Late night overthinking...

xooemilyrose · November 2014

I'm 6.5 months pregnant with a little boy who is diagnosed with a severe congenital heart defect and a bleeding disorder. I've been alone pretty much the whole pregnancy after not seeing my ex bf since I was 2 months pregnant and finding out when I was 3 months pregnant that he had a gf for 4 months. ( Me and his gf talked and that's how I found out!) regardless, I'm still excited and happy to have my little man make his appearance come this February

it's just a lot to deal with thinking of 3 open heart surgeries with no contact or even any emotional concerns for my baby from the father or his family after being together for over a year before our break when he met this girl. I even received a phone call from his mom one night and I didn't answer... I texted her back and she told me she dialed the wrong number. From listening to the voicemail she didn't know was recording, it was obvious she butt dialed me. It's just kinda sad my baby is going to have a tough start to his life and his father won't even be around for him.... It's better for me that way, but I just feel bad for my son. Sorry so long, but it's all I think about late at night. How do you single moms do it??!!

Sincerely,
going craaaazzzyy!

MinnesotaMomma91 · November 2014

Im sorry for what your going through and i cant imagine what your feeling in regaurds to your child. But chin up.

Its better for this child to grow up without a dad then to have a dad around who doesnt want to be a dad and doesnt want to be there.

Doing it on your own is hard but its worth it. Hugs.

Unknown · November 2014

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ST3WD · November 2014

The baby already has something that many don't: a loving and concerned mother. It's totally normal to mourn the loss of paternal involvement, but try focusing on being as prepared as possible for this LO.

I don't know how you could be feeling, having to go through this scary diagnosis, but I do hope everything works out for you. Keep us updated! *hugs*

xooemilyrose · November 2014

Thank you mommies! He has tricuspid atresia (missing a heart valve so his right heart will be severely under developed) and he also has hemophilia, his blood won't clot like our does

he'll be at children's hospital of philadelphia for a few weeks after birth for his heart surgery and recovery.

Unknown · November 2014

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ST3WD · November 2014

xooemilyrose I'll keep sending T&Ps your way, especially with how the weather's been going. February might be dodgy.

When's your due date?

xooemilyrose · November 2014

@ST3WD‌ it's so coldddd! I'm due feb 27th and it's supposed to be a pretty snowy winter! I have an hour ride to the hospital when I go into labor. Just going to make things more interesting haha!

kelly136 · December 2014

Does the father know about the medical issues? That might get his attention and encourage him to be involved. Even if he's not involved, there are so many resources and support for both single moms and children with special conditions that you won't have to go through everything alone. Most hospitals provide support groups or classes for new moms so you can start building a support system.

xooemilyrose · December 2014

I tried to call him and left a voicemail, which I wasn't sure if he listens to it when it's me so I called his sister who he lives with to inform her of his diagnosis. She had me on speaker phone with their parents there (unknowingly to me) and they all acted unemotional and not too concerned and i still haven't heard from any of them. It's been two months now but since this post I've gotten a little better with dealing with the absence of everyone. The closer it gets to me having my baby boy (february) the more I'm only focused on my son, who I think will make me stronger when I can actually hold him

@kelly136‌

MinnesotaMomma91 · December 2014

@Xooemilyrose it is hard when you reach out and get nothing back. But im glad your able to focus more on the approach of your ds.

This board is a great place to sound off and find some support.

ST3WD · December 2014

xooemilyrose said:

I tried to call him and left a voicemail, which I wasn't sure if he listens to it when it's me so I called his sister who he lives with to inform her of his diagnosis. She had me on speaker phone with their parents there (unknowingly to me) and they all acted unemotional and not too concerned and i still haven't heard from any of them. It's been two months now but since this post I've gotten a little better with dealing with the absence of everyone. The closer it gets to me having my baby boy (february) the more I'm only focused on my son, who I think will make me stronger when I can actually hold him @kelly136‌

It sucks they acted like nothing mattered. *hugs* Hang in there, Mama.

Calling is okay, but follow up with some sort of written record of when/why you called. Either at home in a notebook or through a text to him. You may need the documentation later on. I hope you don't, but it's better to have it than not.

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