shook things up a bit and changed his expectations. Left alone to try to alter habits, I would have failed miserably. But when we instituted a changing of the guard (I would nurse and rock him until drowsy, but then instead of me putting him down I would hand him off to S and she would put him down), all bets were off for him. It wasn't magic, and it wasn't instant, but he didn't have all this established stuff to rely on since I wasn't there, so he learned some new self-soothing techniques and eventually new patterns were formed.
Now I realize that you guys don't have this options because (honestly, I'm a bit jealous of this) you both have partners who are equally active in the going-to-bed process. But I'm wondering if you perhaps have a trusted (and Saintly) family member or friend who could offer you an hour or two every evening for a week? Maybe I'm talking crazy. I know that we don't have this kind of support, with no family close, but I thought I'd throw it out there in case you do.
Lastly, our Sleep Plan really hinged on this changing of the guard. And they were careful to stress that once the new routine had been successfully implemented, it would be critical for me to return to the role of bedtime person to reinforce that these new rules were here to stay.
Anyway, you know that I am there with you in spirit and in (recent) memory. Just thought I'd throw my craziness around a bit today, I blame it on my fever.

Thanks! I know you've BTDT and your sucess is what gives me hope that things can change no matter how bad they seem. I think my facebook post should read "sleep is for the weak!"
BTW, a fever?? Like your immune system is lowered cause there's a baby in there???
[-O<

What @karlamo said?!?!?! @JGY - I have been stalking waiting for your update! Talk to us about this fever !!!

JGY · December 2014

@karlamo, @kh826 - ILYguys.

Seeing as how G has been sick for a week, I fear it's not a compromised immune system due to PG, but I guess you never know. I've been very unlike myself this time and have really held off POAS. I mean, I'm only at 10DPO today (and with G I got a BFN on 10DPO), but I'm still usually WAY more gung ho on the testing.

I think part of me is really nervous to test for a few reasons. If it's negative, I have to face the reality that things might NOT be any easier this time and it's going to cost more money than I'm ready to scrounge up, if it even ever happens. On the flip side, if it's positive ... well there are other emotions tied into that. Of course I would be grateful and feel quite a bit of joy. But I would also be reminded of the sadness that I feel on a daily basis for all of my friends, both here on TB and IRL, who are still struggling and in pain awaiting their BFPs and take home babies. Life can just be so cruel sometimes, and I would feel more than my fair share of guilt looking down a 9 month road to two babies of my own when so many amazing people have none.

I tell ya, the emotions are really getting to me this time.

Sorry to hijack this thread, everyone!

CageyMack · December 2014

Hi!

William is 20 months old.

Highs? He is toilet training like a superstar-CHAMP! He is even night-training, of his own choice. He poops in the potty if we let him hang out naked in the kitchen for an hour (runs to his wee potty on the kitchen floor), and will not have a pee mistake if we take him every 30-45 minutes. Sometimes will say "potty" to go, too, which is wonderful.

Night training was not my idea, nor my DWs. But basically we woke up at 11pm about 5 nights in and said, "potty!" We tried to say he had a diaper on, but he was frantic. So we plopped him on the potty, he peed, clapped, and fell asleep on my shoulder as I was holding on his little potty. Then he cried at about 3:45am, peed and asleep again. Then up at 6 am. Now it seems to be we potty him before we go to sleep (10-11pm) and he can last to almost 5am. Freaky. It is pretty fun to have him clap in the night to celebrate his completed pee, especially when I can't even hear his pee in the potty.

Lows?

Dude has eczema. He is a rough-skinned little lizard. Some of the spots looked like ring-worm, but two docs confirmed it is eczema. Lots of Eucerin lotion and he is feeling much better. Oh, baby.

QOTD: How do you get anything done? What has shifted in your priorities? Any tips? Any goals?

This QOTD makes me laugh out loud. I don't get much done, but now that W goes to daycare 5 days a week, I have one non-work day when he is in care to get some stuff taken care of. Also, DW made an AH-MAY-ZING daily chore chart that she, myself and DD (11 years old) complete. We each have one specific task in the AM and PM that is sort of a "must do." This frees us all up to work on "above and beyond" tasks, since we aren't worrying about dishes, dog feeding, poop picking up, dish putting away, etc.

And now that W is a little older, he can self-entertain a bit better. Awesome!

2MamazInSeattle · December 2014

I read the responses throughout today and will just offer hugs to those who need them (or, naps if I could offer that).

