question on facebook

Re: question on facebook

• rserrano8 member

  December 2014

  Thanks. He will be speaking to her tonight since we were invited over for dinner but he will be going alone since now i feel as if i cant trust her around my children. We'll see how that goes... If not i will try reporting her to facebook hopefully they'll be able to do something about it.

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• amedbery member

  December 2014

  I feel pretty strongly about limiting my children's online presence, so I understand your anger and frustration - especially since she knew and broke the ground rules. I'm also a big believer in boundaries. I would let her know that she will not see her grandchildren until the pictures are down. I would also be wary of her being with your kids unsupervised from now on. If she is willing to knowingly and intentionally disrespect your wishes on that front, I wouldn't trust her to obey other rules you may have to keep LOs safe. Good luck - sorry she put you through that. Hope DH is willing to stick to his guns with you.

  

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• CandEChicago member

  December 2014

  You have some good advice. If it doesn't work you might also want to consult an attorney.

  
  

  
  

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• Beevol member

  December 2014

  I post pictures of my kid to Facebook, and honestly, if I were you I would sick to my cubs and let her know that she won't be seeing your children until the pictures are down.
  
  She clearly and deliberately disrespected your wishes with regards to the safety of your children. She might not think it's a big deal but lots of people put their kids in car seats with pouffy coats on not thinking it's big deal too.

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• rserrano8 member

  December 2014

  After DH had a word with her she thought i was out of my mind for trying to tell her what to do with her facebook page something that is totaly untrue since all i want is for her to take down those photos nothing else. dh and i have decided she wont be seeing our duaghters for quite a while since she can be quite stubborn. And i done have anything against people postinf photos of thier children on social media.. To me it just feels as it isnt safe and everyone is entitled to thier own opinion and just as how i respect everyone elses opinion i wish MIL would repect mine.

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• beaniousmaximus member

  December 2014 edited December 2014

  My MIL kept doing this too. I do have facebook and I post pictures of my son, but I only have close friends and family on my friend's list. My MIL on the other hand has hundreds of "friends" she barely knows. I asked her to stop posting so many pictures of my son when he was born, and she didn't stop. She actually started saving and re-posting my pictures to bypass my privacy settings. THEN she blocked me from seeing her pictures at all. Eventually my boyfriend told her that we needed to have a talk about boundaries and privacy.... she stopped her bullshit immediately. She still posts pictures sometimes, but it's a lot more reasonable now.
  
  Hopefully your husband will be able to convince her to stop. But for the time being, I agree with limiting how much she sees your daughter. If she's going to disrespect you guys like that, what other boundaries is she going to cross in the future? Hopefully she'll realize that you're in charge and her nonsense will not be tolerated. 
  
  Oh, and my MIL also took the liberty of announcing the birth of my son onto facebook too (she announced it to MY family as well...because she added them on facebook while I was having my csection)! But that's a whole other story lol.

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• Shortstack06 member

  December 2014

  rserrano8 said:

  After DH had a word with her she thought i was out of my mind for trying to tell her what to do with her facebook page something that is totaly untrue since all i want is for her to take down those photos nothing else. dh and i have decided she wont be seeing our duaghters for quite a while since she can be quite stubborn. And i done have anything against people postinf photos of thier children on social media.. To me it just feels as it isnt safe and everyone is entitled to thier own opinion and just as how i respect everyone elses opinion i wish MIL would repect mine.

  My husband doesn't have any type of social media, I do however.  I have very strict privacy settings.  I told DH last night that I want him to talk to his family about social media and when it is okay to post a picture of our child.  I feel my MIL will take a picture send it to her sister and the sister will post it on Facebook for the whole world to see. I know the moments are precious and that we want to remember them forever.  I will post a picture of my child or the birth announcement, eventually but if I want a picture of my child on there, I will be the one to post it.

  D14 - Free For All

  
  

  In loving memory of Baby HP42 and all D14 Angel Babies

  
  

  

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• amedbery member

  December 2014

  A friend of mine is a social media professional and she told me about how companies scan photos and do facial recognition tracking, etc., starting with younger children. It is crazy. Plus, older people are less savvy and can accidentally give criminals enough information to put a child's identity at risk. Therefore, I think what you put on social media about children is a big deal.
  
  Even if it weren't, a grandparent is not a parent and should respect a parent's wishes at all times, unless the parent is putting their child in real danger. Good for you, OP, for standing up for your kids. It can be really tough, but your MIL obviously needs to learn that these are your kids and your rules. Restricting access seems harsh, but if she ignores you on this issue, I wouldn't trust her on car seats or other safety measures. Also, if talking to her didn't give her the message, something needs to. I am shocked that she refused to take the pictures down when asked by you and DH. Her refusal to do so means she is the one deciding she won't see the kids.

  

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