Simone will be 16 weeks this week!

I haven't updated in ages and while there is a ton to say, I'll try to keep it reasonable...

We tried sleep training. Way too soon... instead, we are aiming to keep her awake times limited to 2 hours, and paying better attention to her cues. She is sleeping in her bassinet now which has been nice for us to have our bed back. Sometimes she comes back at like 5 or 6 a.m. but that's ok. @KH826, I worry all the time too at night - nothing you can do but remind yourself you've followed all the guidelines and otherwise statistics are on your side. Or so I tell myself.
Simone is amazing and I'm more crazy for her everyday. She rolled back to front once! She is so smiley and sweet/fun. She occupies herself on her playmat for up to an hour sometimes. She's cuddly and sweet, but not uber cuddly - I still think she's going to be med-low on the physical affection scale.
I'm sad to go back to work, but ready in a way too...Jan 1 I'm going back - it's a week sooner than I need to but to make my boss and my bank account happy, I decided another week doesn't make much of a difference.
Thanks to those of you who piped in on my TTT - J and I have been nagging the crap out of each other. We're talking about it and trying to do better. It's hard...baby be demanding!
I weighed Simone and she's over 14 lbs, and measured almost 26 (!!) inches. Four-month appt is on the 18th.
I'm still nursing but only 3-4 times a day, tops. She still likes it, I still like it, but she's glugging formula to the tune of 24-30 oz. a day. Sigh. But she's thriving and that is good.
@CageyMack, she is scaley too! I got this oil from the Honest Co. and it's helped immensely, but her limbs are a bit...reptilian.
I started Weight Watchers and J joined me - which is weird as she is usually very stable in her weight, but apparently was displeased with her annual physical. Makes it easier for me! I'm 13.8 lbs from my TTC start weight...that's my first goal. Then just 20 more .

Overall I'm happy, more busy than I can understand (like seriously where does the day go?) We are all coming down with something which sucks. J hasn't been sick since 2012, and my last illness was during the first tri of my first pregnancy (Jan 2013). Making it two years is great, but still...and I'm scared for the baby to be sick for the first time. Boo .

QOTW: I try to maximize nap times...keep a list, and sometimes J and S will go to bed and I'll stay up for an hour or two and haul ballz on stuff around the house. That is super productive time actually!! While I may give up a little bit of sleep, I sleep better without the stress of chores hanging over our head. We also have a housecleaner we just dropped to 2x/month vs. every week which we are feeling but $ wise with the nanny coming on it had to be done.

ATXmommas · December 2014

@stringy813‌ & @Karlamo‌ - wishing thought of sweet sleeping babies to you soon! I'm scared of the 15-month threshold coming and going with no change, but I'm (naively) holding onto hope that this kid will just figure it out on his own. Stringy, so sorry M was sick. It's such a helpless feeling. Glad things are getting better.

@sarahtrpt‌ - that is soooo infuriating about your wife's employer. Please keep us posted. What are some of C's favorite foods? I, all of a sudden, have a picky eater and am looking for ideas.

@jazibel - that's so cool that K is starting to engage in actual conversations! I'm really looking forward to that stage. And congrats to EV!

@ball.and.chain‌ - what a champ little B is! That's great! I don't know if what I did a couple weeks ago is in line with the method you used - I let Ash cry on and off for an hour and a half, but I stayed with him. I broke down at the end. I wonder if being in the room makes a difference to the outcome...

@KH826‌ - I'm fairly certain that Ash has actually ingested a little bit of dog food at this point. I've had to fish some out of his mouth on numerous occasions. Even when we put the bowls up, he finds the rogue stray piece on the ground. I hope you start sleeping better. You are doing everything right. Like @2MamazInSeattle‌ said, stats are on your side.

@jrtmom‌ - I'm sooo sorry you had a rough weekend.

Our current WW is a doozy as well. Hope things turn around soon.

@kleigh1 - I'm sorry S has an ear infection.

We've been there and it's terrible. One thing I'll say about day care germs is that the kiddos get exposed and start building immunity early. Kids who stay home at a young age will go through the same thing when they are older and enter school. Neither is better or worse in my mind, but unless we keep our kids in a bubble, it's gonna happen eventually. I hope this is the last EI for S!

@JGY - you're awesome. Love the support you have to give. Thank you for being you. And keep us posted in what that fever means!

@TwoMomsInTX‌ - thank you for the input!!! The $700 one is the top of the line model that my friend researched. I'm soooo happy to hear that you are pleased with your model. I needed to hear that - I'm such a sucker and always think I need the most expensive model.

@CageyMack‌ - way to go with the potty training! I'm amazed!

@2MamazInSeattle‌ - yay for making the update!!! Sounds like S is doing so well. And thank you for introducing the term, "hauls ballz," to me!

ETA (scrolling on mobile is hard):

@Flygirl1228‌ - Way to go W! I love when Ash surprises me with something new he can do! And enjoy Q'a baby talk. It's the best!

ball.and.chain · December 2014

ATXmommas said:

@ball.and.chain‌ - what a champ little B is! That's great! I don't know if what I did a couple weeks ago is in line with the method you used - I let Ash cry on and off for an hour and a half, but I stayed with him. I broke down at the end. I wonder if being in the room makes a difference to the outcome...

I will say that one of the reasons I think it didn't bother us too much is because we stayed away. I think being in the room with him would have been harder for me to take, but we went downstairs and turned down the monitor so we could hear him but he wasn't loud. Then we would go in periodically (according to the prescribed Ferber schedule) to let him know we were there, and then leave.

redrockmama · December 2014

Hugs to all those with sleep struggles. Being exhausted everyday is no fun.

M is 5 1/2 months old.

Let's see, it seems like so much has happened in a week. We are officially offering M food here and there. We was getting pretty upset about us not sharing our food with him so we decided to jump in with BLW. He doesn't seem to care much about putting it in his mouth, but we figure he wants to start figuring it out so we are letting him. He had some banana first and it was too slippery for him. J was holding him at the time so he put in in her hand and then lifted her hand to his mouth, it was pretty hilarious. He gagged a little, but all is well so far. I started reading the BLW book, but have a ways to go. I asked J if she was going to read it (so that I would know whether to just summarize it for her or not) She said eventually, then later that day said she probably wouldn't read it. Argh! Then she started reading it. That woman I swear.

He really only seems to want to walk these days and finally figured out how to bounce a little in his jumper. It seemed like it scared him when he first did it haha. Oh and we are pretty sure he is teething and it is not fun. He started refusing bottles last week, but wants to nurse a lot, is super fussy, but won't take any kind of teether.

Sleep is still miserable for me. Right now he is actually sleeping in his crib, but he was exhausted (only 3-20 min naps today). We'll see how the rest of the night goes. I bought the no cry sleep solution, and am going to read that after the BLW book. I think he would sleep better if he would sleep in his crib, it seems like we wake each other up a lot. I like having his crib sidecarred so I can still reach him and see him and snuggle him, but it's be nice to not have him attached to my boob all night. We've tried a sound macine, and music, but 99% of the time we wakes up within 15 minutes of me laying him down.

Oh and J is super excited about TTC #2 and has started tracking her cycles ahh, I'm so not ready for this.

QOTW: Our house is barely hanging on. We do the bare minimum to get by. We have intentions of hiring cleaners, but don't have to time to research who to go with. One of these days....Having dogs is the worst, especially shedding ones. We got a gate to lock them out of the front of the house and that has helped a little. It's hard with a tiny house though, it gets cluttery fast and when one room is a mess, it's like the whole house is a disater. We'll figure it out one of these days.

YBnormal85 · December 2014

Lennon is starting to get the idea of crawling these days ,though we aren't quite as close as DW thinks. She is 7.5months and is loving all of the Christmas trappings. Enjoying solids,but loves nursing just the same. I am reminded daily how much I'll miss nursing her when the time comes that she weans,hopefully it won't be for quite some time. I enjoy soaking up ever minute with her,even if it's multiple times in the middle of the night. I know I will never look back and regret one second of time spent snuggling this precious little thing,so nighttime wake ups are welcomed.We switched her from her arms reach Co sleeper to her crib as she is getting SO big.

QOTD
I don't feel any pressure to get a certain amount of things done daily. I do what I can,and don't feel bad about what goes unfinished. Diaper laundry is the only exception as it has to be done within a certain time frame. I wear the baby in a wrap/carrier if she's not content playing in her play area . baby wearing has been a wonderful help,I wish I had utilized it when I was a nanny.

ATXmommas · December 2014

Flygirl1228 said:
@ATXmommas‌ we have a roomba too! It was a wedding gift! We have two dogs and a cat. We also have all hardwood floors. She has been going strong for three years! We have her going everyday! I love it!! We never had to sweep our whole house since we got her. She goes under our coaches and other furniture! Our family sees how much we love it, so they all bought a roomba/Irobot. We also named all of our roombas. I'm too embarrassed to tell you our robots name though! ☺️ You'll buy it and never go back!! Plus, you'll ask what took you so long to buy one!!

Only down fall, is that you'll have to clean it every once in a while and/or buy new parts. I.e new brush or side sweeper. Over all, it's still worth it!

I'm sooooooo getting one of these. What model do you have?

ATXmommas · December 2014

TwoMomsInTX said:

Flygirl1228 said:

We also named all of our roombas. I'm too embarrassed to tell you our robots name though! ☺️

We named our too! Again, too embarrassed to say what her name is! LOL

----quote box fail---

Both of you must share.

ETA: post on confessions thread if you must.

2brides · December 2014

G bent his glasses for the first time. Only took 3m of wearing them to need a repair...longer than I anticipated.

The kids are crazy excited about Christmas and their behavior is showing it...and not in a good way.

QOTD: Well now it is MUCH easier.

When the kids were 4sh, we ended up hiring a cleaning service to clean the house (initially weekly and now bi-weekly.) I wish we'd done it years before (we did it briefly when they were newborns, but it was hard with $$$ for a nanny.) It is amazing. It forces us to declutter before they come and walking in to a sparkly house is delightful.

Before cleaners, we'd clean on Friday nights (boooo) and make sure toys/kitchen/playroom was cleaned every night before bed. But the biggest thing was having a wife who was very Type A and organized. She (mostly) has led me to her ways.

We would do stuff during naps and occasionally after bed. We'd do Costco/Sams runs Friday night after work with the kids and then grocery shopping on Saturday mornings before their naps. Now it is a free for all.

And we order a lot of stuff from Amazon.

Karlamo · December 2014

Thank you all for your words of sympathy and encourgement!

An update on R's sleeping saga....

I'm not going to label this as anything, but last night R went to sleep at 7:30 with 5 min of crying, he slept till 11:46, he was nursed and then woke at 2am and cried until 3:11am with us soothing him, leaving the room and him starting up again.

At 3:30 he awoke and was nursed in his nursery and brought in bed with us where he fell asleep snoring. He must have been exhausted, but at least he didn't eat all night.

I know how pathetic this post must read but honestly it feels like we are sloooowly moving in the right direction.

The kicker is I couldn't sleep a wink last night! Mind wouldn't slow down with my FET tomorrow.

I-)

@redrockmama, I am the last person who should be giving out sleep advice so humor me here, but whichever method you chose to use to sleep train M with, I'm inclinded to believe the sooner the better. We started sleep training R at 7 months, which is the earliest we felt comfortable doing it, and within a week we saw results. He was only waking twice to nurse. Then he got sick for 5 weeks and we traveled so we fell back into our old habits. Now sleep training a soon to be 10 month old who can stand up in his crib is way harder than when he was 7 months old. I thnk high needs babies which is what R is, are a lot harder to train.

redrockmama · December 2014

@Karlamo‌ thanks, I think you are so right. Our pediatrician told us the same thing. Part of me thinks we should start doing something other than putting him in his crib after he's asleep, bur then I don't want because i feel he needs me right now andplusalso am waaaay too tired. Going to read that book soon though.

JGY · December 2014

Karlamo said:

@redrockmama, I am the last person who should be giving out sleep advice so humor me here, but whichever method you chose to use to sleep train M with, I'm inclinded to believe the sooner the better. We started sleep training R at 7 months, which is the earliest we felt comfortable doing it, and within a week we saw results. He was only waking twice to nurse. Then he got sick for 5 weeks and we traveled so we fell back into our old habits. Now sleep training a soon to be 10 month old who can stand up in his crib is way harder than when he was 7 months old. I thnk high needs babies which is what R is, are a lot harder to train.

I think there is a lot of truth to this. I found myself constantly saying "I wish I had done this before G was able to do (insert milestone here)."

Jazibel · December 2014

I'm embarrassed to say that it's Wednesday morning and I just finished reading all the posts. Thanks all for sharing your sleep sagas. We're struggling with sleep training Owen and I feel like I'm relying on crutches (like his swing) when he fights me to fall asleep in the crib. We were doing great and then a cold and teething set in and I didn't stick withe the plan. Now I have a much more stubborn 7 month old. I feel re-inspired to work out a plan while EV is off work to get him to fall asleep on his own and work on limiting night wakings. @JGY- I like your "changing of the guards idea".

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